Girlfriend >Wife > Girlfriend to another man> Vixen> Hotwife > ?

[Phun Times 727]

In a nutshell I wanted to watch her in a threesome with 2 other men and revealed that to her. After some fuss we started moving in that direction and kind of detoured into her having a year long boyfriend with whom we had many threesomes on top of her having endless solo encounters. It was great while it lasted but it has ended. We have a hotwife friend whom we lean on for some help, advice and connections. My wife is open to the idea of expanding her sexual prowess and we are using the bulls available to us to move in that direction. While I currently am not participating I do plan to get back in the game. I myself do not play with other women, I am not opposed but I just don't do it. My wife is currently seeing her first real bull. We had a near encounter a year or so back with a couple of bulls our hotwife friend brought to a weekend away. I know my wife took a liking to one of them in particular and under different circumstances we have have had some fun with him but she was with the boyfriend at the time and it didn't. That was a case of right person wrong time. We may revisit that option soon.

We had a bit of an issue last year where we broke some of the "rules" of forming an emotional bond and having a relationship in the form of her boyfriend. While it did afford certain perks it came with other issues like him trying to advance the relationship into from a girlfriend to something more serious, obviously not an option for a married woman. At this point we have been working on keeping it light and the current bull has no interest in a relationship beyond what it is, which is kind of a welcome relief from before.

If you are wondering...no I have not watched the original threesome option play out yet but it is a goal.

 

[Curious136]

Too bad the current bull won’t let you watch.
Would he let her video them together??

 

[Phun Times 727]

Too bad the current bull won’t let you watch.
Would he let her video them together??

Its not a "won't" as much as he is there for our purposes but also his. He plays outside of his marriage with the blessing of his wife as they are no longer on the same wavelength sexually. He has a very high libido and this allows them to cope better and g=for the women he meets with they have a good time. He isn't adventurous as far as a the option of a threesome/watching or video. We knew this going in with him and accepted it as part of the deal. He isn't the only option and other options will eventually be considered but at this time he is the right option as far as her needs and comfort level.

 

[Curious136]

Too bad. I miss seeing new videos of your wife in action😉

 

[PatrickSarasota]

Why do you not just tell the bull you want to be a part of it? Is it possible for you to simply arrange a meeting with a bull that is comfortable with what it is you are seeking?

 

[Phun Times 727]

Why do you not just tell the bull you want to be a part of it? Is it possible for you to simply arrange a meeting with a bull that is comfortable with what it is you are seeking?

Not really and maybe. The current bull is set in his ways, he has been doing this a long time and he is available on his terms. He actually checks many boxes as far as the women are concerned.

That is actually a very good idea regarding setting up a different bull that fits what I am looking for, and of course her too. She has been seeing this one exclusively for about 5 months now, (as far as I know).

 

[BigSkies]

Oh my! . . . this is such an well considered 1st post & subsequent thread for any prospective novice entrants considering this Lifestyle in all it's aspects and respective relative roles...just excellent, sound advice and another thread that probably deserves a 'sticky' for easy reference to support others... superb! 🙏

 

[Phun Times 727]

For the last 8 months my wife has been having one on one sex with a bull exclusively. This phase has been very difficult for me as we have not had traditional sex for the entire 7 months. I do have intimacy and a form of sex. It consists primarily of her recounting her encounter while I masturbate, sometimes she edges me along with her hand or orally but no vaginal sex in 8 months. Its been an adjustment but I knew this phase was going to involve some form of chastity and I agreed to it. Lately I have been trying to figure ways out of this situation before it got any stricter for me where I would have no path back. I have been testing the waters of bringing another bull to the table, one that is open to MFM or being watched. I haven't had the best of luck yet but still talking to a few options.

In the meantime, we find out her bull is moving out of state. He has adult children in another state with a grandchild on the way and he and his wife plan to relocate to CO. He owns a lot of property locally so we assume he will return occasionally to take care of things but this brings their situation to a halt other than maybe an occasional visit from out of state. He sees several women locally due to a hyper active sex drive so we are not alone and he will likely cultivate a network of women in his new location. As much as I say it is a problem it is actually a relief for me.

Looking forward I plan to steer things a bit and try to get back into a more interactive role. In fact I have been looking for other options for the last couple of months now. I'm not certain we are continuing this but I suspect so and would rather have options more suitable to what I am looking for.

