Hey everyone,
I'm working on a new book that explores cuckolding and hotwifing from the woman's point of view. My previous book looked at the evolutionary science behind why men develop these desires, but the more I dug into the research, the more I realized something was missing: we almost never hear from the women.
Most of the conversation around this lifestyle treats women like a supporting character in someone else's fantasy. But you're not a prop in this. You have your own experience of it, your own journey into it, your own complicated feelings about it, and I want this next book to reflect that.
I'm looking for women who are willing to share their honest, detailed experiences. Not looking for erotica or performance. Just real talk about what this is actually like from your side.
If you're open to it, here are some questions to get you started. You don't have to answer all of them. Answer whichever ones speak to you, skip whatever doesn't, and add anything I didn't think to ask.
How it started
How did cuckolding or hotwifing first come into your relationship? Did your partner bring it up, or did you? What was your very first reaction when the idea came up? Were you shocked, curious, disgusted, intrigued, some combination? How long did it take from the first conversation to actually doing something about it? What made you eventually say yes (or what made you bring it up yourself)?
Your internal experience
What does it actually feel like to be with another man while your partner knows? Not the physical part, but emotionally, psychologically, what's happening inside your head? Is there guilt? Excitement? Power? Anxiety? Some weird mix of all of it? Has what you feel during it changed over time compared to the first time? Do you feel differently about yourself in this role than you expected to?
The relationship dynamics
How has this changed your relationship with your partner, honestly? Not the idealized version, the real one. Do you feel closer to him? More distant? Both depending on the day? Has the power dynamic between you shifted? In what way? What does the "after" look like? The hours and days after an encounter. What happens between you two?
The other man
How do you choose who you're with? What are you looking for, and is it different from what your partner thinks you're looking for? Do you develop feelings for the other men? How do you handle that? Is there something specific about being desired by someone new that matters to you, and if so, can you describe what that is?
The stuff nobody talks about
What's the hardest part of this that nobody warns you about? Have there been moments where it went wrong or you wanted to stop? What happened? Do your friends or family know? How do you handle the secrecy if they don't? Is there anything about this lifestyle that you actively dislike but put up with? Why?
Identity and self-perception
Do you see this as part of who you are, or as something you do for your relationship? Has it changed how you think about sex, desire, or monogamy in general? If you could go back to before you started, knowing everything you know now, would you do it again?
What you wish people understood
What's the biggest misconception people have about women in this lifestyle? What would you want to say to a woman whose partner just brought this up for the first time? Is there anything you wish your partner understood about your experience that he doesn't seem to get?
Again, answer as much or as little as you want. Long and detailed is great, but so is short and honest. I'm after real experiences, not polished narratives.
If you'd rather share your story privately, my DMs are open. Everything shared will be treated with respect, and any details used in the book will be anonymized.
For anyone curious about the kind of work I do, my previous book was "Why You Like to Watch: The Surprising Evolutionary Science of Sharing, Competing, and Modern Bedroom Desires" (it's on Amazon if you're curious, ASIN: B0GRC4JC12). That one was more about the science and the male perspective. This one is about you.
I'm working on a new book that explores cuckolding and hotwifing from the woman's point of view. My previous book looked at the evolutionary science behind why men develop these desires, but the more I dug into the research, the more I realized something was missing: we almost never hear from the women.
Most of the conversation around this lifestyle treats women like a supporting character in someone else's fantasy. But you're not a prop in this. You have your own experience of it, your own journey into it, your own complicated feelings about it, and I want this next book to reflect that.
I'm looking for women who are willing to share their honest, detailed experiences. Not looking for erotica or performance. Just real talk about what this is actually like from your side.
If you're open to it, here are some questions to get you started. You don't have to answer all of them. Answer whichever ones speak to you, skip whatever doesn't, and add anything I didn't think to ask.
How it started
How did cuckolding or hotwifing first come into your relationship? Did your partner bring it up, or did you? What was your very first reaction when the idea came up? Were you shocked, curious, disgusted, intrigued, some combination? How long did it take from the first conversation to actually doing something about it? What made you eventually say yes (or what made you bring it up yourself)?
Your internal experience
What does it actually feel like to be with another man while your partner knows? Not the physical part, but emotionally, psychologically, what's happening inside your head? Is there guilt? Excitement? Power? Anxiety? Some weird mix of all of it? Has what you feel during it changed over time compared to the first time? Do you feel differently about yourself in this role than you expected to?
The relationship dynamics
How has this changed your relationship with your partner, honestly? Not the idealized version, the real one. Do you feel closer to him? More distant? Both depending on the day? Has the power dynamic between you shifted? In what way? What does the "after" look like? The hours and days after an encounter. What happens between you two?
The other man
How do you choose who you're with? What are you looking for, and is it different from what your partner thinks you're looking for? Do you develop feelings for the other men? How do you handle that? Is there something specific about being desired by someone new that matters to you, and if so, can you describe what that is?
The stuff nobody talks about
What's the hardest part of this that nobody warns you about? Have there been moments where it went wrong or you wanted to stop? What happened? Do your friends or family know? How do you handle the secrecy if they don't? Is there anything about this lifestyle that you actively dislike but put up with? Why?
Identity and self-perception
Do you see this as part of who you are, or as something you do for your relationship? Has it changed how you think about sex, desire, or monogamy in general? If you could go back to before you started, knowing everything you know now, would you do it again?
What you wish people understood
What's the biggest misconception people have about women in this lifestyle? What would you want to say to a woman whose partner just brought this up for the first time? Is there anything you wish your partner understood about your experience that he doesn't seem to get?
Again, answer as much or as little as you want. Long and detailed is great, but so is short and honest. I'm after real experiences, not polished narratives.
If you'd rather share your story privately, my DMs are open. Everything shared will be treated with respect, and any details used in the book will be anonymized.
For anyone curious about the kind of work I do, my previous book was "Why You Like to Watch: The Surprising Evolutionary Science of Sharing, Competing, and Modern Bedroom Desires" (it's on Amazon if you're curious, ASIN: B0GRC4JC12). That one was more about the science and the male perspective. This one is about you.
