We started talking about it

Would you fuck my wife?


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NewInOhio

Male
Jan 18, 2023
21
359
88
So. Just wanted to share where we are and our journey so far. And would love some advice on how to proceed.

To start, my wife and I are both 36. We have been together for 16 years now and will be married for 10 this year with 2 children together. I have had many many partners - more than I can put a number on, she has only had three, and I am the third. I started having cuckold/hotwife fantasies about 2 years ago. We are both successful and some might say fairly attractive I’ll post some photos below and as a cuckold at heart I’d love to hear your thoughts on her and if anyone her would like to fuck my wife.

I have broached the subject with my wife several times and we have talked about it in earnest. We did a decent amount over the summer where I really opened up about the fantasy. She was open to discussing and even went as far as to say, “but who would we even do that with? I can’t think of many men we are friends with that I would feel comfortable doing that with, do you?”

When she put me on the spot like that, I kind of chickened out in answering which in hindsight I realize that I may have shut her thoughts down a bit by not opening the door further for her. And mentioning one of our friends or colleagues that I know she finds attractive.

Fast forward to the last week and we started talking about it again after I finished reading the book, “Tell Me Everything”. I really opened up this time to her in a more honest way as I have had more and more time to think about and also read up on some self help books on how I would be able to deal with the jealousy and anxiety that goes along with it and truly be able to open up deeply to both our desires and allow her to flourish sexually and experience other men.

2 nights ago as we talked about it while lying in bed it got deep to where we even started discussing scenarios such as how it would work, would I watch, how would we protect her from STI’s, etc, etc. she was non judgement and listening intently.

I had a bit too much too much wine and I think that at some point in the conversation I started to too quickly come up with counters to her doubts and perhaps come off as too pushy and too much about me. This lead her then to have feelings of me only wanting this as a way to have something held over her head so I can both try and control her through guilt and also for my own pleasure to be able to fuck other women.

We were t able to talk anymore about it that night as she just became way too angry and upset. Tonight however, we finally talked about it and I was better able to explain the fact that. It’s about getting her to open up more sexually and it’s about how turned on I get from her receiving pleasure and how I want her to have the most intense pleasure - and hopefully that ends up being reciprocated, but it is about her first and foremost. She didn’t say much but we finally aren’t in a fight about it. And we were able to make up.

I did however have to leave it with her that I wouldn’t bring it up again. Our children are still young and it would be difficult to carry out this lifestyle right now (even though all she would have to do is say yes and I’d be on board!) I then told her that all this being said, I’m interested in this, I only want to be with her sexually and emotionally for the rest of my life, but I do have this desire so if she wants to talk to me about it I would be open and interested to talk more.

So here goes the advice part, I can tell from know my wife, from what I’ve read in here with others experiences, and from just a basic understanding of human psychology she can’t be 100% against the idea. I don’t think she would want to ask questions about who we know that I would want to fuck her, how it would work, use of protection, etc if she didn’t give the idea at least a little consideration. In fact when we were younger and before we were married she once jokingly (but somewhat seriously) brought up the idea of us having other partners and continuing to fuck each other and stay an item. She also mentioned to me during our marriage and during her pregnancies how she started having dreams of men (I think it was a black guy?) fucking her her and how wet it made her that she would wake up and masturbate intensely. All this being said I crossed some sort of line with her and I already made a promise not to be the one to initiate the conversation. So where should I go from here? I really think she has an interest in it, but is a little too afraid to truly open up about it. What’s your best advice?
 
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Sounds like it was brought up already. Can you take her on vacation without the kids and see if you can stretch her boundaries a bit? Maybe take her to a nudist beach. Maybe take her to Hedo in Jaimaica.
 
Sounds like it was brought up already. Can you take her on vacation without the kids and see if you can stretch her boundaries a bit? Maybe take her to a nudist beach. Maybe take her to Hedo in Jaimaica.
Not too sure if it is something I could get her to say yes to doing. With as much as we work and as many obligations we have, I feel like she would be upset to make the entire trip about that.

