Nerves and questions before marriage

[MissPlayfulBunn]

I'm looking for some advice, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post so sorry if it's not.

I'm not married but I've been with my fiance for 5 years and we're as good as married but without the certificate. It's mostly me who's put off marriage, I love my fiance to bits and we have started a family, it was just that my friends and family always said I fell in love and settled down too early. I agreed with my parents to not marry for at least one year and well, that just continued, we just never got around to walking down the isle. Actually we are thinking of doing that over the next year but that's unrelated to my questions here.

Around 5 months ago while in bed, my fiance was looking fidgity so I asked him what's wrong and he asked me if he could tell me a secret fantasy of his. I was happy for him to share but I was surprised to learn that he had a desire to share me with other men.

Honestly I didn't know what to make of it, I had assumed he'd be jealous about anything like that. I could see he was embarassed so I reassured him that I wasn't angry about it, just surprised. Actually, it was kind of sweet and I was just happy that he coule be honest with me. But I agreed to talk about it and role play it a little.

I see how much pleasure it brings him to talk about it and how excited he gets and if I'm honest, how excited I get as well. Obviously who wouldn't want to have the freedom to experience more and I can say that since then it has become more of a mutual fantasy. When we make love I do find myself imagining other men and I often find myself masturbating in the night playing some sordid fantasy in my mind.

I know my fiance would love to do it for real, he's said as much many times. We've talked about everything from sex clubs to dogging and glory holes. All very exciting fantasies but is it really a good idea to go from fantasy to reality?

There a different things holding me back.

- Will he enjoy watching me for real as much as he thinks he will? Will it cause problems later?
- What if I enjoy it too much? I know I have a good sex drive and really love oral sex and cum and I worry that I might enjoy the adventure too much and want it too often once I've sampled it.
- Is it safe? I know there's protection but what if I'm not disciplined enough to always use protection?
- What if we're found out, by friends or family?
- What if we have some angry wife knocking on the door if I'm playing with married men?
- How will I feel about my fiance being with other women, if that was to happen? I'm bi-curious myself and do like the idea of being with a woman from time to time, if that included my fiance, how would I feel? I really don't know. I may be excited or I might be jealous.
- What if I develop feelings for other men?
- Is it something to experience before we marry or wait until after or doesn't the timing really matter or is it something that can be made part of the wedding experience?
- What if we wanted to have a bigger family and I'm enjoying the lifestyle too much, could that cause complications? What if I became pregnant from someone else while playing around? I could never terminate so any guy would need to accept the risk, even if small.

I think I'm nervous because I do like the idea and because my fantasies have only become more wild. I worry that once I've dipped my toes into the lifestyle for real, it might consume me too much or cause problems later. I only slept with one guy once before my fiance so I know I've not experienced as much as most.

Can anyone tell me what their experience has been or suggest books or guides to get reassurance or help decide whether to do it or not?

 

[jaandaj]

Everything you are feeling is natural. First advice is the two of you need to trust each other completely and talk through it all. Been married close to 30 years and shared the wife through all it. Hit me up with private message any time you want

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

My wife and I were in a very similar situation. After years of conversation, we decided she should try it one time and then we would see how we both felt afterwards. If either of us had concerns, we agreed to stop. She has now slept with over two dozen men and has enjoyed it immensely. We are currently on a break with her playing with others as she did develop some feelings for her last fwb.

You cannot remove all risk, but you can lay out ground rules and make sure you and your fiancé are on the same page. Best of luck! If your fiancé does want to share, doing it the right way will open up a whole new world.

 

[SmallHubbyTexas]

If you go on this journey, communication is key. You need to constantly talk to one another. If you don’t talk, things can get bad. When we started this, my wife and I talked a lot about our feelings, I did not ask about descriptions about what was going on. We talked, I knew she loved me and was enjoying herself. I loved her and I was happy she was having fun.

As for us, my wife has 3 boyfriends know and she loves them. I am ok with that, my wife is the type that she needs to have some feelings for the man to have sex with them.

As for watching you, watching as another man’s cock is sliding in and out of my wife is one of the best experiences I have had. I am mesmerized watching the action. My feelings are mixed. Yes I am jealous because another man has his cock in my wife, but I am also happy that she is enjoying a bigger cock then mine, sometimes 2 to 3 at the same time.

