Do Female Led Relationships (FLR) Really Exit?

NH1980

Male
Nov 14, 2022
23
37
13
Another one of my academic questions, years of research (stories, posts, videos) but no practical experience, and each time FLR crops up it make me wonder whether they really exist.

I’ve seen many FLR accounts, even ‘serious’ ones in proper society magazines (like vogue, cosmo etc.) and here is a typical example of what I have read

  • The female makes all the decisions, where they live, what house to buy, what cars to own, etc.
  • Wife doesn’t work
  • Male works, but his earnings are paid directly into the female’s bank account
  • Male gets a small allowance to pay for essentials. If he wants more he has to ask the Female and is usually declined.
  • Male has to do all the chores
  • Male is in permanent chastity, no penetrative sex
  • Male has to satisfy wife orally on demand, and is sometimes pegged
  • Male has to pamper female
  • The male gets punished at the female’s whim
  • Female has any many sexual partners as she wants
  • The female claims that she is in control, has all the power
  • etc.
In many cases the couple seems to be genuinely living this lifestyle, it is not fiction, fantasy, acting for paid productions, there is a lot of that, but there are the ones that seem genuine.

And for those I find myself thinking, is that really FLR or is it actually MLR (Male Led Relationship), and here is my thought process:

Agreed there will be cases where the female is holding something over the male, perhaps she earns considerably more and if he wants to share that then these are the rules, or the female is out of his league so if he wants to stay with her these are the rules, or the male has committed some serious indiscretion and if he doesn’t want the female to take action (divorce him, report him etc) then these are the rules. That is a dominant lifestyle and I agree that would be classed as FLR but I also imagine that it is quite rare.

But for the majority, I think that all the things that are happening in the lifestyle are what the man wants, what the man has asked for, what the man has agreed to. In reality, the man might have agreed to have his earnings paid into the female‘s bank account but at any time he could walk into HR/Accounts and say that he wanted to change the bank account. He is permanently caged but if he decided he didn’t want that any more there is no way that most females would be able to force it on. He is happy for her to have other partners but if he changed his mind and said “no more” she would have to stop or face divorce - and if that happened, pretty sure that her bulls would run a mile if she asked them to take care and provide for her.

So personally, I think that true FLRs are extremely rare, much rarer than advertised, and that the majority of FLRs are really MLRs because it is the man dictating the lifestyle even though he is choosing to be submissive in it. Not saying that the female doesn’t enjoy it, just that it is really the male that is in the driving seat, making the decisions.
 
Last edited:
I can’t believe that these FLR relationships that you describe are anything more than the smallest statistical frequency. I’m sure they are out there but in numbers like the chance you’ll see a Clouded Snow Leopard in the wild with your own eyes. Even the practicality of a wife taking on the effort of being “always in charge of all things all the time“ doesn’t sound appealing.

Even if chores and duties are off loaded to the male it s sounds like more work for the female to maintain the discipline and attitude. A female can’t just rule without inspiring a male to follow her. At some point if the pet isn’t fed it will look for food somewhere else. In ANY relationship both parties need a reason to keep on wanting to be together. I would guess that there would be a lot of pressure on a wife to pull off an FLR that lasted for a lifetime together.
 
I'm sure just a very tiny percentage of relationships fit exactly your outline.

On the other hand, some FLR situations really do exist, but with prior agreement, and also some relationships that just slid over to that, particularly the decision making aspect.

I don't think chastity will always be 100% in the equation either.

There are definitely guys into being a service sub. Some will only want to do that at parties or around sex, but some are more domestic in general. I think you'd find a few more relationships like your outline, except that the husband will have a little more influence on decisions than fantasy permits, AND the wife will be the higher paid salary earner.
 
I'm sure just a very tiny percentage of relationships fit exactly your outline.

On the other hand, some FLR situations really do exist, but with prior agreement, and also some relationships that just slid over to that, particularly the decision making aspect.

But that’s my own point, it’s not really ‘Female Led‘ if the aspects of the lifestyle have to be mutually agreed. If the man, or the woman, says”no” then it doesn’t happen. Or if it does then it becomes something toxic.

I’d also go as far as saying that the majority of hotwife/cuckold lifestyles are instigated by the man. If the man were to never raise the issue then in the majority of cases it would not happen.
 
