True Story, what comes next...

australiaguy

Well-Known Member
At the beginning of January 2016, my wife asked me for a divorce, saying she's sick of my grumpy moods, not helping with the house work/cooking, and being stressed out so much. I had a tough 2015 with some health problems and work being super busy, but agreed I had let our marriage slide.

I begged her to give us another chance which she said we'd see how we are after a couple of months. Since then I did a lot around the house and been more aware of my moods, and she's been more happy and relaxed.

We continued having sex right through this period (way more than usual), and a lot of our dirty talk had been around her ex-boyfriend and other men fucking her. After a couple of months, I brought up cuckolding and sent her a couple of articles to read. She said she wasn't shocked at all and could understand why it's a turn on for me.

The weekend after, she started looking at male escort ads right in front of me and said I find this particular guy really sexy. I went along with what she was saying and she wanted to hire him for a couple of hours. I said of course, and asked if I would be allowed to watch. She said no, and that she'd be more comfortable meeting him at his place which I said was absolutely fine.

Ever since I've known her she's very subconscious about her looks and I suggested if things go well with the escort, how about signing up at Ashley Madison or a similar site to find a regular guy. She was saying, I'm ugly, no-one would want me, etc, etc. I said that's all rubbish but she just kept on with that line of thinking. She met the escort a few times and ended up signing up for Ashley Madison as her confidence obviously grew.

My wife met a few guys and was over the moon with her sex-life, and was back at the gym working out a lot, getting a new hair-style, and generally just so happy. She admitted to me also that in our 15 year relationship, I hadn't made her orgasm even once.

So in late 2016, she left me for a guy she had been seeing through Ashley Madison for a few months. Ended badly with her basically saying that it was my fault and that by bringing cuckolding up, and allowing her sexual relations outside our marriage that something like this was bound to happen where she'd fall in love with someone else. It hurt a lot with the things that were said.

A few months after, I was out drinking with some friends, and one of my friends who is gay followed me into the bathroom and kissed me. We finished up going back to his place and had sex that night, my first experience with a man and my second sexual partner after my wife. We continued catching up for sex fairly regularly for a few months, and it felt great that I was able to bring someone to orgasm with nice things being said to me. But over time I constantly felt used, and got really depressed. I finished up getting help and saw someone for counselling for many months who helped me a lot.

Its been nearly a year now, and I'm keen but very hesitate to get into dating again (women), because of the sexual side. I know women in general expect the guy to take the lead sexually but I'm really nervous of expectations/performance and handling the whole dating environment.

Have any cuckolds been through similar experiences and have any advice, or anyone with any advice in general?
 
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