Playing with men on your own
- Thread starter Jwylde
- Start date
I agree with you. It’s very hard.
Variance
Male
I gave several BJs to a guy back in ’19.
I was 100% hetero until then w/zero curiosity, but after learning my then-wife cheated, I went from jerking off, imagining my wife getting fucked…to showing off my wife’s boudoir pics as I submitted to a dominant alpha-male.
After we divorced (due to other reasons), the compulsion seemed to go away, and I began viewing it, like it was some weird experimental cock-sucking phase that was now in my past.
Then 18 months ago, I started dating a beautiful, sexy younger girl (I’m 37, she’s 25). And I couldn’t believe it when she agreed to move in with me.
Suddenly, I was jerking off, imagining my new gf cheating on me. And shortly thereafter, the cock-sucking urges came flooding back, like wanting to re-experience that surreal feeling of being humbled again.
But while I’d obviously be doing it behind my new gf’s back, i.e. "on my own", she still plays the central role. Like it’s my gf who’s he talking about, who he’s looking at, as he cock-slaps my face.
It only works for me because my gf is part of it. Like a gay guy wouldn’t interest me. I want an otherwise hetero-guy who really does want to fuck my girl. Which gives it such a cuck vibe, but without the crazy reality of being cuckolded in real life.
My gf would be horrified if she ever saw me giving a BJ. And if/when she cheats on me, she’s far more likely to dump my ass, then to ever go along with having a cuckold for a husband.
So, given my situation, she can’t be part of any of this in actual real life. But she’s still right there beside me, cock-teasing him with her smile and tits as I get on my knees.
My main point, I guess is, my curiosity/compulsion to suck cock again, is dependent on my relationship status (have to be with a serious girl/wife), and my confidence level in the relationship (increasingly insecure & jerking like a cuckold). Which I know objectively is very f’d up. But for me at least, there seems that correlation, both times that's been the situation.
I was 100% hetero until then w/zero curiosity, but after learning my then-wife cheated, I went from jerking off, imagining my wife getting fucked…to showing off my wife’s boudoir pics as I submitted to a dominant alpha-male.
After we divorced (due to other reasons), the compulsion seemed to go away, and I began viewing it, like it was some weird experimental cock-sucking phase that was now in my past.
Then 18 months ago, I started dating a beautiful, sexy younger girl (I’m 37, she’s 25). And I couldn’t believe it when she agreed to move in with me.
Suddenly, I was jerking off, imagining my new gf cheating on me. And shortly thereafter, the cock-sucking urges came flooding back, like wanting to re-experience that surreal feeling of being humbled again.
But while I’d obviously be doing it behind my new gf’s back, i.e. "on my own", she still plays the central role. Like it’s my gf who’s he talking about, who he’s looking at, as he cock-slaps my face.
It only works for me because my gf is part of it. Like a gay guy wouldn’t interest me. I want an otherwise hetero-guy who really does want to fuck my girl. Which gives it such a cuck vibe, but without the crazy reality of being cuckolded in real life.
My gf would be horrified if she ever saw me giving a BJ. And if/when she cheats on me, she’s far more likely to dump my ass, then to ever go along with having a cuckold for a husband.
So, given my situation, she can’t be part of any of this in actual real life. But she’s still right there beside me, cock-teasing him with her smile and tits as I get on my knees.
My main point, I guess is, my curiosity/compulsion to suck cock again, is dependent on my relationship status (have to be with a serious girl/wife), and my confidence level in the relationship (increasingly insecure & jerking like a cuckold). Which I know objectively is very f’d up. But for me at least, there seems that correlation, both times that's been the situation.
You might try hinting around about it just to get some insights about how she feels about it. When I told my hot gf I was sucking my gay friends big cock she asked if she could join in. Surprised the hell out of me.
Occasionally i used to go to a bath house in the city, about an hr away, suck a few cocks at the gloryholes, get mine sucked, then go home. I must have done it a dozen times.
One day I was headed out when I saw a cousin of mine coming in. I was in the dark, and since he came in from the outside his eyes hadn't adjusted and I could tell he didn't see me - but I definitely saw him.
That's the last time I ever did that, but i still sometimes hook up using Adam 4 adam.
One day I was headed out when I saw a cousin of mine coming in. I was in the dark, and since he came in from the outside his eyes hadn't adjusted and I could tell he didn't see me - but I definitely saw him.
That's the last time I ever did that, but i still sometimes hook up using Adam 4 adam.
Yes I have started to play with men on my own .I have always crossdressed but since my wife started having sex with other men I've become obsessed .I now dress regularly in my pvc mini skirt ,satin panties stockings etc .I've started going dogging and get turned on by the men who come and watch me through the car window wanking their cocks .I've let some of them caress my pantie bulge and have allowed a few to wank me .I've touched another CDs pantie bulge and have recently caressed and wanked several cocks .I find myself fantasizing about more particularly with other CD s .