Confused by Feelings

[ShadowPro]

I am in a very unexpected situation and I don’t know how to react or how to understand my feelings. My wife and I have been married for 13 years and as part of my job I travel a lot. A recent trip wrapped up early so I hopped in the car to drive home a day earlier then expected. My wife is always happy when I am able to cut a trip short and come home early.

But this time when I got home I received a shock. I walked in the house and my wife was in the living room naked expect for heels and bent over the couch getting fucked from behind. I was in such shock that I didn’t know how to react and I froze. It took a moment for them to realize I was there and I was everything in what seemed like slow motion. My wife freaked when she saw me and the guy backed away. Now I was staring at them naked and just left the house. I came back about an hour later and we talked. She has been cheating on me with him for a few months.

I am upset but utterly confused by some of the other feelings. When I think about it I am actually getting somewhat turned on. I can picture in my mind what she looked like bent over, getting pounded from behind with her big tits flopping around from how hard she was taking it. Then when she was standing there naked with the guy I saw that he in fact had a real life bbc.

This type of thing never occurred to me that I would get any enjoyment out of it but in a confusing way it turns me on.

 

[Lynnandhubby]

A lot of guys get into the lifestyle by catching their wife cheating so you wouldn't be the first.
If it really turns you on, talk to her about it. You first of all want to make sure that this is just about the sex and that she doesn't have strong feelings for him.
If that's the case tell her that you were hurt that she went behind your back but that on thinking about it you realised that it turned you on. If this is what you want, then tell her you're ok with her continuing to see him as long as she's honest about it. You may find its a relief for her too not having to hide this any more.
It seems like the ball is in your court to decide which way you want to go with this.
As a woman whose hubby loves me fucking other guys I can tell you that this can bring a lot of enjoyment to both husband and wife if you are sure that's what you want. But that doesn't mean it works for everyone.
I hope it goes well for you which ever way to decide to go with this.
Lynn x

 

[ShadowPro]

A lot of guys get into the lifestyle by catching their wife cheating so you wouldn't be the first.
If it really turns you on, talk to her about it. You first of all want to make sure that this is just about the sex and that she doesn't have strong feelings for him.
If that's the case tell her that you were hurt that she went behind your back but that on thinking about it you realised that it turned you on. If this is what you want, then tell her you're ok with her continuing to see him as long as she's honest about it. You may find its a relief for her too not having to hide this any more.
It seems like the ball is in your court to decide which way you want to go with this.
As a woman whose hubby loves me fucking other guys I can tell you that this can bring a lot of enjoyment to both husband and wife if you are sure that's what you want. But that doesn't mean it works for everyone.
I hope it goes well for you which ever way to decide to go with this.
Lynn x

Thank you for your insight, I want sure if this was something that was in any way normal to feel and was looking for input from anyone with experience.

We have talked a little bit about what happened and she has admitted that it is purely for the sexual thrill. Which is a little upsetting that I’m not enough for her. But then also a little exciting that she is doing stuff like this for her own pleasure.

I haven’t said anything to her yet about feeling turned on about it all. At the time I caught her, I didn’t have any of these feelings. But then reliving it in my mind it’s just like this thrill to know she was in our house just getting fucked like that. I can see how it could be exciting but am also feeling weird about the idea of her cheating too.

So many mixed thoughts.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

All females should have lots of lovers. You would enjoy your cock being sucked no matter who was sucking your cock. you should focus on doing anything and every thing to make her happy including her fucking any cock she wants.

 

[Lynnandhubby]

Thank you for your insight, I want sure if this was something that was in any way normal to feel and was looking for input from anyone with experience.

We have talked a little bit about what happened and she has admitted that it is purely for the sexual thrill. Which is a little upsetting that I’m not enough for her. But then also a little exciting that she is doing stuff like this for her own pleasure.

I haven’t said anything to her yet about feeling turned on about it all. At the time I caught her, I didn’t have any of these feelings. But then reliving it in my mind it’s just like this thrill to know she was in our house just getting fucked like that. I can see how it could be exciting but am also feeling weird about the idea of her cheating too.

So many mixed thoughts.