  • Like
Reactions: owlmale
But that’s my own point, it’s not really ‘Female Led‘ if the aspects of the lifestyle have to be mutually agreed. If the man, or the woman, says”no” then it doesn’t happen. Or if it does then it becomes something toxic.

I’d also go as far as saying that the majority of hotwife/cuckold lifestyles are instigated by the man. If the man were to never raise the issue then in the majority of cases it would not happen.
That's true, that more than half of cuckold relationships are asked for by the man. Supposedly there's a slight increase in women asking for it. It is possible that most of these one-sided open relationships are most often asked for by the person that does not plan to seek other sex partners. It seems somewhat less acceptable for the one that wants more lovers to make the decision and ask for it. If we look at cuckquean relationships. I don't know for sure, but I bet more than half of the time it is the woman that makes the suggestion that the guy should shag other women, for both of their enjoyment. On r/sexover30 the topic of cuckqueaning has come of a few times. A couple of posts got really good replies. The cuckquean subreddits can have too many fakes, the general sex sub was better for seeing real women post about it. In the relationships that the women posted about, they brought up the idea to their husband.

So, suggesting it might not be a matter of who is leading, but who thinks saying such a thing won't blow up the relationship.
 
I can only comment on our FLM. My wife and I grew up together and were kind of like bf/gf thru all our teens accept she was always in charge and never really considered me as a boy she wanted have sex with. The reason was that I was a whimpy sissy type and was grossely under endowed. She was a very hot looker and quite assertive.When we were just 7or 8 yo she would watch my mother whip my ass when getting punished. My mother was old school Irish and did not spare the rod. Shanon my future wife lived next door and loved to lure me out of the yard so I would end up getting whipped in front of her.As we got older she developed the habit of doing a variety of humiliating things to me that seemed to greatly amuse her. Odd thing was, I started to enjoy these things too,especially when we reached puberty. Why would a hot looking girl be so interested in in a wimp like me? And why would a guy tolerate humiliation and shameing from from a girl? It seems she had a need to do this to me and I seemed to actually enjoy it. I knew she was way out of my league and so considered it cool that she would even relate to me at all. Maybe in the back of my mind I hoped she would change and see me as regular guy. Her motivation was a deep down pleasure she got from having such controll over a guy. Other guys wouldn't have any of it, they would react to her in a macho way which satisfied another part of her but I was the only one to supply this sado-dominant pleasure she possesed. This became the model for our marriage later on. We fell in love in our late teens and had this dom/sub behavoir as the core of our relationship. We have rules much like the ones you cited. She is in complete charge and I am obedient to her.She punishes me for misbehavior and sometines just for her amusement. She says it makes her horny and sex is better with her lovers if she canes me first. She also works and is a successful business woman. I have a menial job as a sewing machine operator. My entire pay is direct deposited into her account.Since I must spend all my off hours at home doing housework I dont need money and I'm not allowed to handle it. I'm not allowed to drive. I'm kept in a chastity cage and not alowed any sex while she freely has men at the house for sex. She goes on weekend trips and vacations with different lovers while I must stay home and do special projects. In spite of all this, I'm not her prisoner. I could grow a set of balls and divorce her but I'm the prisoner of my own submissive nature. I don't have the skills to go out in the world and sutain myself. As she says
" you're not man enough to make it on your own." and she's right I'm just a weakling and only know how to relate to women in a submissive manner. The important point is that I have no desire to leave. My submissiveness and love of humiliation under her strict rule is indelible.I enjoy my position in the marriage and could not be happy any other way. I know I'm not a man and couldn't enjoy being in a superior or even an equal position with woman. For me it's a privilege to be at my beautiful wifes feet. This is no doubt a rare type of marriage and I know of others with variations, some less strict but the FLM seems to be a growing trend. I think a persons childhood has a effect on what kind or relationships they have in adulthood. My wifes natural or maybe learned dominant traits and my learned submissive traits fit like a glove. It was pure fate and chance that we happened to live next door to one another..
 
Another one of my academic questions, years of research (stories, posts, videos) but no practical experience, and each time FLR crops up it make me wonder whether they really exist.