I think what I might be able to convince her to do is to spend a day out of an entire trip to visit a place like that, maybe. But I kind of think I need a bit more of a slow, steady and subtle approach.
 
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View attachment 1135895View attachment 1135896View attachment 1135892View attachment 1135901View attachment 1135902View attachment 1135892View attachment 1135895View attachment 1135896View attachment 1135901View attachment 1135902View attachment 1135892View attachment 1135892View attachment 1135895View attachment 1135896View attachment 1135901View attachment 1135902View attachment 1135892View attachment 1135895View attachment 1135896View attachment 1135901View attachment 1135902So. Just wanted to share where we are and our journey so far. And would love some advice on how to proceed.

To start, my wife and I are both 36. We have been together for 16 years now and will be married for 10 this year with 2 children together. I have had many many partners - more than I can put a number on, she has only had three, and I am the third. I started having cuckold/hotwife fantasies about 2 years ago. We are both successful and some might say fairly attractive I’ll post some photos below and as a cuckold at heart I’d love to hear your thoughts on her and if anyone her would like to fuck my wife.

I have broached the subject with my wife several times and we have talked about it in earnest. We did a decent amount over the summer where I really opened up about the fantasy. She was open to discussing and even went as far as to say, “but who would we even do that with? I can’t think of many men we are friends with that I would feel comfortable doing that with, do you?”

When she put me on the spot like that, I kind of chickened out in answering which in hindsight I realize that I may have shut her thoughts down a bit by not opening the door further for her. And mentioning one of our friends or colleagues that I know she finds attractive.

Fast forward to the last week and we started talking about it again after I finished reading the book, “Tell Me Everything”. I really opened up this time to her in a more honest way as I have had more and more time to think about and also read up on some self help books on how I would be able to deal with the jealousy and anxiety that goes along with it and truly be able to open up deeply to both our desires and allow her to flourish sexually and experience other men.

2 nights ago as we talked about it while lying in bed it got deep to where we even started discussing scenarios such as how it would work, would I watch, how would we protect her from STI’s, etc, etc. she was non judgement and listening intently.

I had a bit too much too much wine and I think that at some point in the conversation I started to too quickly come up with counters to her doubts and perhaps come off as too pushy and too much about me. This lead her then to have feelings of me only wanting this as a way to have something held over her head so I can both try and control her through guilt and also for my own pleasure to be able to fuck other women.

We were t able to talk anymore about it that night as she just became way too angry and upset. Tonight however, we finally talked about it and I was better able to explain the fact that. It’s about getting her to open up more sexually and it’s about how turned on I get from her receiving pleasure and how I want her to have the most intense pleasure - and hopefully that ends up being reciprocated, but it is about her first and foremost. She didn’t say much but we finally aren’t in a fight about it. And we were able to make up.

I did however have to leave it with her that I wouldn’t bring it up again. Our children are still young and it would be difficult to carry out this lifestyle right now (even though all she would have to do is say yes and I’d be on board!) I then told her that all this being said, I’m interested in this, I only want to be with her sexually and emotionally for the rest of my life, but I do have this desire so if she wants to talk to me about it I would be open and interested to talk more.

So here goes the advice part, I can tell from know my wife, from what I’ve read in here with others experiences, and from just a basic understanding of human psychology she can’t be 100% against the idea. I don’t think she would want to ask questions about who we know that I would want to fuck her, how it would work, use of protection, etc if she didn’t give the idea at least a little consideration. In fact when we were younger and before we were married she once jokingly (but somewhat seriously) brought up the idea of us having other partners and continuing to fuck each other and stay an item. She also mentioned to me during our marriage and during her pregnancies how she started having dreams of men (I think it was a black guy?) fucking her her and how wet it made her that she would wake up and masturbate intensely. All this being said I crossed some sort of line with her and I already made a promise not to be the one to initiate the conversation. So where should I go from here? I really think she has an interest in it, but is a little too afraid to truly open up about it. What’s your best advice?
She look amazing 🥰🥰
 
I don't yet know the magic recipe, if there is one, since I'm in a somewhat similar situation, except that my wife started out with the upset, angry reaction and accusation of ulterior motives and over time has progressively become more understanding and seemingly interested. However, she mostly only admits her interest after a few drinks, when she's horny, gets super wet and has intense orgasms fantasizing about getting fucked by strange / multiple men, then after sex reverts to feigned disinterest.

