Probably the end of our cuckold journey that never even started

[Distraction79]

For years I am deeply interested in cuckolding. Not to the point where I am absolutly sure that I need this in my real life, but this interest or preference never left me.
My wife, very early on, told me that she is not in any way interested in cuckolding, the idea of another man who is not me is nothing she feels comfortable with ever.
Yesterday we watched a porn movie together, it was her first time and when we were on holiday and had great sex on the beach and were like sexual beings for a few hours, she told me that she regrets never having seen a porn movie and that she wants me to show some to her, with cuckold theme.
So I searched long and hard, in the end it boiled down to a movie from eva elfie in a hotel room with her guy and a stranger. It featured everything, a very slow starts, lots of kisses and love for the partner, lots of involvment with the partner, a 3. who is respectful and doesn't steel the show and who leaves afterwards, then cleanup and reclaim.
For me it had all the different aspects that I fantasize about, presented in a way that was not repulsive for non-porn-watchers.
It started, she mentioned directly how big her partner is, and that she sucks for idk 10min, my wife said she must have some practice because it's actually exhausting.
But there was no spark for her, she didn't get wet.
Then the other guy came, so far so good, but then she swallowed the cum, showed it to him and then went to her partner, blew him, then kissed him.
My wife made sounds like she is puking, she said she was so close to run to the toilet.

After that I forwarded to the key elements of that, she acknowledged it, but was not interested, creampie was also something that made her sick and her partner licking it up was something she didn't want to watch for more than a few seconds.
Afterwards she could understand even less what I like about that. I told her that I like when she is on top of me and then tells me about "the other guy", and she acknowledged that she likes that, because she loves that this has so much power over me and that she could turn me on in seconds with that, but it's not about her really liking it, or pursuing it or anything.

We had so much risky sex in our vacation times, we fucked on the grass of the vacation home at 11pm, we fucked in the beach chair (Strandkorb for germans), took a few bootles of wine out there and fucked when no one was at the beach. She even told me that she would like to see a voyeur, watching us, wanking. She would put on a show for him, with me ... but not the other way around.

So I guess from the standpoint of cuckolding we are at a dead end here. Her first "no" still stands, even after 14 years. She won't cuck me, she won't make me reclaim her, she won't make me clean her.
Idk how to feel about this. Cuckolding was never more important that my marriage, it just comes back like a boomerang all the time.
Maybe better focus on a bit risky outdoor sex, like getting her off in a chair next to the pool in the night on crete with my fingers, this made her so desperate to fuck me that we had sex for half an hour with breaks, restarting everytime after a few minutes of catching breath, we could not keep our hands to ourselfs.

 

[SimonWolf]

For years I am deeply interested in cuckolding. Not to the point where I am absolutly sure that I need this in my real life, but this interest or preference never left me.
My wife, very early on, told me that she is not in any way interested in cuckolding, the idea of another man who is not me is nothing she feels comfortable with ever.
Yesterday we watched a porn movie together, it was her first time and when we were on holiday and had great sex on the beach and were like sexual beings for a few hours, she told me that she regrets never having seen a porn movie and that she wants me to show some to her, with cuckold theme.
So I searched long and hard, in the end it boiled down to a movie from eva elfie in a hotel room with her guy and a stranger. It featured everything, a very slow starts, lots of kisses and love for the partner, lots of involvment with the partner, a 3. who is respectful and doesn't steel the show and who leaves afterwards, then cleanup and reclaim.
For me it had all the different aspects that I fantasize about, presented in a way that was not repulsive for non-porn-watchers.
It started, she mentioned directly how big her partner is, and that she sucks for idk 10min, my wife said she must have some practice because it's actually exhausting.
But there was no spark for her, she didn't get wet.
Then the other guy came, so far so good, but then she swallowed the cum, showed it to him and then went to her partner, blew him, then kissed him.
My wife made sounds like she is puking, she said she was so close to run to the toilet.