I’ve seen many FLR accounts, even ‘serious’ ones in proper society magazines (like vogue, cosmo etc.) and here is a typical example of what I have read

  • The female makes all the decisions, where they live, what house to buy, what cars to own, etc.
  • Wife doesn’t work
  • Male works, but his earnings are paid directly into the female’s bank account
  • Male gets a small allowance to pay for essentials. If he wants more he has to ask the Female and is usually declined.
  • Male has to do all the chores
  • Male is in permanent chastity, no penetrative sex
  • Male has to satisfy wife orally on demand, and is sometimes pegged
  • Male has to pamper female
  • The male gets punished at the female’s whim
  • Female has any many sexual partners as she wants
  • The female claims that she is in control, has all the power
  • etc.
In many cases the couple seems to be genuinely living this lifestyle, it is not fiction, fantasy, acting for paid productions, there is a lot of that, but there are the ones that seem genuine.

And for those I find myself thinking, is that really FLR or is it actually MLR (Male Led Relationship), and here is my thought process:

Agreed there will be cases where the female is holding something over the male, perhaps she earns considerably more and if he wants to share that then these are the rules, or the female is out of his league so if he wants to stay with her these are the rules, or the male has committed some serious indiscretion and if he doesn’t want the female to take action (divorce him, report him etc) then these are the rules. That is a dominant lifestyle and I agree that would be classed as FLR but I also imagine that it is quite rare.

But for the majority, I think that all the things that are happening in the lifestyle are what the man wants, what the man has asked for, what the man has agreed to. In reality, the man might have agreed to have his earnings paid into the female‘s bank account but at any time he could walk into HR/Accounts and say that he wanted to change the bank account. He is permanently caged but if he decided he didn’t want that any more there is no way that most females would be able to force it on. He is happy for her to have other partners but if he changed his mind and said “no more” she would have to stop or face divorce - and if that happened, pretty sure that her bulls would run a mile if she asked them to take care and provide for her.

So personally, I think that true FLRs are extremely rare, much rarer than advertised, and that the majority of FLRs are really MLRs because it is the man dictating the lifestyle even though he is choosing to be submissive in it. Not saying that the female doesn’t enjoy it, just that it is really the male that is in the driving seat, making the decisions.
In the S/m world this is called topping from the bottom. In most cases as you pointed out it's only fantasy play and neither partner is ultimately committed and can call it quits at any time. Topping from the bottom is just as it sounds, where the submissive partner actually dictates the conditions of the relationship. In the S/m world this is considered a conflict since in it's truest form the Dom is supposed to have full and unquestioning controll and the sub accepts all decisions and actions of the Dom. In a standard FLM the wife has full authority and the husband takes a submissive position.But in some cases she may entertain his input in her decision making but the ultimate choice is still hers and he doesn't have the power to override her authority.Of cource either partner has the right to dissolve the whole thing or change the level of strictness after all it's not slavery. I have read some cases where men who have high powered jobs and make a lot of decisions and give out orders to subordinates all day enjoy comming home to wife who is in charge.It serves as a relief to not have give orders but to take them. It's restfull for him and maybe even sexual for the wife to give him a break from his daily grind.
 
I really want to live like this! :love: There are such things, but it is not complete!

"The female makes all the decisions, where they live, what house to buy, what cars to own, etc.
Wife doesn’t work
Male works, but his earnings are paid directly into the female’s bank account
Male gets a small allowance to pay for essentials. If he wants more he has to ask the Female and is usually declined.
Male has to do all the chores
Male is in permanent chastity, no penetrative sex
Male has to satisfy wife orally on demand, and is sometimes pegged
Male has to pamper female
The male gets punished at the female’s whim
Female has any many sexual partners as she wants
The female claims that she is in control, has all the power"

30092409.jpg07_no_pussy.jpg04_no_handjob.jpgWhen I'm a whore_3.jpg23384431.jpg
 
I live in a Female Led Relationship and it's not nearly as kinky as almost everyone on this thread imagines.

Basically, she makes a lot of money and has a lot of time off. So I stay at home and work as her "househusband, pool boy and sexretary."

I have sex with her on a nearly daily basis. I'm not locked in chastity except briefly and on very rare occasions. We have an agreement that she literally owns my cock and we do have a Hotwife type sexual arrangement. However, important decisions are made mutually with her getting 51 percent of the vote. Still, she considers my opinions and frequently shifts her ideas based on my ideas. Other times I might concede, saying something like "you make the money so you can spend the money." She doesn't punish me for anything. It's D/s but not BDSM.

