Is this the start or the end (part 3)?

Apr 21, 2016
698
310
63
Bluffton, SC
#1
https://www.wifewantstoplay.com/threads/is-this-the-start-or-the-end-part-2.5840/
We hadn't planned on an overnighter so we didn't have extra clothing. We dressed commando style. Disposed of the discarded condom and wrapper. Packed the lube and baby doll and headed out the door.

On the way home I asked if she wanted to talk about it, she said not now. I asked if that means we'll talk about it later. She said "let's not start the dance, just let it be". I agreed and told her I'd leave it to her to bring it up, she said she would, promise (but she lies, breaks promises and can't keep a secret - just ask). I was engrossed in thoughts of how she became an active participant after her stonewall attitude and thought of the movie 'The Sex Monster.' I asked if she wanted me to stop for breakfast, she said absolutely not that she needed to get home as fast a possible, that she keeps having mini-orgasms and needs privacy. I kept looking at her and watched as her legs kept contracting closed. I reached home and got her into the house, then bed. I laid there with her as the minis continued. She nodded off I stayed awake. About an hour later she awoke and the minis were gone. I dressed and left for my days activities.



The aftermath

It's now been about a week and I've had a lot to think about. So here are my thoughts, randomly not in any order.

One thing I never anticipated was the short duration of the entire event. From the time we met to the time he shut the door behind himself was just about an hour. Over the years we probably spent several dozen hours arguing about it. Truthfully, in my imagination I never thought about duration, it kinda had a never-ending surrealistic time that kinda restarted over and over again.

I was certain that there would be failure of some kind, that: she would bail out at the last minute, or make the experience so distasteful and awful that he would leave or she would submit by just jumping on the bed legs in the air and tell us to 'just get it over with'. Not only was I wrong but surprised and bewildered that she dove in by dressing sexy and was prepared more so than I by bringing condoms, lube and lingerie. I still can't get my arms around that there was so much fighting to NOT do this.

I am now officially a cuckold and she a hotwife, or is she? Certainly by definition (sorry I'm anal that way) I am, however, does one time make her a hotwife? I don't know. Of course the times I am sure she cheated on me would notch her up on that scale but she denied, admitted then recanted her admission. So for a fact this is the ONLY time I am sure she had another man since our vows.

I was surprised when she told him to remove the condom as she used high risk possibility of STD as one of her many reasons to not play with others. Once it was off I wasn't surprised that she told him to cum in her as she loves cum, in her and on her.

Did she have a good time?, we haven't yet spoken about it, the ball is in her corner. But I think perhaps 9 orgasms is a clue, unless of course her body betrayed her. What? I am of the belief that women's and men's bodies respond to sexual stimulation, a physiological reaction but the mind, the emotion isn't receptive and rejects the enjoyment and pleasure that body is receiving.

I imagine he had a good time, he had 2 orgasms and was fully engaged in the event and I saw no indication of displeasure or boredom on his face. I had a great time. My desire overcame my angst. Watching him enter her for the 1st time was indescribable, then having her stretched and lubricated by him thereby allowing me to enter her, the 1st time in years, was beyond sublime physically and emotionally. Having her take me after him was important for me as it meant I wasn't being rejected for him, my insecurity.

I did/do feel bad that I coerced her to violate our wedding vows of fidelity that she professed to take so seriously. But I think the pleasure she received made that fade away. Yes, to an extreme I do feel like a shit, a dirtbag, that I allowed, no, not allowed but gave, my wife, my life partner, my love, my prize to another man, a stranger, against her desires for the selfish purpose of satisfying my own self interest. Yes, I imagined that she would enjoy herself as well, and all indication is she did, there it is, the justification.

Will there be a repeat? I have no idea. Until we speak, I am clueless. Do I want a repeat? At this point in time the answer is yes, I think so. Will I bring it up if she doesn't? Probably.

I no longer play the fantasy in my head, I have the real thing to play. I would love to have pics, better yet video. But that will never happen, she doesn't even like me to shoot her in normal life.

Our sex life afterwards is like it has been for many years now, terrible. I had hoped there would be an improvement.

My emotions are running from one extreme to the other. Her's? I have no idea.