After that I forwarded to the key elements of that, she acknowledged it, but was not interested, creampie was also something that made her sick and her partner licking it up was something she didn't want to watch for more than a few seconds.
Afterwards she could understand even less what I like about that. I told her that I like when she is on top of me and then tells me about "the other guy", and she acknowledged that she likes that, because she loves that this has so much power over me and that she could turn me on in seconds with that, but it's not about her really liking it, or pursuing it or anything.

We had so much risky sex in our vacation times, we fucked on the grass of the vacation home at 11pm, we fucked in the beach chair (Strandkorb for germans), took a few bootles of wine out there and fucked when no one was at the beach. She even told me that she would like to see a voyeur, watching us, wanking. She would put on a show for him, with me ... but not the other way around.

So I guess from the standpoint of cuckolding we are at a dead end here. Her first "no" still stands, even after 14 years. She won't cuck me, she won't make me reclaim her, she won't make me clean her.
Idk how to feel about this. Cuckolding was never more important that my marriage, it just comes back like a boomerang all the time.
Maybe better focus on a bit risky outdoor sex, like getting her off in a chair next to the pool in the night on crete with my fingers, this made her so desperate to fuck me that we had sex for half an hour with breaks, restarting everytime after a few minutes of catching breath, we could not keep our hands to ourselfs.

you should try a nudist beach or camping, doing some outdoor sex with a good chance to have someone watching you, if you are lucky you can ask her to just jerk off the guy watching you and who knows maybe will be the key to unlock something in her

 

[Distraction79]

you should try a nudist beach or camping, doing some outdoor sex with a good chance to have someone watching you, if you are lucky you can ask her to just jerk off the guy watching you and who knows maybe will be the key to unlock something in her

Yeah, maybe, but this will be years to come. Maybe when the s o n has left to university ^^

This forum as a weird rude-word-detection

 

[SimonWolf]

Yeah, maybe, but this will be years to come. Maybe when the s o n has left to university ^^

This forum as a weird rude-word-detection

There's always time to rekindle the spark 😉

 

[NoSinner]

For years I am deeply interested in cuckolding. Not to the point where I am absolutly sure that I need this in my real life, but this interest or preference never left me.
My wife, very early on, told me that she is not in any way interested in cuckolding, the idea of another man who is not me is nothing she feels comfortable with ever.
Yesterday we watched a porn movie together, it was her first time and when we were on holiday and had great sex on the beach and were like sexual beings for a few hours, she told me that she regrets never having seen a porn movie and that she wants me to show some to her, with cuckold theme.
So I searched long and hard, in the end it boiled down to a movie from eva elfie in a hotel room with her guy and a stranger. It featured everything, a very slow starts, lots of kisses and love for the partner, lots of involvment with the partner, a 3. who is respectful and doesn't steel the show and who leaves afterwards, then cleanup and reclaim.
For me it had all the different aspects that I fantasize about, presented in a way that was not repulsive for non-porn-watchers.
It started, she mentioned directly how big her partner is, and that she sucks for idk 10min, my wife said she must have some practice because it's actually exhausting.
But there was no spark for her, she didn't get wet.
Then the other guy came, so far so good, but then she swallowed the cum, showed it to him and then went to her partner, blew him, then kissed him.
My wife made sounds like she is puking, she said she was so close to run to the toilet.

After that I forwarded to the key elements of that, she acknowledged it, but was not interested, creampie was also something that made her sick and her partner licking it up was something she didn't want to watch for more than a few seconds.
Afterwards she could understand even less what I like about that. I told her that I like when she is on top of me and then tells me about "the other guy", and she acknowledged that she likes that, because she loves that this has so much power over me and that she could turn me on in seconds with that, but it's not about her really liking it, or pursuing it or anything.

