Is She Almost There?

[Yoda66]

I’ve been trying to share her for couple years. She’s shy/sexually conservative, but she has had many previous partners (20 or so), so experienced. When we are having sex, she’ll do anything except anal sex. She gives herself up and is a heavy squirter. She will orgasm 3-4 times.
I set up a meeting at a bar with a guy from DL, unbeknownst to her. The guy was cool. They talked and hit it off. Next thing I knew he was giving her a sensual massage. She would NOT do that. Not in her comfort zone as a shy woman. But... she did. He massaged her, she closed her eyes, leaned back into him. He massaged her hands & thighs
She was tipsy and kept saying, “This is new territory for us.” He left to get a drink and she asked me how far was too far. I said anything she wanted, but she didn’t believe me and said I’d get jealous. The guy didn’t make a move fast enough. She got tired and asked to leave. She wanted to fuck me because she was horny from flirting. Dude dropped the ball.
Later I asked her thoughts. She said she thought he was just friendly. I laughed and said he wanted to fuck her. She denied it. I asked why she kept saying it was new territory for us. She finally admitted she DID believe he wanted a 3some. Interestingly, when she said this to him, she didn’t stop him. Does she want it, but not admitting? Seems so.
We’ve role-played and started using vibrator, then larger 9 inch dildo. She’s never done it and was hesitant. Now she asks for it.
One night when drunk, I used a dildo and said I’d like seeing cock in her. She started to cum hard. Then during sex I said I’d like to see her fuck a guy. She said, “I don’t want that, but maybe a threesome.”
She once said she might kiss someone if she was drinking. She said she didn’t know, but if she felt attracted she might do more but didn’t know how much. I asked if I could set it up. She said no that she wants a guy to want her on sight naturally.
Couple weeks ago she kissed a guy. He invited her to back of bar and kissed her. She didn’t agree to sex though.

I’m confused by her inconsistent words and actions.

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

I’ve been trying to share her for couple years. She’s shy/sexually conservative, but she has had many previous partners (20 or so), so experienced. When we are having sex, she’ll do anything except anal sex. She gives herself up and is a heavy squirter. She will orgasm 3-4 times.
I set up a meeting at a bar with a guy from DL, unbeknownst to her. The guy was cool. They talked and hit it off. Next thing I knew he was giving her a sensual massage. She would NOT do that. Not in her comfort zone as a shy woman. But... she did. He massaged her, she closed her eyes, leaned back into him. He massaged her hands & thighs
She was tipsy and kept saying, “This is new territory for us.” He left to get a drink and she asked me how far was too far. I said anything she wanted, but she didn’t believe me and said I’d get jealous. The guy didn’t make a move fast enough. She got tired and asked to leave. She wanted to fuck me because she was horny from flirting. Dude dropped the ball.
Later I asked her thoughts. She said she thought he was just friendly. I laughed and said he wanted to fuck her. She denied it. I asked why she kept saying it was new territory for us. She finally admitted she DID believe he wanted a 3some. Interestingly, when she said this to him, she didn’t stop him. Does she want it, but not admitting? Seems so.
We’ve role-played and started using vibrator, then larger 9 inch dildo. She’s never done it and was hesitant. Now she asks for it.
One night when drunk, I used a dildo and said I’d like seeing cock in her. She started to cum hard. Then during sex I said I’d like to see her fuck a guy. She said, “I don’t want that, but maybe a threesome.”
She once said she might kiss someone if she was drinking. She said she didn’t know, but if she felt attracted she might do more but didn’t know how much. I asked if I could set it up. She said no that she wants a guy to want her on sight naturally.
Couple weeks ago she kissed a guy. He invited her to back of bar and kissed her. She didn’t agree to sex though.

I’m confused by her inconsistent words and actions.View attachment 997900

Well, you did say she was shy and sexually conservative.
Each person has their own pre-conceived notions on marital relationships. So, I am going to try not to be too hasty in generalizing your situation. Your wife looks to you for a lot of things, chief among them is a stable and secure life. Moving towards a hotwife lifestyle can be a challenge.
She likely enjoys the fantasy but moving to a real situation could upset that environment if it goes wrong.
Her reaction could be several things: she is testing you to see if you’re resting her; she just enjoys the fantasy and her idea of a threesome is the least threatening right now; she feels she needs more(or maybe less) “liquid courage,” etc. If you want to stretch into the “Women are from Venus & Men are from Mars” thought process, there could be a couple hundred more ideas. The reality is that she is her own unique person and she is likely feeling the edges of her AND YOUR thoughts in this area.
I suggest you keep discussing this, including when you are not in bed (eg: eating lunch). Communication is key in any relationship. IMHO, it is especially critical in this lifestyle.