I'm open to questions, advice and comments.
 
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Apr 21, 2016
698
310
63
Bluffton, SC
#4
No it was recent. In part 1 I state the date 8/30 when the thing started. It was this year, 8/30/18. A mere 2 weeks ago.

She hasn't as yet and I am reluctant to mention it. I don't always know when to back off, but am trying extremely hard to wait for her to bring it up.

We are in South Carolina, the Low Country, so her attention & obsession has been focused on Florence.
 
Dec 19, 2016
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#5
Hey, its great that your wife finally accepted to have that hotwife/cuck experience, definitely is a bag of emotions but a great lifestyle, at least for my wife and I. I hope she does open up more and share her thoughts on what happened, but i understand about florence, we have been the same here in va. We came back to our house today and already our neighbor came up to us and told us how he misses my wife and hopes he can have her sometime this week.
 
Apr 21, 2016
698
310
63
Bluffton, SC
#6
Good to have one waiting in the wings. I'll post when there's something to post. Yes, her pleasure is really front and foremost though it may not seem that way. Her orgasm is more important than mine.
 
Apr 21, 2016
698
310
63
Bluffton, SC
#8
Florence was gone, history, at least for us. Monday 9/17 she asked me if we had plans for Tuesday 9/18 night. After I told her we didn't, she told me (not ask mind you, but told) to contact him and see if he's available for Saturday, the next night. I asked if she was serious, I got a snarky affirmative reply. I asked if she wanted to talk about it, she said as far as she's concerned this says it all. OK. I told her it wouldn't be the Hyatt again that our budget wouldn't allow it that it would be a much cheaper mote. She says she was thinking here. I reminded her one of her rules when we 1st discussed this thing was 'not in our home'. She reminded me that she also told me she wouldn't have sex with anyone else and she did, that things change, that I should get used to it. I said he could stay in the spare bedroom. She said no, that he could share our bed and to have him here for dinner as well. That was a surprise but I said OK.


I sent him an e-mail inviting him for the night. He wrote back that he'd love to but it was a long drive afterwards. I told him he'd be able to spend the night. He wrote back that the be there with pleasure. I gave him directions and called in a gate pass (we live in a gated senior community).


He arrived as expected. I BBQ'd and we ate, the air was thick, very tense. We discussed Florence and past hurricanes. I put on a movie to lighten things up, a comedy "My Cousin Vinny." It worked, we made jokes along with the movie, they had drinks, I don't indulge but it all seemed to ease the unnecessary tension. We had ice cream as a after dinner dessert with Amaretto. When we were done she took our hands and guided us to our bedroom saying "the night isn't getting any younger". As we entered the bedroom she excused herself saying that she needed to 'freshen up' and she wanted a repeat of our 1st night.


She emerged from our dressing room/closet wearing the same 'baby doll' as last time. We repeated the best we could. She had the same 9 orgasms. This time he had no need to roll a rubber on as he has already had her bareback. And bareback it was.


I have no idea why she wanted a repeat of the same scenario. When he & I were spent we laid on either side of her, she reached up to the headboard and pulled down her Magic Wand and masturbated to 3 more orgasms as we laid there enjoying the show she was putting on. When she was done we all fell asleep.


Several hours later I woke up to them fucking,. She was riding him. I reached over to touch her, she took my hand without breaking stride and put it on my cock. It was yet another surreal scene, my wife fucking another guy as I laid next to them in our bed masturbating. I had no idea how long they had been at it. I took some lube in my hand and went about it. The sex was exciting to watch, him kneading her nipples and rubbing her clit was great. What wasn't so great for me was when she leaned down and kissed him, it didn't seem like a sex kiss but a instead a connection kiss, that bothered me.


He announced his was cumming and trusted harder, deeper and faster and she matched his movements riding faster and harder matching his orgasm with one of her own. I couldn't hold back and unloaded a puddle of cum on my abdomen. She collapsed on him laying flat on his chest his arms around her mostly holding her butt checks as she kissed him me watching still holding my shrinking cock. After a few minutes she slid off him with a poping sound and reached up to the head board and took another 'cum towel' putting it between her legs. She repositioned and licked and sucked him clean. She tossed the used cum on my hand held cock to clean up.