However, I have spent quite a lot of time analyzing this, so I do have some thoughts. There are complex feelings around this fantasy / lifestyle for many women and for some it is much harder to overcome. Maybe a female member of the community who has gone through this can provide better insight but I’ll give it a shot.

Shame - Women are molded by society, especially through religion, to feel that having casual sex too easily, too many partners, and most importantly, sex outside marriage, is shameful, makes them a slut, etc. Even if your wife might like to be called a dirty slut in the bedroom (like mine), it doesn’t mean she wants people in your social circle, town, etc, to be calling her that if word ever got out about her activities. It’s easy for us men to overlook this because, men are mostly immune to this problem – no one shames a man for sleeping around, it’s more of an accolade.

Guilt – I know for my wife, she has a really hard time with the idea that she’d be cheating on me. She also is afraid that she’s built up this wall to resisting the advances of other men and that, if she lowered it, it could be really hard to stay in control. As she put it “I want to be good for you but it can be hard for a girl like me and I am afraid things could get out of control.” I think she is afraid of how she’d feel afterwards if she did anything. We broke up for a time before we married and she slept with 2 guys (as I found out years later). The first time with another guy she said she couldn’t stop crying.

Fear of Reprisal - I have a friend whose husband convinced her to get into the lifestyle. It probably wasn’t hard for him because she was definitely more of a natural slut. I used to fuck her before and after they started dating / got married and apparently he knew about it and liked it. Eventually though, after years, for whatever reason, either things got too romantically involved with a guy or whatever, he flipped out on her, called her a slut, filed for divorce and told her family she was unfaithful. It was devastating and embarrassing for her – although, I think she’d agree she’s a lot better off now without him. I think their marriage was really over before that, as he increasingly pushed her to go out by herself, date men, didn't seem to care about it and she felt neglected and did start having feelings... then suddenly he got mad about it all.

Body Image - Many women, my wife included, suffer from insecurities about their looks, especially as they get older. There isn't much you can do about that - no matter how many times I compliment my wife, she thinks "well you're my husband, of course you have to say that." My wife is good looking too, by any standards and certain she is the best looking among her group of friends. She also looks younger than most of her friends, who are actually younger than her. Never the less, she has a feeling of, "I'm not as attractive as I once was." What has really helped a lot there is starting to go to the gym regularly, which gives her a real sense of self-improvement, that inspires confidence. That and me buying her nicer, sexier clothes, which she often wears on "girls nights" and invariably comes home saying how men complimented her or tried to hit on her.

STIs / Pregnancy – Testosterone influences tendency toward risk-taking. Probably a reason men seem more willing to roll the dice on this lifestyle to begin with. We also more easily let our sexual desires overcome concerns like the potential for STIs. Women tend to be more cautious about this and after making it to the safety of marriage, rolling the dice again on STIs is likely not very appealing. Potentially worse, what happens if she got pregnant?! I know for a few this is a fantasy they’d love to live but for most, it is highly undesirable and full of all kinds of pitfalls, like, does the other man have rights concerning the child? How is that going to work? It’s like automatically outing your taboo sex life, among other potential issues.

Unpredictable Men – Many, if not most women have had some negative experience with an overbearing, creepy and / or abusive male. What if a guy can’t respect boundaries and won’t stop contacting you? What if he shows up to the house or your job? This could happen even with a known acquaintance but is potentially more of a risk with a stranger. My wife is of the opinion that any man who would want to meet up with a random couple / looks for this sort of thing online, is obviously a total weirdo creep. Of course, she doesn’t realize, almost all men are weirdo creeps on some level and if places like Craigslist are any indication, there is a way higher percentage of men who would look for sex online than women. Yet, I think that notion is so alien to many women, that they assume it is abnormal.

