Yes looking like it - just she’s so fuckin slippery and want to catch her out at it be cause she so comes across as this richeous prude where I’m a fiery bastard for even suggesting a half decent sex life while she’s out getting pumped looks like and has done before a few times with other partners - I know for a fact she cheated on her last partner even though as per usual it’s deny deny deny / gaslight and turn it back round on me . The double standards and narcissism from her is off the chart
Am I right ??
- Thread starter Snoopsissy
- Start date
Is her ...... from the ex husband? Do you have any interaction with her? Do you know anything about what the ......'s attitude is towards her father?
Ah that’s cool coastal kid I get the gist - yes she is from the ex and she used to live with us until recently and gave me lots of hassle being overweight , spoiled , entitled etc etc . At one point an ex of the wife had messaged the step ...... on Facebook and asked if it was ok that he was in contact with my wife and she said - yes I’m fine with it - that was my biggest mistake - should have kicked both of them out there and then but it was turned back to me - how dare I record them , illegal etc etc . My wife was in communication with him and the stepdaughter was fine with it - nothing about you shouldn’t be talking to my mum behind her husbands back as truth be told she didn’t like me one bit because from day one I treated her like an adult and didn’t feel sorry for her that - she was way overweight - didn’t / couldn’t get a boyfriend / didn’t have a social life / no friends apart from a gay man - you couldn’t fucking make it up . . I still have the recording and it is very damming on her part but invaluable for me . Which is why I think she is back in touch with this same guy - she told me - he was ‘the one ‘ so determined this time to get concrete evidence that she can’t gaslight or squirm out of . Tonight she got a ping or what I’d take to be maybe a WhatsApp message - as I was sitting next to her !! . Needless to say she didn’t attempt to answer it ,
I see what you mean coastal kid about her growing more confident - last night and I don’t recall if she had an incoming message or not ( maybe phone on silent ?) . So she’s sitting parallel with me last night on the couch - then says I need to message this guy from work - then fucking turns 45degrees to her left so she’s nearly looking at me while she messages !! . I’ve had exactly the same thing happen with my ex fiancé only it was a woman at work - where in fact it was another guy - my wife drives school buses and it’s 95% older guys she works with . The car is the key I think so I’m getting a tracker on it just to see where it goes when she’s ‘ shopping ‘ and a voice recorder inside so any conversations to and from ‘ the shops ‘ will be there too .
She's going to get careless eventually. The question will be whether she actually does care about deceiving you. She's getting more bold and it sounds like she won't care if you do know what she's doing. By then it will be too late. Catching her in her deception won't matter by that time. Maybe you should have a sit down with her and tell her she could have it all if she would just level with you. Tell her that you are, and have been, suspicious of her behavior for a long while. Confront her with her long periods away from home, her secrecy about her iPad, her "daw ters" support of her communication with the ex, and her overall attitude towards you. Tell her that you no longer need to catch her in her deception, her behavior and attitude is becoming more and more intolerable each and every day. At this point, by the time you do gather any REAL evidence the damage will be already be done. She could have had it all but you'll never be able to trust her because of her behavior.
Yes exactly but I still want and need for my own sanity and peace of mind to catch her out unequivocally, she is always gaslighting me and will be devastated to be found out and that ‘ she doesn’t know all the tricks not to be found out cheating ‘ coastal kid . She wouldn’t become more bold as she is still confident that she’s one step ahead of me . Hopefully my little recorder wil pick up a conversation as I feel she thinks the car to be a safe space and I will move as reqd on any information forthcoming .
I don't blame you in the least about wanting to catch her. She's more or less thrown down the gauntlet and dared you to catch her. Maybe a second recorder for the bedroom might be a good thing too. She might make a phone call there while you're out of the bedroom. I fully understand how this fits with your sanity. She's "poking the bear" with her attitude.
You said she drives a school bus as a living. Is she off for summer break? What time does she get off work? Are you retired yet? I'm just thinking about her free time and how she spends it.
You said she drives a school bus as a living. Is she off for summer break? What time does she get off work? Are you retired yet? I'm just thinking about her free time and how she spends it.
Yes I think I’ll get a second one - no she finishes up in 2 weeks I think more or less . She does her run then home for a few hours , then pick back up and that’s her so plenty of free time . No
I’m still working away as an auto technician , she’s usually in the house as she doesn’t have a car of her own and it’s really only lately she has been going ‘ shopping ‘ - she knows I would her her to be shared and would be ok with it - to clean her after she comes home but not to deceive or keep anything hidden from me which is exactly what it seems she is choosing to do . She was looking nice sexy this morning - blue top and jeggings on , told her so and then she said she might go to shops to return some shorts she bought -.
I’m still working away as an auto technician , she’s usually in the house as she doesn’t have a car of her own and it’s really only lately she has been going ‘ shopping ‘ - she knows I would her her to be shared and would be ok with it - to clean her after she comes home but not to deceive or keep anything hidden from me which is exactly what it seems she is choosing to do . She was looking nice sexy this morning - blue top and jeggings on , told her so and then she said she might go to shops to return some shorts she bought -.
