First Date Nerves

Ok, here goes 😶

I’m Jennie, 27, and have been with my bf Mark since forever, in fact he’s the only guy i’ve ever been with. However, over the last (seriously, like 5 years…) he’s been going on about a fantasy of me being with other guys. To cut a long story short, but I can elaborate if you want, this hasn’t been easy for me to deal with or fathom in my mind, especially as it just started with just some light comments during sex, all the way to much more recently where he’s been sending me all sorts of things to read on all kinds of forums (including this one) about everything to do with this sort of stuff. He’s been on this site for years, and now, today, so I am.
I’m not exactly an outgoing person, i’m pretty shy and reserved to put it mildly, so you can probably imagine (I hope!) that this has been very difficult, in fact i’ve had more than a few tearful exchanges about this over the years. I’ve felt all kinds of weird emotions and doubts and worries about our relationship and I know he’s tried his best to explain and everything, but still, it’s been a lot to process!
Again, trying but failing to keep this brief, part of our deal together was that I join this forum too and start posting, so here I am, and as the title says, I have my first ‘date’ tomorrow night (long story about fixing that up), and I can’t remember being this nervous about anything for years. All help is gratefully received, I can’t quite believe i’m doing this.

Jen
Hi Jen, if you're just doing this to keep him happy, then you need to take a long, hard think about your relationship. From a wealth of personal experience and that of watching other relationships implode - not to mention a litany of similar stories here - you of all people must be into this.

It's ok to be nervous at first, but if you are not properly on board with this, then it's a serious problem and you need to sit down with Mark and work it out because it will eat into your relationship.

If you do decide to go ahead with it, then put yourself in the driving seat. You set the rules and Mark must obey (he'll probably get a kick out of that). Or else. And go at your own pace. You choose the guy, where, when, how. It may also be an opportunity to try out any kinks you have that you were too embarrassed to ask Mark to do.

But do not feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to do. Know that you can walk away at any time.

Let us know how the date went.

Bear