She again repositioned and laid down between us. She can't lay on her side but her position definitely favored him giving me more of her back than side or front laying in his cradled arm. It was if I was a bystander. I wasn't happy. I glanced at the clock it was 1:05am. We all fell asleep.


I awoke at about 5:30 to them fucking again. She was on her back and he was driving her with a steady rhythm. She had her legs locked around his legs, her hands around his back. He was alternating sucking her nipples and kissing her. He repositioned himself on his knees still in her. He continued thrusting, he alternated between rubbing her clit and tweaking her nipples. She did the same, when he was on her clit she was on her nipples and when he went to her nipples she went to her clit. She told him to make her cum again, I reached over and touched her, gravitating to her left nipple (I was on her left side) she reached out to me and tweaking my nipple as well. And said she wanted to suck my cock. With difficulty I repositioned myself, (seniors aren't very limber). She sucked my cock as I tried to face fuck her, she stopped me taking control.


She told me to cum, I said I wasn't ready, she repeated with more force saying "I told you to cum". I conjured up all my fantasy and dribbled my load in her mouth which she willingly swallowed. That triggered another orgasm for her. He pulled out of her and stroked his cock unloading on her abdomen and stomach. Like me he's a dribbler. When he was done milking the last drop he was still firm and reentered her. I laid back down and rubbed my now limp dick hoping for a resurrection, as they fucked yet again. Ah yes to be young and virile, I remember those days. It only took a few minutes and he was again cumming this time in her sweet pussy. The reward was another orgasm for her. When he was done he pulled out and moved up to her mouth where she cleaned him up. He got out of bed and got her a cum towel from the headboard. Instead she reached for her Magic Wand and went to work on herself.


He asked if he could shower and I told him of course. I laid there as she masturbated using his cum as lube, Sure enough a few minutes later she had another orgasm. She put the vibe aside and got out of bed, took her walker and went into the bathroom. She left he doors open to the bedroom which allowed me to see what was going on. She got into the shower and knelt down and sucked his cock. He stopped washing and put his hands on the shower stall wall and let her suck him. In a few more minutes I heard him cum. Knowing her I am sure she swallowed every drop.


He kissed her and exited the shower. He dried, preened and worked on getting dressed. I was watching the entire scene and tried to get into the shower with her, She stopped me and told me to just wash her back. I tried to touch her pussy, more firmly she said, "just my back." It did as she asked. When done she got out and dried herself wrapping the towel around herself. They met in the bedroom as he had finished dressing as was ready to leave. She went to him unwrapped the towel and they had a deep kiss, him dressed her naked. When they separated she re-wrapped the towel. He thanked to us both and made a point of thanking me for sharing her, she told him she had shared herself that I had nothing to do with it. He made his way out. She unwrapped got into bed spread her legs and told me "you have permission to fuck me now". This was the 1st time she ever, ever took this tack.


I cannot express my feelings. To add 'insult to injury' I couldn't get it up. She told me to "take a pill", that is code for Viagra, I reminded her that it takes 45-60 minutes to work and it has a 2-3 hour window of opportunity. She said too bad. I got on the bed and tried to go down on her. She stopped me saying the permission was for fucking only. Holy shit!!!!!!!!!


She got up as did I and we dressed for the day. When done I asked if she wanted to talk yet, She asked rhetorically "what is there to talk about?"


This was excruciating. I felt like I was being treated as an after thought and she doesn't want to talk?


Again the sex was hot, real hot but the kissing wasn't, jealousy. I thought I didn't have a jealous bone in my body, I was wrong. I was not enjoying the ever increasing snark, sarcasm and general negative demeanor towards me.


I fear a talk will turn into an argument if we don't get it out and on the table real soon. And that is a very very bad thing.
 
Apr 21, 2016
698
310
63
Bluffton, SC
#10
Monday 9/24 she called as I was at one of the many community functions. She told me she was ready to talk. I rushed home. I'm gonna put this in dialog from to the best of my recollection. I was truly a surprising eye opener for me. Yes there is some embellishment, some literary license, but very little. I needed to make it more understandable.

ME: "The floor is yours."

HER: "First, thanks for everything and I do mean everything."

