Need advice: Struggling with fantasy of seeing my wife with someone else

[tina41222009]

I’ve been struggling with something in my marriage and would love some perspective.

My wife and I are in our late 30s from India, and while our relationship is strong, I sometimes feel I’m not fully able to satisfy her in bed the way I’d like to. Lately, I’ve been having strong urges and fantasies about seeing her with another man — not in a purely voyeuristic way, but more from the desire to see her truly pleasured and enjoying herself.

I haven’t shared this openly with her yet, but in small ways I’ve tried to boost her confidence and get her more comfortable expressing her sensual side (asking her to dress sexily, encouraging us to go out more, etc.). In the past, there was a situation at a wedding where I noticed she could be open to attention, though it never went further. It was at my Brother-in-law's wedding where his Boss was showing a lot in intrest in her and i noticed that. So, I sidelined myself to see where things go. She was very cautious with how she behaves althought she did started liking him. I felt a weird kink grow inside me and started imagining him and her in intimate poses. Though, it stayed limited to a little soft flirting, some dancing together in cocktail party and some soft groping/hugging while dancing. One thing which I realised was that she too wants attention and intimacy and also wants attention. I do think that with right amount of push and a nice third, she might just go ahead with my fantacy.

What I really want is for this to feel organic and genuine — not something I’m forsing or pushing her into, but something she would actually want if the right opportunity and attraction were there. I’m nervous about how to even bring this up without making her feel pressured..

So my questions are:

• Am I doing the right thing by working behind the scens and making things happen?
• Also, should i work with the third and execute a plan without her knowledge and see if she takes the bait?
• Are there safe communities or apps where people explore this kind of lifestyle (if it ever got to that point)?

Any advice from people who have been through something similar — or just general wisdom — would be really appreciated.

 

[Stevens4fun]

Are there cultural restrictions or religious barriers that would inhibit an Indian wife? Please pardon my ignorance, we Americans are not real well versed in different cultures. That said, .....my favorite approach to open a sexy discussion: there's going to be a moment when you and your wife are in bed chatting as you begin to aroused one another. Maybe she's had a drink or two. Tactfully (don't forse the discussion, use that great personal charm of yours) share with her that you had a sex dream and woke up with a huge erection. No woman could resist asking you "what was it about?" Then you tell her how in your dream the guy (the man you said she was attracted to) invited the two of you to his hotel room for a drink and you had a threesome. You make it clear that what excited you the most was being in a more submissive role. Her responses will tell you if she's interested and if it's an open and positive response, let her take the lead. As this dream revelation of yours is coming out of nowhere it's important to let your wife know your marriage is secure, the dream was just highly arousing and seemed like it would be sexy and erotic fun.

 

[FilinaHotWife]

A common conundrum indeed. Best of luck, please update us how its going. Check fetlife.

Hinduism is SUPER conservative about sex, second only to Islam. Thailand the place where they can let loose. Bali too, but to a lesser degree as its a Hindu island (in a Muslim majority country loaded with taboos).

 

[robbiewillsucku]

start licking her pussy clean after you fuck her - on the 10th time while licking her pussy tell her that you are fantasizing that she fucked a man earlier in the day and you are licking his cum from her pussy.

 

[Ht805cpl]

I’ve been struggling with something in my marriage and would love some perspective.

My wife and I are in our late 30s from India, and while our relationship is strong, I sometimes feel I’m not fully able to satisfy her in bed the way I’d like to. Lately, I’ve been having strong urges and fantasies about seeing her with another man — not in a purely voyeuristic way, but more from the desire to see her truly pleasured and enjoying herself.

