Should I be convincing her to blow another guy instead of fucking one?

I take 1 step forward and 10 steps back. My very reserved wife started to play along with the fantasy when playing with toys. She would admit she likes big dick and pretend like she was riding someone else. After the orgasm she was back to square 1 and was not open to trying it for real. I told her I wanted to watch her fuck someone else and if she was up for it i would look for someone. She said no. Do you think women would be more open to hotwifing or cuckolding if it wasn't sex, but just sucking off another guy or jacking him off? I am thinking that could be a better approach, but want to hear your opinion.
 
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I take 1 step forward and 10 steps back. My very reserved wife started to play along with the fantasy when playing with toys. She would admit she likes big dick and pretend like she was riding someone else. After the orgasm she was back to square 1 and was not open to trying it for real. I told her I wanted to watch her fuck someone else and if she was up for it i would look for someone. She said no. Do you think women would be more open to hotwifing or cuckolding if it wasn't sex, but just sucking off another guy or jacking him off? I am thinking that could be a better approach, but want to hear your opinion.
I feel you, the irony to me is that sucking a guy off is more intimate from a woman’s pov, especially if he’s gonna cum in her mouth. I think jacking a guy off would be a good place to start as ultimately unless the guy pushes to cum on her face it’s not gonna be seen as being that intimate and can be separated in her mind to just foreplay. I think my wife is more likely to do that and/or just have a quickie and she won’t see it as being intimate
 
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I take 1 step forward and 10 steps back. My very reserved wife started to play along with the fantasy when playing with toys. She would admit she likes big dick and pretend like she was riding someone else. After the orgasm she was back to square 1 and was not open to trying it for real. I told her I wanted to watch her fuck someone else and if she was up for it i would look for someone. She said no. Do you think women would be more open to hotwifing or cuckolding if it wasn't sex, but just sucking off another guy or jacking him off? I am thinking that could be a better approach, but want to hear your opinion.
If you encourage her to just blow another guy, that’s all she will do. If you encourage her to fuck another man than she MAY stop at blowing him but at least she has started down the path
 
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If you encourage her to just blow another guy, that’s all she will do. If you encourage her to fuck another man than she MAY stop at blowing him but at least she has started down the path
I was thinking if she agreed to just a bj then in the moment it would be easier to get her to fuck since the guy is already in the room and she is hopefully turned on if he and I am doing our job right and making it about her pleasure.
 
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I take 1 step forward and 10 steps back. My very reserved wife started to play along with the fantasy when playing with toys. She would admit she likes big dick and pretend like she was riding someone else. After the orgasm she was back to square 1 and was not open to trying it for real. I told her I wanted to watch her fuck someone else and if she was up for it i would look for someone. She said no. Do you think women would be more open to hotwifing or cuckolding if it wasn't sex, but just sucking off another guy or jacking him off? I am thinking that could be a better approach, but want to hear your opinion.
I think a good cock play and blow job is the perfect start even if they don't fuck the first time
 
Does she really enjoy giving blowjobs? If yes, then you can start there. If she doesn't then why would she dive into the lifestyle doing something she doesn't even think will bring her pleasure?
 
Whatever she enjoys more. We played with it for along time in the bedroom and I encouraged her to flirt with guys at parties. One thing led to another and it finally happened but still tends to go in spurts
 
If your marriage is important to you, be very careful.
Don't do anything until it's her decision to try it.
The way a friend started his wife off was by getting her to try him and another guy just pleasuring her with clit rubbing, tit sucking and pussy licking. It then progressed as she became comfortable with it.
If you push to bring in another guy and she gets horny and goes on with it in the moment, be it sucking or fucking, as soon as she cums or in the cold light of day, she will feel dirty and she'll blame you for it and then you've lost the chance forever.
Take it slow.