Help to communicate with wife about sex and maybe sharing her...

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maxgen373737

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a little background...we're married 45 years, we're 66M/65F...she's post-menopause with lower libido and dryness...
she's conservative, restrained in public and very concerned about her 'reputation...
over the years we've fucked in cars, on the beach, in many positions, some like BDSMM, etc.
she gained some weight and didn't 'feel pretty'...no matter what I said or did to support her...
she said she wasn't interested in sex and only did it because I wanted it...
now, she's lost that weight and I'm wondering what I can do to re-ignite the flames, without seeming to 'pushy' or 'objectifying' her...
tried talking with her about my fantasy of seeing her with another man, but got no response...
some photos attached because she has always looked great...
any thoughts or guidance is appreciated...

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mine doesn't want to take HRTs because of history of breast cancer...a lot of K-Y doesn't always work and is still painful for her...libido is still very low...
 
Same age as me. If she has low libido and vaginal dryness after the menopause, has she considered HRT? It can work wonders. I get just as wet as I ever did and I’ve not noticed any drop off in libido.
And it’s not just women who can benefit from HRT. When James turned 60, he noticed he was getting tired quite easily even though he’d kept in shape. Blood tests showed his testosterone levels had dropped to just below the normal range. He was prescribed testosterone injections once every 12 week and got his energy back. The added bonus was an improvement in his erections, his cock gets harder and for longer. The only side effect is that his balls have shrunk but that’s not really an issue at our age.
Lynn xx
 
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maxgen373737 said:
a little background...we're married 45 years, we're 66M/65F...she's post-menopause with lower libido and dryness...
she's conservative, restrained in public and very concerned about her 'reputation...
over the years we've fucked in cars, on the beach, in many positions, some like BDSMM, etc.
she gained some weight and didn't 'feel pretty'...no matter what I said or did to support her...
she said she wasn't interested in sex and only did it because I wanted it...
now, she's lost that weight and I'm wondering what I can do to re-ignite the flames, without seeming to 'pushy' or 'objectifying' her...
tried talking with her about my fantasy of seeing her with another man, but got no response...
some photos attached because she has always looked great...
any thoughts or guidance is appreciated...

View media item 262757
It took a while to get my wife to go along with the being fucked by another man idea. She wanted to know why I was willing to let her sleep with another guy. I told her that I think of the other guy as a sex toy for us.
Click to expand...
How seeing her totally turned on. The taboo of her letting another man enter her pussy and Cuming in her.
Not to mention that the other guy wanting and taking her and having the pleasure of knowing he fucked another man's wife.
 
just curious. how long and what types of conversations did you have with her? also, what other type of objections did you have to overcome?
And is she happy that she decided to do it? thanks
 
We have tried HRT and did not have remarkable results. My post menopausal wife has a tendency to be dry UNLESS she has a new lover in bed and then she gets sloppy wet and stays that way for quite a while. The lube never comes out. When it is just us we often need lube. I can't say what other women are like but for mine a sexy atmosphere overcomes post menopausal dryness.

I guess you get into a chicken/egg argument here. One of the effects of post menopause can be lack of interest in sexual adventure. The cure could be sexual adventure. How do you get a particular woman interested in getting started is the challenge.

So what gets the juices flowing? We go out to a nudist resort, dances and swingers clubs, and situations which men flirt with her. General talk about sex and previous adventures. She gets very excited when we just sit around and talk about past sexual adventures we have had.

Shifting to a new environment like going to a hotel or the beach or................... really helps. Fill in the blank with her favorite adventure. Being around the house reminds us of kids, projects, and all that stuff that stifles sexy thoughts. Get out of there!

Watching porn works sometimes but it has to be porn she likes. Since I just want to get her horny why should I have to worry about what kind of porn we watch? Some movies or even documentaries about sex are enough.

For me the bottom line is I need to work harder to get her really horny. Then the juices flow. For us it isn't that the vagina is a desert (just a dessert) that dries up and stays that way. We just have to work harder to bring the rains again. If I want more sex I have to take that responsibility to make sure we are in the right environment to bring on the rain.

Lately we have been having a three some with a younger guy. She is wet the entire time and manages to easily please both of us. She wakes up the next morning horny and ready to go again. Occasionally she wakes me up at 3:00 AM and says "I'm still horny". Sometimes he comes back the next night too and she is ready to go for hours of petting and sex. That definitely brings the rains back. I would say she is sopping wet through these encounters.

I can't say what will work for your wife. But I bet you know. Just have to think about it and be open to some great adventure.
 
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Nakednerds said:
We have tried HRT and did not have remarkable results. My post menopausal wife has a tendency to be dry UNLESS she has a new lover in bed and then she gets sloppy wet and stays that way for quite a while. The lube never comes out. When it is just us we often need lube. I can't say what other women are like but for mine a sexy atmosphere overcomes post menopausal dryness.

I guess you get into a chicken/egg argument here. One of the effects of post menopause can be lack of interest in sexual adventure. The cure could be sexual adventure. How do you get a particular woman interested in getting started is the challenge.

So what gets the juices flowing? We go out to a nudist resort, dances and swingers clubs, and situations which men flirt with her. General talk about sex and previous adventures. She gets very excited when we just sit around and talk about past sexual adventures we have had.

Shifting to a new environment like going to a hotel or the beach or................... really helps. Fill in the blank with her favorite adventure. Being around the house reminds us of kids, projects, and all that stuff that stifles sexy thoughts. Get out of there!