Overall we are both happy to be on this journey and we are closer than we were before. All it took was for my wife to have sex with other men and for me to trust her.

 

[jaandaj]

Find what works for you two!

Wife and I started with a guy we knew. Then went to strangers. There has been good experiences and bad. But like others say talk through them.
Unfortunately you are going to find some guys will say or do anything to sleep with a woman. You get better at weeding through the trash as u go. Trust your instincts! If something doesn't feel right with them don't do it!

You two set you some rules. Only change your rules if you both agree to. If the guys don't want to play by the rules then ditch them.

If you start with strangers, use a fake name. We all have done it. And a name isn't important. Tell them your keeping ur private life to yourself. They should except that and not push an issue.

Find you someone to talk to! It can be internet friend you will never meet but if you find a woman who has did this she will listen to your adventures and give legitimate advice when needed. It's important to vent, to each other, and sometimes another helpful person.
He can find on of us guys on here to talk to. Just don't take the bad advice some give. U know if it sounds bad it is!

Good luck and keep us all posted!

 

[Loridan]

Married 20+ years. Married at 30. Wife was divorced, 2 kids. All good.
She had some wild sex experiences after her divorce before I knew her.
Our sex life was good but got to be routine.
About 4 years ago we got into mfm fun with a guy we know, long boring story on how it started. First times were quick and very very awkward with a LOT of regrets. We, especially her were super horny for a good week after. Got easier and more fun after a few times.
We've done it with him many, many times. We're comfy and have fun. She can't get pregnant so we don't use condoms. Nothing crazy happens, we take turns doing her.
We did this with a stranger once, didn't go well. We hooked up with a couple once, was fun but only happened once.
Yes I have jealous feelings, yes it's strange in my head but seeing her get SO into the sex is such a turn on. She fucks us both and it's a hot night for us.
None of our friends know.

 

[CONST65]

My wife and I were in a very similar situation. After years of conversation, we decided she should try it one time and then we would see how we both felt afterwards. If either of us had concerns, we agreed to stop. She has now slept with over two dozen men and has enjoyed it immensely. We are currently on a break with her playing with others as she did develop some feelings for her last fwb.

You cannot remove all risk, but you can lay out ground rules and make sure you and your fiancé are on the same page. Best of luck! If your fiancé does want to share, doing it the right way will open up a whole new world.

Our story is not exact as this but very similar. WE taljed for a longtime about her being with another msn. So we.talked about how to.make it happen She got dressed up pretty extreme
We went to an.upscale lounge. She went in i went in later and sat a distance awzy
She sat at a hi stool very short skirt and did little open leg poses to attract.guys.A few huys did hit on.her ask.her to dance etc.One guy impressed her so.they sat together drank danced etc.. A couple of hours later she textedme i meet her in the hallway where no one saw us..she told me that she reallywanted this guy as rhey got along well.and he ask her to.go.to his room. She returned to.him.and they lefy for his room.She spent the night with him. The next day she told me that it was an unbelievable experience that started us into.the lifestyle that was 4 years ago and we have never looked back.she now has 3/4 regular giys that she fucks one of them.about every 4/5 weeks its been amazing for both of us ..

 

[droopy1]

It's good that you are asking so many questions. The two most important questions are about STDs and Pregnancy. If you decide to procede than to be safe you have to vet the person you are interested in. He or she should have recent medical proof that they are clean of all venereal disease. The person should also be trustworthy enough so that you are confident that they dont fool around promiscuously with others and contract something during their relationship with you. Maybe a trusted friend you've known for a long time is the best choice.The pregnancy issue is solved by going on the pill. You should be disciplined enough to take a simpe pill each day. Don't trust condoms if you are going to do a lot of hanky panky. The rest of your questions really only the two of you can answer. If you decide it's not for either one of you cool, live and learn and move on. If one of you loves it and can't live without it but the other hates it and says it must stop then your love for one another will be tested. It might mean that you don't marry and break up but at least you found out before tying the knot. It could also result in one of you going without this perk in a show of love if you stay together.

