How to encourage my wife to go further than her first vacation flirt some 6 weeks ago?

Hello. I'm Martin 50 and my wife Martina 38. We've been tog for 5, married for 4 years. Six weeks ago she danced a lot and flirted with a man at a dance we attended on vacation. She even allowed him to invite himself to our table and we chatted nicely, with him leaving no doubt he felt attracted to her and her sounding my face expressions for signs of jealousy. Nothing happened as we decided to call it the day before he would feel too encouraged, but later in our room we talked about the evening and Martina raised the question of jealousy and that she was positively surprised I had been ok with her dancing a lot with others. So, I used the opportunity to own up to her about the arousal I had felt at seeing her enjoy herself and particularly at that one man's obvious interest in her. I said he was an attractive and well-behaved gentleman and it made me proud to see such a man take an interest in my wife, maybe even desire her. That somehow put a glow on her face again, just like at the dance, and she responded by seeking reassurance, i.e. if I really thought he was "desiring" her, if I thought he was hoping for more? When I confirmed she briefly bit her lower lip and then said hm, and that did not make you jealous, are you sure? And so I and so I confirmed that to her again, too, and then she said hm again and let's sleep now, I'mabsolutely exhausted. And so we slept ... and we haven't talked about that evening since then. - So, now I'm wondering if she is still harbouring any thoughts, or if the chapter is closed for her already. And if I should raise that experience again, or wait for her to do so ... maybe on the next occasion, when we plan to go on vacation again or only when we are there and decide to go to another dance venue ...As for myself: I've been harbouring the hotwifing thought for long already and am therefore prepared for her to venture forth.
 
Hello. I'm Martin 50 and my wife Martina 38. We've been tog for 5, married for 4 years. Six weeks ago she danced a lot and flirted with a man at a dance we attended on vacation. She even allowed him to invite himself to our table and we chatted nicely, with him leaving no doubt he felt attracted to her and her sounding my face expressions for signs of jealousy. Nothing happened as we decided to call it the day before he would feel too encouraged, but later in our room we talked about the evening and Martina raised the question of jealousy and that she was positively surprised I had been ok with her dancing a lot with others. So, I used the opportunity to own up to her about the arousal I had felt at seeing her enjoy herself and particularly at that one man's obvious interest in her. I said he was an attractive and well-behaved gentleman and it made me proud to see such a man take an interest in my wife, maybe even desire her. That somehow put a glow on her face again, just like at the dance, and she responded by seeking reassurance, i.e. if I really thought he was "desiring" her, if I thought he was hoping for more? When I confirmed she briefly bit her lower lip and then said hm, and that did not make you jealous, are you sure? And so I and so I confirmed that to her again, too, and then she said hm again and let's sleep now, I'mabsolutely exhausted. And so we slept ... and we haven't talked about that evening since then. - So, now I'm wondering if she is still harbouring any thoughts, or if the chapter is closed for her already. And if I should raise that experience again, or wait for her to do so ... maybe on the next occasion, when we plan to go on vacation again or only when we are there and decide to go to another dance venue ...As for myself: I've been harbouring the hotwifing thought for long already and am therefore prepared for her to venture forth.
You’re at a very reasonable age for this type of play and I think you’re heading in the right direction. As so many brilliant posts led me to understand, this is usually a slow burn. You have planted the seed, now continue to nurture it.

If you want to keep up the momentum, there are shows or porn you could introduce to further this but I will say that in my opinion it seems like the most reasonable step is to move towards some kind of threesome.

If I could do my conversations all over again, I would have started with that discussions rather than explaining that her cumming on a big dick turns me on…having said that most wives will think you want a fmf after your suggested mfm. She also might think you’re secretly gay or bisexual as you go down that rabbit hole.

Another suggestion would be to go away for another weekend out of town. People always seem to mention hotel bars in traveling destinations for a good romp. It could be all the traveling spouses just looking to get laid while they are away.

It all depends on what you want, what your relationship can handle and how conversational you want to be…it seems like some people barely discuss it and it works for them, where others discuss it at length and then decide it’s too risky where maybe they should have just jumped into it. I hope that helps.
 
I had a similar experience with my wife - my wife is a petite blond and attractive and friendly and chatty . We were away for a weekend , she had a grey dress on with black hold up stockings and black underwear and black heels - we were in a smallish hotel and after dinner stayed in the lounge for a few drinks - my wife was showing a bit of leg and a couple over from us were chatting away to each other , the guy in the couple actually moved his seat to get a better view of my wife - I noticed and she must have too but never let on - the other guys wife was oblivious to this . I never let on to see her reaction at him looking now and then but noticed her intermittently sort of rubbing her legs together so obviously she knew he was looking - she never uncrossed her legs or anything but I’m positive at that point she must have been showing a good bit , afterwards in bed I commented on him looking at her - she just said was he really ? . I bet you liked the thought of him looking at me , I said yes of course any hot blooded guy would be checking you out - I then tested her - would you have liked to shown him more if you knew he was watching you - she replied why would I want to show another man more - standard get out answer - but she absolutely knew he was looking and 100% knew what she was showing . In fact on way back from the toilet I took a detour to see his view - you could see her stocking top easily under hemline and a bit of panties gusset - white thigh like a target to him I’d imagine . Next weekend away I don’t know whether to plant a seed and mention it or not as she might think I’m watching her - she is well aware of my desire to share her and this could be a possible way in - so do I mention her to show herself more to me when out or more importantly other men or not ?????
 
