I'm not sure what would possess someone to stoop so low as to lie about having a similar mindset and then afterwards, not respond to calls, texts, emails...etc. A few of our threesome partners swore that they had been searching for a friends with benefits type relationship with a couple (it was even on their profile) and they were masterful liars and manipulators...in the end. We met a few times, had great conversations...laughed...etc...and thought we actually met a decent person. We talked on the phone and really seemed to connect with them. Then...afterwards, they vanished into thin air and were non responsive to any attempts to contact them. They said they had a wonderful experience and that they were so glad we met....etc. But...then, "poof" - gone. This really starts to make you question humanity. They lie, bold faced "lie" to someone's face. They have sex with your wife...pretty much use her and vanish. That is criminal, in my eyes. You got together under false pretenses and "knew" you were going to bail ahead of time. This makes me sick to think about. Who else agrees that this type of behavior is the highest level of bullshit? It pretty much destroyed my wife's self esteem for awhile and put tremendous emotional pressure on her. It would be completely different if we had agreed to have a one night fling. But....these guys swore and promised that they were different. We vetted them out diligently and spend time getting to know them. They still "fucked us over"...no pun intended. What do you think about this?
Friends with benefits...
- Thread starter Curious_one
- Start date
I had to think through my response a while to come up with anything useful for you. Then it hit me: it’s your locale.
You know it’s about the sex, and you know dudes will say whatever to get in panties. But you’re right that even when it’s NSA, some percentage of guys should pride themselves on being gentlemen.
Let’s compare our home locale in Louisiana to one visited recently. At home, the culture matches our lifestyle pretty well. There’s a variety of dudes and it’s always possible to keep looking — if you use the right site.
The place recently visited? About 3x the population, with a whopping total of five guys looking. The difference is nuts considering home is in the Deep South and other place isn’t.
Even at home, it’s a mixed bag. Some dudes tap it and bail. Others become friends. Some want to be regular fwb and still others want more. Some will stand you up. Others thrive on pleasing a woman.
Other place? Absolutely all 5 looking for unapproved extramarital NSA affairs. Dishonest with their wives off the bat, how would they be with someone they just see as strange tail?
Places vary pretty damn wildly, and not always in ways we’d expect.
Try looking nearby but far enough away that the local culture isn’t the same. I bet you’ll find better.
Oh! Hit it and quit it dudes won’t work for it usually. Meet up to just chill someplace public and safe a few times. See if they’ll pursue just a little.
You know it’s about the sex, and you know dudes will say whatever to get in panties. But you’re right that even when it’s NSA, some percentage of guys should pride themselves on being gentlemen.
Let’s compare our home locale in Louisiana to one visited recently. At home, the culture matches our lifestyle pretty well. There’s a variety of dudes and it’s always possible to keep looking — if you use the right site.
The place recently visited? About 3x the population, with a whopping total of five guys looking. The difference is nuts considering home is in the Deep South and other place isn’t.
Even at home, it’s a mixed bag. Some dudes tap it and bail. Others become friends. Some want to be regular fwb and still others want more. Some will stand you up. Others thrive on pleasing a woman.
Other place? Absolutely all 5 looking for unapproved extramarital NSA affairs. Dishonest with their wives off the bat, how would they be with someone they just see as strange tail?
Places vary pretty damn wildly, and not always in ways we’d expect.
Try looking nearby but far enough away that the local culture isn’t the same. I bet you’ll find better.
Oh! Hit it and quit it dudes won’t work for it usually. Meet up to just chill someplace public and safe a few times. See if they’ll pursue just a little.
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