Entirely possible. A lesbian friend might not accept your wife's attentiveness to you. She might want your wife's complete attention. A lesbian friend can be quite possessive and anti-hetero relationship for your wife.
No I doubt that but you just never know eh - she worked beside a lesbian at her last work who asked her a couple of times to go to a gay club but she showed no interest . As far as I know all people at her current work are straight - she has never mentioned otherwise . I have an idea who it might be but whoever and whatever something isn’t right and hasn’t been for a while - I just don’t listen or take in any of her gaslighting now - I just remember what facts I know about her whatever she tries to deflect .
She has to know that you're at a minimum suspicious of her behavior. I understand that she has been intolerable on so many levels. Have you considered what you'll do when you (hopefully) get some concrete evidence? I know you'll want to throw it in her face. She's earned at least that much. What happens after that? Do you think your relationship can be salvaged?
I'm sure it's a huge frustration for you knowing she could. have it all AND you could be getting something out it. Instead she's playing a foolish game. In effect she's daring you to catch her. I can only imagine how smug and self-assured she acts around you (and probably ONLY you). Your story/situation is sad. I feel bad for you, sincerely.
I also have this strong desire to read about her being brought down. She's got it coming to her! How long until you can have your recording devices in place? Any luck yet with the iPad?
I'm sure it's a huge frustration for you knowing she could. have it all AND you could be getting something out it. Instead she's playing a foolish game. In effect she's daring you to catch her. I can only imagine how smug and self-assured she acts around you (and probably ONLY you). Your story/situation is sad. I feel bad for you, sincerely.
I also have this strong desire to read about her being brought down. She's got it coming to her! How long until you can have your recording devices in place? Any luck yet with the iPad?
Well that’s it , if she as much suspects I’m onto her , she will turn it around onto me , I need to have something she cannot squirm out of and has to admit she has been seeing someone else . I know for sure she cheated on her last partner and presented her with my evidence but as always deny deny . Well I think the relationship will be done because of going behind my back . Well I’m still waiting on it coming but we are going away on my bike over the weekend so I’ll keep my eyes open , so hopefully recorder be in place for Monday - she does not use the car during the week and it’s usually the weekend she finds a reason to disappear . She goes to bed earlier than me with her I pad so she can communicate through that without me knowing . No I haven’t managed to unlock that either yet . You would think she would at least try and keep me sweet on the intimacy side to deflect but as you say - she does not care whatsoever .
It's a damn shame. My wife was being shady, quiet, alot of texting. I was actually able to get the phone numbers she texted through the cellular company. I seen she texted a number at all hours of the night. 400 plus more times than she texted anyone else that month. I called the number , figured out who it was and the confronted her with all my evidence. She openly admitted to all of it. You may be able to do something similar unless she's using a service to communicate through.
Being shady about it is the tragedy, the part that most damages a relationship. Openness and honesty is the best. Talk about things, if you come to an agreement fine, if not, then part ways. Wives who cheat want both the security of marriage and the freedom to play. If playing is more important, then they should take the risk of losing the security of marriage by honestly stating their desires.
I think it is a little different for some men who cheat. There are men, and I count myself among them, who feel responsible for their wives' well being (mostly financial well being, also medical and psychological well being) and get no affection from them. I'm sure that many such husbands share my dream that she find a rich lover (male or female) and runs off with him or her. I would shed some mock tears, but mostly celebrate my liberation.
Motoman is right. See if you can get a detailed phone bill with records of texting. Just tell them you're considering changing your data plan, or don't tell them anything.
Sounds similar to me only mines disappears for hours too , no initmacy etc. Would I be able to do that here in uk as I don’t know apart from her no / e mail and provider any account details so they may not give me that and possibly even alert my wife ? . Many thanks for your reply motoman
Yes it’s the deception that’s the worst but , she knows I’m ok to share her but she would rather deceive and go behind my back . This absolutely no intimacy is nothing really new ( she believes a man should always make the first move and other fucking gaslighting gems like she doesn’t have any fantasies / doesn’t know what turns her on - has only ever had other partners who were boring / vanilla to a man it seems etc etc) . But she’s away for hours , like last Saturday - 5 hours - no panties in wash machine Saturday night - hand washed them separately on Sunday morning and sneaked them in the line with rest of stuff ?!! . To me that really shady and along with another couple of things lately is really getting my attention now but at the same time still being dumb / blind / deaf hubby .
As long as you guys share a phone plan, they will share it all with you. Could also put a GPS tracker on the car. Or you could try and convince her that you've already caught her some how and see if she will own it
Sorry we have separate providers so that’s a no go . Yes I’m already looking into a decent pay as you go tracker - I’m still finding myself thinking I’m crazy to be doubting her but her behaviour and lack of empathy / intimacy towards me and recent events are pinging red flags constantly especially the text message and the panties . No she will defenately not own it unless I have concrete something to lead with . I’ve got a voice recorder for bedroom and getting one for car so fingers crossed - voice activated ones
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