Stigma against sharing your wife/gf

[JMNBABE]

Why is society against men who love to see other men or women fuck their wife or gf?

Since there are plenty of men and women into this lifestyle why is it that people are so against it?

Yea I don't get all up in arms with people who love monogamy relationships, so why do these same people go all nuts over what we like to do behind closed doors in our relationships?

Curious, but WHO are you referring to that you tell them about this and they get up in arms?! We have been involved in this since our second year of marriage, and I would find it REALLY weird if someone I knew casually, or at work, etc, started yakking to me about what they do in the bedroom......and its pretty hard for someone to be more open minded than me. But if someone I did not know was involved in this lifestyle started telling me about their sex life........I'd find a way to disengage myself pretty quick!!

CW

 

[Hwcouple702]

We consider the vast majority of married men and possibly up to half of married women have had or are having extramarital sex coupled with the fact that porn sites (3 of the top 10) are visited by the majority of all people. With that in mind, we don't care. Also, as was stated earlier, who do you talk to about your sexual relationship"

Certainly, if any of your family or friends or coworkers found out about your lifestyle and saw pics, vids, etc....they would be talking about it, getting turned on about it, trying desperately to find videos and pics and everything else they could find about you. This is true no matter what they might express to others about the situation.

 

[Loridan]

We're mid 50s, we have been into mfm fun with a guy we know for over 4 years off and on. We're not "swingers" at all. None of our friends know we do this and we don't want them to find out. One of my wife's close works friends does know, I about died when wife told me she told her friend. Turns out the friend, our age and married has been seeing fucking a way younger black guy for over a year, hubby has no idea. One of my kinda close coworkers has told me him and his wife are swingers and have invited me/us to parties, we've never gone or acknowledged we're into this. I've been approached two different times from husbands inviting me to do his wife, one was way befor my wife and I were into this, one since. It's flattering for sure but I just politely decline and wonder how their sex life is. Yea wife and I do have our kinky side but it's just for us.

 

[Sgt Ray]

And for many, perhaps most, thats the way they prefer it.

My GF is out on a date this afternoon with a bull shes knows. He's very Alpha & demanding of her, which she enjoys.
She's sucked his cock once already earlier.
No doubt, he'll fuck her good before he sends her home.

 

[Sgt Ray]

Geez, don't over-think this. If she's into
it and you are also, just do it, enjoy it.
Give it too much thought & convo and
you can talk yourself out of possibly THE
hottest, sexiest, erotic turn-on, times you
ever experience.
Relax & enjoy how good it feels, regardless
of the role you play in it.

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

There are some great insights shared above. The reality is that there are many reasons why people could have concerns with this. I can see where vanilla people would fear that hanging out with open couples would increase the chance their partner may cheat. In this case, the fear comes from a lack of trust in their partner. Trust is a major factor for all relationships p, whether they are vanilla or open.

I would argue that hanging out with lifestyles just creates opportunity, but it only matters if there are already issues with trust and loyalty. In my first marriage, my ex wife’s best friend made it very well known that she wanted me. There were several times where I could have cheated on my wife. One time, my wife even proposed trading husbands for the night after a night where we all drank heavily. While I was attracted to her friend, I was smart enough to avoid going down that path while drunk and on a whim. In the end, I never cheated on my wife, but her friend did eventually find someone else to play with and she ended up leaving her husband.

Just some insight on one reason why people may have concerns with the lifestyle.

 

[Loridan]

There are some great insights shared above. The reality is that there are many reasons why people could have concerns with this. I can see where vanilla people would fear that hanging out with open couples would increase the chance their partner may cheat. In this case, the fear comes from a lack of trust in their partner. Trust is a major factor for all relationships p, whether they are vanilla or open.

I would argue that hanging out with lifestyles just creates opportunity, but it only matters if there are already issues with trust and loyalty. In my first marriage, my ex wife’s best friend made it very well known that she wanted me. There were several times where I could have cheated on my wife. One time, my wife even proposed trading husbands for the night after a night where we all drank heavily. While I was attracted to her friend, I was smart enough to avoid going down that path while drunk and on a whim. In the end, I never cheated on my wife, but her friend did eventually find someone else to play with and she ended up leaving her husband.

Just some insight on one reason why people may have concerns with the lifestyle.

Very well said.....as I stated above this is our fun and only for us. We've had conversations with strangers and friends where the sexy fun subject comes up but we just avoid it.

