We have been doing this for about 2 months. My wife has had about 9 different guys 2 of them being regulars. I have only gotten to watch twice but she will usually call me while fucking or record an audio for me to listen to once she gets home. Sometimes alot of questions and angst flows through me when out on her dates but at the same time it is deeply erotic. I wanted to see what thoughts and feeling were present in the beginning for other couples.
What was the hardest part for Hotwives/Cuckolds in the beginning?
- Thread starter Littlee
- Start date
Adjustment difficulties for us varied over time when we first started, and the issues were different for us as individuals, and as a couple.
For me, the biggest initial adjustment issues were the conflict, and mixed emotions of realizing, and seeing my wife actively intimate, kissing, touching, sucking, and fucking another man - lust and desire, combined with what I’d imagined over the years, contrast to the physical reality of actually seeing it happening. Seeing her kiss another man really bothered me initially, until we talked through it, and I realized and accepted that for her it was an integral part of a sexual encounter.
Later, it was the conflict over how much my wife was enjoying the experiences, the frequency of encounters, sometimes risky behaviors, and fearing that she was spiraling out of control.
For my wife, it was a combination of guilt, and fear/jealousy. She would feel ashamed after an encounter, sometimes for days, concerned that what I had witnessed was too much, or that she was “such a dirty, awful slut (her words).” The fear and jealousy were related to her worries that I would use her activities as an excuse to fuck other women - she is extraordinarily jealous of other women, as in crazy-jealous.
The “dirty slut” thing took the longest to tame, and the self-acceptance that she could just let go, and enjoy the sex without guilt and worry about what I thought was an internalized worry that she projected, and eventually overcame.
As a couple, sorting out what was, and was not acceptable took some doing, primarily related to health and safety concerns, particularly if she was playing alone, without my oversight and protection. The biggest issue there was unprotected sex with partners who had not been screened, and the potential risks from too much drinking - poor judgement, “forgetting” a condom, or driving home late after drinking. We’ve for the most part worked all that out.
For me, the biggest initial adjustment issues were the conflict, and mixed emotions of realizing, and seeing my wife actively intimate, kissing, touching, sucking, and fucking another man - lust and desire, combined with what I’d imagined over the years, contrast to the physical reality of actually seeing it happening. Seeing her kiss another man really bothered me initially, until we talked through it, and I realized and accepted that for her it was an integral part of a sexual encounter.
Later, it was the conflict over how much my wife was enjoying the experiences, the frequency of encounters, sometimes risky behaviors, and fearing that she was spiraling out of control.
For my wife, it was a combination of guilt, and fear/jealousy. She would feel ashamed after an encounter, sometimes for days, concerned that what I had witnessed was too much, or that she was “such a dirty, awful slut (her words).” The fear and jealousy were related to her worries that I would use her activities as an excuse to fuck other women - she is extraordinarily jealous of other women, as in crazy-jealous.
The “dirty slut” thing took the longest to tame, and the self-acceptance that she could just let go, and enjoy the sex without guilt and worry about what I thought was an internalized worry that she projected, and eventually overcame.
As a couple, sorting out what was, and was not acceptable took some doing, primarily related to health and safety concerns, particularly if she was playing alone, without my oversight and protection. The biggest issue there was unprotected sex with partners who had not been screened, and the potential risks from too much drinking - poor judgement, “forgetting” a condom, or driving home late after drinking. We’ve for the most part worked all that out.
Frankly speaking I am surprised: 9 guys in 2 months means one new lover per week. So she is very successful and you should be already addapted to your new role of supporting cuck... In my opinion this is the hardest part: how come that she found so many new cocks? Was she a easy wife before? If you could answer these questions everything would be ok
My wife was anxious recently when we had to meet an ex of mine. I said 'hey I don't get upset about meeting your ex...' She was adamant that it was different because I was in love with my Ex whereas she was just having sex with the guy that i mentioned and had never had any emotional attachment to him. I got it in the end.