 

[Yoda66]

Well, you did say she was shy and sexually conservative.
Each person has their own pre-conceived notions on marital relationships. So, I am going to try not to be too hasty in generalizing your situation. You wife looks to you for a lot of things, chief among them is a stable and secure life. Moving towards a hotwife lifestyle can be a challenge.
She likely enjoys the fantasy but moving to a real situation could upset that environment if it goes wrong.
Her reaction could be several things: she is testing you to see if you’re resting her; she just enjoys the fantasy and her idea of a threesome is the least threatening right now; she feels she needs more(or maybe less) “liquid courage,” etc. If you want to stretch into the “Women are from Venus & Men are from Mars” thought process, there could be a couple hundred more ideas. The reality is that she is her own unique person and she is likely feeling the edges of her AND YOUR thoughts in this area.
I suggest you keep discussing this, including when you are not in bed (eg: eating lunch). Communication is key in any relationship. IMHO, it is especially critical in this lifestyle.

Thank’s for your input. You should know I’ve shared a partner previously and it worked well (not the reason for break up), so I’m familiar and okay with it.

I’m thinking, as you suggested, she believes a threesome is a safer option. I do not really know where to go from there because she is rarely comfortable enough to talk about it. I mean we do, and it’s informative, but short.

The last guy and I still communicate and he told me that the kiss was a bit more than a peck (but short). He also said that she rubbed his thighs and touched his cock at the bar. I saw her hands on his thigh, but didn’t know about touching his cock.

I don’t know if I believe him, but it’s possible because I told him I plan on asking her about it. If it’s true, it’s her chance to admit her proclivities. He said it was true and feel free to bring it up. He said he thought she would have told me by now, so he never mentioned it.

I plan on doing that tomorrow night on a date night.

 

[Riversideman]

I’ve been trying to share her for couple years. She’s shy/sexually conservative, but she has had many previous partners (20 or so), so experienced. When we are having sex, she’ll do anything except anal sex. She gives herself up and is a heavy squirter. She will orgasm 3-4 times.
I set up a meeting at a bar with a guy from DL, unbeknownst to her. The guy was cool. They talked and hit it off. Next thing I knew he was giving her a sensual massage. She would NOT do that. Not in her comfort zone as a shy woman. But... she did. He massaged her, she closed her eyes, leaned back into him. He massaged her hands & thighs
She was tipsy and kept saying, “This is new territory for us.” He left to get a drink and she asked me how far was too far. I said anything she wanted, but she didn’t believe me and said I’d get jealous. The guy didn’t make a move fast enough. She got tired and asked to leave. She wanted to fuck me because she was horny from flirting. Dude dropped the ball.
Later I asked her thoughts. She said she thought he was just friendly. I laughed and said he wanted to fuck her. She denied it. I asked why she kept saying it was new territory for us. She finally admitted she DID believe he wanted a 3some. Interestingly, when she said this to him, she didn’t stop him. Does she want it, but not admitting? Seems so.
We’ve role-played and started using vibrator, then larger 9 inch dildo. She’s never done it and was hesitant. Now she asks for it.
One night when drunk, I used a dildo and said I’d like seeing cock in her. She started to cum hard. Then during sex I said I’d like to see her fuck a guy. She said, “I don’t want that, but maybe a threesome.”
She once said she might kiss someone if she was drinking. She said she didn’t know, but if she felt attracted she might do more but didn’t know how much. I asked if I could set it up. She said no that she wants a guy to want her on sight naturally.
Couple weeks ago she kissed a guy. He invited her to back of bar and kissed her. She didn’t agree to sex though.

I’m confused by her inconsistent words and actions.View attachment 997900

Looking hot!