We had so much risky sex in our vacation times, we fucked on the grass of the vacation home at 11pm, we fucked in the beach chair (Strandkorb for germans), took a few bootles of wine out there and fucked when no one was at the beach. She even told me that she would like to see a voyeur, watching us, wanking. She would put on a show for him, with me ... but not the other way around.

So I guess from the standpoint of cuckolding we are at a dead end here. Her first "no" still stands, even after 14 years. She won't cuck me, she won't make me reclaim her, she won't make me clean her.
Idk how to feel about this. Cuckolding was never more important that my marriage, it just comes back like a boomerang all the time.
Maybe better focus on a bit risky outdoor sex, like getting her off in a chair next to the pool in the night on crete with my fingers, this made her so desperate to fuck me that we had sex for half an hour with breaks, restarting everytime after a few minutes of catching breath, we could not keep our hands to ourselfs.

I think what you shared shows something truly valuable: after so many years, your wife, on her own initiative, wanted to step into something that matters to you. Even if the immediate result wasn’t what you hoped for, that gesture alone is already a big step. It’s not the same when we insist, as when the other person pauses and says, “I want to try this for you.”

That said, I believe many times what we men find fascinating in certain cuckold porn movies, doesn’t necessarily connect the same way with a feminine perspective. And that’s where an opportunity may lie: instead of seeing this as “we tried and it didn’t work,” maybe it’s about reframing it from another angle.

In other words, asking: what is it in the female psychology that could make the cuckold or hotwife lifestyle appealing? Perhaps the key isn’t only to show her your all-time favorite movie with your favorite actress , but to find a material with a more feminine focus, or even a book that touches the same themes with a different sensitivity—that could give her another point of entry. That can create not only understanding, but even curiosity.

This way, it’s not just about sharing what excites you, but about discovering together which elements might resonate with her. And even if she never fully connects with it, the experience stops being a frustrated attempt and becomes a dialogue where both of you acknowledge how you each experience things from your own angle.

 

[Yakamoz]

You want to know your mistake? I think you choose the wrong movie, really. It was just to much for her first porn movie and cuckold. You should have let her enjoy the mmf action first, or just the cuck watching, its fine but to much with cum cleaning etc.

I really like marc dorcell theme movies, big producer of swingers and cuckolds.

Let her see spme swinging action first, some classy movie i hope you het what I mean. Just look for marc dorcell and try it again. You can reward me with some nudes afterwards. Kidding tho but still very welcome!

 

[Neverwas7776]

Hey...your wife sounds sexually adventurous, and generally pretty fantastic. You're a lucky guy.

 

[Myprobe1991]

Y'all know that not all women are going to be into this lifestyle right? Unfortunately, some couples kinks don't match. It happens.
If she is interested in the "talk" but not the walk, then enjoy the fantasy. But always remember even if she talks about it during sex and it seems like she is interested, odds are she is just role playing and still has noninterest is seeing her husband suck the cum out of her.

 

[drakebelg]

Lol. That you showed her the whole cleanup stuff and all that was not the way to go.

A scene where a wife has great sex while the husband watches without humiliation might have been better.

Cuckolding is first and foremost about the wife's pleasures.

 

[Donaldtrumps]

Hi, I stumbled across this site and everything is the same in my life. Ive always been sexually adventurous and my wife from her uni days was always curious. we have 4 nearly adult children and sex life has changed. i'm disabled now and struggle in the bedroom. we have 100% trust in each other but i cant convince her to try a cuckolding session once. i can make her cum 6 or 7 times in bed by using aids but she wont watch porn or even contemplate someone watching. I'm bicurious and i think she is but she wont admit it. I think its just gonna be a thing that isnt gonna happen

 

[andysmith]

showing her a movie with all the vile cum swapping and cream pie stuff was a massive mistake! Anyway, seems like she was fun doing to outside sexand being happy to be seen. Capitalize on that

 

[TemptinShadows]