I had a similar experience with my wife - my wife is a petite blond and attractive and friendly and chatty . We were away for a weekend , she had a grey dress on with black hold up stockings and black underwear and black heels - we were in a smallish hotel and after dinner stayed in the lounge for a few drinks - my wife was showing a bit of leg and a couple over from us were chatting away to each other , the guy in the couple actually moved his seat to get a better view of my wife - I noticed and she must have too but never let on - the other guys wife was oblivious to this . I never let on to see her reaction at him looking now and then but noticed her intermittently sort of rubbing her legs together so obviously she knew he was looking - she never uncrossed her legs or anything but I’m positive at that point she must have been showing a good bit , afterwards in bed I commented on him looking at her - she just said was he really ? . I bet you liked the thought of him looking at me , I said yes of course any hot blooded guy would be checking you out - I then tested her - would you have liked to shown him more if you knew he was watching you - she replied why would I want to show another man more - standard get out answer - but she absolutely knew he was looking and 100% knew what she was showing . In fact on way back from the toilet I took a detour to see his view - you could see her stocking top easily under hemline and a bit of panties gusset - white thigh like a target to him I’d imagine . Next weekend away I don’t know whether to plant a seed and mention it or not as she might think I’m watching her - she is well aware of my desire to share her and this could be a possible way in - so do I mention her to show herself more to me when out or more importantly other men or not ?????
Thanks for your long reply and detailed account of what happened to the both of you. If I understood it right, your wife noticed he was looking but later didn't admit she did, but you noticed she was making slight movements (or at least not totally closing her legs), allowing him to peep in between her legs ... onto her undies, right?
 
Well, even though that's not like dancing and flirting yet, it is still clearly similar in that she noticed his interest and enjoyed granting him visual access to an extent. So, just like with my wife, I think there could be a follow up and for you it could indeed be through you buying her a new dress that's a bit more revealing than usual and if she comments on that, you could say something like she can be assured to yield positive responses in public, certainly from men like the one from the other day ... whose attention for her made you feel proud at that moment. I guess she might like to hear that and I'm also planning on using that word (proud) to encourage my wife further.
 
Thanks for your long reply and detailed account of what happened to the both of you. If I understood it right, your wife noticed he was looking but later didn't admit she did, but you noticed she was making slight movements (or at least not totally closing her legs), allowing him to peep in between her legs ... onto her undies, right?
Yes sorry it was a lengthy reply but wanted to explain fully the situation , yes that’s exactly how it was , the guy was sitting opposite his wife and sort of turned his chair to face us more , I noticed it right away and my wife had to as well . But that was immediately followed by him looking more and more in our direction - wasn’t until I returned from toilet that I saw clearly why - I just don’t get that she knows I want to share her and was obviously aware how much and exactly what she was showing ( legs / stocking tops and a bit of panty gusset ) but as usual vehemently denies . Why not just admit it you were enjoying it - whatever it was - and at same time please your husband by doing so and make it a’thing ‘ both of you can enjoy / but as always no - can’t work her out at all
 
I understand your frustration with your wife's "half-way" behaviour: teasing yes, following through no. However, someone explained to me regarding that one dance my wife "really" flirted (first time she went so far) was also typical of a woman: she madea little step forward, but immediately needed my ok with it. Women are concerned with being judged, esp. if the judgment is "slut", as most people still see a flirtatious, sexily dressed woman, let alone a promiscuous woman, as something negative (due to the persistent religious oppression of females and in particular their sexuality). Many people still today are living with archaic mindsets.
 
Wonderful way to start a conversation between the two of you. We discussed our fantasies before we married, and her flirting and being with another man was my main one. Alarmed at first, she finally understood my thinking..as best she could. Our first time much like yours, on a bar stool, a nice younger man beside her who happened to be in wifes profession. Talking led her to feeling nicely about herself, and I convinced her to cross her legs a little higher with her short skirt and heels on...That night she had an almost see thru white blouse on, no bra..When he left for restroom, wife and I talked about the situation and she agreed to asking him to join us at a club with a great DJ and dancing.
We met him there, got a booth, her in between us. She and I danced,and I asked her to invite him to dance with her too..a couple of drinks later she did, and they spent 20 minutes together, almost putting on a sex show to others. He was a great dancer, and she was having a great time. Could see her putting her leg between his, and him massaging her cute butt, kissing her neck and her snuggling up to his chest and neck. We lived about 90 minutes from there, so when time to leave so I got up, and told her I would meet her by our car. Soon they came out together, hand in hand...he took her away from the main entrance and started kissing her softly and touching her breasts thru the blouse. No hesitation or resistance on her part either.
When we did leave, we had a lot to talk about..she readily admitted it was fun being naughty and having a younger man want her. That started our journey of sharing her with 11 different men, some many times..
Good luck, keep us posted
 