 

[franklyn]

I’ve been trying to share her for couple years. She’s shy/sexually conservative, but she has had many previous partners (20 or so), so experienced. When we are having sex, she’ll do anything except anal sex. She gives herself up and is a heavy squirter. She will orgasm 3-4 times.
I set up a meeting at a bar with a guy from DL, unbeknownst to her. The guy was cool. They talked and hit it off. Next thing I knew he was giving her a sensual massage. She would NOT do that. Not in her comfort zone as a shy woman. But... she did. He massaged her, she closed her eyes, leaned back into him. He massaged her hands & thighs
She was tipsy and kept saying, “This is new territory for us.” He left to get a drink and she asked me how far was too far. I said anything she wanted, but she didn’t believe me and said I’d get jealous. The guy didn’t make a move fast enough. She got tired and asked to leave. She wanted to fuck me because she was horny from flirting. Dude dropped the ball.
Later I asked her thoughts. She said she thought he was just friendly. I laughed and said he wanted to fuck her. She denied it. I asked why she kept saying it was new territory for us. She finally admitted she DID believe he wanted a 3some. Interestingly, when she said this to him, she didn’t stop him. Does she want it, but not admitting? Seems so.
We’ve role-played and started using vibrator, then larger 9 inch dildo. She’s never done it and was hesitant. Now she asks for it.
One night when drunk, I used a dildo and said I’d like seeing cock in her. She started to cum hard. Then during sex I said I’d like to see her fuck a guy. She said, “I don’t want that, but maybe a threesome.”
She once said she might kiss someone if she was drinking. She said she didn’t know, but if she felt attracted she might do more but didn’t know how much. I asked if I could set it up. She said no that she wants a guy to want her on sight naturally.
Couple weeks ago she kissed a guy. He invited her to back of bar and kissed her. She didn’t agree to sex though.

I’m confused by her inconsistent words and actions.View attachment 997900

I feel your pain

 

[Jerryg2088]

I’ve been trying to share her for couple years. She’s shy/sexually conservative, but she has had many previous partners (20 or so), so experienced. When we are having sex, she’ll do anything except anal sex. She gives herself up and is a heavy squirter. She will orgasm 3-4 times.
I set up a meeting at a bar with a guy from DL, unbeknownst to her. The guy was cool. They talked and hit it off. Next thing I knew he was giving her a sensual massage. She would NOT do that. Not in her comfort zone as a shy woman. But... she did. He massaged her, she closed her eyes, leaned back into him. He massaged her hands & thighs
She was tipsy and kept saying, “This is new territory for us.” He left to get a drink and she asked me how far was too far. I said anything she wanted, but she didn’t believe me and said I’d get jealous. The guy didn’t make a move fast enough. She got tired and asked to leave. She wanted to fuck me because she was horny from flirting. Dude dropped the ball.
Later I asked her thoughts. She said she thought he was just friendly. I laughed and said he wanted to fuck her. She denied it. I asked why she kept saying it was new territory for us. She finally admitted she DID believe he wanted a 3some. Interestingly, when she said this to him, she didn’t stop him. Does she want it, but not admitting? Seems so.
We’ve role-played and started using vibrator, then larger 9 inch dildo. She’s never done it and was hesitant. Now she asks for it.
One night when drunk, I used a dildo and said I’d like seeing cock in her. She started to cum hard. Then during sex I said I’d like to see her fuck a guy. She said, “I don’t want that, but maybe a threesome.”
She once said she might kiss someone if she was drinking. She said she didn’t know, but if she felt attracted she might do more but didn’t know how much. I asked if I could set it up. She said no that she wants a guy to want her on sight naturally.
Couple weeks ago she kissed a guy. He invited her to back of bar and kissed her. She didn’t agree to sex though.

I’m confused by her inconsistent words and actions.View attachment 997900

Damn I wish I could eat that ass

 

[btweets]

She’s not just almost there, she’s there! When she asked you how far was too far, she was basically asking if she could fuck him, or if he could fuck her. He definitely dropped the ball, but now you know how to get her back to that point once again. Back to where she’s comfortable and relaxed enough to take things further. Just don’t forget that women get beer goggles too when they’ve had just enough to drink.