I haven’t shared this openly with her yet, but in small ways I’ve tried to boost her confidence and get her more comfortable expressing her sensual side (asking her to dress sexily, encouraging us to go out more, etc.). In the past, there was a situation at a wedding where I noticed she could be open to attention, though it never went further. It was at my Brother-in-law's wedding where his Boss was showing a lot in intrest in her and i noticed that. So, I sidelined myself to see where things go. She was very cautious with how she behaves althought she did started liking him. I felt a weird kink grow inside me and started imagining him and her in intimate poses. Though, it stayed limited to a little soft flirting, some dancing together in cocktail party and some soft groping/hugging while dancing. One thing which I realised was that she too wants attention and intimacy and also wants attention. I do think that with right amount of push and a nice third, she might just go ahead with my fantacy.

What I really want is for this to feel organic and genuine — not something I’m forsing or pushing her into, but something she would actually want if the right opportunity and attraction were there. I’m nervous about how to even bring this up without making her feel pressured..

So my questions are:

• Am I doing the right thing by working behind the scens and making things happen?
• Also, should i work with the third and execute a plan without her knowledge and see if she takes the bait?
• Are there safe communities or apps where people explore this kind of lifestyle (if it ever got to that point)?

Any advice from people who have been through something similar — or just general wisdom — would be really appreciated.

Hey just seen you post, I am a wife in an open relationship. If you’d like to talk message me perhaps I could offer some options to encourage her to the next step!

 

[Phun Times 727]

There is a lot at play here. As someone in this type of relationship I would suggest open communication from the beginning. Trying to fool her into doing it can backfire and cause huge problems. Take some time and plan a discussion and lay out how you have been feeling and what your desired outcome is. She will most likely resist at first as that is what society has conditioned her to do, and she may or may not be open to it. You have to respect her wishes but understand they can change over time. If she resists at first maybe table it for now and revisit later on. She might be willing from the start. My wife resisted for a few days but then was willing to talk about it. This was not good though as she felt internally like I was trying to hand her off to someone so please talk openly.

If you do decide to proceed I would recommend looking to people already in the lifestyle so expectations are realistic and the situation is contained to just the act of sex as opposed to a lot of emotions. Believe it or not there is an entire society of people that do this and they can make this less difficult especially for a first time experience.

 

[paracufz]

I’ve been struggling with something in my marriage and would love some perspective.

My wife and I are in our late 30s from India, and while our relationship is strong, I sometimes feel I’m not fully able to satisfy her in bed the way I’d like to. Lately, I’ve been having strong urges and fantasies about seeing her with another man — not in a purely voyeuristic way, but more from the desire to see her truly pleasured and enjoying herself.

I haven’t shared this openly with her yet, but in small ways I’ve tried to boost her confidence and get her more comfortable expressing her sensual side (asking her to dress sexily, encouraging us to go out more, etc.). In the past, there was a situation at a wedding where I noticed she could be open to attention, though it never went further. It was at my Brother-in-law's wedding where his Boss was showing a lot in intrest in her and i noticed that. So, I sidelined myself to see where things go. She was very cautious with how she behaves althought she did started liking him. I felt a weird kink grow inside me and started imagining him and her in intimate poses. Though, it stayed limited to a little soft flirting, some dancing together in cocktail party and some soft groping/hugging while dancing. One thing which I realised was that she too wants attention and intimacy and also wants attention. I do think that with right amount of push and a nice third, she might just go ahead with my fantacy.

What I really want is for this to feel organic and genuine — not something I’m forsing or pushing her into, but something she would actually want if the right opportunity and attraction were there. I’m nervous about how to even bring this up without making her feel pressured..

So my questions are:

• Am I doing the right thing by working behind the scens and making things happen?
• Also, should i work with the third and execute a plan without her knowledge and see if she takes the bait?
• Are there safe communities or apps where people explore this kind of lifestyle (if it ever got to that point)?

Any advice from people who have been through something similar — or just general wisdom — would be really appreciated.

You can try to leave the option open for her to cuck you buy in my experience one of the best ways to convince her is to have the conversation while you are licking her pussy.

My wife was a bit shy but once she got turned on she shocked even me at how slutty she got.

 

[Wantsomefunto]

I think first build her confidence to dress sexier, when you take her out tell her how guys are checking her out and how proud you are she is desired. Then ask her to go out to dance and you watch from a distance