I think that a sexually closed marriage is unnatural and leads to sexual frustration and marriage problems. On the other hand a sexually open marriage must face issues of STD, unwanted pregnancy and feelings of jealous.
Concerns about STD and pregnancy can be resolved with condoms and other common-sense solutions. But you can’t by something in a ...... store to solve the problem of jealous. I think that jealousy is the brick wall that stunts human sexual fulfilment and I thought I would make some comments about it.
Couples where one or both partners have deeply ingrained jealousy and insecurity should probably not even consider having a sexually open marriage. Neither Carl nor I have ever been the “jealous type,” but we were not born immune to such negative and selfish feelings. To be honest, I had way more growing to do in that regard then Carl did.
The idea of sharing me first occurred to Carl. Those thoughts were stirred when he realized that rather than feel jealous about a guy that was hitting on me he was aroused by it. Men are triggered by visual stimulation and even his fantasy-mental-image of watching me fuck the guy made him hard rather than upset. The resulted in his exploring the topic of shared wives and exploring his own feelings. He began to realize how petty any feelings of jealousy really were. It did not bother him to think of a chief in a nice restaurant making a meal that pleasured my taste buds. It did not bother him if I got a massage from a nice looking professional masseur. So why should it bother him if another guy pleasured my breasts and genitals? Logically why would a man that loves his wife not want her to enjoy all kinds of pleasures in life including sexual pleasures? And why would he want to be the sole source of her pleasure? The only answer is insecurity jealousy.
After we talked about all of this together and both agreed that we wanted to try it I was still worried that after I fucked someone else feelings of jealousy would rear up and cause problems. But after the first time I realized that it truly did not make him jealous. Therefore I fully embraced the fact that I could be in a loving and secure marriage and still enjoy the excitement and satisfaction of a single woman that can flirt and bed lovers.
The degree that I pursued and enjoyed my newly discovered lust for sexual variety the more I felt guilty that I was enjoy lots of cock but he was still only experiencing my pussy. So, I ended up giving him a FMF with my girlfriend Heather who I knew had a crush on him for years. The FMF did not make me jealous but after we tried that Carl and Heather started having one on one sex every chance they could. Basically they went into honeymoon mode. That did make me jealous. At the same time I knew I had been through several honeymoon modes with several guys and Carl never became upset. So we talked and I realized it was natural that they would go through a phase like that and I had to root out selfish feelings of jealousy. In time we did a FMF with my older sister Lynn and they too went into a honeymoon phase for about 6 months. I finally realized that I love Heather, I certainly love my sister and I deeply love my husband. So why not be happy about their mutual pleasure?
Now when we have a party and I see Lynn or Heather fucking Carl I love it. We both view the sex that we have with others as an extension of OUR marriage sex. We only fuck people that we both agree are safe. So there is no cheating and there is no reason for jealousy. The result is that we are closer and feel more loved and cared for.
Getting to this point in our marriage may sound easy when reading a few paragraphs about it. But it is years of thinking and talking openly and working to eradicate the negative energy of jealousy.
How jealous or you? Your mate? Has it been an issue? What have you done about it? I would love to read other comments on this topic.
Concerns about STD and pregnancy can be resolved with condoms and other common-sense solutions. But you can’t by something in a ...... store to solve the problem of jealous. I think that jealousy is the brick wall that stunts human sexual fulfilment and I thought I would make some comments about it.
Couples where one or both partners have deeply ingrained jealousy and insecurity should probably not even consider having a sexually open marriage. Neither Carl nor I have ever been the “jealous type,” but we were not born immune to such negative and selfish feelings. To be honest, I had way more growing to do in that regard then Carl did.
The idea of sharing me first occurred to Carl. Those thoughts were stirred when he realized that rather than feel jealous about a guy that was hitting on me he was aroused by it. Men are triggered by visual stimulation and even his fantasy-mental-image of watching me fuck the guy made him hard rather than upset. The resulted in his exploring the topic of shared wives and exploring his own feelings. He began to realize how petty any feelings of jealousy really were. It did not bother him to think of a chief in a nice restaurant making a meal that pleasured my taste buds. It did not bother him if I got a massage from a nice looking professional masseur. So why should it bother him if another guy pleasured my breasts and genitals? Logically why would a man that loves his wife not want her to enjoy all kinds of pleasures in life including sexual pleasures? And why would he want to be the sole source of her pleasure? The only answer is insecurity jealousy.
After we talked about all of this together and both agreed that we wanted to try it I was still worried that after I fucked someone else feelings of jealousy would rear up and cause problems. But after the first time I realized that it truly did not make him jealous. Therefore I fully embraced the fact that I could be in a loving and secure marriage and still enjoy the excitement and satisfaction of a single woman that can flirt and bed lovers.
The degree that I pursued and enjoyed my newly discovered lust for sexual variety the more I felt guilty that I was enjoy lots of cock but he was still only experiencing my pussy. So, I ended up giving him a FMF with my girlfriend Heather who I knew had a crush on him for years. The FMF did not make me jealous but after we tried that Carl and Heather started having one on one sex every chance they could. Basically they went into honeymoon mode. That did make me jealous. At the same time I knew I had been through several honeymoon modes with several guys and Carl never became upset. So we talked and I realized it was natural that they would go through a phase like that and I had to root out selfish feelings of jealousy. In time we did a FMF with my older sister Lynn and they too went into a honeymoon phase for about 6 months. I finally realized that I love Heather, I certainly love my sister and I deeply love my husband. So why not be happy about their mutual pleasure?
Now when we have a party and I see Lynn or Heather fucking Carl I love it. We both view the sex that we have with others as an extension of OUR marriage sex. We only fuck people that we both agree are safe. So there is no cheating and there is no reason for jealousy. The result is that we are closer and feel more loved and cared for.
Getting to this point in our marriage may sound easy when reading a few paragraphs about it. But it is years of thinking and talking openly and working to eradicate the negative energy of jealousy.
How jealous or you? Your mate? Has it been an issue? What have you done about it? I would love to read other comments on this topic.