For years I am deeply interested in cuckolding. Not to the point where I am absolutly sure that I need this in my real life, but this interest or preference never left me.
My wife, very early on, told me that she is not in any way interested in cuckolding, the idea of another man who is not me is nothing she feels comfortable with ever.
Yesterday we watched a porn movie together, it was her first time and when we were on holiday and had great sex on the beach and were like sexual beings for a few hours, she told me that she regrets never having seen a porn movie and that she wants me to show some to her, with cuckold theme.
So I searched long and hard, in the end it boiled down to a movie from eva elfie in a hotel room with her guy and a stranger. It featured everything, a very slow starts, lots of kisses and love for the partner, lots of involvment with the partner, a 3. who is respectful and doesn't steel the show and who leaves afterwards, then cleanup and reclaim.
For me it had all the different aspects that I fantasize about, presented in a way that was not repulsive for non-porn-watchers.
It started, she mentioned directly how big her partner is, and that she sucks for idk 10min, my wife said she must have some practice because it's actually exhausting.
But there was no spark for her, she didn't get wet.
Then the other guy came, so far so good, but then she swallowed the cum, showed it to him and then went to her partner, blew him, then kissed him.
My wife made sounds like she is puking, she said she was so close to run to the toilet.

After that I forwarded to the key elements of that, she acknowledged it, but was not interested, creampie was also something that made her sick and her partner licking it up was something she didn't want to watch for more than a few seconds.
Afterwards she could understand even less what I like about that. I told her that I like when she is on top of me and then tells me about "the other guy", and she acknowledged that she likes that, because she loves that this has so much power over me and that she could turn me on in seconds with that, but it's not about her really liking it, or pursuing it or anything.

We had so much risky sex in our vacation times, we fucked on the grass of the vacation home at 11pm, we fucked in the beach chair (Strandkorb for germans), took a few bootles of wine out there and fucked when no one was at the beach. She even told me that she would like to see a voyeur, watching us, wanking. She would put on a show for him, with me ... but not the other way around.

So I guess from the standpoint of cuckolding we are at a dead end here. Her first "no" still stands, even after 14 years. She won't cuck me, she won't make me reclaim her, she won't make me clean her.
Idk how to feel about this. Cuckolding was never more important that my marriage, it just comes back like a boomerang all the time.
Maybe better focus on a bit risky outdoor sex, like getting her off in a chair next to the pool in the night on crete with my fingers, this made her so desperate to fuck me that we had sex for half an hour with breaks, restarting everytime after a few minutes of catching breath, we could not keep our hands to ourselfs.

For years I am deeply interested in cuckolding. Not to the point where I am absolutly sure that I need this in my real life, but this interest or preference never left me.
My wife, very early on, told me that she is not in any way interested in cuckolding, the idea of another man who is not me is nothing she feels comfortable with ever.
Yesterday we watched a porn movie together, it was her first time and when we were on holiday and had great sex on the beach and were like sexual beings for a few hours, she told me that she regrets never having seen a porn movie and that she wants me to show some to her, with cuckold theme.
So I searched long and hard, in the end it boiled down to a movie from eva elfie in a hotel room with her guy and a stranger. It featured everything, a very slow starts, lots of kisses and love for the partner, lots of involvment with the partner, a 3. who is respectful and doesn't steel the show and who leaves afterwards, then cleanup and reclaim.
For me it had all the different aspects that I fantasize about, presented in a way that was not repulsive for non-porn-watchers.
It started, she mentioned directly how big her partner is, and that she sucks for idk 10min, my wife said she must have some practice because it's actually exhausting.
But there was no spark for her, she didn't get wet.
Then the other guy came, so far so good, but then she swallowed the cum, showed it to him and then went to her partner, blew him, then kissed him.
My wife made sounds like she is puking, she said she was so close to run to the toilet.