I think it's quite natural and normal that you're feeling a bit shell shocked - it's a big thing to take onboard.
To be honest I think it's good that she was only doing this for the sexual thrill. It doesn't necessarily mean that you no longer do it for her. Sex with my hubby is great but I still love fucking other guys. In any case even if he is better in bed, it doesn't mean she loves you less or that she doesn't enjoy having sex with you. Sometimes it's just the thrill of having someone different. You can love steak but it doesn't mean you'd want to eat it for every meal.
It would be far more worrying if she had romantic feelings for him but if it's just sex, then it's just sex. Sex is important but it's still only a small part of a relationship.
I think you need to have another long talk to her now that you've had more time to think about. If it's the cheating that worries you but you find the idea of her having sex with another guy or guys exciting then let her know how you feel. It may be if you feel she's being honest and open with you, then you can share in the fun of her fucking someone else xx

 

[ORAL PARTNER]

I am in a very unexpected situation and I don’t know how to react or how to understand my feelings. My wife and I have been married for 13 years and

It is a decision between 1) true love between husband and wife or 2) simply sexual desire only between the two.
To me sexual desire is only a short time act leading to momentary sexual satisfaction of each other whereas love is life long matter leading to long time overall happiness in life between the two loved ones.
Only frustration here is it happened secretly without spouse knowing.
I would continue to fuck her as a loving husband as usual after a good conversion for each other's willingness for future encounters.

 

[Ocguy]

All females should have lots of lovers. You would enjoy your cock being sucked no matter who was sucking your cock. you should focus on doing anything and every thing to make her happy including her fucking any cock she wants.

Again not every body is a sub sissy what ever else you call yourself, if you into it great if you’re not into it seek some counseling.

 

[NghtyLiLBlnde84]

I am in a very unexpected situation and I don’t know how to react or how to understand my feelings. My wife and I have been married for 13 years and as part of my job I travel a lot. A recent trip wrapped up early so I hopped in the car to drive home a day earlier then expected. My wife is always happy when I am able to cut a trip short and come home early.

But this time when I got home I received a shock. I walked in the house and my wife was in the living room naked expect for heels and bent over the couch getting fucked from behind. I was in such shock that I didn’t know how to react and I froze. It took a moment for them to realize I was there and I was everything in what seemed like slow motion. My wife freaked when she saw me and the guy backed away. Now I was staring at them naked and just left the house. I came back about an hour later and we talked. She has been cheating on me with him for a few months.

I am upset but utterly confused by some of the other feelings. When I think about it I am actually getting somewhat turned on. I can picture in my mind what she looked like bent over, getting pounded from behind with her big tits flopping around from how hard she was taking it. Then when she was standing there naked with the guy I saw that he in fact had a real life bbc.

This type of thing never occurred to me that I would get any enjoyment out of it but in a confusing way it turns me on.

I'm close to 40 now. When I was 19 or so I think I had a gf that I knew to got around, she had a rough life, thought I could save her, young and stupid. Found out she cheated on me with an older guy who had actually been in a porn movie (much bigger deal back then) she had seen it drunk, wanted to see his big dick.... I was yelling at her, calling her a slut bitch whatever and she was talking shit back and I ended up fucking the shit out of her in the middle of the argument and we both were happy for a short period of time. Definitely wasn't relationship material, but planted the seed for later on. And I was extremely confused at the time....took a few years I was very young.

 

[ShadowPro]

My wife and I have had a few conversations and I slowly introduced the idea to her that I was upset by what happened but that it was also somewhat of a turn on. Last night in bed I took the leap and just blurted out to her what I desire. I told her that I can’t stop thinking about her getting fucked by another man and that I want her to keep doing it. I told her that I want her to meet back up with the guy and fuck him again. I don’t think I am quite ready to handle watching her but just knowing that she is having sex with someone else is exciting. She was a little surprised by what I was asking and made sure that it’s what I really wanted. But after listening to me and how much I want it for her, she agreed to meet up with him today and start fucking him regularly again.

 

[Lynnandhubby]

My wife and I have had a few conversations and I slowly introduced the idea to her that I was upset by what happened but that it was also somewhat of a turn on. Last night in bed I took the leap and just blurted out to her what I desire. I told her that I can’t stop thinking about her getting fucked by another man and that I want her to keep doing it. I told her that I want her to meet back up with the guy and fuck him again. I don’t think I am quite ready to handle watching her but just knowing that she is having sex with someone else is exciting. She was a little surprised by what I was asking and made sure that it’s what I really wanted. But after listening to me and how much I want it for her, she agreed to meet up with him today and start fucking him regularly again.