 

[Skuzvodka]

Telegram : SkMatthieu
For exchange pics of our wife

 

[WetWild]

My husband has learned to accept not having monogamy set up and I love him for that . Yes as you get older you realize you have no jealousy, trust and understanding of each other’s needs . Men as they get older lose some of the desire to have sex while women are just starting out. I don’t think we still be married if he didn’t allow me to sleep with other men. Plus i love a hot guy while a decent size cock

 

[Sixteenshots]

You can look at this from many different perspectives. As a husband that would like to share his wife and being married to a wife that doesn't want to be shared, I have come to the realization how much society has stigmatized a lifestyle that looks upon it as a perversion. In my particular case it has been greatly influenced by my wife's Christian upbringing. It has made having pure and honest discussions about "all things sexual" strained and uncomfortable. Those kind of things just aren't discussed by "normal" people. I think that translates to the general populous.

From the research I've done, I've found that people in "the lifestyle" constitute a very small percentage of the population. Put that together with the prevalent societal norms and the deviation becomes deviant (as in a condemnation, or worse an abomination). These things have made my desire to open up my wife's mind to consider the mere thought of real people indulging in such a lifestyle very difficult. It has taken decades for me to get my wife to talk dirty to me in bed in a way that doesn't offend her.

It would be so much better if we could resist judging each other but that is just not the direction we are headed in as a society. If anything it seems worse right now to me in our present societal situation (political, racial, and spiritual). Those forces greatly suppress individuality and seem to praise conformity and thereby pushes the minority back into the closet. I wish I understood these things when I was younger. It is far more challenging to unlearn something because it makes you have to consider being wrong.

Oh I know the Christian upbringing. I wasn’t allowed to have girlfriends, but my alcoholic mother cheated on my dad and they got divorced. She always had men around, but I was told I would be condemned if I didn’t wait until marriage. I’m still a Christian today, but the hypocrisy from her was unreal.

I’d never talk about these fantasies or potential lifestyle with anyone I know. There’s definitely a stigma around these small towns for that. If you are different (beyond just this LS), they cast you out. The internet has really help in connecting people who are stuck in these places. I wish I accepted my fantasies as a young adult instead of denying it because I was afraid of stigma.

 

[Couple4MFM]

Oh I know the Christian upbringing. I wasn’t allowed to have girlfriends, but my alcoholic mother cheated on my dad and they got divorced. She always had men around, but I was told I would be condemned if I didn’t wait until marriage. I’m still a Christian today, but the hypocrisy from her was unreal.

I’d never talk about these fantasies or potential lifestyle with anyone I know. There’s definitely a stigma around these small towns for that. If you are different (beyond just this LS), they cast you out. The internet has really help in connecting people who are stuck in these places. I wish I accepted my fantasies as a young adult instead of denying it because I was afraid of stigma.

My wife grew up in a very similar type of situation. Her family was all Catholic, and if you weren't in church on Sunday, people talked, and you were a heathen. Even 40 years later, it is still the same when we return to visit.

Sex is dirty and shunned. My wife and I were both virgins when we married, but we moved away and have only been back to visit family. It is not any different than when we grew up. Other people who moved and return have very different views, but the people who stayed and never left still are very traditional and conservative in all their views regarding sex.

Surprisingly, my wife had an encounter at age 14 with a 17-year-old boy one night in his car. My mother-in-law interrupted it, but a few more minutes and my wife's virginity would have been lost. He had his cock out and her pants open and down over her hips with her tits out after pushing her shirt and bra over them. My wife says she wanted him incredibly bad that night, but after being stopped, she was spanked on her bare bottom and grounded for months. She also had to go to confession and daily mass.

Two years ago, we were in town for a funeral and staying at a hotel 45 minutes away in the closest town. At the funeral, we met this boy, and he is now a divorced attorney who was relocating back to where he grew up. There was still chemistry, and after almost 40 years, they finally finished what they had started. He has now fucked my wife well over 20 times during visits, and they tease about what people would say if anyone ever found out.

 

[Lapster]

Well from my studies on the subject of negative perceptions and derogatory connotations by the general public surrounding "Cuckolding" is a combination of human nature and limiting vocabulary.

As behavioral scientists have continued research into what is inbred nature versus acquired nuture, the outcomes almost universally show nature (hardwired) overwhelmingly wins out (+90%) in determining our actions and emotions which is contradictory to what most people believe about the reasoning underpinning their own decisions and conduct.