After that I forwarded to the key elements of that, she acknowledged it, but was not interested, creampie was also something that made her sick and her partner licking it up was something she didn't want to watch for more than a few seconds.
Afterwards she could understand even less what I like about that. I told her that I like when she is on top of me and then tells me about "the other guy", and she acknowledged that she likes that, because she loves that this has so much power over me and that she could turn me on in seconds with that, but it's not about her really liking it, or pursuing it or anything.

We had so much risky sex in our vacation times, we fucked on the grass of the vacation home at 11pm, we fucked in the beach chair (Strandkorb for germans), took a few bootles of wine out there and fucked when no one was at the beach. She even told me that she would like to see a voyeur, watching us, wanking. She would put on a show for him, with me ... but not the other way around.

So I guess from the standpoint of cuckolding we are at a dead end here. Her first "no" still stands, even after 14 years. She won't cuck me, she won't make me reclaim her, she won't make me clean her.
Idk how to feel about this. Cuckolding was never more important that my marriage, it just comes back like a boomerang all the time.
Maybe better focus on a bit risky outdoor sex, like getting her off in a chair next to the pool in the night on crete with my fingers, this made her so desperate to fuck me that we had sex for half an hour with breaks, restarting everytime after a few minutes of catching breath, we could not keep our hands to ourselfs.

I think where it went "wrong" is the "disgusting" parts of the porn movie. I would go for other more stylish movies like by French Dorcel productions. She does have interest to get into it with YOU. Treat this as a gift which may later evolve into more... My wife who used to be very conservative is opening up to the sharing world, very very slowly. During our past holidays, she challenged me - a bit in anger - when I didn't care other people seeing us kissing and heating each other up. So she started going further as I uncovered her breasts and a little bit her cute butt. Now we talk about how she finds someone's body cute & sexy which she, by education, would never have admitted before... and we talk about our fantasies a lot too.

I think you might want to consider the Stag/Vixen theme which I believe your wife would find more attractive as she wants to be with you at all times and not regard you as a cuck... Play perhaps with that angle for a while, try to arrange something at bar, jazzclub or whatever suits your lifestyle and she how she reacts.

Every little step is part of the longer journey... I am saying this as a Stag who first got introduced into this realm 20y ago by my ex (now a very good friend of mine - and yes, nothing more than that).

 

[TemptinShadows]

You want to know your mistake? I think you choose the wrong movie, really. It was just to much for her first porn movie and cuckold. You should have let her enjoy the mmf action first, or just the cuck watching, its fine but to much with cum cleaning etc.

I really like marc dorcell theme movies, big producer of swingers and cuckolds.

Let her see spme swinging action first, some classy movie i hope you het what I mean. Just look for marc dorcell and try it again. You can reward me with some nudes afterwards. Kidding tho but still very welcome!

Just seeing your reply and realizing you were write the exact same answer... Great minds think alike 😀

 

[lovethefilly]

For years I am deeply interested in cuckolding. Not to the point where I am absolutly sure that I need this in my real life, but this interest or preference never left me.
My wife, very early on, told me that she is not in any way interested in cuckolding, the idea of another man who is not me is nothing she feels comfortable with ever.
Yesterday we watched a porn movie together, it was her first time and when we were on holiday and had great sex on the beach and were like sexual beings for a few hours, she told me that she regrets never having seen a porn movie and that she wants me to show some to her, with cuckold theme.
So I searched long and hard, in the end it boiled down to a movie from eva elfie in a hotel room with her guy and a stranger. It featured everything, a very slow starts, lots of kisses and love for the partner, lots of involvment with the partner, a 3. who is respectful and doesn't steel the show and who leaves afterwards, then cleanup and reclaim.
For me it had all the different aspects that I fantasize about, presented in a way that was not repulsive for non-porn-watchers.
It started, she mentioned directly how big her partner is, and that she sucks for idk 10min, my wife said she must have some practice because it's actually exhausting.
But there was no spark for her, she didn't get wet.
Then the other guy came, so far so good, but then she swallowed the cum, showed it to him and then went to her partner, blew him, then kissed him.
My wife made sounds like she is puking, she said she was so close to run to the toilet.

