Our Lifestyle Journey: From Curiosity to First Experience

My partner M (40) and I (37) have been together for several years. We have one ......, with another on the way, and like many of you here, we’ve been exploring ways to keep our intimacy strong and evolve together.

For a long time, I was deeply interested in the cuckolding and stag-vixen dynamic. It wasn’t something I acted on or even mentioned for years, but the idea stayed with me. It was more of a mental turn-on than a fully mapped-out fantasy.

One night, while we were in bed and doing some foreplay, I finally brought it up. I said, “Would you mind if I told you something that’s been really turning me on?” Not the smoothest opener, but it was honest. She said yes, and I shared how much it excited me to imagine her with another man while I watched. M was understandably hesitant. Her first question wasn’t judgment. It was curiosity. “Are you saying you want to ...... with other people too?”

I told her no. This wasn’t about me wanting to hook up with others. It was about the idea of seeing her desired and pleasured. She had never heard of cuckolding or the hotwife dynamic before, so we took time to talk it through. M made it clear that if we tried anything, it would need to happen slowly and with full transparency. Her biggest concern wasn’t the act itself. It was how it might affect our relationship afterward.

We agreed on baby steps.

After tossing around a few ideas, we decided to check out a swingers club. We live in Florida and chose a spot called Trapeze. Just planning the night was exciting. There was a noticeable uptick in our sex life leading up to it. Anticipation itself became foreplay.

When we got there, it was not the sexiest environment. The vibe was a mix of older couples and a heavy single-male crowd. That said, we got drinks and tried to ease into the scene. M was easily the most attractive woman in the place, but surprisingly, we weren’t approached. That was a bit of a reality check about these environments. They are not always the fantasy you build in your head.

Eventually, we decided to have sex in the main playroom, which has a large window facing the lounge area. We tend to go to bed early, so we were the first ones in. As we started fooling around, a small crowd of guys gathered at the glass to watch. About fifteen minutes in, another attractive couple joined and started doing their own thing nearby. We didn’t interact with anyone else, but it was a wild shift in energy to go from talking about this in theory to actually putting it into practice.

When we finished, the crowd gave us a round of applause. It was surreal and kind of funny. We missed the buffet entirely, which added another layer of strange to the evening.
 
My partner M (40) and I (37) have been together for several years. We have one ......, with another on the way, and like many of you here, we’ve been exploring ways to keep our intimacy strong and evolve together.

For a long time, I was deeply interested in the cuckolding and stag-vixen dynamic. It wasn’t something I acted on or even mentioned for years, but the idea stayed with me. It was more of a mental turn-on than a fully mapped-out fantasy.

One night, while we were in bed and doing some foreplay, I finally brought it up. I said, “Would you mind if I told you something that’s been really turning me on?” Not the smoothest opener, but it was honest. She said yes, and I shared how much it excited me to imagine her with another man while I watched. M was understandably hesitant. Her first question wasn’t judgment. It was curiosity. “Are you saying you want to ...... with other people too?”

I told her no. This wasn’t about me wanting to hook up with others. It was about the idea of seeing her desired and pleasured. She had never heard of cuckolding or the hotwife dynamic before, so we took time to talk it through. M made it clear that if we tried anything, it would need to happen slowly and with full transparency. Her biggest concern wasn’t the act itself. It was how it might affect our relationship afterward.

We agreed on baby steps.

After tossing around a few ideas, we decided to check out a swingers club. We live in Florida and chose a spot called Trapeze. Just planning the night was exciting. There was a noticeable uptick in our sex life leading up to it. Anticipation itself became foreplay.

When we got there, it was not the sexiest environment. The vibe was a mix of older couples and a heavy single-male crowd. That said, we got drinks and tried to ease into the scene. M was easily the most attractive woman in the place, but surprisingly, we weren’t approached. That was a bit of a reality check about these environments. They are not always the fantasy you build in your head.

Eventually, we decided to have sex in the main playroom, which has a large window facing the lounge area. We tend to go to bed early, so we were the first ones in. As we started fooling around, a small crowd of guys gathered at the glass to watch. About fifteen minutes in, another attractive couple joined and started doing their own thing nearby. We didn’t interact with anyone else, but it was a wild shift in energy to go from talking about this in theory to actually putting it into practice.

When we finished, the crowd gave us a round of applause. It was surreal and kind of funny. We missed the buffet entirely, which added another layer of strange to the evening.
Sounds good to me.
 
Interesting. Our first toe dip, was at a lifestyle resort in Tampa. Awesome place but we both got hit on by the women and not the men.

Y'all took the extra step we did not. There was an upper pool at this place where I saw a lady giving a BJ. However we stayed at the lower pool. Which was probably to conservative of a move. Then that night at the club. We just danced and never went to the playroom. We were hopeful some guy would dance with her and flirt in the club and it never happened. More women flirted with her than men.

So If you're a newbie and go to this lifestyle places, your woman has to be "forward" or it's like any other club. At least that's our experience.

Edit to add: Trapeze is different type place than where we went. Just for context. But seems the premise is the same.
 
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That's great to know. Will keep that in mind next visit.
When I had left to use restroom I had thought for sure some guy what be chatting her up by the time I had gotten back... but no luck.
 
That's great to know. Will keep that in mind next visit.
When I had left to use restroom I had thought for sure some guy what be chatting her up by the time I had gotten back... but no luck.
Waiting for the mr to use the restroom to swoop in on the mrs is considered bad etiquette in most groups, so it sounds like you were in a fairly respectful crowd.

We've had similar experiences at clubs and parties and then I explained to my wife that her giving a little bit of eye contact and maybe even a small smile would go a long way, and it did.

Enjoy the anticipation in the meantime!
 
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