That's great to hear. Well done for summoning up the nerve to tell her exactly how you feel. I hope you both get lots of pleasure from going forward with this xxx

 

[robbiewillsucku]

That's great to hear. Well done for summoning up the nerve to tell her exactly how you feel. I hope you both get lots of pleasure from going forward with this xxx

it is exciting knowing that she is going to start fucking other cocks and she will not stop. Offer to drive her to him.

 

[LadyKay]

Went to a party other nite at my husband's friend's house had a few drinks decided to sleep over husband encouraged me to sleep with his friend it was very good sex. On way home husband wouldn't leave my pussy alone. Now today friend has called wants to come by to see me while husband is at work.Don't know if I should accept husband might want to be here.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

Went to a party other nite at my husband's friend's house had a few drinks decided to sleep over husband encouraged me to sleep with his friend it was very good sex. On way home husband wouldn't leave my pussy alone. Now today friend has called wants to come by to see me while husband is at work.Don't know if I should accept husband might want to be here.

yes yes yes fuck him again. Then ride your hubby's face and share the details with him.

Every woman should have lots of lovers. If you love her -- you should focus on her and doing anything and everything that will make her happy and that includes her fucking any cock or pussy that she wants 1on1 or 3way or 4way. That includes you sucking cocks for her and licking her pussy clean and even putting your cock in a cock-cage and letting a man fuck your sissy-pussy. It is all about making her happy. Next item - hope you will share the details of your past and current sex and your kinky fantasies.

 

[hotwifeluvr]

I understand your shock and confusion. I was fortunate in that I figured out this excited me fairly early on, from reading Penthouse stories about it.

It was still awkward to discuss with my wife when I got married, but by then, I was already hooked on the thrill of the fantasy. I actually never dreamed she'd do it for me, and was more worried that she'd be upset that I had those desires. Turns out, she loved it once she felt confident that I really did want it, and eventually she did it for me.

Obviously, you've got to do what's right for you and your marriage. But as you work through this, one thing to consider is to be honest with her, and relieve her from her guilt or shame. Some might be tempted to weaponize her betrayal, to use it to get power in the relationship. I think that the best thing to do would be to be completely honest with her. Tell her exactly how you feel. Confused by the conflict raging in your head, and making sure to reveal that it turns you on.

Let her off the hook. Ironically enough, you may even want to apologize for any angry reactions you had, or unkind words. Acknowledge that they came from a place of anger, but that now that you realize how much it excited you, that you wish you hadn't said those things. When things feel like they've OK between you, during an initiate moment, ask her to tell you details about fucking him. She may balk. If so, put her hand on your raging hard-on so she can see how your are aroused. If she is reluctant, go ahead and start for her. Tell her how exciting it has been for you to think about how she sucked his dick on your couch, and whatever other visuals you have that excite you.

After you cum, you may find that you are flooded with the hurt or angry feelings. So just be ready for them. Don't react to them, Try your best to zen and not reveal them in that moment at least. They'll pass, but you don't want to set up a dynamic where your wife is alternately coaxed to share this with you and then made to feel bad for hurting you. That can be tough at first, but you really need to control that. Man up or whatever you say to yourself.

 

[hotwifeluvr]

By the way, thanks for sharing your story. I hope as you sort this out, you'll reveal more here.

 

[hotwifeluvr]

Exactly. this is the exact analogy I used when urging my wife to consider it. She kept telling me how I was a great lover, the best, and all that. I told her that I am confident that I'm a good lover, but that I really don't feel that I need to be her best, just like I don't need to be the best cook, or anything else. I told her that even if I were the best and her favorite, it's like Lynn said. You may have a favorite food. You may love filet mignon, but that doesn't mean you want to have it every meal, or that you never get a hankering for a hamburger.

It doesn't necessarily mean that you no longer do it for her. Sex with my hubby is great but I still love fucking other guys. In any case even if he is better in bed, it doesn't mean she loves you less or that she doesn't enjoy having sex with you. Sometimes it's just the thrill of having someone different. You can love steak but it doesn't mean you'd want to eat it for every meal.

 

[hotwifeluvr]

I think this is why it isn't a bad thing that it is often a long time before a wife agrees to it. Much as we may want it, if the first time you brought it up, she were to say "Oh hell yeah! Bring me that good dick!" we may find that we don't like that as much as we thought we did.

What I can tell you is that with my first wife, who was the first to do this with me, she was reluctant at first. Didn't even want to talk about previous lovers. But she had to notice how my dick grew harder and longer when she talked about the guy who would fuck her so hard the sweat would be dripping down on her.