Like JW_KK's wife she is crazy jealous of other women. She would be devastated if I went with one. It's all about my emotions and her fear of my developing feelings. She too is concerned that her freedom comes in exchange for mine (i.E. swinging).
I'm glad we had the ex-girlfriend conversation because it's clear that my wife has had plenty of sex with people without having or developing any feelings for them. That puts my mind to rest a bit.
Like JW_KK's wife she is crazy jealous of other women. She would be devastated if I went with one. It's all about my emotions and her fear of my developing feelings. She too is concerned that her freedom comes in exchange for mine (i.E. swinging).
I'm glad we had the ex-girlfriend conversation because it's clear that my wife has had plenty of sex with people without having or developing any feelings for them. That puts my mind to rest a bit.
It was terrible the first time when the bull fucking my wife.
What did you feel? I was caught by surprise the first time but expected the next ones.. I felt like she took control and it made me want love her more.. I expected the anxiety, jealousy, and many thoughts so I kept them at bay and they turned into arousement.. it was like a hurdle to jump but it’s over now.
the biggest challenge is to find the right Bull for your wife...i am still searching for the one...
For me it was dealing the confluence of emotions that ranged from excitement, to torment, to jealousy, and lust. Made all the more conflicting since I wasn't allowed to watch her in the act - though I always participated in the first (and sometimes second) meeting in a public or social environment. I watched them flirting, gently touching, bantering, dancing, and kissing. But only watched her having sex once - and it was recent.
For her it was working through the feeling of guilt for "being a cheater" and the conflict of enjoying sex with another man more than with me. We communicated very well (the key to successfully navigating the lifestyle) and she shared every experience with me. Have worked through the mixed emotions over the years but have not had any real regrets in the lifestyle.
For her it was working through the feeling of guilt for "being a cheater" and the conflict of enjoying sex with another man more than with me. We communicated very well (the key to successfully navigating the lifestyle) and she shared every experience with me. Have worked through the mixed emotions over the years but have not had any real regrets in the lifestyle.
A large part of the 1st experiences can be the mixed feelings of jealousy, the exhilaration of watching your wife being pleasured by another man and the insecurity that it causes. Many men overcome that by "reclaiming" their women with intimate talk, physical closeness, and sex. It is a lot like a Rollercoaster ride, but life goes back to routine...until you're ready to indulge the fantasy again.
Buttguy
Male
Personally, for me, the hardest part of adjusting to our new lifestyle was not initially realized in the very beginning. We had experimented and become comfortable with my wife's desire to share her girlfriends with me and we fantasized about her taking on a lover. I would not have called my wife a slut at the time, but she was very open-minded, was very sexual, and with the exception of some of her body image issues was always usually ready and willing to be sexual. We had hooked up with a male acquaintance at a local bar, he had acquired a room at a nearby hotel. Our older child was babysitting our younger children, I went back to check on them as my wife and her guy went to the hotel. When I joined them, they had beer chilling in the sink, her guy was naked, and she was topless wearing only her panties. We had a moment alone in the bathroom and she asked if I was ready for this, if this was a good decision for us. I remember kissing her passionately as a sign it was...I had been hard most of the night fantasizing about watching my wife, as she had watched me with her girlfriends. My hand fell to the front of her panties, they were drenched. I knelt down and pulled them down to her ankles, her bush was so wet, I was so turned on. I pressed my face into her bush and licked her as yet, unshared pussy. We walked out and she joined him on the bed. He was far bigger than I was, his cock looked powerful. I watched as she stoked it, then took it in her mouth. She loved sucking cock, but I didn't remember her sucking mine with such passion.