WOW ! Awesome. I wish Martina's and my next outing to a dance will end up just like the one you detailed right above. Awesome! What a superb flirt even though it didn't end in sex. - When you were in the car, did you talk about whether or not she should have gone home with him? What did each of you say? What made her take the final step / cross the line from flirt to sex? How did the first time happen? (Tell me when you fel like it and have the time, no obligation. I'll keep you posted once something new transpires.)
 
Great questions...no, we did not talk about going home with him, but she did admit she would enjoy his company again. Our conversations then changed to what type of man she might have sex with. We live in Deep South USA so the subject of taboo came up, and after seeing pictures of black men with white women and some videos, we both decided involving a handsome black man would be very exciting. Wife is 5 6, 115 lbs, longlong legs and beautiful face. We ended up looking at ads on Dark Cavern, and her chatting on line with one or two men that were both professionals like us, one married, one single , both about 90 minutes away. My wife loves to talk, so both men agreed to visit on phone to see of any issues, of which there were none. We ended up meeting each of them closer to where they live, for a drink and then making out in car. She tasted her first black cocks and each tasted her married pussy. Next time we met she took each one between her legs, both within a couple of weeks. That started some wonderful times over the next 7 years, and some great friends were made.
More later if interested.
 
WOW! Awesome. My wife and I are both white Germans, but I for one surely approve of taboo sex on her part should that be her wish and maybe the element that may entice her to cross the line (as she's had a marraige and several sex partners, all white, and so something different might actually trigger the necessary hormones in her). I might give our next vacation destination some thought then - direction Caribbean for the winter vacation might fit both, the summer we crave and the sexual heat ;)
 
I'm certainly interested to learn more. Lots of myths and stereotypes surround the "Balck Man on White Girl" interracial here in Germany and most people who know or are curious about it do so / are so because of porn, in which, as we know, usually exceptional Black males are selected as performers - and perform they do ;)
 
WOW! Awesome. My wife and I are both white Germans, but I for one surely approve of taboo sex on her part should that be her wish and maybe the element that may entice her to cross the line (as she's had a marraige and several sex partners, all white, and so something different might actually trigger the necessary hormones in her). I might give our next vacation destination some thought then - direction Caribbean for the winter vacation might fit both, the summer we crave and the sexual heat ;)
She struck in rich in both St Marteens (night clerk, local) and St Kitts (Security Guard and masseuse)
 
Hello. I'm Martin 50 and my wife Martina 38. We've been tog for 5, married for 4 years. Six weeks ago she danced a lot and flirted with a man at a dance we attended on vacation. She even allowed him to invite himself to our table and we chatted nicely, with him leaving no doubt he felt attracted to her and her sounding my face expressions for signs of jealousy. Nothing happened as we decided to call it the day before he would feel too encouraged, but later in our room we talked about the evening and Martina raised the question of jealousy and that she was positively surprised I had been ok with her dancing a lot with others. So, I used the opportunity to own up to her about the arousal I had felt at seeing her enjoy herself and particularly at that one man's obvious interest in her. I said he was an attractive and well-behaved gentleman and it made me proud to see such a man take an interest in my wife, maybe even desire her. That somehow put a glow on her face again, just like at the dance, and she responded by seeking reassurance, i.e. if I really thought he was "desiring" her, if I thought he was hoping for more? When I confirmed she briefly bit her lower lip and then said hm, and that did not make you jealous, are you sure? And so I and so I confirmed that to her again, too, and then she said hm again and let's sleep now, I'mabsolutely exhausted. And so we slept ... and we haven't talked about that evening since then. - So, now I'm wondering if she is still harbouring any thoughts, or if the chapter is closed for her already. And if I should raise that experience again, or wait for her to do so ... maybe on the next occasion, when we plan to go on vacation again or only when we are there and decide to go to another dance venue ...As for myself: I've been harbouring the hotwifing thought for long already and am therefore prepared for her to venture forth.
In my opinion you should admit her you are jelaous. Women dig reasonably jelaaous men because it is sign they care.

Tell her you are indeed jelaous but that you don't let your ego come in way of her enjoyment. Tell her that she DESERVES to free her sexuality because she has been an amazing wife. That she looked so hot and confident while being desired by other man.

Then be graphic and tell her you don't mind if she took him to your car to play in backseat while you drive. Make her feel like a Queen.