It’s Just Weird – My wife has this problem that fantasizing about this is not normal and therefore unhealthy. Fortunately, TV / Movies are increasingly normalizing it, so that’s helped a bit. I think over time, just talking about it has made it seem less weird. We’ve also, over the years, found out a couple friends have done threesomes and such, so that also helped. Recently we watched season 2 of White Lotus, where two couples go on vacation together and one of the guys has reason to suspect his wife fucked his friend, which he gets mad about, obsesses over, and then starts fantasizing about. At one point there is this fantasy sequence of him seeing the wife getting fucked by the friend and my wife goes “omg, he’s like you – you’d probably like thinking about that”

They’re Women – Lol… (the following are generalizations and, certainly, some people of either sex fall into the different places on the spectrum of any given behavior) Take all the above factors that would make someone reluctant to explore the lifestyle and then consider that women, not only tend to be more cautious about taking risks but also just don’t feel the need for sex and sexual adventure as much as men… or at least, that’s how they feel until they get into it, then sometimes it’s the reverse. I think female libido is more situational than male’s. Men tend to have higher baseline libido that endures into long-term relationships, even as sex becomes overly familiar and routine, there may be less excitement but men still feel a need for sex regularly (at least, most of us do). It certainly seems like a lot more men complain about infrequency of sex in marriage than women. Also just consider how many men vs. women regularly masturbate to porn and the frequency of masturbation. For many of us men here, a huge part of the desire for this lifestyle is the hope of seeing their wife returned to a more sexual state. Men and women here have reported increases in sexual activity after a sharing experience. The problem is, I think it is impossible for a woman to really appreciate that upside until it happens. It’s kind of a chicken-or-the-egg scenario, where you don’t feel the strong desire for something until you’ve had it. In a case where having the experience, then creates the desire to do it again… achieving that first time is a real challenge.

Ultimately, the path forward depends on the personality and sexuality of your wife. At this point, given you’ve said you won’t bring it up, I’d at least wait a good long while before you do… or, hopefully, she will. Women definitely do not want to feel pushed into this. You need to try to identify what her fears are before you can begin to address them and you definitely need to do it in an open and thoughtful way that doesn’t feel like you’re brushing them off or just trying to plow ahead. Letting her know that you have some fears of your own and talking about how they can be managed might help.

I hate to say it but all the most productive conversations I’ve had with my wife on the subject began after a few drinks. Sometimes personal or societal inhibitions are best loosened with a little booze… There was one very naughty episode where, after a few drinks during a night out, she went into previously untold detail about the sex she had with other men when we broke up. When we got home, her pussy was soaked and I got her to admit and repeat as we had sex, that it was wet from telling me she fucked other men. The next day she made off like nothing happened but eventually I got her to talk about it and reminded her of what she had said during sex, after which, she finally conceded, for the first time that this fantasy really did turn her on.

I know many on here would say, this is an activity best done sober and, to some degree, they’re certainly right… if it could be done sober. For some though, it is probably never going to happen without a bit of mental “lubrication.”

I know my wife and she often has a very hard time taking the first step into a new experience but then virtually always loves it. I mean, you should have seen the dramatic reaction and weird excuses she had about not wanting to try Indian food the first time I tried taking her in our 20s. She actually wouldn’t go in. Then a couple years later she agreed to go with me, loved it, wants to get it more often than me and started learning to cook Indian food. So uhhh, yeah…. That’s what some of us are dealing with lol. Booze…

For me, I think it is just about creating the right opportunity, where she’ll feel the security and desire to do something - or more accurately, let something happen to her, because I don't think she will want to be the initiator. That’s easier said than done with 3 youngish kids but we do have some vacations coming up and we might have a sitter coming with us for one of them.

