My wife of 46 years is the same with one exception, she loves her Hitachi Magic Wand. It has become her one and only "toy". She got her first one decades ago when she went to a sex therapist because she had trouble having an orgasm. I was shocked that she even went to a doctor about this at all. Even though it was a long time ago, I distinctly remember her locking herself in the bedroom alone and masturbating for hours with it. The odd thing was/is that she never masturbated before or since.
I tried to capitalize on her adding the Hitachi by suggesting we try a dildo. She reluctantly said she's try it and told me to buy one. I really wanted her to select it but she didn't want to have anything to do with the purchase. I got her one of those "rabbit" type, with the rolling ball bearings and the clit vibrator. We/She used it twice and it never really made an impression on her. I had hoped she would enjoy the "fuller" feeling and the foreplay that accompanied using it, but that idea withered away from being ignored.
I've made some assumptions about her experiencing orgasms that are clearly ignorant. I assumed that if she had this "over the top" orgasm, that she would want it again and crave the experience. That simply has not proved to be true. I have yet to find what makes my wife crave anything. I'm often torn between thinking I'm the problem, I just don't evoke that in her, and on the other side, I tell myself she's the issue, she knows what's going on and she doesn't want to change. Either way it leaves a gap in an otherwise perfect marriage.
