My girlfriend (23F) and I, (22M), have been together for over 4 years now. I have the kink of being cucked which developed during our relationship when talking about threesomes a few years ago. It has seriously developed into her wanting to try it and me only imagining her getting fucked whilst watching porn and getting off etc. even during sex it’s the main dirty talk. In the past we’ve looked for men but never been lucky. But even then I always end up chickening out. I’m starting to feel bad as I can’t imagine the frustration she must be going through. She always reassures me that it’s my kink and she’s up for trying everything once and then if she/ we don’t like it we won’t do it again. She has some hard no’s like scat play, so trying everything once is within reason.
Last night, we’re both living long distance at the moment, we were horny over the phone. And I sent her some long distance Femdom tasks and ideas she could tell me to do whenever she wants. I also included some cuckolding ones in there, I didn’t want to send these yet but I was so horny so I did. They were nothing relating to her actually going out and meeting/ talking/ or fucking anyone. But as she got them and started reading them out, she said, I need experience for these things though, (they were light teasing things she could say to me such as seeing how fast I could come talking about having her sloppy seconds and so on). But she got really into it and I’ve never heard her speak like this before, it really excited me and I got so damn horny. In the moment. It eventually got to a point where she said right, “you’ve got 2 minutes to come and send me a video of it, and I’m going to go set up an profile to find someone to fuck her”. This made me so horny, but, I chickened out and didn’t like the idea but liked it to satisfy myself. So I asked her not to. But never before has she suggested making a profile to meet someone unless I asked her to and we haven’t made a profile in over a year. About 10 minutes later we were still flirting on the topic of making an account, and she started talking about how she wants to fuck someone tonight or tomorrow if she can’t find someone at that short notice but she was pretty dedicated. The feeling was immense in both jealousy but so good in terms of imagining her with someone else.
However I convinced her not to in the sense that for our first time doing it I wanted to be there. In person but especially long distance I seem to chicken out. This morning, we were talking about it, I said it seemed that you were 99% going to do the things you said last night, she agreed that with how horny we made each other, she was really going to it, she said she wasn’t even thinking of me or my dick one bit. I think the main thing is that I’m afraid to lose her. What should I do?
Last night, we’re both living long distance at the moment, we were horny over the phone. And I sent her some long distance Femdom tasks and ideas she could tell me to do whenever she wants. I also included some cuckolding ones in there, I didn’t want to send these yet but I was so horny so I did. They were nothing relating to her actually going out and meeting/ talking/ or fucking anyone. But as she got them and started reading them out, she said, I need experience for these things though, (they were light teasing things she could say to me such as seeing how fast I could come talking about having her sloppy seconds and so on). But she got really into it and I’ve never heard her speak like this before, it really excited me and I got so damn horny. In the moment. It eventually got to a point where she said right, “you’ve got 2 minutes to come and send me a video of it, and I’m going to go set up an profile to find someone to fuck her”. This made me so horny, but, I chickened out and didn’t like the idea but liked it to satisfy myself. So I asked her not to. But never before has she suggested making a profile to meet someone unless I asked her to and we haven’t made a profile in over a year. About 10 minutes later we were still flirting on the topic of making an account, and she started talking about how she wants to fuck someone tonight or tomorrow if she can’t find someone at that short notice but she was pretty dedicated. The feeling was immense in both jealousy but so good in terms of imagining her with someone else.
However I convinced her not to in the sense that for our first time doing it I wanted to be there. In person but especially long distance I seem to chicken out. This morning, we were talking about it, I said it seemed that you were 99% going to do the things you said last night, she agreed that with how horny we made each other, she was really going to it, she said she wasn’t even thinking of me or my dick one bit. I think the main thing is that I’m afraid to lose her. What should I do?
