My husband and I have an unconventional lifestyle (well, most people not on this site would consider it unconventional!). I am posting this to explain our evolution. I don't know if anyone can relate, but it may help someone in some way. My goal is to describe how we came to the realization that I was compersive (to put the term simply, a little used "kink" term for receiving true pleasure out of seeing a loved one receive joy. Some say "compersion" is the opposite of jealousy, but that's not technically correct). We had no idea that I was a cuckquean, and had never even heard the term, until a few years ago. I hope this doesn't turn out too lengthy. It will add more later if there is an interest and even get more "graphic" and detailed, but feel free to call "uncle" when you've had enough! : ) My husband is a very attractive 6' tall, blonde, blue eyed, broad shouldered charismatic man. Women continually hit on him. Initially, I resisted this and we would argue about it even though he never acted on any of these flirtation. I felt, for some reason, that once married, even flirtations were off the table (my religious upbringing?). Deep down, though, it always got me very excited. I had no idea what was happening to me. I got wet and turned when a cute girl would "hit" on my husband in front of me, but I felt I needed to "defend" my marriage. I was never afraid he would leave me and the arguments never got bad, but I would always say something - every time. I finally realized that I was simply acting as I was expected to act and that I was not really upset by these girls. They were simply doing what came naturally - you see a hot guy, you hit on him! No brainer! They were mostly young and we were a bit older when we got together. Back then, I was embarrassed to admit to my husband that I found it thrilling to know when there was an attraction between himself and a hot girl. What kind of wife had I become?? Was I mentally ill? Didn't I love my husband? My husband, being the very intelligent and tuned in man that he is, figured out that our sex was incredible after one of our rows over a flirting incident. He also realized that it wasn't me being "jealous", but more "conditioned" by society to act as I was acting. He asked me if it turned me on that hot girls found him attractive and if I wanted him to act on it. I came so hard that he felt it more than at any other time in our lives! From that moment on, our sex life, and subsequently, our marriage became infinitely better. We weren't ready to act on it, but we were ready to discuss it in detail any chance we got. We decided that neither of us was ready to open our marriage, but we were prepared to open up to exploring where we would go with the potential for his having sex with other girls at some point in the future. He was now free and comfortable to openly flirt any time he so desired! Our sex life was never better and our healthy communication increased. I would have to say our arguments decreased to such a negligible amount that they were nearly nonexistent! Our marriage was so peaceful now that we were making love vs. having endless discussions about other women. As we made love, he honestly and openly told me stories of girls who shamelessly flirted with him each time it happened. I, of course, realized that this had been taking place the entire time we were together and that turned me on even more. Our sex life soared! He came home with many stories and the things that happened in front of my face became more blatant. It was a LOT of fun! He never went too far. We began to discuss going all the way with our new kink, but we weren't sure how it would play out in RL. We began to look for pictures of girls that turned him on and that was fun, but real life stuff was WAY better. We read everything we could find on this topic. (Some readings we recommend are: Opening Up by Taormina (sp?) and The Threesome Handbook by Vicky Vantoch (5 stars) and there are many good cuckquean blogs and tumblrs). When we were with friends, things got really heated up and that's where our taking it to the next step occurred. I may post about our first foray, but only if there is an interest. Thanks for reading!