I don't know that this is generalizable, but I'll share my experience. I spent years trying to convince KK to have sex with other men. On the surface, she absolutely refused, but in secret, she had numerous infidelities, ranging from one-night stands to more traditional affairs, with sexual, romantic, emotional, and financial strings in the mix.
In parallel, I too was an adulterer. KK's near homicidal jealousy drove her into various negative behaviors, including revenge fucks, stalking my mistresses, even violence against them. Our transition from that mess was triggered by essentially revenge fucking, which finally led to our current hot wife lifestyle.
After that transition, KK and I both went through various phases, emotionally as well as sexually. There were some wild oscillations for KK, from guilt-driven denial and temporary cessation or reduction in her adventures with strange cock, to gonzo, cock-crazed periods where she essentially seemed to live, just to be fucked by as many men as possible - sometimes a half-dozen or more times a day, each time with a different partner.
We've now been doing this more than twenty years. While things have changed in the dynamics sense (KK has had a steady boyfriend for the last year-plus), she shows no signs of slowing down or stopping. I can't imagine, other than perhaps some health related issue, that she'd ever stop. I have no intentions, or desire to see her stop.
In our case, my first inkling that there was no turning back occurred the night of the event triggering the hot wife transition, when she admitted outright her intent: "You realize I'm going to fuck other men now. You made me do it. You wanted me to do it anyway. You left me no choice."
Our first 'real' hot wife encounter, one that I was invited to participate in as voyeur confirmed things. After a tumultuous period following the trigger event, during a combination business/pleasure trip, KK finally fulfilled my sordid dream. She picked up a stranger in the hotel lounge, brought him back to our suite, and engaged with him in the first encounter I witnessed.
She had me undress her for the stranger. As I slid the last heel off, KK said, "Stop me now, or never..."
I was frozen in stunned silence, my mind was racing, before I was able to respond, she'd rolled back, on the balls of her feet, hovering over the stranger's hard cock. I realized that my obsession, my long-running fantasy was a heartbeat away from realization - KK was going to fuck this guy, and I was going to watch.
I was on my knees, and felt my pulse, heard it pounding in my ears, and then KK did it - she slowly squatted on this man's cock, letting it penetrate her. I can still remember every millimeter of that first penetration. His glans, wrapped by KK's labia, pushing past her lips, the stranger's cock-head, inserted in my wife's wet pussy. That moment of penetration seemed like it lasted forever.
I felt a kind of insanity; some desire to yank her off this strange cock, overcome by the desire to push her down, forcing it deep into her pussy. I was in disbelief. I was finally, after decades, seeing my wife take a strange cock. I don't think I will ever forget that instant.
She lowered herself some more, taking his cock up to the circumcision scar, followed by slowly sinking onto the shaft of his cock, until he was balls-deep inside of her. KK stayed like that, motionless for a moment, before she turned back toward me, for one more look. My wife gave me a little smile, licked her lips, then turned away from me, and started to ride the stranger's cock.
From that moment onward, it was like I wasn't even in the room. KK was fucking him like she was in heat.
I experienced a whole spectrum of emotions and feelings, including another spontaneous, hands-free orgasm, cumming in my pants, watching my wife fuck him like a wild woman. More than once, I felt like I was going to throw up, or pass out, going from the feverish feeling of burning up, to being cold enough to shiver. When he came inside of KK, I nearly passed out. From my vantage point, I could see his ball sack tighten.
I tried to say, "Don't cum inside her!" Nothing came out except for a hoarse, distorted, guttural sound. His thrusts were meeting's KK's, and I knew he was cumming in her pussy. I fell forward, into the foot of the mattress, and felt my vision blur, and my head pound.
By the time I was up on my knees again, the fucking had stopped. KK was off of him, and his cock was still semi-erect, kind of tipped over, touching the inside of her thigh. Between her spread legs, I could see her parted labia, with a glob of cum dripping down in a long, runny string, onto the guy's belly.
KK turned and looked at me again, just a glance, then turned away. She started whispering something in the guy's ear, but I couldn't hear what.
He said, "Yes. Do it."
KK turned around, and started to massage his cock and balls, while he was probing her pussy and ass with his fingers.
She said, "That's it... right there... do it..."
I gathered he was stimulating my wife's pussy and ass with his fingers - KK kept working his cock and balls, and pretty soon see was hard again. I unbuckled my belt, and undid my pants, to free my own cock from the cum-splatter mess in my boxers, and started to stroke myself, watching them touch one another. It looked like the guy was almost fully erect, and KK started to lick and suck on his cock-head. She got distracted, and stopped, as another wave of orgasm came over her.
KK sort of fell face forward onto the bed. The guy rolled over, flipped KK onto her back, and got between her legs. He got her positioned so that her calves were up, on his biceps, and plunged his cock into my wife's pussy, and started fucking her. KK's head was arched back, toward the foot of the bed, and her eyes alternated between closed, then open, rolled back in the sockets, while the stranger fucked her. In short order, KK came again, and I blew my load all over the side of the mattress, listening to her moaning and vocalization, "Fuck me! God yes, fuck me! I'm fucking cumming! Fuck me!"
Sparing the blow by blow, they fucked in every position he could get KK into; doggie, missionary, prone from behind, variations of cow-girl, and even another hot 69-session.
He finally came in KK's mouth, in the dominant position, atop her while licking her clit. Then it was over. KK was laying on her back, panting, her head rolled to one side, eyes closed, for the moment, spent. Without saying a word, the guy went to the bathroom, returned after a few minutes, dressed, and left us alone in our suite.
Those phrases, "You realize I'm going to fuck other men now. You made me do it. You wanted me to do it anyway. You left me no choice.", and "Stop me now, or never..." are forever etched into my memory, prophetic, a pretty clear indicator there would be no going back, no putting the genie back in the bottle.