On a day to day basis, we're much like any other couple. I do fetch drinks and snacks for her, do most of the household chores and perform fun services such as planning vacations during her ample time off. Even though we've been involved in the swing lifestyle scene for more than 20 years, she did decide that I would return to being monogamous to her four years ago. That's about as much of a one-sided decision she's ever made but I've accepted it because we still have a lot of sexy Hotwife fun, enjoy clothing-optional resorts and beaches during our travels as well as going out to swing clubs or driving off to Michigan to pick up certain supplies.

Mainly we have a great time together day in and day out. She enjoys being the princess and I really enjoy my submissive role.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Backwoodsman179
I live in a Female Led Relationship and it's not nearly as kinky as almost everyone on this thread imagines.

Basically, she makes a lot of money and has a lot of time off. So I stay at home and work as her "househusband, pool boy and sexretary."

I have sex with her on a nearly daily basis. I'm not locked in chastity except briefly and on very rare occasions. We have an agreement that she literally owns my cock and we do have a Hotwife type sexual arrangement. However, important decisions are made mutually with her getting 51 percent of the vote. Still, she considers my opinions and frequently shifts her ideas based on my ideas. Other times I might concede, saying something like "you make the money so you can spend the money." She doesn't punish me for anything. It's D/s but not BDSM.

On a day to day basis, we're much like any other couple. I do fetch drinks and snacks for her, do most of the household chores and perform fun services such as planning vacations during her ample time off. Even though we've been involved in the swing lifestyle scene for more than 20 years, she did decide that I would return to being monogamous to her four years ago. That's about as much of a one-sided decision she's ever made but I've accepted it because we still have a lot of sexy Hotwife fun, enjoy clothing-optional resorts and beaches during our travels as well as going out to swing clubs or driving off to Michigan to pick up certain supplies.

Mainly we have a great time together day in and day out. She enjoys being the princess and I really enjoy my submissive role.
Does she feel that in general women should run the household and marriages or is it just unique to your case?
 
Does she feel that in general women should run the household and marriages or is it just unique to your case?
No, she doesn't project her own preferences on to other women. She understands that some women just haven't been conditioned to accept a leadership role in a relationship and wouldn't want a relationship like ours.
 
No, she doesn't project her own preferences on to other women. She understands that some women just haven't been conditioned to accept a leadership role in a relationship and wouldn't want a relationship like ours.
Interesting that most women are told or conditioned from childhood that they should be subordinate in our society when many of them, probably half would make better leaders. I think most alpha males strongly resist women in leadership roles.
 
Another one of my academic questions, years of research (stories, posts, videos) but no practical experience, and each time FLR crops up it make me wonder whether they really exist.

I’ve seen many FLR accounts, even ‘serious’ ones in proper society magazines (like vogue, cosmo etc.) and here is a typical example of what I have read

  • The female makes all the decisions, where they live, what house to buy, what cars to own, etc.
  • Wife doesn’t work
  • Male works, but his earnings are paid directly into the female’s bank account
  • Male gets a small allowance to pay for essentials. If he wants more he has to ask the Female and is usually declined.
  • Male has to do all the chores
  • Male is in permanent chastity, no penetrative sex
  • Male has to satisfy wife orally on demand, and is sometimes pegged
  • Male has to pamper female
  • The male gets punished at the female’s whim
  • Female has any many sexual partners as she wants
  • The female claims that she is in control, has all the power
  • etc.
In many cases the couple seems to be genuinely living this lifestyle, it is not fiction, fantasy, acting for paid productions, there is a lot of that, but there are the ones that seem genuine.

And for those I find myself thinking, is that really FLR or is it actually MLR (Male Led Relationship), and here is my thought process:

Agreed there will be cases where the female is holding something over the male, perhaps she earns considerably more and if he wants to share that then these are the rules, or the female is out of his league so if he wants to stay with her these are the rules, or the male has committed some serious indiscretion and if he doesn’t want the female to take action (divorce him, report him etc) then these are the rules. That is a dominant lifestyle and I agree that would be classed as FLR but I also imagine that it is quite rare.