 

[coastalkid]

For the last 8 months my wife has been having one on one sex with a bull exclusively. This phase has been very difficult for me as we have not had traditional sex for the entire 7 months. I do have intimacy and a form of sex. It consists primarily of her recounting her encounter while I masturbate, sometimes she edges me along with her hand or orally but no vaginal sex in 8 months. Its been an adjustment but I knew this phase was going to involve some form of chastity and I agreed to it. Lately I have been trying to figure ways out of this situation before it got any stricter for me where I would have no path back. I have been testing the waters of bringing another bull to the table, one that is open to MFM or being watched. I haven't had the best of luck yet but still talking to a few options.

In the meantime, we find out her bull is moving out of state. He has adult children in another state with a grandchild on the way and he and his wife plan to relocate to CO. He owns a lot of property locally so we assume he will return occasionally to take care of things but this brings their situation to a halt other than maybe an occasional visit from out of state. He sees several women locally due to a hyper active sex drive so we are not alone and he will likely cultivate a network of women in his new location. As much as I say it is a problem it is actually a relief for me.

Looking forward I plan to steer things a bit and try to get back into a more interactive role. In fact I have been looking for other options for the last couple of months now. I'm not certain we are continuing this but I suspect so and would rather have options more suitable to what I am looking for.

There's a lot going on here with your update. First off, is it more your idea about not having sex with your wife? You describe it as a "difficult phase". Is this like the pain your endure in running a marathon but the emotional reward of finishing is the big deal? If it's you pushing the denial and the chastity then head on! You're getting exactly what you want. You'll be getting the thrill of "mental side" as well as the sexual "sexual side" you crave.

If it isn't all what you want then you either learn to adjust your desires or it's destined for drama. The current bull relocating has to be another huge issue. Would you want to have sex with your wife if she didn't have a current bull? My sincere thoughts are that intimacy is critical and restricted intimacy is not the same. The way you described masturbating during a retelling didn't convince me that you felt physically satisfied. Maybe you got that denial craving more.

This is another foolish notion I have. When it's someone you love with all your heart and soul, if they do something for you you want to do something for them in return. After having had the most amazing sexual experience of her life, why wouldn't a wife not want her husband to experience his own most amazing sexual experience and be the facilitator of it! Just like you are!

I have followed you a while. From the start. I can say this, your wife has certainly overcome many, many inhibitions. She has earned her credibility as a "Hot Wife". That part of the equation is solved. Your part doesn't seem as clear or easy to determine what it is you exactly want.

Just my honest thoughts that's all. I'm sure I don't sound any different than I did with you to start with. FWIW I'm hoping you have more fun.

 

[Phun Times 727]

There's a lot going on here with your update. First off, is it more your idea about not having sex with your wife? You describe it as a "difficult phase". Is this like the pain your endure in running a marathon but the emotional reward of finishing is the big deal? If it's you pushing the denial and the chastity then head on! You're getting exactly what you want. You'll be getting the thrill of "mental side" as well as the sexual "sexual side" you crave.

If it isn't all what you want then you either learn to adjust your desires or it's destined for drama. The current bull relocating has to be another huge issue. Would you want to have sex with your wife if she didn't have a current bull? My sincere thoughts are that intimacy is critical and restricted intimacy is not the same. The way you described masturbating during a retelling didn't convince me that you felt physically satisfied. Maybe you got that denial craving more.

This is another foolish notion I have. When it's someone you love with all your heart and soul, if they do something for you you want to do something for them in return. After having had the most amazing sexual experience of her life, why wouldn't a wife not want her husband to experience his own most amazing sexual experience and be the facilitator of it! Just like you are!

I have followed you a while. From the start. I can say this, your wife has certainly overcome many, many inhibitions. She has earned her credibility as a "Hot Wife". That part of the equation is solved. Your part doesn't seem as clear or easy to determine what it is you exactly want.

Just my honest thoughts that's all. I'm sure I don't sound any different than I did with you to start with. FWIW I'm hoping you have more fun.

So that is a tough one to answer exactly. When we discovered that she had a friend already living the hotwife lifestyle it sparked interest on both our parts as we were certainly not there but had had some MFM encounter experience certainly with what was her boyfriend at the time. We were both "interested" even though it is not what we ( I ) originally desired. I was just looking for my wife to have a threesome with 2 dudes and i watch it happen (once). Well, we never got that, and still haven't, but along the road we discovered some "options" in the form of the hotwife lifestyle via her friend. It seemed to be a path to the MFM scenario I was looking for and she was interested in her options as well. Since it is not what we originally discussed we had to pull back a bit and decide what we wanted. This was tough as it involved being very open and talking about things people normally do not feel able to discuss, even with their partner, but how the hell else could we decide what to do if we didn't peel that onion?