In time, she opened up to me talking about my fantasies, but wouldn't acknowledge that she had any actual interest in them herself. I would ask her if she liked the idea, and after denying it for a while, she finally, slowly nodded a gentle and convincing "yes". I shot my load with intensity and she also had a powerful orgasm.

After that, we'd talk about it, and I'd ask her if she "really" would do it. Same response at first, then finally she nodded yes and we had explosive orgasms. After that it became a regular thing, and she'd cum hard as would I. And, to your point, I would have post orgasm remorse and angst. I never acknowledged that to her though. Based on that, one might think that after she did it for real, those feelings would intensify. To the contrary, they diminished substantially. They would still crop up from time to time, but it was just too hot. Fuck it anyway, I was hooked!

I’d feel the same way, haven’t been cucked yet (that I know of lol) but I’d react like you did even tho I’m sooo into the idea of my wife fucking other guys. I’d also feel regret, shame and anger after I came. I do when I’m done jacking off while thinking of her being a slut. That last part is the hardest part to get over, in my opinion

 

[Lynnandhubby]

I understand your shock and confusion. I was fortunate in that I figured out this excited me fairly early on, from reading Penthouse stories about it.

It was still awkward to discuss with my wife when I got married, but by then, I was already hooked on the thrill of the fantasy. I actually never dreamed she'd do it for me, and was more worried that she'd be upset that I had those desires. Turns out, she loved it once she felt confident that I really did want it, and eventually she did it for me.

Obviously, you've got to do what's right for you and your marriage. But as you work through this, one thing to consider is to be honest with her, and relieve her from her guilt or shame. Some might be tempted to weaponize her betrayal, to use it to get power in the relationship. I think that the best thing to do would be to be completely honest with her. Tell her exactly how you feel. Confused by the conflict raging in your head, and making sure to reveal that it turns you on.

Let her off the hook. Ironically enough, you may even want to apologize for any angry reactions you had, or unkind words. Acknowledge that they came from a place of anger, but that now that you realize how much it excited you, that you wish you hadn't said those things. When things feel like they've OK between you, during an initiate moment, ask her to tell you details about fucking him. She may balk. If so, put her hand on your raging hard-on so she can see how your are aroused. If she is reluctant, go ahead and start for her. Tell her how exciting it has been for you to think about how she sucked his dick on your couch, and whatever other visuals you have that excite you.

After you cum, you may find that you are flooded with the hurt or angry feelings. So just be ready for them. Don't react to them, Try your best to zen and not reveal them in that moment at least. They'll pass, but you don't want to set up a dynamic where your wife is alternately coaxed to share this with you and then made to feel bad for hurting you. That can be tough at first, but you really need to control that. Man up or whatever you say to yourself.

Good advice esp the bit about not alternately coaxing her and then getting upset with her - that would really mess with her head x

 

[Craigatore]

How has it turned up? Are still okay with her fucking around or did you change your mind?

 

[traddis]

I am in a very unexpected situation and I don’t know how to react or how to understand my feelings. My wife and I have been married for 13 years and as part of my job I travel a lot. A recent trip wrapped up early so I hopped in the car to drive home a day earlier then expected. My wife is always happy when I am able to cut a trip short and come home early.

But this time when I got home I received a shock. I walked in the house and my wife was in the living room naked expect for heels and bent over the couch getting fucked from behind. I was in such shock that I didn’t know how to react and I froze. It took a moment for them to realize I was there and I was everything in what seemed like slow motion. My wife freaked when she saw me and the guy backed away. Now I was staring at them naked and just left the house. I came back about an hour later and we talked. She has been cheating on me with him for a few months.

I am upset but utterly confused by some of the other feelings. When I think about it I am actually getting somewhat turned on. I can picture in my mind what she looked like bent over, getting pounded from behind with her big tits flopping around from how hard she was taking it. Then when she was standing there naked with the guy I saw that he in fact had a real life bbc.

This type of thing never occurred to me that I would get any enjoyment out of it but in a confusing way it turns me on.

she obviously enjoys other men, I think it,s more of an acceptance to compliments that turns a woman on, she needs to be constantly reminded that she is attractive and that men find her fuckable. Your wife, no doubt, will tire of her new man because he will stop complimenting her. Now you either accept her need for compliments from other men and try to join in or you start praising her and hope she will hold only to you. Women enjoy marriage and all that that encompasses, home, family, security, status but they also need a little excitement on occasion which isn't necessarily being fucked by another man. Just to feel and be recognised as 'gorgeous' maybe all that is needed.