Hope some of this helps…

Good luck with your own journey!
 
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What an incredibly helpful and articulate response this is!
I'm at the start of our journey, and reading your comments has helped a lot.
After mentioning to my wife 5 months ago I'd love to share her, she has started to open up ever so slightly and have a bit of fun with the idea.

Funny.... she suggested we watch White Lotus S2 together. She's watched both, but wanted me to watch with her. I was going to start at S1 but she said no, S2 is the way....
Can't wait to get to that scene and see what she says to me. She's planned it surely 😊

Women's fears will always be the biggest hurdle in this and should be validated rather than discarded. You've given a great insight and I really hope this gets some female commentary... a point of view from a woman who has been there will be amazing.

I don't yet know the magic recipe, if there is one, since I'm in a somewhat similar situation, except that my wife started out with the upset, angry reaction and accusation of ulterior motives and over time has progressively become more understanding and seemingly interested. However, she mostly only admits her interest after a few drinks, when she's horny, gets super wet and has intense orgasms fantasizing about getting fucked by strange / multiple men, then after sex reverts to feigned disinterest.

However, I have spent quite a lot of time analyzing this, so I do have some thoughts. There are complex feelings around this fantasy / lifestyle for many women and for some it is much harder to overcome. Maybe a female member of the community who has gone through this can provide better insight but I’ll give it a shot.

Shame - Women are molded by society, especially through religion, to feel that having casual sex too easily, too many partners, and most importantly, sex outside marriage, is shameful, makes them a slut, etc. Even if your wife might like to be called a dirty slut in the bedroom (like mine), it doesn’t mean she wants people in your social circle, town, etc, to be calling her that if word ever got out about her activities. It’s easy for us men to overlook this because, men are mostly immune to this problem – no one shames a man for sleeping around, it’s more of an accolade.

Guilt – I know for my wife, she has a really hard time with the idea that she’d be cheating on me. She also is afraid that she’s built up this wall to resisting the advances of other men and that, if she lowered it, it could be really hard to stay in control. As she put it “I want to be good for you but it can be hard for a girl like me and I am afraid things could get out of control.” I think she is afraid of how she’d feel afterwards if she did anything. We broke up for a time before we married and she slept with 2 guys (as I found out years later). The first time with another guy she said she couldn’t stop crying.

Fear of Reprisal - I have a friend whose husband convinced her to get into the lifestyle. It probably wasn’t hard for him because she was definitely more of a natural slut. I used to fuck her before and after they started dating / got married and apparently he knew about it and liked it. Eventually though, after years, for whatever reason, either things got too romantically involved with a guy or whatever, he flipped out on her, called her a slut, filed for divorce and told her family she was unfaithful. It was devastating and embarrassing for her – although, I think she’d agree she’s a lot better off now without him. I think their marriage was really over before that, as he increasingly pushed her to go out by herself, date men, didn't seem to care about it and she felt neglected and did start having feelings... then suddenly he got mad about it all.

Body Image - Many women, my wife included, suffer from insecurities about their looks, especially as they get older. There isn't much you can do about that - no matter how many times I compliment my wife, she thinks "well you're my husband, of course you have to say that." My wife is good looking too, by any standards and certain she is the best looking among her group of friends. She also looks younger than most of her friends, who are actually younger than her. Never the less, she has a feeling of, "I'm not as attractive as I once was." What has really helped a lot there is starting to go to the gym regularly, which gives her a real sense of self-improvement, that inspires confidence. That and me buying her nicer, sexier clothes, which she often wears on "girls nights" and invariably comes home saying how men complimented her or tried to hit on her.

STIs / Pregnancy – Testosterone influences tendency toward risk-taking. Probably a reason men seem more willing to roll the dice on this lifestyle to begin with. We also more easily let our sexual desires overcome concerns like the potential for STIs. Women tend to be more cautious about this and after making it to the safety of marriage, rolling the dice again on STIs is likely not very appealing. Potentially worse, what happens if she got pregnant?! I know for a few this is a fantasy they’d love to live but for most, it is highly undesirable and full of all kinds of pitfalls, like, does the other man have rights concerning the child? How is that going to work? It’s like automatically outing your taboo sex life, among other potential issues.

