My first ‘date’ is this weekend!!

Several years ago my husband suffered a serious spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Our whole world was flipped upside down in an instant. My love for him never wavered and I will never abandon him.

3 years after his injury and about a year ago from now he brought up the idea of me being with other men given that he is no longer capable. At first, and for the longest time, I was angry and upset that he would ever suggest that. But over time and many many conversations later I saw that he was genuine and that this was coming from a place of love.

As part of his injury we had begun attending group therapy with other families dealing with spinal cord injuries and we met an amazing older couple. They were in a very similar situation as us only it was the wife who sustained the injury. We befriended them, they are older and the husband specifically is 18 years older than me.

The more we got to know them we came to find out they were having similar conversations about him potentially being with another woman. He is an incredibly good looking man and incredibly kind and intelligent.

Fast forward to now, after weeks of the four us talking and then he and I chatting more privately we planned a ‘date’ for this weekend. To say I am excited would be an understatement, but to say I am nervous and anxious would be an understatement as well.
 
Several years ago my husband suffered a serious spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Our whole world was flipped upside down in an instant. My love for him never wavered and I will never abandon him.

3 years after his injury and about a year ago from now he brought up the idea of me being with other men given that he is no longer capable. At first, and for the longest time, I was angry and upset that he would ever suggest that. But over time and many many conversations later I saw that he was genuine and that this was coming from a place of love.

As part of his injury we had begun attending group therapy with other families dealing with spinal cord injuries and we met an amazing older couple. They were in a very similar situation as us only it was the wife who sustained the injury. We befriended them, they are older and the husband specifically is 18 years older than me.

The more we got to know them we came to find out they were having similar conversations about him potentially being with another woman. He is an incredibly good looking man and incredibly kind and intelligent.

Fast forward to now, after weeks of the four us talking and then he and I chatting more privately we planned a ‘date’ for this weekend. To say I am excited would be an understatement, but to say I am nervous and anxious would be an understatement as well.

I hope the date goes really well.
 
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Several years ago my husband suffered a serious spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Our whole world was flipped upside down in an instant. My love for him never wavered and I will never abandon him.

3 years after his injury and about a year ago from now he brought up the idea of me being with other men given that he is no longer capable. At first, and for the longest time, I was angry and upset that he would ever suggest that. But over time and many many conversations later I saw that he was genuine and that this was coming from a place of love.

As part of his injury we had begun attending group therapy with other families dealing with spinal cord injuries and we met an amazing older couple. They were in a very similar situation as us only it was the wife who sustained the injury. We befriended them, they are older and the husband specifically is 18 years older than me.

The more we got to know them we came to find out they were having similar conversations about him potentially being with another woman. He is an incredibly good looking man and incredibly kind and intelligent.

Fast forward to now, after weeks of the four us talking and then he and I chatting more privately we planned a ‘date’ for this weekend. To say I am excited would be an understatement, but to say I am nervous and anxious would be an understatement as well.
Happy your first date and the beginning of new journey.
 
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UPDATE:
So…the date yesterday was amazing, on every level imaginable. Our connection is genuine, the chemistry was something I wasn’t expecting but it felt so natural, the sex was, by far, the most amazing experience of my life. I’ve never felt more seen and heard, in every way imaginable than I did with him.

But there are mixed emotions. Even though my husband wanted this and was excited to hear about it I still feel guilt. And maybe it’s because I feel an emotional connection to this older man, and I know it’s partially because I’ve never gotten off so easily or so often in my life.

My head is all over the place right now though. He and I chatted all night after the date and time we spent together and he is feeling some very similar emotions, which I think in a way gives me a bit of peace.

Is this normal to be having these emotions? My husband, and his wife both seem genuinely excited and happy for us and that is easily the most important part of all of this

I really, really like this older man. I can’t stop thinking about him or the time we spent together for a good portion of the day and evening yesterday.
 
What you are feeling is natural. As long as neither of you want to abandon you partner for the other you can have a great relationship. The beauty of this arrangement is you are both helping each other over a hard spot in life and all parties concerned are on board.
 
What you are feeling is natural. As long as neither of you want to abandon you partner for the other you can have a great relationship. The beauty of this arrangement is you are both helping each other over a hard spot in life and all parties concerned are on board.
Thank you for this reminder. I definitely feel lucky that this all happened…it’s very serendipitous in a way
 
UPDATE:
So…the date yesterday was amazing, on every level imaginable. Our connection is genuine, the chemistry was something I wasn’t expecting but it felt so natural, the sex was, by far, the most amazing experience of my life. I’ve never felt more seen and heard, in every way imaginable than I did with him.

But there are mixed emotions. Even though my husband wanted this and was excited to hear about it I still feel guilt. And maybe it’s because I feel an emotional connection to this older man, and I know it’s partially because I’ve never gotten off so easily or so often in my life.

My head is all over the place right now though. He and I chatted all night after the date and time we spent together and he is feeling some very similar emotions, which I think in a way gives me a bit of peace.

Is this normal to be having these emotions? My husband, and his wife both seem genuinely excited and happy for us and that is easily the most important part of all of this

I really, really like this older man. I can’t stop thinking about him or the time we spent together for a good portion of the day and evening yesterday.

Both of you feeling guilty in this situation is definitely natural. As long as your husband and his wife are still good with this then there's nothing really to feel guilty about as things progress. If you've both been given permission, the guilt will slowly subside. You and the older guy both have your needs as well.
 
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Both of you feeling guilty in this situation is definitely natural. As long as your husband and his wife are still good with this then there's nothing really to feel guilty about as things progress. If you've both been given permission, the guilt will slowly subside. You and the older guy both have your needs as well.
Thank you. The four of us messaged some last night afterwards too and it was nice to have that shared permission in a way
 
All the emotions and feelings are all natural especially after your first experience in this lifestyle. It takes time to process it all, especially when it was such a good experience and the situation you both have with your spouses.