Men possess physical brain structures (greater electrical response evidence) in much greater proportions for jealousy than do women by a wide margin. The belief is this was an evolutionary superior trait in men to protect "their genes" as paternity for men is less certain (obviously) than women. This is a strong drive in men which requires a lot of cognitive brain power to overcome this default setting. I like to think that sharing men are more evolved and developed intellectually than men who insist on their partner's monogamy because men who share their partners have better control over this emotionally volatile instinct.

The false negative perceptions of sharing men are further distorted because of the limited and confusing vocabulary available to describe what is a spectrum of differing behaviors rather than a single preconceived category. This lack of understanding of open relationships is very similar to the stereotyping of gay men with a single set of characteristics of feminity and mannerisms, which are true of only a subset of gay men. Having the term "Cuckolding" as the main categorization for all sharing relationships on the spectrum and also as one of the behavior subcategories contributes to the confusion. Better subcategory descriptors such as Stag/Vixen are almost unknown to the general public, who only know the term and biased definition of the term "cuckolding" which has submissive and demeaning characteristics. These characteristics are viewed as unmasculine and subservient so all men in open relationships are painted with the same brush.

It will change over time, but it will probably take decades as open relationships gradually become less hidden.

 

[JMNBABE]

Raised my son with this in mind: You NEVER discuss Politics, Religion, or Sex outside the immediate family. Live life that way, you will find life much happier. CW

 

[Sgt Ray]

Raised my son with this in mind: You NEVER discuss Politics, Religion, or Sex outside the immediate family. Live life that way, you will find life much happier. CW

Soooo....I guess they shud shut this site down?

Or better yet, you shouldn't look at it....

 

[Sgt Ray]

This. People tend to hate and fight that which they secretly desire but lack the courage to break conformity. Instead of dealing with it and accepting the choices they’ve made they’d rather attack those who are doing what the wish too. Same thing wheee men try to make women dress a certain way in society etc so they show as little as possible. It’s really because the want to see legs, cleavage, etc but they can’t or lack self control so they force others and get angry about that which the really desire.

So, he's thinking reverse psychology?
Hmmm....a psychotic psychologist, it seems.
This site is Wifewantstoplay, for people who
Want the wife to play, genius.

 

[Sgt Ray]

Op and I were talking about why peoppe are so against this lifestyle. Not those that are here but from a general world perspective.

Thats easy. IN SECURITY ....

 

[Lapster]

Thats easy. IN SECURITY ....

I posted this on another thread on a similar topic.

My wife and I didn't want to come out because there can be consequences of someone outing lifestyle couples viciously. Unfortunate that there are those type of people in the world, but they exist. I have seen it happen to others personally. It was also a different time back in the 90's and early 2000's. One couple I know ended up having to change churches when they were "exposed" by some do-gooder who was probably motivated by jealousy. The church never made adulterers under similar abusive punishment. I guess the honesty of their situation bothered the congregation.

Other friends of ours had a drunken slob, thinking the wife would fuck anyone since they were swingers, make a clumsy slimy pass at the wife because he found out. No thanks. I preferred being in the closet.

The truth is that "their standards" of those that would punish you are in actuality illusionary rules that most do not follow. It doesn't matter because that is how society works. We were not ashamed or insecure about it. We just didn't see the reason to give up that privacy for no benefit to us.

I will probably get slammed by the out there, nothing to be ashamed of free and honest crowd, but I disagree. I don't know my in-laws favorite sex positions, why should they know we invite others to join us for sex?

My intent was to show if you think about it there are things that can be done to create a system to shield kids from multiple partner sex even if not to my extremes, in addition to keeping vanilla family and friends in the dark. We were deliberate in our planning to protect our privacy as there are consequences, especially during our era, from being out. It really isn't other peoples' business. Less so today, but kids have a hard enough time thinking about their parents having sex, adding the multiple partner dynamic is something I think should wait until they are much older if not until they are out on their own as adults or maybe never. Why some people find it necessary to "come out" I don't get.

 

[Kuki1969]

Why is society against men who love to see other men or women fuck their wife or gf?
Since there are plenty of men and women into this lifestyle why is it that people are so against it?
Yea I don't get all up in arms with people who love monogamy relationships, so why do these same people go all nuts over what we like to do behind closed doors in our relationships?

 

[JMNBABE]

Soooo....I guess they shud shut this site down?

Or better yet, you shouldn't look at it....

One of us maybe...........you have plenty of hostile responses to people. CW

 

[Sgt Ray]

And proud of each one. Lotta brain dead people on here. With nothing but time to waste..