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

She’s not just almost there, she’s there! When she asked you how far was too far, she was basically asking if she could fuck him, or if he could fuck her. He definitely dropped the ball, but now you know how to get her back to that point once again. Back to where she’s comfortable and relaxed enough to take things further. Just don’t forget that women get beer goggles too when they’ve had just enough to drink.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 😁

 

[wormwood]

I’ve been trying to share her for couple years. She’s shy/sexually conservative, but she has had many previous partners (20 or so), so experienced. When we are having sex, she’ll do anything except anal sex. She gives herself up and is a heavy squirter. She will orgasm 3-4 times.
I set up a meeting at a bar with a guy from DL, unbeknownst to her. The guy was cool. They talked and hit it off. Next thing I knew he was giving her a sensual massage. She would NOT do that. Not in her comfort zone as a shy woman. But... she did. He massaged her, she closed her eyes, leaned back into him. He massaged her hands & thighs
She was tipsy and kept saying, “This is new territory for us.” He left to get a drink and she asked me how far was too far. I said anything she wanted, but she didn’t believe me and said I’d get jealous. The guy didn’t make a move fast enough. She got tired and asked to leave. She wanted to fuck me because she was horny from flirting. Dude dropped the ball.
Later I asked her thoughts. She said she thought he was just friendly. I laughed and said he wanted to fuck her. She denied it. I asked why she kept saying it was new territory for us. She finally admitted she DID believe he wanted a 3some. Interestingly, when she said this to him, she didn’t stop him. Does she want it, but not admitting? Seems so.
We’ve role-played and started using vibrator, then larger 9 inch dildo. She’s never done it and was hesitant. Now she asks for it.
One night when drunk, I used a dildo and said I’d like seeing cock in her. She started to cum hard. Then during sex I said I’d like to see her fuck a guy. She said, “I don’t want that, but maybe a threesome.”
She once said she might kiss someone if she was drinking. She said she didn’t know, but if she felt attracted she might do more but didn’t know how much. I asked if I could set it up. She said no that she wants a guy to want her on sight naturally.
Couple weeks ago she kissed a guy. He invited her to back of bar and kissed her. She didn’t agree to sex though.

I’m confused by her inconsistent words and actions.View attachment 997900

Well, you found guy that almost got her there but he misread the signals or just couldn't get her to the right point. If you're still able to communicate with him, is there any chance that you could"run into" him again? Practice makes perfect, am I right?

 

[Yoda66]

She’s not just almost there, she’s there! When she asked you how far was too far, she was basically asking if she could fuck him, or if he could fuck her. He definitely dropped the ball, but now you know how to get her back to that point once again. Back to where she’s comfortable and relaxed enough to take things further. Just don’t forget that women get beer goggles too when they’ve had just enough to drink.

I thought the same, but on the very few occasions that she is willing to talk about it (like pulling teeth), she says she isn’t interested. She doesn’t say no, just that it doesn’t “need it.”

 

[Yoda66]

Well, you found guy that almost got her there but he misread the signals or just couldn't get her to the right point. If you're still able to communicate with him, is there any chance that you could"run into" him again? Practice makes perfect, am I right?

Actually, the second guy (guy who kissed her I original post) and I still chat.

The reason I came here is because he told me more info a couple of days ago. I’m not sure if I believe him, but but isn’t impossible.

He told me that the night he met us, he was rubbing her thighs the entire time he sat next to her. That’s true. I saw it and later she mentioned that she shouldn’t have let him touch her so much (See! Confusing). But… he told me a couple of days ago that she rubbed his thigh too and actually touched his cock outside of his pants. I asked if he thought it was intentional or accident and he said it was intentional. He also said the kiss was “more than a peck,” but short.

My plan is to ask her about this tonight when we are back home from date night. It’s her chance to admit it if confronted with my knowledge about what he said. If he lied, she will just deny. We will see.

 

[btweets]

I didn’t see this till just now but I was going to suggest not to bring it up. So anyway what happened?

 

[Yoda66]

She admitted that kiss was more than a peck and that she had her hand on his thigh. Denied touching his cock through pants.

 

[Yoda66]

Okay, so back to why I want to see her fucked. It is something I’ve wanted since we married several years ago. It isn’t about her needs, it’s about my fantasy and her “extra”pleasure. We have had a great sex life since the first time we met.