After that I forwarded to the key elements of that, she acknowledged it, but was not interested, creampie was also something that made her sick and her partner licking it up was something she didn't want to watch for more than a few seconds.
Afterwards she could understand even less what I like about that. I told her that I like when she is on top of me and then tells me about "the other guy", and she acknowledged that she likes that, because she loves that this has so much power over me and that she could turn me on in seconds with that, but it's not about her really liking it, or pursuing it or anything.

We had so much risky sex in our vacation times, we fucked on the grass of the vacation home at 11pm, we fucked in the beach chair (Strandkorb for germans), took a few bootles of wine out there and fucked when no one was at the beach. She even told me that she would like to see a voyeur, watching us, wanking. She would put on a show for him, with me ... but not the other way around.

So I guess from the standpoint of cuckolding we are at a dead end here. Her first "no" still stands, even after 14 years. She won't cuck me, she won't make me reclaim her, she won't make me clean her.
Idk how to feel about this. Cuckolding was never more important that my marriage, it just comes back like a boomerang all the time.
Maybe better focus on a bit risky outdoor sex, like getting her off in a chair next to the pool in the night on crete with my fingers, this made her so desperate to fuck me that we had sex for half an hour with breaks, restarting everytime after a few minutes of catching breath, we could not keep our hands to ourselfs.

Hey. If you want help just DM me. Maybe we could find a solution.

 

[JMNBABE]

Guess I am the odd man out here, but I would KNOW well before anyone bacame my wife (hell, girlfriend even) whether she liked to suck cock and swallow, and how she felt about me cumming in her and continuing to play afterwards..........and if she did NOT like those things, I moved on. I would NEVER consider marrying a woman without knowing these things first. CW

 

[Stevens4fun]

JMN gets it right. If you got married knowing you wanted extra-marital sex for her, but didn't share that with her before the wedding, there's a breach of trust in play. At least your wife asked you to show her a porno vid! Some wives won't even look at porno vids. By now, she's sick of the pressure and is probably growing resentful so it might be a good time to end the campaign and be happy with what you have. You can come here and live vicariously through all of us porno freaks. If you ever do get the chance to show her a racy vid again, choose a more mainstream vid would be my suggestion. People in her can suggest a nice list of more mainstream movies where there's a cuckolding scenario taking place as well as some romantic involvement between the players. I'd suggest "Indecent Proposal."

It's a huge emotional step for our wives to bring another man into our marriages and we should always keep that in mind, as well as the fact that if she does so, it's not going to be a one-off without impact on our marital relationship. Adding a person to the marital bed will impact your lifestyle and your relaltionship with your wife, especially if she likes it - it takes creativity, time, and sometimes emotional commitment to pull it off. Doesn't hurt to have money as well, - if hotels, travel, and dining out come into play. Does the wife have the time to play?

 

[Distraction79]

Has anyone commenting here actually read what I wrote down, or read in other threads where I talked about our past?

You are really quick on making assumptions
If I could close this topic I would do it, if I could delete it, even better.

I didn't chose wrong
I told my girlfriend after 2W of relationship that I have a cuckold fetish and she told me she doesn't want that.
And I still chose here, and I would still choose here AT ANY DAY, even if I don't get my fetish for even one day of my life!
And No, I don't want to DM anyone of you about that.

Thanks to @Myprobe1991 and a few others. Fantasy is nice and yes, I am lucky to be with her

At the rest, please just let this thread die, or if any admin reads this ... please close or archive or anything.