Unpredictable Men – Many, if not most women have had some negative experience with an overbearing, creepy and / or abusive male. What if a guy can’t respect boundaries and won’t stop contacting you? What if he shows up to the house or your job? This could happen even with a known acquaintance but is potentially more of a risk with a stranger. My wife is of the opinion that any man who would want to meet up with a random couple / looks for this sort of thing online, is obviously a total weirdo creep. Of course, she doesn’t realize, almost all men are weirdo creeps on some level and if places like Craigslist are any indication, there is a way higher percentage of men who would look for sex online than women. Yet, I think that notion is so alien to many women, that they assume it is abnormal.

It’s Just Weird – My wife has this problem that fantasizing about this is not normal and therefore unhealthy. Fortunately, TV / Movies are increasingly normalizing it, so that’s helped a bit. I think over time, just talking about it has made it seem less weird. We’ve also, over the years, found out a couple friends have done threesomes and such, so that also helped. Recently we watched season 2 of White Lotus, where two couples go on vacation together and one of the guys has reason to suspect his wife fucked his friend, which he gets mad about, obsesses over, and then starts fantasizing about. At one point there is this fantasy sequence of him seeing the wife getting fucked by the friend and my wife goes “omg, he’s like you – you’d probably like thinking about that”

They’re Women – Lol… (the following are generalizations and, certainly, some people of either sex fall into the different places on the spectrum of any given behavior) Take all the above factors that would make someone reluctant to explore the lifestyle and then consider that women, not only tend to be more cautious about taking risks but also just don’t feel the need for sex and sexual adventure as much as men… or at least, that’s how they feel until they get into it, then sometimes it’s the reverse. I think female libido is more situational than male’s. Men tend to have higher baseline libido that endures into long-term relationships, even as sex becomes overly familiar and routine, there may be less excitement but men still feel a need for sex regularly (at least, most of us do). It certainly seems like a lot more men complain about infrequency of sex in marriage than women. Also just consider how many men vs. women regularly masturbate to porn and the frequency of masturbation. For many of us men here, a huge part of the desire for this lifestyle is the hope of seeing their wife returned to a more sexual state. Men and women here have reported increases in sexual activity after a sharing experience. The problem is, I think it is impossible for a woman to really appreciate that upside until it happens. It’s kind of a chicken-or-the-egg scenario, where you don’t feel the strong desire for something until you’ve had it. In a case where having the experience, then creates the desire to do it again… achieving that first time is a real challenge.

Ultimately, the path forward depends on the personality and sexuality of your wife. At this point, given you’ve said you won’t bring it up, I’d at least wait a good long while before you do… or, hopefully, she will. Women definitely do not want to feel pushed into this. You need to try to identify what her fears are before you can begin to address them and you definitely need to do it in an open and thoughtful way that doesn’t feel like you’re brushing them off or just trying to plow ahead. Letting her know that you have some fears of your own and talking about how they can be managed might help.

I hate to say it but all the most productive conversations I’ve had with my wife on the subject began after a few drinks. Sometimes personal or societal inhibitions are best loosened with a little booze… There was one very naughty episode where, after a few drinks during a night out, she went into previously untold detail about the sex she had with other men when we broke up. When we got home, her pussy was soaked and I got her to admit and repeat as we had sex, that it was wet from telling me she fucked other men. The next day she made off like nothing happened but eventually I got her to talk about it and reminded her of what she had said during sex, after which, she finally conceded, for the first time that this fantasy really did turn her on.

I know many on here would say, this is an activity best done sober and, to some degree, they’re certainly right… if it could be done sober. For some though, it is probably never going to happen without a bit of mental “lubrication.”