So what do we want...? Yeah, thats an abstract but we decided there are ultra conservative approaches and there are really wild approaches. So given we had already "crossed the naughty line" with her having a lover it meant we had to be realistic. Just flirting with some guy at a bar was way behind us, we were at the mid to wilder options. So our friend has these party weekends where she hosts a party where several bulls attend and she has rounds with them, solo, two or more at a time up to a full gang bang etc, husband can be present only if restrained ( which he oddly opts for). Other women get invited to be there in a lesser capacity and according to their comfort level. We weren't ready for that but we were ready to step up a bit. After the boyfriend era ended we did step it up. She was introduced to a bull by her friend and met with him solo and frequently over the last 8 months. Bear in mind her friend is a full hotwife/cuck and does not have sex with her husband/she only sleeps with bulls. With that said I do feel the choice of bull her friend recommended may have been somewhat tilted in that direction. We talked it over and I admit it excited me, so we agreed for her to proceed. With that behind us now I have made it clear I need some participation and she admits it excited her to have the solo experience completely separate from us, and moving forward maybe it can still happen but in conjunction with another more open situation where I am involved.

I think it really comes down to a couple of things, I can look for the situations where I am involved and she can find her own arrangement where I am not. She is the one that presented this option and I think it works. She said she would like at least one arrangement to happen completely autonomously. We do not talk about it or acknowledge it while it is happening, maybe after the fact she may opt to bring me up to speed.

Again we find ourselves at a crossroads asking, do we want to keep going? We both agree, yes.

 

[coastalkid]

So that is a tough one to answer exactly. ........This was tough as it involved being very open and talking about things people normally do not feel able to discuss, even with their partner, but how the hell else could we decide what to do if we didn't peel that onion?

As you say, you're way past the mild if she's had a regular bull for 8 months or more. What did she say about your lack of participation? Did it seem of consequence to her? It would be interesting to know if she didn't give much thought or if she was genuinely concerned.

I think it really comes down to a couple of things, I can look for the situations where I am involved and she can find her own arrangement where I am not. She is the one that presented this option and I think it works. She said she would like at least one arrangement to happen completely autonomously. We do not talk about it or acknowledge it while it is happening, maybe after the fact she may opt to bring me up to speed.

Again we find ourselves at a crossroads asking, do we want to keep going? We both agree, yes.

So, if you're looking on your own for a situation does that mean you're free to find a guy that is open to you participating? I would imagine if you had that kind of freedom you would do your best to find a good candidate for your play time. Someone that she will want to be with too. She's going to have MUCH more success than you will finding "her own arrangement". I'm sure you suspect that. How much freedom do you have to seek out "your own arrangement"?

 

[FilinaHotWife]

I'm speechless after reading this. A cautionary tale IMHO. You are a very articulate, intelligent, person. I wonder how you let this spiral out of control, but it seems you are ok with what to me apears an escalating pattern of emasculation and disrespect. Perhaps this is because of my kink lying along the Stag/Vixen axis not the cuckold axis. I love Women and detest machismo and rude men. But I also reject emasculation and wokism. Maybe I should stick to the Stag/Vixen forum. My comments must be viewed through that prism.

The so called coach's own circumstances should be indicative of the way she is molding your misses into someone very different than the person yiou married. No sex for you just for others is the type of wife YOU want? She only has sex with her bulls not with her husband and is teaching yours to emulate her kink. Dont mean to sound judmental but from my read of your interest in how this whole thing got started, to wit, wanting to watch your wife get spitroasted, quite opposite end of the polygamy spectrum than wife going on dates with a boyfriend!I

Where this has gotten you is to no sex for 7 months. after the so called 30 days abstinence at the "coach" suggestion. The inescabable conclusion I draw is this experiment has failed dismally.

Just my view from 30,000 feet. Best of luck.

 

[Phun Times 727]

As you say, you're way past the mild if she's had a regular bull for 8 months or more. What did she say about your lack of participation? Did it seem of consequence to her? It would be interesting to know if she didn't give much thought or if she was genuinely concerned.

So, if you're looking on your own for a situation does that mean you're free to find a guy that is open to you participating? I would imagine if you had that kind of freedom you would do your best to find a good candidate for your play time. Someone that she will want to be with too. She's going to have MUCH more success than you will finding "her own arrangement". I'm sure you suspect that. How much freedom do you have to seek out "your own arrangement"?

Yes, I am not only free to find a guy open to me participating, its the only way I am bringing one forward in fact. We learned at the very beginning, she is way better at picking up dudes than I am lol so she will be able to find her own situation fairly easily, especially considering her hotwife friend has a stable of bulls to lend. I am not sure what you mean by my own arrangement, really if I can source according to my needs I think that does it.