 

[30yrinfatu]

For years I am deeply interested in cuckolding. Not to the point where I am absolutly sure that I need this in my real life, but this interest or preference never left me.
My wife, very early on, told me that she is not in any way interested in cuckolding, the idea of another man who is not me is nothing she feels comfortable with ever.
Yesterday we watched a porn movie together, it was her first time and when we were on holiday and had great sex on the beach and were like sexual beings for a few hours, she told me that she regrets never having seen a porn movie and that she wants me to show some to her, with cuckold theme.
So I searched long and hard, in the end it boiled down to a movie from eva elfie in a hotel room with her guy and a stranger. It featured everything, a very slow starts, lots of kisses and love for the partner, lots of involvment with the partner, a 3. who is respectful and doesn't steel the show and who leaves afterwards, then cleanup and reclaim.
For me it had all the different aspects that I fantasize about, presented in a way that was not repulsive for non-porn-watchers.
It started, she mentioned directly how big her partner is, and that she sucks for idk 10min, my wife said she must have some practice because it's actually exhausting.
But there was no spark for her, she didn't get wet.
Then the other guy came, so far so good, but then she swallowed the cum, showed it to him and then went to her partner, blew him, then kissed him.
My wife made sounds like she is puking, she said she was so close to run to the toilet.

After that I forwarded to the key elements of that, she acknowledged it, but was not interested, creampie was also something that made her sick and her partner licking it up was something she didn't want to watch for more than a few seconds.
Afterwards she could understand even less what I like about that. I told her that I like when she is on top of me and then tells me about "the other guy", and she acknowledged that she likes that, because she loves that this has so much power over me and that she could turn me on in seconds with that, but it's not about her really liking it, or pursuing it or anything.

We had so much risky sex in our vacation times, we fucked on the grass of the vacation home at 11pm, we fucked in the beach chair (Strandkorb for germans), took a few bootles of wine out there and fucked when no one was at the beach. She even told me that she would like to see a voyeur, watching us, wanking. She would put on a show for him, with me ... but not the other way around.

So I guess from the standpoint of cuckolding we are at a dead end here. Her first "no" still stands, even after 14 years. She won't cuck me, she won't make me reclaim her, she won't make me clean her.
Idk how to feel about this. Cuckolding was never more important that my marriage, it just comes back like a boomerang all the time.
Maybe better focus on a bit risky outdoor sex, like getting her off in a chair next to the pool in the night on crete with my fingers, this made her so desperate to fuck me that we had sex for half an hour with breaks, restarting everytime after a few minutes of catching breath, we could not keep our hands to ourselfs.

I think it is awesome that you did not get so frustrated that you withdrawal from trying new things with her. It shows commitment to the marriage.
I have a very similar story with my wife. Our first 3 or 4 years were great for sex but then it dropped off. I was not ok with it and got really passive aggressive. I had a little 3 month long fling. I ended it because the lady demanded more time with me and I realized it was not sustainable to have a mistress because really every second I spent with her was time I was stealing from my family.
In hind site maybe I should not have told my wife about it. But when I told her she smiled and shook her head and said “your such a screw up. The only thing else she ever said was the next day she said well I guess
I get to have an affair sometime. I said yes I agree.
I started to watch internet porn once in a while but masturbating alway made me feel more alone. I am a health care professional and studied human behavior. We learned that everyone has a basic need to be acknowledged as a sexual being. No one will die if they do not have this but they will likely be depressed.
My wife is completely internally driven to be successful and needs no affirmations from me. She was a state champion in track and field in High school and college and a marathon and ultra marathon runners for years. Her self discipline and success made her irresistible to me. I liked that she was goal driven and her attitude with me was you can come along if you want.
My first wife had a mental illness but did not want treatment. She was clingy to the point of being abusive and picked fights about nothing because she craved the interactions, bad attention was better than no attention. I was In in my 20’s and could not pursue any of my aspirations because she needed me to be with her every second of the day when I wasn’t working. She came to my work and honed her way into my relationships and when I tried to do things with groups of guys she would make me take her with and would not stop talking so that she was the center of attention. She would say suggestive things so that guys thought that they could easily have sex and the only thing barrier was that she was with me.
When I started dating her in high school and was not mature about relationships and I am ashamed to say that I had a reputation as just wanting sex because I would try to get in their pants as quickly as possible. So I was actually trying to change and decided I would try and have a girl friend like a normal kid.
So she was a girl that really wanted attention and I thought I was being a nice guy her boyfriend because she was a little socially awkward. It was like I was the cool guy being nice to this kind of goofy girl.
Of course I still had the preoccupation with sex and parked to seduce her. And she gladly gave me a mind blowing blow job and swallowed every drop. I said my god you are so good at that. She said “well I did it before with guys” It made me jealous at first but I worked through it and then it made me horny to think about guys taking advantage of her vulnerability and teaching her to give them a blow job. Looking back I thing the school jocks passed her around, that is when I started the cuckold fascination.
We never did it but looking back on it, I missed a lot of cues by guys and couples that wanted to play
With us before I knew what that was.
I had this biker friend that invited me to hang and of course she had to hone in and showed up. She had big tits and a nice smile but seemed to missed cues that we were the guys and maybe she should leave. So we got her ...... and played cards and striped her down to her bra and underwear. So my friend said “so what do think, do you want to run a train?” I did not even know that was a thing and thought I was a complete sexual deviant for even thinking about it. It also made me feel uneasy that this Alfa male was seducing her in front of me and I had too much pride to not assert myself.