I know my wife and she often has a very hard time taking the first step into a new experience but then virtually always loves it. I mean, you should have seen the dramatic reaction and weird excuses she had about not wanting to try Indian food the first time I tried taking her in our 20s. She actually wouldn’t go in. Then a couple years later she agreed to go with me, loved it, wants to get it more often than me and started learning to cook Indian food. So uhhh, yeah…. That’s what some of us are dealing with lol. Booze…

For me, I think it is just about creating the right opportunity, where she’ll feel the security and desire to do something - or more accurately, let something happen to her, because I don't think she will want to be the initiator. That’s easier said than done with 3 youngish kids but we do have some vacations coming up and we might have a sitter coming with us for one of them.

Hope some of this helps…

Good luck with your own journey!
 
So. Just wanted to share where we are and our journey so far. And would love some advice on how to proceed.

To start, my wife and I are both 36. We have been together for 16 years now and will be married for 10 this year with 2 children together. I have had many many partners - more than I can put a number on, she has only had three, and I am the third. I started having cuckold/hotwife fantasies about 2 years ago. We are both successful and some might say fairly attractive I’ll post some photos below and as a cuckold at heart I’d love to hear your thoughts on her and if anyone her would like to fuck my wife.

I have broached the subject with my wife several times and we have talked about it in earnest. We did a decent amount over the summer where I really opened up about the fantasy. She was open to discussing and even went as far as to say, “but who would we even do that with? I can’t think of many men we are friends with that I would feel comfortable doing that with, do you?”

When she put me on the spot like that, I kind of chickened out in answering which in hindsight I realize that I may have shut her thoughts down a bit by not opening the door further for her. And mentioning one of our friends or colleagues that I know she finds attractive.

Fast forward to the last week and we started talking about it again after I finished reading the book, “Tell Me Everything”. I really opened up this time to her in a more honest way as I have had more and more time to think about and also read up on some self help books on how I would be able to deal with the jealousy and anxiety that goes along with it and truly be able to open up deeply to both our desires and allow her to flourish sexually and experience other men.

2 nights ago as we talked about it while lying in bed it got deep to where we even started discussing scenarios such as how it would work, would I watch, how would we protect her from STI’s, etc, etc. she was non judgement and listening intently.

I had a bit too much too much wine and I think that at some point in the conversation I started to too quickly come up with counters to her doubts and perhaps come off as too pushy and too much about me. This lead her then to have feelings of me only wanting this as a way to have something held over her head so I can both try and control her through guilt and also for my own pleasure to be able to fuck other women.

We were t able to talk anymore about it that night as she just became way too angry and upset. Tonight however, we finally talked about it and I was better able to explain the fact that. It’s about getting her to open up more sexually and it’s about how turned on I get from her receiving pleasure and how I want her to have the most intense pleasure - and hopefully that ends up being reciprocated, but it is about her first and foremost. She didn’t say much but we finally aren’t in a fight about it. And we were able to make up.

I did however have to leave it with her that I wouldn’t bring it up again. Our children are still young and it would be difficult to carry out this lifestyle right now (even though all she would have to do is say yes and I’d be on board!) I then told her that all this being said, I’m interested in this, I only want to be with her sexually and emotionally for the rest of my life, but I do have this desire so if she wants to talk to me about it I would be open and interested to talk more.

So here goes the advice part, I can tell from know my wife, from what I’ve read in here with others experiences, and from just a basic understanding of human psychology she can’t be 100% against the idea. I don’t think she would want to ask questions about who we know that I would want to fuck her, how it would work, use of protection, etc if she didn’t give the idea at least a little consideration. In fact when we were younger and before we were married she once jokingly (but somewhat seriously) brought up the idea of us having other partners and continuing to fuck each other and stay an item. She also mentioned to me during our marriage and during her pregnancies how she started having dreams of men (I think it was a black guy?) fucking her her and how wet it made her that she would wake up and masturbate intensely. All this being said I crossed some sort of line with her and I already made a promise not to be the one to initiate the conversation. So where should I go from here? I really think she has an interest in it, but is a little too afraid to truly open up about it. What’s your best advice?
 