 

[coastalkid]

Yes, I am not only free to find a guy open to me participating, its the only way I am bringing one forward in fact. We learned at the very beginning, she is way better at picking up dudes than I am lol so she will be able to find her own situation fairly easily, especially considering her hotwife friend has a stable of bulls to lend. I am not sure what you mean by my own arrangement, really if I can source according to my needs I think that does it.

This is what I meant by "your own arrangement" .......... I can look for the situations where I am involved and she can find her own arrangement where I am not. She's not going to be looking for you. She'll be looking for herself. You make it sound like it's on you to find a guy that will be cool with you participating. In that case you are "arranging" things for your own pleasure. Have you discussed the likely disparity in her success vs yours?

 

[Phun Times 727]

I'm speechless after reading this. A cautionary tale IMHO. You are a very articulate, intelligent, person. I wonder how you let this spiral out of control, but it seems you are ok with what to me apears an escalating pattern of emasculation and disrespect. Perhaps this is because of my kink lying along the Stag/Vixen axis not the cuckold axis. I love Women and detest machismo and rude men. But I also reject emasculation and wokism. Maybe I should stick to the Stag/Vixen forum. My comments must be viewed through that prism.

The so called coach's own circumstances should be indicative of the way she is molding your misses into someone very different than the person yiou married. No sex for you just for others is the type of wife YOU want? She only has sex with her bulls not with her husband and is teaching yours to emulate her kink. Dont mean to sound judmental but from my read of your interest in how this whole thing got started, to wit, wanting to watch your wife get spitroasted, quite opposite end of the polygamy spectrum than wife going on dates with a boyfriend!I

Where this has gotten you is to no sex for 7 months. after the so called 30 days abstinence at the "coach" suggestion. The inescabable conclusion I draw is this experiment has failed dismally.

Just my view from 30,000 feet. Best of luck.

I appreciate your input and it is great to hear from a woman's perspective. Well, I agree things have gotten off track. Where we started as a monogamous couple and then began to play in the stag/vixen realm is where my comfort level was ideally. I always intended to stay part of the sex life of my wife. The boyfriend came about while trying to set up a MFM. he was the first M and we never really got around to finding the second M so I played that role and don't get me wrong-it was awesome but original intent was to watch it happen and really it was to be a one time thing. I never thought we would take a one time sex act and enter a completely new fetish lifestyle from that point forward. I guess it got off the rails but not completely. We have checked in with each other a lot along the way and her agreeing to entertain my original kink more or less lead to me being willing to discuss things she might want to try, even if I was not completely comfortable with it. In discussions we were brutally honest and while it was uncomfortable it was also a temptation/ turn on. We both have a different fetish with watching. I sometimes like to watch her in the act with another guy and she likes to watch me in turn watch her, both real time and a recording after the fact. If we watch something back together it is by far what she requests the most and it gets her off the quickest. These are not things I could have predicted a couple years ago but its what we have. We have pushed really hard in one direction for her this last 8 months and she knows that and appreciates my sacrifices. The next phase we need to work toward something more equitable nut if you ask her if she enjoyed the last 8 months...she'll tell you it was amazing for her but she knows it wasn't for me. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking to return to monogamy, I just need a more active role.

 

[Phun Times 727]

This is what I meant by "your own arrangement" .......... I can look for the situations where I am involved and she can find her own arrangement where I am not. She's not going to be looking for you. She'll be looking for herself. You make it sound like it's on you to find a guy that will be cool with you participating. In that case you are "arranging" things for your own pleasure. Have you discussed the likely disparity in her success vs yours?

No doubt about it. We more or less agreed it is on me to find the arrangement I want. We will both have "recruiting" functions but I will focus on the me/her/person of interest where she might find that but is more or less focused on the her/person of interest. Its not even a gray area, we have pretty much agreed that is the most logical way. Disparity doesn't even begin to describe the advantage she holds. An attractive woman can find a guy for NSA every 50 feet if she has her eyes open, where a husband recruiting another dude to join him and his wife in a threesome or one on one with husband watching is a far lesser pool of options. I don't even begin to think there is a chance of equity. Its not really a game of numbers but of opportunity. She isn't trying to get a new dude every 10 minutes but rather set up a situation. What I am hoping for is an arrangement that suits my needs. She has the "freedom" if you will to do the same, either in form of what she just had with a bull and then recanting her encounters to me or she has interest in and has stated she is turned on by the idea of something "secret" while not actually being a secret ( I know that is a horrible way to describe it),

 

[coastalkid]