ME: "Sounds like you're ready to walk out."

HER: "Nope - just thanking you for all you do for me."

ME: "Sorry I misunderstood and thank you. I don't hear it too often and it's nice to hear."

HER: "Before we begin I need you to promise to not throw any of this up in my face."

ME: "I won't."

HER: "I need a promise."

ME: "I promise I won't throw it up in your face but that doesn't mean I won't mention it. And I want a promise from you that you won't lie, be sarcastic, snarky or nasty. AND a promise that you won't break your promise."

HER: "Fair enough."

ME: "I need to hear the words I Promise."

HER: "Really?"

ME: "Yes, really."

HER: "OK I promise. You've pushed me for years to have other men. And I have resisted. You pressed me for sex and I know our sex life has turned to crap. So let's take each one it's own."

ME: "OK."

HER: "I love sex. I always have. You know I was very promiscuous when I was younger. I never really told you any details, and I may tell you some now, but remember your promise. And I realized how much I missed it, you made that happen, you pushed me and I resisted now I thank you."

ME: "OK. That's a bit of a unexpected twist."

HER: "I never said no to anyone ever for any type of sex. I estimate I had sex with around 500 people in those years."

ME: "Yes you've told me that before but this time you said people, in the past you said men."

HER: "Yup that's right. You know I suffer from some obsessive compulsive behavior. You've seen it with many things is our life."

ME: "OK."

Note that she's the kind of person that assurance I'm listening and a constant 'continue', hence a lot of OK.

HER: "The 1st time I got laid was magnificent ."

ME: "Yes you told me that last week."

HER: "But what I didn't tell you is that after that I couldn't get enough."

ME: "Yup, but the number of partners you've had kinda told me that."

HER: "Sheer speculation on your part. In retrospect accurate, but still speculation. Now you've heard it from me directly. Not only was I the recipient of advances, I would make advances myself."

ME: "OK. But how does this affect our sex life."

HER: "Have patience I'm getting there. There's a thing you say that pisses me off to no end, it just plain gets my blood boiling."

ME: "Like what?"

HER: "You know."

ME: "I probably do but I need to hear it so I don't assume anything.."

HER: "For example when you use the s--- word. I hate it, hate it, hate it."

ME: "But I never say it to be mean or throw it up in your face, I say it as the model of woman I want you to be. But I never get to say it all, the moment the word exits my lips we're off to the races."

HER: "That's right and it'll always be that way."

ME: "But........"

HER: "No buts. My mother used to call me that, my father used to call me that, as did my sister and my brother even while we were having sex. I hated it then and hate it now."

ME: "You did say your brother, Matthew?"

HER: "Yes Matthew, do I have another."

ME: "How often?"

HER: "Several times a week."

ME: "For how long?"

HER: "Years, till he went to college."

ME: "Hell some quick math tells me hundreds of times. What about when you went to college, you went first?"

HER: "I lived at home, he went to Buffalo. Hundreds, yeah probably."

ME: "Did your parents know?"

HER: "Hell no."

ME: "What about your sister, did she know?"

HER: "Probably had an inkling."

ME: "Was he doing her as well?"

HER: "She was too young."

ME: "You're never too young. Tell me more about you and Matt."

HER: "No. Let's get back to the conversation at hand shall we?"

ME: "OK. But I still want to know more."

HER: "Good to want."

ME: "What about your wording 'people' as opposed to 'men'?"

HER: "Let's get back to the conversation at hand shall we?"

ME: "OK, but I sure would like to know."

HER: "Got it! Anyway, I don't remember what caused it but you did something or said something that pissed me off, like when you use the s--- word and it might have even been that. But I wanted to teach you a lesson, to punish you so I cut back you getting sex from me."

ME: "Yeah I remember when you did that. But you never told me what you were doing, you just slowed our sex life to a crawl."

HER: "Yup. In retrospect that was a terrible mistake not telling you what I was doing."

ME: "Which part was a mistake?"

HER: "Not telling you what I was doing."

ME: "But cutting it back was OK?"

HER: "Kinda yes, kinda no."

ME: "I don't get it."

HER: "It's the only power I have and I felt I needed to teach you a lesson."