Watching porn works sometimes but it has to be porn she likes. Since I just want to get her horny why should I have to worry about what kind of porn we watch? Some movies or even documentaries about sex are enough.

For me the bottom line is I need to work harder to get her really horny. Then the juices flow. For us it isn't that the vagina is a desert (just a dessert) that dries up and stays that way. We just have to work harder to bring the rains again. If I want more sex I have to take that responsibility to make sure we are in the right environment to bring on the rain.

Lately we have been having a three some with a younger guy. She is wet the entire time and manages to easily please both of us. She wakes up the next morning horny and ready to go again. Occasionally she wakes me up at 3:00 AM and says "I'm still horny". Sometimes he comes back the next night too and she is ready to go for hours of petting and sex. That definitely brings the rains back. I would say she is sopping wet through these encounters.

I can't say what will work for your wife. But I bet you know. Just have to think about it and be open to some great adventure.
Click to expand...
Thank you for the thoughtful response and sharing your experiences...it's given me more to think about and reinforced some of my thoughts to...
 
maxgen373737 said:
just curious. how long and what types of conversations did you have with her? also, what other type of objections did you have to overcome?
And is she happy that she decided to do it? thanks
Click to expand...
Most of our conversations started while we were having sex. I would ask if she would like to have sex with a guy I knew she liked. Most times she would say yes and sometimes she wouldn't say no but say she didn't know if she could go through with it. One other thing this guy lived far away. So it was safe for her to say yes. Then one time he called us and said he had to come close to where we live and maybe he will swing by. So right away I asked her if she wanted to make it happen. With a little thought she said yes.
The objections were how would I react, what if someone else found out.
After the first time she had guilt. But it faded fast once she realized that I loved it.
 
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niskeyguy said:
Most of our conversations started while we were having sex. I would ask if she would like to have sex with a guy I knew she liked. Most times she would say yes and sometimes she wouldn't say no but say she didn't know if she could go through with it. One other thing this guy lived far away. So it was safe for her to say yes. Then one time he called us and said he had to come close to where we live and maybe he will swing by. So right away I asked her if she wanted to make it happen. With a little thought she said yes.
The objections were how would I react, what if someone else found out.
After the first time she had guilt. But it faded fast once she realized that I loved it.
Click to expand...
Thanks - appreciate the feedback and very helpful...
 
maxgen373737 said:
a little background...we're married 45 years, we're 66M/65F...she's post-menopause with lower libido and dryness...
she's conservative, restrained in public and very concerned about her 'reputation...
over the years we've fucked in cars, on the beach, in many positions, some like BDSMM, etc.
she gained some weight and didn't 'feel pretty'...no matter what I said or did to support her...
she said she wasn't interested in sex and only did it because I wanted it...
now, she's lost that weight and I'm wondering what I can do to re-ignite the flames, without seeming to 'pushy' or 'objectifying' her...
tried talking with her about my fantasy of seeing her with another man, but got no response...
some photos attached because she has always looked great...
any thoughts or guidance is appreciated...

View media item 262757
View media item 262805
Click to expand...
This is my position too - my wife is still gorgeous too, but often our lovely wives struggle to believe us when we tell them they’re still sexy and want to fuck them like when we were young.

Also, as in my case, my wife has had an illness that has affected her confidence and the hormone medication she’s on has made her pussy a little drier and has shrunk her introitus too which makes my entry more difficult due to this. Once inside all is ok but it does make her wince a bit, because of my large glans, even with the excellent lube we now use - pure silicon with no additives at all. She likes me to cum within 3 - 5 minutes preferably as otherwise she now gets a bit sore and tender. That’s fine by me but I do sometimes worry that I perhaps should not approach her for sex when I do, though she swears it’s not a problem as she often instigates my penetrating her deeply. As long as I don’t spend too much time with my glans just between her introitus and labia she’s ok, though sometimes I need that extra gripping stimulation to bring me to the edge. Mostly, if I get my angle just right it’s fine and her pussy grip is enough to make me cum, it’s just that we need to put a bit more thought into the way my cock approaches her pussy and when inside it too.
 
Tricky64 said:
This is my position too - my wife is still gorgeous too, but often our lovely wives struggle to believe us when we tell them they’re still sexy and want to fuck them like when we were young.

Also, as in my case, my wife has had an illness that has affected her confidence and the hormone medication she’s on has made her pussy a little drier and has shrunk her introitus too which makes my entry more difficult due to this. Once inside all is ok but it does make her wince a bit, because of my large glans, even with the excellent lube we now use - pure silicon with no additives at all. She likes me to cum within 3 - 5 minutes preferably as otherwise she now gets a bit sore and tender. That’s fine by me but I do sometimes worry that I perhaps should not approach her for sex when I do, though she swears it’s not a problem as she often instigates my penetrating her deeply. As long as I don’t spend too much time with my glans just between her introitus and labia she’s ok, though sometimes I need that extra gripping stimulation to bring me to the edge. Mostly, if I get my angle just right it’s fine and her pussy grip is enough to make me cum, it’s just that we need to put a bit more thought into the way my cock approaches her pussy and when inside it too.
Click to expand...
I can understand what you're saying completely...also, at times, it's like as there's so much thought going into the process, that she feels like it's nt genuine or from the heart, for lack of better words...I don't know exactly...
 
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