No doubt about it. We more or less agreed it is on me to find the arrangement I want. We will both have "recruiting" functions but I will focus on the me/her/person of interest where she might find that but is more or less focused on the her/person of interest. Its not even a gray area, we have pretty much agreed that is the most logical way. Disparity doesn't even begin to describe the advantage she holds. An attractive woman can find a guy for NSA every 50 feet if she has her eyes open, where a husband recruiting another dude to join him and his wife in a threesome or one on one with husband watching is a far lesser pool of options. I don't even begin to think there is a chance of equity. Its not really a game of numbers but of opportunity. She isn't trying to get a new dude every 10 minutes but rather set up a situation. What I am hoping for is an arrangement that suits my needs. She has the "freedom" if you will to do the same, either in form of what she just had with a bull and then recanting her encounters to me or she has interest in and has stated she is turned on by the idea of something "secret" while not actually being a secret ( I know that is a horrible way to describe it),

What would be optimal is if she ALSO sought out people that would be open to your scene! Even the fact that she was considering that as a possibility would be awesome. She has to know that your chances are slim compared to hers. I have to ask, are her one on one secrets important to her? Does she have a desire to have things that are unknown to you, or is it more like she wants everything to be upfront with you?

When you say you want an "arrangement that suits my needs" what does that entail?

 

[coastalkid]

Thanks! I've had fun following your experience! It's been a long road already and you've experienced a lot!

 

[Phun Times 727]

What would be optimal is if she ALSO sought out people that would be open to your scene! Even the fact that she was considering that as a possibility would be awesome. She has to know that your chances are slim compared to hers. I have to ask, are her one on one secrets important to her? Does she have a desire to have things that are unknown to you, or is it more like she wants everything to be upfront with you?

When you say you want an "arrangement that suits my needs" what does that entail?

She is the one that found someone open to our situation initially so she might actually find someone and is open to that although more focused on the one on one. Using adult dating sites you can recruit fairly specifically according to virtually any kink. We have maintained profiles and discussions. In fact the last few months I have invested time into recruitment thinking I would present an option to her that we could test out someone while her other thing was still going. Now that it isn't I still have some potential options that are more likely to be considered than they might have been previously.

We are very upfront. She isn't looking to hide anything. She told me she is interested in having at least one discreet encounter, whether it be a one time thing or short term etc the idea being we would not discuss it with each other in real time. This is not how things have been. If she has a solo meeting I know who/what/where/why/when and I have the guys health screen results, we always talk about it after. She is looking to be upfront that a discreet meeting interests her if we agree on it as an option. I suppose she could always do it anyway and I wouldn't even know. I guess the difference is she would tell me at some point afterwards and is seeking my approval, which she has. This is only one option and may or may not happen (I suspect it will). She will still have options on her side where I know everything in advance and during if they happen.

My focus is less there and more on my end of recruiting at least one situation that works according to my needs. I really think if I can present the right option we just roll with it like we did in the past. It seems once we get into something she focuses on it and stops looking. Its my guess that we likely go that route if timing works in my favor. I'm not waiting long, in fact I have hopes of an in person "meet for drinks" screening fairly soon.

 

[coastalkid]

I guess the main thing is that she knows/is aware that you are somewhat frustrated/disappointed with the current situation. I'm not trying to imply that your are upset or mad because I don't feel like that's what you are saying. You just want more involvement or participation.

To me, the most important thing is that she doesn't simply dismiss your feelings or try to minimize them. She has to know that she has had an amazing experience so far. Yes, you supported that, and yes you were patient in allowing her the freedom to explore in her own way and at her own rate. Because of your willingness to allow her the freedom she has a new outlook on the lifestyle determined by her own experience.

At some point a wife/gf must become aware of the differences in the experiences she has and the experiences her husband/bf has. She must realize that as a female she has considerably more opportunity given her freedom and support from her significant other. This is where the rubber meets road! A smart wife/gf realizes the inequity and does something about it. A smart wife realizes that if she likes her situation she will do what needs to be done to keep it going. Doing nothing, or dismissing the inequity, or declaring "This is what you wanted!" shows how out of touch a wife/gf can be. How can she honestly state, "This is what you wanted!" if she doesn't confirm it to be true?

The whole hot wife/cuckold scenario functions is there is a couple. If there is no couple then there is no exploring the dynamic and how it heightens the experience. If a couple acts unilaterally, independent from input or consequence then it isn't really a shared experience. Statements like, "That's his problem!", or "That's what he said he wanted!" are declarations of denied responsibility. It's my opinion that some wives/gfs figure out too late that they ignored their husbands/bfs for too long and what was intended to be shared experience became individual ones with distinctly different results.