torn between excitement and practicality - ramblings...

Derma

Couple
Jun 25, 2017
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My gf and I have recently talked about adding a guy to our sex life. I encouraged her to do what she wants - if it excites her and feels good for her, I'm on board. Life is about experiences, so let's try it!

Last night gf met a guy online - and she and I talked about the guy and considering meeting him - i am torn between the excitement of the possibility and the nervousness of what we may be doing soon.

Of course the guy sent the obligatory dick pic. He's a little longer than me, but probably no wider. Bigger head to him. When i asked my gf if she'd like to see that dick shooting cum, she blushed. I took it as a yes. I'm just fine with it - my gf has had a really huge guy in her past and she doesn't need that, she says. Neither of us needs a particular dick size because frankly...well....it's like this...Anyone race cars? A guy with a high horsepower car simply pounds the gas pedal and lets the car's engine sort out the speed. Those are guys with fast cars. Good drivers can make any car fast because they have control and are in-tune. Those are fast guys with cars. We prefer the latter. Our goal is for her to cum as much as she can. But more than that, to live for an hour or so in a hyper-erotic setting -feeling the energy, fear, nerves, and all that.

He is good looking guy - seems respectful and calm. We are looking for a good guy and not an overly-aggressive prick; not into shaming - but a guy who values what he's doing and appreciates the situation.

We may meet him as soon as next weekend.

So - Im conflicted - except conflicted isn't the right word. While i went to bed last night I imagined what I might be seeing and experiencing soon. Seeing my gf be pleasured - she is excited about a couple things - first, she will never be tempted to or worry about cheating per se, because she is not my property and I am not hers. She is excited seeing me very excited. I imagined what i'd be like for her to feel the dick in that pic slide into her. Would she kiss me while he's fucking her? Would she lay across me and stare into my eyes as he cums?

As she cums?

But once we cross this line we cannot undo this. If we decide this isn't for us, we simply stop and carry on with memories of a good, fun night that ultimately didn't match our needs. If only one of us decides we are done with it - the other faces the option of leaving or continued borderline-resentment. We don't want this thing to consume us.

I try to work this through in my mind - okay, if she decides one way or another and we realize we are incompatible in this area and we split up...fine. Got it. Better to split than live together with different goals.
Am I driving us apart - driving the train that takes us to splitsville? Again - i rationalize reminding myself "If it's meant to be..."

What if we love it? What if this becomes a norm? I'm not particularly interested in bringing another woman to bed; but she's wondered if at some point I'll ask her to. She's not opposed to it off-hand, but she's not as on-board as I am about having another guy there.

The guy is experienced with couples - that helps us. Nobody wants a situation where the guy gets clingy :) My gf's body feels 'that' good. At least to me. And i've had my share.

Do we ask the guy what HE wants during this? I think that's a no-brainer. If we're inviting him into this, I want him to enjoy things too; he gets a say if he wants to try things - at least open for discussion.

I am trying to pace myself. There are certain things fantasy-wise I'd like to try, but I remind myself we don't have to check every block with our first meeting. With our first 'third' person event.

He will wear a condom, I will not.

It's weird mentally - feels easier for me to have him with a barrier inside her. While I dont mind the thought of another dick in her, this time - our dipping-the-toe-in-the-water event, I think it feels better in my mind. At some point if we grew into a trusted relationship with someone, and we passed the health tests, barrier-free is okay and probably desired if I was honest with myself. Again, I want him to enjoy this too.

So I'm not feeling like much of a cuck at this point. When the guy asked her if I was a cuck she sent him my response: "I am looking for a good guy - a respectful guy to help me fuck my gf. She and I are the primary concern; she and I take precedent, but if we met a good guy who knows what he's in for and we three have fun? Perfect."

The guy said he's bi - but sort of. We haven't explored what that means, except he asked to see my pic and my dick-pic; we haven't sent the latter yet. I'm not comfortable with sex acts with another guy, but I do like the fact he is okay having me around him, on the bed/couch/whatever. I've thought about me actually taking him and putting him inside my gf the first time. Then kissing her as he pushes deeper - would be a message to her brain that she is not cheating. A message that her job is to enjoy the gift i am giving her. That sorta thing. If the guy is bi, he may be okay being touched. That's a plus.

I realize how disjointed and rambling this is but it helps me to get it out there - to clear my mind of the thoughts in my brain. So thanks for reading. Of course input is welcome.
 
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2wheel

Male
Apr 21, 2016
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"disjointed and rambling"

Yeah, but it thinks that's to be expected. You are definitely conflicted and not clear whether your seeking a cuckold/hotwife event or a 3-some.

The race car is a poor example. Consider classifications and handicaps, both in an effort to level the playing field. A bad driver with an properly powered car has a better chance of winning.than a good driver with an under powered car.

It seems like you may not yet be emotionally ready, your fantasy may be doing the driving.

Sometimes the sizzle is better than the steak.
 
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Derma

Couple
Jun 25, 2017
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Thanks for your thoughts.

And for the record? better driver in an underpowered car DOES have a better chance of winning....that's racin'.
 

2wheel

Male
Apr 21, 2016
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Bluffton, SC
Sorry, but I've done road racing and drag racing 2 & 4 wheels. Won and lost. So from an experienced hand I can say that is an incorrect statement. He/she may have a driving advantage but not a better chance.

Now we return to the subject at hand, SEX!
 

Derma

Couple
Jun 25, 2017
112
57
108
Sorry, but I've done road racing and drag racing 2 & 4 wheels. Won and lost. So from an experienced hand I can say that is an incorrect statement. He/she may have a driving advantage but not a better chance.

Now we return to the subject at hand, SEX!


Tell that to the guys in miatas passing vipers....your experience isnt wrong for you but it flies in the face of fast car vs fast driver - something track guys know well :)


No sex updates - kik’d with a potential guy though..
 

Capn steve

Male
Aug 2, 2016
43
18
138
Northeast Pa, USA
No apologies necessary on your post. Given your situation and concerns, I think it's a reasonable exploration and is certainly insightful. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about what *he* wants out of this. *He* wants NSA sex with your girl. You and she will have to come up with rules and boundaries. That's it. It's up to the two of you. I'd say maybe you consider his needs as much as necesary to make this a pleasant and worthwhile experience for the three of you without compromising your relationship further than getting a FB for your girl already will..
 
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