I remember thinking, in the past with her girlfriends, she just watched until the end when she would join us. I decided, no matter how badly I wanted to jump in the bed and make this a threesome, I was just gonna watch her. I respected her desire to have another cock fuck her without interference. I watched as he fucked her hard and she begged to be fucked harder. It was so arousing and hot, I had never experienced anything so incredibly arousing. I remember having a few moments of envy, and bitterness towards "the guy"...after all, he was fucking my wife and had literally no regard for me...but those feelings disappeared as she came once, and then again, and again. Her passion had been released and she was lost in her world of getting fucked by another man as her husband looked on. Her orgasms were pulling her to another place where she would do anything...a state of being I had never seen in her. It was exciting but worrisome...
We went home that night, she asked if I would shower with her. She was quiet, his cum had oozed from her and stained her panties. Ironically she didn't hold that as a badge of being a slut, but she seemed embarrassed by it, I took them off her and showed her the gusset. She grabbed them and put them in the hamper.
I was still hard from a long night of watching my bride fuck another man. She leaned against the shower wall and asked me to fuck her. I took all my anger and jealousy out on her well fucked, cum filled pussy. We both bathed each other, washing away the sins of the evening.
It wasn't until weeks later that she would disappear in the afternoon. My oldest daughter became suspicious and started asking questions. She would lie about what and where she was, which was not the girl I married. It was obvious she was cheating on me, but at this point, I was severely torn between relishing in watching the woman I married become the most sexually hungry slut and or from my perspective, being willing to lose it all. I had become her cuckold and that allowed me to go on. I was proud of the girl who overcame her body issues and was making decisions more independently, but I was worrying she unlike me, couldn't keep sex and love from intermingling and poisoning our marriage. That became my struggle.
I remember thinking, in the past with her girlfriends, she just watched until the end when she would join us. I decided, no matter how badly I wanted to jump in the bed and make this a threesome, I was just gonna watch her. I respected her desire to have another cock fuck her without interference. I watched as he fucked her hard and she begged to be fucked harder. It was so arousing and hot, I had never experienced anything so incredibly arousing. I remember having a few moments of envy, and bitterness towards "the guy"...after all, he was fucking my wife and had literally no regard for me...but those feelings disappeared as she came once, and then again, and again. Her passion had been released and she was lost in her world of getting fucked by another man as her husband looked on. Her orgasms were pulling her to another place where she would do anything...a state of being I had never seen in her. It was exciting but worrisome...
We went home that night, she asked if I would shower with her. She was quiet, his cum had oozed from her and stained her panties. Ironically she didn't hold that as a badge of being a slut, but she seemed embarrassed by it, I took them off her and showed her the gusset. She grabbed them and put them in the hamper.
I was still hard from a long night of watching my bride fuck another man. She leaned against the shower wall and asked me to fuck her. I took all my anger and jealousy out on her well fucked, cum filled pussy. We both bathed each other, washing away the sins of the evening.
It wasn't until weeks later that she would disappear in the afternoon. My oldest daughter became suspicious and started asking questions. She would lie about what and where she was, which was not the girl I married. It was obvious she was cheating on me, but at this point, I was severely torn between relishing in watching the woman I married become the most sexually hungry slut and or from my perspective, being willing to lose it all. I had become her cuckold and that allowed me to go on. I was proud of the girl who overcame her body issues and was making decisions more independently, but I was worrying she unlike me, couldn't keep sex and love from intermingling and poisoning our marriage. That became my struggle.
The hardest part for me in the beginning was not asking her a lot of detailed questions. I wanted to know what happened, in detail. For us, it was good I hadn’t pushed her with questions. I was shocked that she had done it. There was some anger, jealousy, hurt feelings but I remind myself I had asked for this. She was working through feelings of guilt for sleeping with another man and enjoying the sex more with him. As we continued on this journey, she became more confident and adventurous.
We are coming up to 5 years, and I still feel some jealousy and angst when she is with her boyfriends, but over all i am happy she is enjoying herself and I am glad she took the plunge that first time.
We are coming up to 5 years, and I still feel some jealousy and angst when she is with her boyfriends, but over all i am happy she is enjoying herself and I am glad she took the plunge that first time.
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