ME: "Yeah but things got worse, as when you just stopped putting out all together, at least for me."

HER: "I cut you off totally cause you didn't get the message so I figured I'd make it worse."

ME: "You doubled down on a failed punishment."

HER: "Yup that's what I did alright, at least in retrospect."

ME: "Now so many years later how that work out for ya?"

HER: "It failed miserably but I was in too deep to retreat."

ME: "There's kinda an expression for something similar. You die with the lie. And now we have a dead sex life."

HER: "We do!"

ME: "All very interesting and informative but where is this going?"

HER: "Have patience. This isn't easy for me."

ME: "OK."

HER: "It took years of therapy and hundreds of sex partners for me to get control over sexual obsession and compulsions. I didn't get over it, just got control. The therapist called it indiscriminate promiscuity caused by an obsessive compulsive personality disorder coupled with mild ADD."

ME: "Did #1 know?"

HER: "He was one of the guys I was having sex with when I married him."

ME: "Did you stop the others?"

HER: "He thinks I did and that was what was important at the time."

ME: "Is your son his?"

HER: "Yes, probably, maybe, I'm not sure, probably not, I really don't know. But I don't care, I love him none the less."

ME: "Sure hope a DNA issue never arises."

HER" "Me too."

ME: "Nasty business - infidelity is."

HER: "OK. Back to where we were. When I met you I had complete control."

ME: "But we had sex on the first date."

HER: "No we didn't."

ME: "Yes we did. You blew me in the Boston Chicken parking lot in New City."

HER: "Oh yeah I forgot about that."

ME: "Funny how that works, a selective memory I mean.":

HER: "I knew that if I did what you wanted, to have sex with other guys I'd be back to were I was, an uncontrolled obsessive compulsive sex addict."

ME: "I'll tell you a secret. When you first told me of your promiscuous past, all the 'people' you'd been with I had an immediate orgasm filling my underwear."

HER: "I didn't know that."

ME: "It was a secret."

HER: "Why?"

ME: "Which, the secret part or the orgasm part.

HER: "The orgasm part."

ME: "It turned me on, turns me on you having sex with others."

HER: "So I resisted all your efforts until."

ME: "Until what?"

HER: "Until I couldn't take your badgering me anymore. But I thought I had control over it. That I'd do it once, treat you like shit and it'd be over and you'd leave me alone about it."

ME: "And?"

HER: "I loved it. Having a different man in me. I couldn't get enough of him and others. And realized how much I missed it. Different men, the thrill of a new lover, what will his cock, look like, feel like, how does he kiss, his scent, is he a quick shooter or a slow dribbler, is it a big sweet load or a small tart load. I had forgotten how much I missed the unknown and all the energy that it brings."

ME: "Others? You mean the 2 'encounters' you recanted?"

HER: "Nope they never happened."

ME: "But............."

HER: "Should I continue or do you want to argue about it?

ME: "Please continue."

HER: "We'll get there. Have patience."

ME: "OK."

HER: "And I was pissed at you and tried to keep you unsatisfied as a punishment for forcing me into my past life."

ME: "You could have said no."

HER: "I did for years and years, I just couldn't fight you anymore."

ME: "OK. I guess I only gave you the option to say yes."

HER: "Correct. Now I'm back to being the s--- I used to be."

ME: "We don't need to have him here again."

HER: "He won't be, that was the last for him."

ME: "Why not, you seemed to be enjoying yourself, having fun. Explain."

HER: "When you pressured me I kept telling you I needed a connection to have sex. That wasn't entirely accurate. I don't need a connection, but more than a few times with the same person and I get a connection. And I am getting a connection with him. So it needs to end at least as a regular thing."

ME: "I think I understand why you've been so angry with me, given me the cold shoulder and kinda locked me out. You gotta get your pound of flesh."

HER: "That's true."

ME: "You said others."

HER: "Remember what I told you about my obsessive compulsive behavior. And also remember you started us down this path."

ME: "I remember."

HER: "Tuesday I told you I was going out. What did you think?"

ME: "You went to the clubhouse to play Crazy Canasta."

see https://www.wifewantstoplay.com/threads/is-this-the-start-or-the-end-part-4.6019/
 
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