 

[Buddy60]

Our story is not exact as this but very similar. WE taljed for a longtime about her being with another msn. So we.talked about how to.make it happen She got dressed up pretty extreme
We went to an.upscale lounge. She went in i went in later and sat a distance awzy
She sat at a hi stool very short skirt and did little open leg poses to attract.guys.A few huys did hit on.her ask.her to dance etc.One guy impressed her so.they sat together drank danced etc.. A couple of hours later she textedme i meet her in the hallway where no one saw us..she told me that she reallywanted this guy as rhey got along well.and he ask her to.go.to his room. She returned to.him.and they lefy for his room.She spent the night with him. The next day she told me that it was an unbelievable experience that started us into.the lifestyle that was 4 years ago and we have never looked back.she now has 3/4 regular giys that she fucks one of them.about every 4/5 weeks its been amazing for both of us ..

Love your story. I would have loved to have more such relationships. But we moved often due to our work and it took a while to build relationship. She did go out and fuck a few men whom she made friends with but I was more reserved by jacked off to her details.

 

[CONST65]

Love your story. I would have loved to have more such relationships. But we moved often due to our work and it took a while to build relationship. She did go out and fuck a few men whom she made friends with but I was more reserved by jacked off to her details.

Great to.chat.with you feel.free to ask.me anything this story shr does this more than once she does this with her regulars to.keep.things spicy. Or for a one night pick up we even do.it as strangers .Like we don't know each other she plays hard to.get text messages etc.. Like honey im at xxx I meet a guy hes really cute . HE asked me to go.to.his room.i'll.see you in.the morning

 

[cuck52]

I'm looking for some advice, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post so sorry if it's not.

I'm not married but I've been with my fiance for 5 years and we're as good as married but without the certificate. It's mostly me who's put off marriage, I love my fiance to bits and we have started a family, it was just that my friends and family always said I fell in love and settled down too early. I agreed with my parents to not marry for at least one year and well, that just continued, we just never got around to walking down the isle. Actually we are thinking of doing that over the next year but that's unrelated to my questions here.

Around 5 months ago while in bed, my fiance was looking fidgity so I asked him what's wrong and he asked me if he could tell me a secret fantasy of his. I was happy for him to share but I was surprised to learn that he had a desire to share me with other men.

Honestly I didn't know what to make of it, I had assumed he'd be jealous about anything like that. I could see he was embarassed so I reassured him that I wasn't angry about it, just surprised. Actually, it was kind of sweet and I was just happy that he coule be honest with me. But I agreed to talk about it and role play it a little.

I see how much pleasure it brings him to talk about it and how excited he gets and if I'm honest, how excited I get as well. Obviously who wouldn't want to have the freedom to experience more and I can say that since then it has become more of a mutual fantasy. When we make love I do find myself imagining other men and I often find myself masturbating in the night playing some sordid fantasy in my mind.

I know my fiance would love to do it for real, he's said as much many times. We've talked about everything from sex clubs to dogging and glory holes. All very exciting fantasies but is it really a good idea to go from fantasy to reality?

There a different things holding me back.

- Will he enjoy watching me for real as much as he thinks he will? Will it cause problems later?
- What if I enjoy it too much? I know I have a good sex drive and really love oral sex and cum and I worry that I might enjoy the adventure too much and want it too often once I've sampled it.
- Is it safe? I know there's protection but what if I'm not disciplined enough to always use protection?
- What if we're found out, by friends or family?
- What if we have some angry wife knocking on the door if I'm playing with married men?
- How will I feel about my fiance being with other women, if that was to happen? I'm bi-curious myself and do like the idea of being with a woman from time to time, if that included my fiance, how would I feel? I really don't know. I may be excited or I might be jealous.
- What if I develop feelings for other men?
- Is it something to experience before we marry or wait until after or doesn't the timing really matter or is it something that can be made part of the wedding experience?
- What if we wanted to have a bigger family and I'm enjoying the lifestyle too much, could that cause complications? What if I became pregnant from someone else while playing around? I could never terminate so any guy would need to accept the risk, even if small.

I think I'm nervous because I do like the idea and because my fantasies have only become more wild. I worry that once I've dipped my toes into the lifestyle for real, it might consume me too much or cause problems later. I only slept with one guy once before my fiance so I know I've not experienced as much as most.

Can anyone tell me what their experience has been or suggest books or guides to get reassurance or help decide whether to do it or not?

My wife told me on our first date she needed a boyfriend that would be faithful to her while she fucked other men with large cocks whenever she wanted

 

[dickhurtz]

OP was only on here for 1 day.

 

[YourNewBull]

OP was only on here for 1 day.

Exactly. I was 4 lines in and thought "hmm this sounds fake."