what we did, my husband and I just went out as usual, but one night we met up with an old work mate of my husbands, so they got talking and the three of us met up then each Friday night, soon he cam home for a night cap, seeing as we had danced in the club, it seemed natural to dance at home, then the caressing came about and with some drink, I wanted him, I told my husband, and he said try it on, the other guy soon had a hard on and he asked if one night we could see each other, I said I wouldn't go behind husbands back, but if he wanted me how about him joining us that night in a threesome,
well what a night, I was as nervous as a room full long tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs, as my husband was fingering me the other guy put on a condom, I didn't even know he had put one on, after I had my first orgasm I reached for my husband but he was placid, I though hell he didn't like it, but later he said, that when I had my orgasm he had climaxed without touching himself, anyway they both recovered and I was completely satisfied and so was hubby, that guy is still ongoing after 15 years, but we have others
 
what we did, my husband and I just went out as usual, but one night we met up with an old work mate of my husbands, so they got talking and the three of us met up then each Friday night, soon he cam home for a night cap, seeing as we had danced in the club, it seemed natural to dance at home, then the caressing came about and with some drink, I wanted him, I told my husband, and he said try it on, the other guy soon had a hard on and he asked if one night we could see each other, I said I wouldn't go behind husbands back, but if he wanted me how about him joining us that night in a threesome,
well what a night, I was as nervous as a room full long tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs, as my husband was fingering me the other guy put on a condom, I didn't even know he had put one on, after I had my first orgasm I reached for my husband but he was placid, I though hell he didn't like it, but later he said, that when I had my orgasm he had climaxed without touching himself, anyway they both recovered and I was completely satisfied and so was hubby, that guy is still ongoing after 15 years, but we have others
Sounds likecwhat happened to us. MYwufe and i were in business togerher Ahe use to bring the paychecks to the job. One day she was really dressed up . MY crew never k ew ahe was my wife except for my foreman. That night age tomd me tbat she really liked him we went out for drinks one night after work the three of us.. It became evident that tgey wanted each other.. Her and i discussed it that night at home. We agreed that they could Fuck each other after bringing the payroll.but discreetly. She was always dressed extreme. They would meet after that. I told them.it was ok but if the work suffered by him.not being there ..It would be over ..The job performance increased ..They continued to fuck every friday afternoon. Some times the 3 of us meet for drinks after. This went on for 3 years not only did the job performance increasd but my wifes sex life in our marriage and ourside blossomed and she was more involved in the business SO AGAINST MOST COMPANIES HER FUCKING MADE THE COMPANY BETTER AND MY FOREMAN GOT THE WORK DONE FASTER AND BETTER
 
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Sounds likecwhat happened to us. MYwufe and i were in business togerher Ahe use to bring the paychecks to the job. One day she was really dressed up . MY crew never k ew ahe was my wife except for my foreman. That night age tomd me tbat she really liked him we went out for drinks one night after work the three of us.. It became evident that tgey wanted each other.. Her and i discussed it that night at home. We agreed that they could Fuck each other after bringing the payroll.but discreetly. She was always dressed extreme. They would meet after that. I told them.it was ok but if the work suffered by him.not being there ..It would be over ..The job performance increased ..They continued to fuck every friday afternoon. Some times the 3 of us meet for drinks after. This went on for 3 years not only did the job performance increasd but my wifes sex life in our marriage and ourside blossomed and she was more involved in the business SO AGAINST MOST COMPANIES HER FUCKING MADE THE COMPANY BETTER AND MY FOREMAN GOT THE WORK DONE FASTER AND BETTER
Update
The above story started us into a new way of life Fridays became her day. Friday morning i would ask her what are you plans for the day. I have some errands to do.today. Will.be be a casual or dress up.day? She told me probably dress up day so i knew she would he getting fucked