In hindsite, her obvious cravings for attention and her awkwardness coupled with her body made her the perfect gang bang fantasy,
My friend knew from things I told him that I felt smothered and he saw the way she invited herself along.

Also in hind site I now think she could turn up the volume on the vulnerable girl who you could easily take advantage of narrative on purpose. She giggled and made some suggestive double entendres that were hard to miss. whenever she wanted. who you could easily take advantage othought it sounded like he was asking if would you mind if I took advantage of
continues came up with what I thought was a brilliant solution. I thought I should find a married guy around my age to jack off to pictures of our wives. I have been looking for someone to do this with for like 15 years and have not found anyone.
My perspective was that guys have different perspectives then women and They will never get why men are

Has anyone commenting here actually read what I wrote down, or read in other threads where I talked about our past?

You are really quick on making assumptions
If I could close this topic I would do it, if I could delete it, even better.

I didn't chose wrong
I told my girlfriend after 2W of relationship that I have a cuckold fetish and she told me she doesn't want that.
And I still chose here, and I would still choose here AT ANY DAY, even if I don't get my fetish for even one day of my life!
And No, I don't want to DM anyone of you about that.

Thanks to @Myprobe1991 and a few others. Fantasy is nice and yes, I am lucky to be with her

At the rest, please just let this thread die, or if any admin reads this ... please close or archive or anything.

Has anyone commenting here actually read what I wrote down, or read in other threads where I talked about our past?

You are really quick on making assumptions
If I could close this topic I would do it, if I could delete it, even better.

I didn't chose wrong
I told my girlfriend after 2W of relationship that I have a cuckold fetish and she told me she doesn't want that.
And I still chose here, and I would still choose here AT ANY DAY, even if I don't get my fetish for even one day of my life!
And No, I don't want to DM anyone of you about that.

Thanks to @Myprobe1991 and a few others. Fantasy is nice and yes, I am lucky to be with hert

At the rest, please just let this thread die, or if any admin reads this ... please close or archive or anything.

I am so frustrated with this forum, I am very chatty in here and when I read your story and saw that you also write very thoughtfully, I wanted to share things about myself that are similare and how I chose to deal with it. Unfortunately I keep accidentally hitting something on the touchscreen that shuts the window. When I find it it’s read only so I assume I hit send by accident. So Then it pops up when I am not even looking for it and it allows editing again. So this happened multiple times. It happened again as I write this. Hopefully I will able to bring both of these replies to closure.