However, I see an opportunity brewing to help push this along. I have gained about 60 lbs during Covid and I am working it off. But… for the first time she said it feels different. I explained that the extra weight has reduced my cock a couple of inches because of pubic fat. She responded, “Yeah, I think that’s it.”

So, I am telling her tonight that I am going to stop fucking her for a bit until I get back in shape. In the meantime I’m going to suggest several options to keep her satisfied. I’m going to suggest more toy play, oral (which I do every time), role playing, AND a hall pass.

Y’all agree this is an opportunity? Any suggestions?

 

[majorem]

She is definitely open to something happening imo. My wife is slowly progressing there but she started out way more resistant then yours. Initially she was upset, then admitted it turned her on but just a fantasy and she would never do it. Now she seems like she might be open to it in the right situation but won't really talk about it.

Your wife, on the other hand, has not shut this down at all and seems much more open to it. I think, like many women, she is shy about admitting she likes the idea - or maybe she doesn't even know if she likes it but is open to letting it happen, if it occurs naturally and spontaneously. My wife is kind of the same in that regard, where even if she decided she was ready for some MFM, she would not want to plan it.

Women are often very cautious about upsetting us and potentially damaging the relationship. There is also a societal stigma against a woman being too slutty or deviant in her sexual desires. My wife loves to be called a dirty slut in the bedroom, takes huge dildos, loves anal sex but would be mortified if anyone found out.

I think for those reasons, it is sometimes easier for women to be in a position where "something happened to them" and maybe they were drunk vs. them soberly and deliberately agreeing to it. It's like they want plausible deniability lol...

He told me that the night he met us, he was rubbing her thighs the entire time he sat next to her. That’s true. I saw it and later she mentioned that she shouldn’t have let him touch her so much (See! Confusing). But… he told me a couple of days ago that she rubbed his thigh too and actually touched his cock outside of his pants. I asked if he thought it was intentional or accident and he said it was intentional. He also said the kiss was “more than a peck,” but short.

This totally sounds like she's into it but feels a bit guilty after and / or is worried you could become jealous. Notice, she didn't say "I didn't like him touching me" or "I shouldn't have let him touch me"... just "not so much" lol. It's like she's feeling out how you'll react by feeding you a little bit of what happened but not admitting to all of it.

I think you need to just keep setting up those situations and encourage her.

 

[2wheel]

"She said no that she wants a guy to want her on sight naturally."

This might be the key, she doesn't want a setup, she wants it to occur organically, naturally.

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

So, I am telling her tonight that I am going to stop fucking her for a bit until I get back in shape. In the meantime I’m going to suggest several options to keep her satisfied. I’m going to suggest more toy play, oral (which I do every time), role playing, AND a hall pass.

Y’all agree this is an opportunity? Any suggestions?

Maybe approach it a bit differently.
I would include her in the discussion about your sex life. This should always be a team thing; a we thing. Ask HER what she would like to try while you are getting back in shape. You could introduce ideas and then discuss them together.
If she is more receptive to some of the earlier ideas and tells you some of her own ideas, then discussion around role play could evolve into what those ideas might be (possibly including someone else). The best thing would be if she brings up the idea of a hall pass; it’s her idea! If that should happen, don’t seem too eager, but don’t act like you’re waffling on it either. Say you could support that with stipulations that you have a level of involvement whether it’s after the fact details or you being able to be there and watch.

 

[Yoda66]

Last night she agreed to a threesome with boundaries. Only intercourse with me and everything else with third person (guy). I know how excited she gets in the middle of sex, so I expect she will fuck someone once she takes this step.

 

[HotAsianwife]

Last night she agreed to a threesome with boundaries. Only intercourse with me and everything else with third person (guy). I know how excited she gets in the middle of sex, so I expect she will fuck someone once she takes this step.

I don’t think this will happen. She’s too conservative and prudish. But keep trying.
These types of woman although very boring in the sex can surprise you on occasion. It would be good to provide some pictures and evidence of the meeting for others to get some inspiration for their own situation.

 

[Yoda66]

I never said she was boring sexually. She has had 25-30 sexual partners and is multi-orgasmic and squirts heavily. She just has certain ideas about marriage and sex that differ from me and others. I’ve included pic in my original post and I have others in other threads. Just check for our media. Thanks for the info!