But for the majority, I think that all the things that are happening in the lifestyle are what the man wants, what the man has asked for, what the man has agreed to. In reality, the man might have agreed to have his earnings paid into the female‘s bank account but at any time he could walk into HR/Accounts and say that he wanted to change the bank account. He is permanently caged but if he decided he didn’t want that any more there is no way that most females would be able to force it on. He is happy for her to have other partners but if he changed his mind and said “no more” she would have to stop or face divorce - and if that happened, pretty sure that her bulls would run a mile if she asked them to take care and provide for her.

So personally, I think that true FLRs are extremely rare, much rarer than advertised, and that the majority of FLRs are really MLRs because it is the man dictating the lifestyle even though he is choosing to be submissive in it. Not saying that the female doesn’t enjoy it, just that it is really the male that is in the driving seat, making the decisions.
I have no.problem.with some parts of ,FLR but no money alllowance what house to buy etc NO FUCKING WAY even if she makes more money. WHENi it comes to major things it WILL.BE JOINT and as far as sex spme denial.can be fuck but total denial wont happen im not gettimg married to.be a slave
 
that,s my fantasy,living in a FLR society,using men as obedient sluts,and where men must be dressed sexy,lingerie&high heels is a must and i wear this everyday now,so no problem for me,OMG just the thought to be overpowered&controlled by women,doing all the housework,cleaning&do the dirty laundry,getting a smack on your ass when she says i,m a sexy tease in my miniskirt&thigh highs&high heels,i would do anything for women in this naughty society,i,m curious what women would demand from us?
 

Attachments

  • teasing&showing off.jpg
    teasing&showing off.jpg
    11.4 KB · Views: 3
  • Like
Reactions: Backwoodsman179
I really want to live like this! :love: There are such things, but it is not complete!

"The female makes all the decisions, where they live, what house to buy, what cars to own, etc.
Wife doesn’t work
Male works, but his earnings are paid directly into the female’s bank account
Male gets a small allowance to pay for essentials. If he wants more he has to ask the Female and is usually declined.
Male has to do all the chores
Male is in permanent chastity, no penetrative sex
Male has to satisfy wife orally on demand, and is sometimes pegged
Male has to pamper female
The male gets punished at the female’s whim
Female has any many sexual partners as she wants
The female claims that she is in control, has all the power"

View attachment 1411638View attachment 1411650View attachment 1411651View attachment 1411652View attachment 1411654
You need to.read ELISE SUTTON THEY ARE TOTAL.FLR there is one thing about an FLR RELATIONSHIP BUT TOTALLY EXTREME THAT HUBBY HAS NO RIGHTS THATS TOTALLY WRONG YOU REALLY AMAN SUBMISSION TO SEX WZNTS ETC IS FINE BUT ALL.THE OTHER THI GS NO WAY WOULD I PUT UP WITH IT
 
  • Like
Reactions: naturalcucky
You need to.read ELISE SUTTON THEY ARE TOTAL.FLR there is one thing about an FLR RELATIONSHIP BUT TOTALLY EXTREME THAT HUBBY HAS NO RIGHTS THATS TOTALLY WRONG YOU REALLY AMAN SUBMISSION TO SEX WZNTS ETC IS FINE BUT ALL.THE OTHER THI GS NO WAY WOULD I PUT UP WITH IT
I'm vaguely familiar with Elise Sutton. This is the third time I've had this same arguement with you CONST65. I know you wouldnt agree to give up your full manhood for the amusement and pleasure a woman gets from it but others would. My wife owns me. That means she can deny me sex, forbid me to leave the house, not allow me to drive and controll my life in every way. I have no rights and must do all the work in exchange for the privilege of living with her. If I misbehave I accept that I will be punished with her whip and other ways. I also accept that I will always be pussy free and banished from her bed while her lover fucks her at will.The privilege of licking up her lovers cum mess is reward enough for me.I've been shown I'm not a man and deserve to live at this lowly status.
 
I'm vaguely familiar with Elise Sutton. This is the third time I've had this same arguement with you CONST65. I know you wouldnt agree to give up your full manhood for the amusement and pleasure a woman gets from it but others would. My wife owns me. That means she can deny me sex, forbid me to leave the house, not allow me to drive and controll my life in every way. I have no rights and must do all the work in exchange for the privilege of living with her. If I misbehave I accept that I will be punished with her whip and other ways. I also accept that I will always be pussy free and banished from her bed while her lover fucks her at will.The privilege of licking up her lovers cum mess is reward enough for me.I've been shown I'm not a man and deserve to live at this lowly status.
So why be married to