Considering the lifestyle

[mcdoo00oogle]

Hi all, new to the lifestyle. It started with me finding my wife sexting another guy in a different state, but it became a sexual awakening for us after we sat and talked about. We've had amazing sex ever since but now she's not sure about taking the next step with the new man she's talking too.

I am trying to encourage her to send him more nudes and find some time to go see him and take some vids/photos and have a good time, but I think she's a bit apprehensive to the idea despite my overwhelming support. We get off just dirty talking in bed about a 3some or just taking turns with her, she's never been wetter since we started doing this.

How should I help her get to the point where she feels comfortable openly sharing her experiences with me so we're all happy?

I'm 33, she's 32 and she's talking at a 26 year old dude

 

[SilverBerry]

Take your time. How long has it been since you found her sexting this other guy?

My wife and I are both 32, been married almost 11 years, and I was in a very similar situation as you are now. She had been sexting a previous coworker. When I found out, I was hurt, angry, and felt like I couldn't trust her, but also very turned on and kind of wanted her to keep doing it. We were high school sweethearts and had never been with anyone else, so it made sense she was interested in other guys. This played out over several years with her talking to him on and off, but it was a year and a half ago when I finally divulged my fantasies with her of her being with another guy and how much it turned me on. Things stayed a fantasy in the bedroom 8 months or so before she finally started texting him again and things took off from there. Another 6 months of texting and flirting, some pictures, and she finally met him solo this past March.

Don't push it too hard, enjoy this stage of it being a fantasy, and continue encouraging her to sext him back, maybe dress up for the photos. Ease into things so both you and her stay on the same page.

 

[mcdoo00oogle]

Take your time. How long has it been since you found her sexting this other guy?

My wife and I are both 32, been married almost 11 years, and I was in a very similar situation as you are now. She had been sexting a previous coworker. When I found out, I was hurt, angry, and felt like I couldn't trust her, but also very turned on and kind of wanted her to keep doing it. We were high school sweethearts and had never been with anyone else, so it made sense she was interested in other guys. This played out over several years with her talking to him on and off, but it was a year and a half ago when I finally divulged my fantasies with her of her being with another guy and how much it turned me on. Things stayed a fantasy in the bedroom 8 months or so before she finally started texting him again and things took off from there. Another 6 months of texting and flirting, some pictures, and she finally met him solo this past March.

Don't push it too hard, enjoy this stage of it being a fantasy, and continue encouraging her to sext him back, maybe dress up for the photos. Ease into things so both you and her stay on the same page.

Very similar to my situation, we were high school sweethearts, she's been sexting since about May but as far as I can tell its pretty much stopped since she got caught. She told the guy that I found out and she was in a long relationship with me, he still wants to continue but I think the dynamic changed too much. I want her to be comfortable with it still but she may feel unsure now if its what she wants. Only time will tell but I'm definitely taking it slow

How frequently did you bring up the other guy when you are at this stage? Am I too forward and eager for things to progress that I'm scaring the wife off?

 

[SilverBerry]

Have you two had a lot of discussion regarding her sneaking behind your back about it? I know that’s one thing that took my wife and I months if not years to get through before I was ok with her texting him again. We had to rebuild trust first before we could move forward. And during that phase, talking with anyone else was off the table. When she started texting him again, it was under the stipulation that I had access to her conversations (a lot due to the fact that it turned me on and I like reading them lol).

 

[mcdoo00oogle]

Have you two had a lot of discussion regarding her sneaking behind your back about it? I know that’s one thing that took my wife and I months if not years to get through before I was ok with her texting him again. We had to rebuild trust first before we could move forward. And during that phase, talking with anyone else was off the table. When she started texting him again, it was under the stipulation that I had access to her conversations (a lot due to the fact that it turned me on and I like reading them lol).

We definitely talked about her sneaking and that's kinda what sparked the idea of us exploring the idea of her having a bf while being with me. I didn't put any stipulations down that she must show me but I did let her know that it turns me on and that I wouldn't have any negative feelings in seeing it.

Yesterday we actually had amazing sex and she showed me what her and her bf were doing on the side and it only made us both more into it. I think she is coming around to the idea and she says she likes feeling desired by other guys too because it makes her feel sexy. At this point I'm benefiting from that so I have no issue.

She sometimes feels guilty that she might be leading the other guy on which has been eating at her conscious a little. But he knows that we are in a 10 year relationship so in my opinion he knows what he's up against and its on him if he wants to continue. So far he isn't chased off so we well see where it goes