Do Female Led Relationships (FLR) Really Exit?

[NH1980]

Another one of my academic questions, years of research (stories, posts, videos) but no practical experience, and each time FLR crops up it make me wonder whether they really exist.

I’ve seen many FLR accounts, even ‘serious’ ones in proper society magazines (like vogue, cosmo etc.) and here is a typical example of what I have read

• The female makes all the decisions, where they live, what house to buy, what cars to own, etc.
• Wife doesn’t work
• Male works, but his earnings are paid directly into the female’s bank account
• Male gets a small allowance to pay for essentials. If he wants more he has to ask the Female and is usually declined.
• Male has to do all the chores
• Male is in permanent chastity, no penetrative sex
• Male has to satisfy wife orally on demand, and is sometimes pegged
• Male has to pamper female
• The male gets punished at the female’s whim
• Female has any many sexual partners as she wants
• The female claims that she is in control, has all the power
• etc.

In many cases the couple seems to be genuinely living this lifestyle, it is not fiction, fantasy, acting for paid productions, there is a lot of that, but there are the ones that seem genuine.

And for those I find myself thinking, is that really FLR or is it actually MLR (Male Led Relationship), and here is my thought process:

Agreed there will be cases where the female is holding something over the male, perhaps she earns considerably more and if he wants to share that then these are the rules, or the female is out of his league so if he wants to stay with her these are the rules, or the male has committed some serious indiscretion and if he doesn’t want the female to take action (divorce him, report him etc) then these are the rules. That is a dominant lifestyle and I agree that would be classed as FLR but I also imagine that it is quite rare.

But for the majority, I think that all the things that are happening in the lifestyle are what the man wants, what the man has asked for, what the man has agreed to. In reality, the man might have agreed to have his earnings paid into the female‘s bank account but at any time he could walk into HR/Accounts and say that he wanted to change the bank account. He is permanently caged but if he decided he didn’t want that any more there is no way that most females would be able to force it on. He is happy for her to have other partners but if he changed his mind and said “no more” she would have to stop or face divorce - and if that happened, pretty sure that her bulls would run a mile if she asked them to take care and provide for her.

So personally, I think that true FLRs are extremely rare, much rarer than advertised, and that the majority of FLRs are really MLRs because it is the man dictating the lifestyle even though he is choosing to be submissive in it. Not saying that the female doesn’t enjoy it, just that it is really the male that is in the driving seat, making the decisions.

 

[coastalkid]

I can’t believe that these FLR relationships that you describe are anything more than the smallest statistical frequency. I’m sure they are out there but in numbers like the chance you’ll see a Clouded Snow Leopard in the wild with your own eyes. Even the practicality of a wife taking on the effort of being “always in charge of all things all the time“ doesn’t sound appealing.

Even if chores and duties are off loaded to the male it s sounds like more work for the female to maintain the discipline and attitude. A female can’t just rule without inspiring a male to follow her. At some point if the pet isn’t fed it will look for food somewhere else. In ANY relationship both parties need a reason to keep on wanting to be together. I would guess that there would be a lot of pressure on a wife to pull off an FLR that lasted for a lifetime together.

 

[Cuckcoupleforfun]

Don’t see many of these types of relationships happening

 

[Kippie]

I'm sure just a very tiny percentage of relationships fit exactly your outline.

On the other hand, some FLR situations really do exist, but with prior agreement, and also some relationships that just slid over to that, particularly the decision making aspect.

I don't think chastity will always be 100% in the equation either.

There are definitely guys into being a service sub. Some will only want to do that at parties or around sex, but some are more domestic in general. I think you'd find a few more relationships like your outline, except that the husband will have a little more influence on decisions than fantasy permits, AND the wife will be the higher paid salary earner.

 

[NH1980]

I'm sure just a very tiny percentage of relationships fit exactly your outline.

On the other hand, some FLR situations really do exist, but with prior agreement, and also some relationships that just slid over to that, particularly the decision making aspect.

But that’s my own point, it’s not really ‘Female Led‘ if the aspects of the lifestyle have to be mutually agreed. If the man, or the woman, says”no” then it doesn’t happen. Or if it does then it becomes something toxic.

I’d also go as far as saying that the majority of hotwife/cuckold lifestyles are instigated by the man. If the man were to never raise the issue then in the majority of cases it would not happen.

 

[Kippie]

But that’s my own point, it’s not really ‘Female Led‘ if the aspects of the lifestyle have to be mutually agreed. If the man, or the woman, says”no” then it doesn’t happen. Or if it does then it becomes something toxic.

I’d also go as far as saying that the majority of hotwife/cuckold lifestyles are instigated by the man. If the man were to never raise the issue then in the majority of cases it would not happen.

That's true, that more than half of cuckold relationships are asked for by the man. Supposedly there's a slight increase in women asking for it. It is possible that most of these one-sided open relationships are most often asked for by the person that does not plan to seek other sex partners. It seems somewhat less acceptable for the one that wants more lovers to make the decision and ask for it. If we look at cuckquean relationships. I don't know for sure, but I bet more than half of the time it is the woman that makes the suggestion that the guy should shag other women, for both of their enjoyment. On r/sexover30 the topic of cuckqueaning has come of a few times. A couple of posts got really good replies. The cuckquean subreddits can have too many fakes, the general sex sub was better for seeing real women post about it. In the relationships that the women posted about, they brought up the idea to their husband.

So, suggesting it might not be a matter of who is leading, but who thinks saying such a thing won't blow up the relationship.

 

[Sgt Ray]

Can we just leave it as its FLR because both she AND he want it that way.

As to cuckold relationships, he wants her to cuck him...and she enjoys taking advantage of it and him. She gets to have her cake and eat it too.
And he cleans everything up...because he wants to.

 

[owlmale]

I love being around women taking charge in sexual setting, my wife to submissive so I go to mature asian women for my submissive cravings.