Not cucked yet but my wife has a crush

[Tabooga]

Actually, I think she has had a crush for longer than she admits. My wife and I have been married 4.5 years now and she recently told me that she thinks about this guy sometimes when we have sex or she plays with a toy. My wife is a few years younger than I am. We have a active and I think good sex life aside from the recent admission that she thinks of this guy. I'm sorry if this is rambling and long but to fully understand there is a good deal of information. When My wife was 14, she started baby sitting for a friend of her mom's who had 5 year old son. My wife is still a good friends with the Mom of the then 5 year old. The 5 year old is now a grown man and has an oil field job that requires long hours of very physical labor. The guy is in good shape. It is this guy that my wife has recently stated that she thinks about during sex. My wife and I stopped by her friend's house (this guy's mom) and He was there briefly. Might be just because I now know that she crushes on him but My wife seemed turned on and spent a little too long in the hug when he hugged her hello. He left shortly after we got to his mom's. We had a nice visit but His mom said something that sticks with me . She told my wife that when her son was about 12 or 13... she learned that he had a huge crush on my wife who was by then hitting her 20s. The Mom had this slight grin and a mischievous sparkle about her. I could not help but think this woman somehow knew my wife has a crush on her son.
I have been very upset. I know that this could end with my wife checking and me being unknowingly cucked. It might be something that neither of them act on. I have thought about what I would do if they do act on it. I don't think that I would be happy if they had an affair behind my back but I know that I would not want a divorce. One part of me recognizes that right now it is a fantasy and fantasies seldom play out as exciting and as fun in real life as they do in one's head. So I could just roll with it, accept that they are attracted to each other and likely to hook up and be a some what willing cuck . This could let them get it out of their system...but I just don't know. I know that I love my wife and I know my wife loves me.

 

[free2fli]

Interesting. You are on a site where guys want their wives to have sex with other men. So the question is “do you want her to get fucked by another guy?” If the answer is No, then the advice you get here will not cheer you up. If the answer is Yes, then someone will reply “ can you post a photo of your wife?”

 

[Tabooga]

I know I am on a site where guys want their wife to have sex with others. Maybe it isn't the correct place. But maybe it is. I doubt everyone here started out wanting the wife to screw around. Also I am trying to wrap my head around acceptance...because if she is crushing on him and he is still crushing on her..It is likely to happen. I'm trying to decide is it better to be a cuck knowingly or unknowingly. I would think people here might have insight. Either way, at this point, the only person likely to get my wife is a kid she used to baby sit 10 years ago...so what she looks like is not important.

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

If your marriage is not strong, IMO this could lead to disaster (i.e. divorce).
The best thing you could do is discuss it with her. See where the conversation leads. If you can not communicate well as a couple or have a strong relationship, this probably isn’t for you.
If you want her to try hotwifing, you better have a set of similar expectations, otherwise it will lead to heartache. In other words, Communicate, communicate, communicate!
With respect to your knowing or not knowing is discussed above. Final words: not knowing takes away any and all of your agency and say in the matter.

 

[Tabooga]

Thank you for the advice. I agree that communication is the key (like in most things in life) and the not knowing removes agency or say in the matter. I am not interest in divorce for any reason but I do worry that this crush might lead to emotional connection which I think would be difficult for her to have an emotional connection to both of us. I've been reading alot here and it seems like the ones making it work are the ones who it really is just a sex thing. I don't know if it is all about sex with her crush on him. Need to find out.

 

[free2fli]

I read your initial post again. The words that jumped out at me are “...she recently told me that she thinks about this guy sometimes when we have sex or plays with a toy.” To me that means you are discussing her sexual desires. I also think a lot was left out of the post about how this even came up - and your response.
For me , I like it when we talk and the wife tells me about guys she might want to suck or fuck. And past adventures - with or without my knowledge - are a turn on.
If you are not in the group of guys that enjoy the thought of your wife with another guy for whatever reasons ( jealously, insecurity , fear of loss) then the thoughts of her with the guy will always be painful.
Do not confuse communication with confrontation. Most women do not want to expose their darkest sexual fantasies, plans, and triggers to a husband. We are all entitled to our private thoughts. But if you are both turned on by the conversation, then do it.
It does not seem like she is planning to meet this guy on her own. Everything in your post sounds like you are engaged in the process. Otherwise you would not be talking about it together and visiting the friend together.
Read the other posts here. Sharing your wife is fun.

 

[jw_kk]

Has it occurred to you that your wife may already have seduced, and fucked him? The mother's comments are telling - it isn't all that surprising for a twenty-something young woman to seduce and fuck a teen male.

 

[Tabooga]

If that happened , it only makes it more likely that her admitting that she thinks of him sometimes during sex or playing with a toy means that she is thinking or even likely to do it again now. If she did it when she was 20s and he was a teen, that is before we married but... it is possible her fantasy is to revisit the past? Actually if she has not done it, It would be easier for me to say " oh well let her get it out of her system" but if she did it back then and is revisiting old times it might be a little more difficult to accept. I will talk to her about it.

 

[jw_kk]

When KK was home for the summer after our freshman semester in college, she was doing a combination of jobs cashiering at a grocery store, and babysitting in the evenings for kids in her neighborhood.

She got hired for a sitting job that amounted to a steady gig, one evening a week, watching over a young man while his single mother was attending night class. I say ‘young man’ - he was really too old to need a sitter, but his mother was very doting and conservative, and wouldn’t leave her son home alone.

Long story short, KK ended up seducing the young man, and fucked him several times before we returned to classes in the fall. I had no idea at the time, it was a dark secret, and supposed to remain that way.

About two years after KK and I got married, we were visiting her family in the old neighborhood during the holidays. KK happened to run across the kid, now a young adult, and ended up fucking him in her car (the first time they hooked up on that visit), and at least twice more in a secluded spot in the nearby neighborhood park. She ended up confessing to the encounter a few weeks later, during an argument - she intended the confession to be hurtful, a ‘weapon’ but it backfired. Instead it made me horny, and I begged her for more detail, which I got snippets of while reclaiming her after the argument.

So that encounter wasn’t planned, KK just took advantage of an opportunity for sex, and revisiting the past by reliving fucking that guy. Had we not argued, I might never have found out about it.

It sounds like in your case, there is a distinct possibility your wife may have been with this young man before, and it sounds like she’s definitely thinking about him in a sexual context now.

 

[calamarito]

As pointed out, if she told you about the fantasy then she does not wanna do anything on your back. Did she admit it like someone who admits a mistake or like someone who wanna talk about it?