So. Just wanted to share where we are and our journey so far. And would love some advice on how to proceed.
To start, my wife and I are both 36. We have been together for 16 years now and will be married for 10 this year with 2 children together. I have had many many partners - more than I can put a number on, she has only had three, and I am the third. I started having cuckold/hotwife fantasies about 2 years ago. We are both successful and some might say fairly attractive I’ll post some photos below and as a cuckold at heart I’d love to hear your thoughts on her and if anyone her would like to fuck my wife.
I have broached the subject with my wife several times and we have talked about it in earnest. We did a decent amount over the summer where I really opened up about the fantasy. She was open to discussing and even went as far as to say, “but who would we even do that with? I can’t think of many men we are friends with that I would feel comfortable doing that with, do you?”
When she put me on the spot like that, I kind of chickened out in answering which in hindsight I realize that I may have shut her thoughts down a bit by not opening the door further for her. And mentioning one of our friends or colleagues that I know she finds attractive.
Fast forward to the last week and we started talking about it again after I finished reading the book, “Tell Me Everything”. I really opened up this time to her in a more honest way as I have had more and more time to think about and also read up on some self help books on how I would be able to deal with the jealousy and anxiety that goes along with it and truly be able to open up deeply to both our desires and allow her to flourish sexually and experience other men.
2 nights ago as we talked about it while lying in bed it got deep to where we even started discussing scenarios such as how it would work, would I watch, how would we protect her from STI’s, etc, etc. she was non judgement and listening intently.
I had a bit too much too much wine and I think that at some point in the conversation I started to too quickly come up with counters to her doubts and perhaps come off as too pushy and too much about me. This lead her then to have feelings of me only wanting this as a way to have something held over her head so I can both try and control her through guilt and also for my own pleasure to be able to fuck other women.
We were t able to talk anymore about it that night as she just became way too angry and upset. Tonight however, we finally talked about it and I was better able to explain the fact that. It’s about getting her to open up more sexually and it’s about how turned on I get from her receiving pleasure and how I want her to have the most intense pleasure - and hopefully that ends up being reciprocated, but it is about her first and foremost. She didn’t say much but we finally aren’t in a fight about it. And we were able to make up.
I did however have to leave it with her that I wouldn’t bring it up again. Our children are still young and it would be difficult to carry out this lifestyle right now (even though all she would have to do is say yes and I’d be on board!) I then told her that all this being said, I’m interested in this, I only want to be with her sexually and emotionally for the rest of my life, but I do have this desire so if she wants to talk to me about it I would be open and interested to talk more.
So here goes the advice part, I can tell from know my wife, from what I’ve read in here with others experiences, and from just a basic understanding of human psychology she can’t be 100% against the idea. I don’t think she would want to ask questions about who we know that I would want to fuck her, how it would work, use of protection, etc if she didn’t give the idea at least a little consideration. In fact when we were younger and before we were married she once jokingly (but somewhat seriously) brought up the idea of us having other partners and continuing to fuck each other and stay an item. She also mentioned to me during our marriage and during her pregnancies how she started having dreams of men (I think it was a black guy?) fucking her her and how wet it made her that she would wake up and masturbate intensely. All this being said I crossed some sort of line with her and I already made a promise not to be the one to initiate the conversation. So where should I go from here? I really think she has an interest in it, but is a little too afraid to truly open up about it. What’s your best advice?
To start, my wife and I are both 36. We have been together for 16 years now and will be married for 10 this year with 2 children together. I have had many many partners - more than I can put a number on, she has only had three, and I am the third. I started having cuckold/hotwife fantasies about 2 years ago. We are both successful and some might say fairly attractive I’ll post some photos below and as a cuckold at heart I’d love to hear your thoughts on her and if anyone her would like to fuck my wife.
I have broached the subject with my wife several times and we have talked about it in earnest. We did a decent amount over the summer where I really opened up about the fantasy. She was open to discussing and even went as far as to say, “but who would we even do that with? I can’t think of many men we are friends with that I would feel comfortable doing that with, do you?”
When she put me on the spot like that, I kind of chickened out in answering which in hindsight I realize that I may have shut her thoughts down a bit by not opening the door further for her. And mentioning one of our friends or colleagues that I know she finds attractive.
Fast forward to the last week and we started talking about it again after I finished reading the book, “Tell Me Everything”. I really opened up this time to her in a more honest way as I have had more and more time to think about and also read up on some self help books on how I would be able to deal with the jealousy and anxiety that goes along with it and truly be able to open up deeply to both our desires and allow her to flourish sexually and experience other men.
2 nights ago as we talked about it while lying in bed it got deep to where we even started discussing scenarios such as how it would work, would I watch, how would we protect her from STI’s, etc, etc. she was non judgement and listening intently.
I had a bit too much too much wine and I think that at some point in the conversation I started to too quickly come up with counters to her doubts and perhaps come off as too pushy and too much about me. This lead her then to have feelings of me only wanting this as a way to have something held over her head so I can both try and control her through guilt and also for my own pleasure to be able to fuck other women.
We were t able to talk anymore about it that night as she just became way too angry and upset. Tonight however, we finally talked about it and I was better able to explain the fact that. It’s about getting her to open up more sexually and it’s about how turned on I get from her receiving pleasure and how I want her to have the most intense pleasure - and hopefully that ends up being reciprocated, but it is about her first and foremost. She didn’t say much but we finally aren’t in a fight about it. And we were able to make up.
I did however have to leave it with her that I wouldn’t bring it up again. Our children are still young and it would be difficult to carry out this lifestyle right now (even though all she would have to do is say yes and I’d be on board!) I then told her that all this being said, I’m interested in this, I only want to be with her sexually and emotionally for the rest of my life, but I do have this desire so if she wants to talk to me about it I would be open and interested to talk more.
So here goes the advice part, I can tell from know my wife, from what I’ve read in here with others experiences, and from just a basic understanding of human psychology she can’t be 100% against the idea. I don’t think she would want to ask questions about who we know that I would want to fuck her, how it would work, use of protection, etc if she didn’t give the idea at least a little consideration. In fact when we were younger and before we were married she once jokingly (but somewhat seriously) brought up the idea of us having other partners and continuing to fuck each other and stay an item. She also mentioned to me during our marriage and during her pregnancies how she started having dreams of men (I think it was a black guy?) fucking her her and how wet it made her that she would wake up and masturbate intensely. All this being said I crossed some sort of line with her and I already made a promise not to be the one to initiate the conversation. So where should I go from here? I really think she has an interest in it, but is a little too afraid to truly open up about it. What’s your best advice?
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