Need some advice in the lifestyle.have want to share my gf for a long time now she knows this and will talk about it and make stuff up (if they are made up ) but be angry the next day my question is if she was totally against it would she make the stuff up or just shut me down right away?can give more info if willing to give advice
Advice from reluctant at first hotwifes
- Thread starter Ironmike
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Before we got married I told her that I know it's not something you normally would do, but I want to live an exciting life. At 18 I worked with alot of old men, and too many of them were in sexless marriages. Terrifying. That said, I told her I'm totally committed to only you but I don't see a life of vanilla sex doable for me. There has to be more excitement. I said it knowing that it was selfish on my part, yet true. Seeing my sexy woman in a sexual situation with other men would need to happen discreetly, 3-4 times a year. These types of conversations probably took place 8-10 times and she knew I'd eventually move on to a woman who would welcome this lifestyle. She also knew my ex was frigid yet was happy to let older men massage her nude and help them get them off. So she figured I may go back to her or find someone compatible in a swingers mag (obviously pre-internet).
time and patience and don't be too pushy is all I can say. With us the idea would have been a 100% no for me for a long time even with my husbands kinks. After kids our sex life had dried up to a degree and I assumed he was bored of things and to me the idea that he was horny thinking of me with someone else was him trying to engineer a breakup and blame me but eventually ideas crept into my head and he caught me flirting someone from my past as I left the tablet we both used logged into my facebook.....it still took 12-18months of baby steps from that point but that was now 6 years ago and its been a lot of fun since. On the flip side you also need to be prepared that she might just say no and thats it, not everyone wants to.
Don’t pressure her, be honest and reassure her how much she means to you.
My wife was adamant she “would never do anything like that “ (exact words), when I told her about a bit of swinging in a past relationship. When I questioned why, she said she would be to jealous to see me with another woman, so I told her I would be ok if she wanted two men to pleasure her. She then thought I was bi, and i assured her I was not, and that I just wanted her to experience it. She was concerned that it would affect our relationship in a negative way, and it wasn’t something we countdowns once it had been done. 18 mths later she took her first BBC, within 3 mths she was enjoying multiple BBC together. It was a combination of watching porn, role playing, toys, talking about how we felt and the concerns a step at a time. It was unexpected when she said one night she wanted to try it just the once but only if the bull was black.
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