Some questions for the wives

[JessicaJess]

Hi all, I’ve been lurking here for quite some time and now I guess it’s my time to post.

My husband and I sort of fell into this lifestyle by accident about three years ago but since that time we’ve become very active and enjoyed what it has to offer.

My question is to other wives really, do you ever feel guilty, feel like you’re cheating? Now I know I’m not cheating but still three years later it feels like I’m doing something wrong. I enjoy my time with other people and my husband loves hearing all the details so I know there is nothing to worry about from that regard but there’s just that nagging feeling that won’t go away.

My husband thinks it’s because we are very secretive and wants to out ourselves to the world so we can just be who we are. People will either accept us or won’t but at least we’ll know where we stand. The thought of being able to open up to some girlfriends quite excites me but the risks attached seem huge. Has anyone gone down this path? How did it go? Do other women treat you differently if you’re around their partners once they know thinking you might try something?

Sorry for the barrage of questions. We’re totally engrossed in this but I feel I’m drifting away from family and friends so I can spend another night or weekend with a lover. Do people set limits, like only once a week/month? Have you ever declined invitations from friends because you would rather spend the weekend with a lover? I’ve been finding that when I go out with friends that all I think about is what I could be doing instead.

Thanks.

 

[VixenCoupleTN]

Hi all, I’ve been lurking here for quite some time and now I guess it’s my time to post.

My husband and I sort of fell into this lifestyle by accident about three years ago but since that time we’ve become very active and enjoyed what it has to offer.

My question is to other wives really, do you ever feel guilty, feel like you’re cheating? Now I know I’m not cheating but still three years later it feels like I’m doing something wrong. I enjoy my time with other people and my husband loves hearing all the details so I know there is nothing to worry about from that regard but there’s just that nagging feeling that won’t go away.

My husband thinks it’s because we are very secretive and wants to out ourselves to the world so we can just be who we are. People will either accept us or won’t but at least we’ll know where we stand. The thought of being able to open up to some girlfriends quite excites me but the risks attached seem huge. Has anyone gone down this path? How did it go? Do other women treat you differently if you’re around their partners once they know thinking you might try something?

Sorry for the barrage of questions. We’re totally engrossed in this but I feel I’m drifting away from family and friends so I can spend another night or weekend with a lover. Do people set limits, like only once a week/month? Have you ever declined invitations from friends because you would rather spend the weekend with a lover? I’ve been finding that when I go out with friends that all I think about is what I could be doing instead.

Thanks.

Your feeling that way is probably somewhat normal. With us I don't really go out with guys by myself. We normally just have guys over for MFM. However if i did go out on a date etc. i would probably be thinking about what my husband is doing etc. We are totally open with each other and most likely he would want me to video having sex with my lover so he can see all the details later. We are not secretive really about our lifestyle but we don't advertise to people openly.

 

[wisper69]

Hi, I'm not a woman obviously, but I'll answer what my girlfriend says to me when we talk about this topic.

She said she felt really bad the first times. When I was back home she didn't want to talk about that and so on... But after a few weeks the situation changed, we had very deep conversations and now she is sure I'm enjoying this as well.

She always says that the guilty feeling doesn't disappeared 100%, but when she is horny and needs sex she didn't think about that 😅

 

[naturalcucky]

My wife says there is no guilt involved. Enjoys risk-free whoring. We live this life in secret.

 

[JessicaJess]

She always says that the guilty feeling doesn't disappeared 100%, but when she is horny and needs sex she didn't think about that

I'm much the same I guess. I don't think about it at the time but, nor do I think about it once I get home and talk to my hubby about it, but for example I might be training one of my clients the next day and I just randomly start thinking about what a sl*t I have been and feel a little guilty. It obviously hasn't stopped me but I was just wondering if any others ever felt the same.

I do like my hubby's idea of coming out, I'm just not sure how that plays out in the real world. How many friends and family just steer clear of you, I can't imagine most would be fully accepting.

 

[JessicaJess]

We are not secretive really about our lifestyle

That sounds great. How did it play out with those that do know? Did you lose friends? Do they treat you differently now they know? Are they ok if you bring your lover to a party?

 

[ViennaCouple]

A few months ago we started in this lifestyle and we have an open profile on couple dating apps (3F, Feeld) so we’re not trying to hide it, but also we’re not advertising it around especially not to your ‘conservative families’ but a few of our friends know and they’re accepting and a couple of them want to go out with us on a date. So I say pick one or two friends you’re comfortable with and start opening up to them and see how that goes.
Hope this helps.

 

[2wheel]

Keep your personal business personal, don't make it public. Even those that claim to not be judgemental will do so.

 

[JessicaJess]

Keep your personal business personal, don't make it public. Even those that claim to not be judgemental will do so.

This is exactly how I've always felt but you know what, I miss going out with girlfriends and laughing and giggling when talking about out sex lives. Now I just have to make stuff up, I would love to shock them and tell them exactly what we've been doing for the last few years.
I think what @ViennaCouple says is on the money. I might just pick one or two who I trust implicitly and see how it goes.
I just want to share... as well as be shared

 

[shymalea62]

I'm much the same I guess. I don't think about it at the time but, nor do I think about it once I get home and talk to my hubby about it, but for example I might be training one of my clients the next day and I just randomly start thinking about what a sl*t I have been and feel a little guilty. It obviously hasn't stopped me but I was just wondering if any others ever felt the same.

I do like my hubby's idea of coming out, I'm just not sure how that plays out in the real world. How many friends and family just steer clear of you, I can't imagine most would be fully acc

This is exactly how I've always felt but you know what, I miss going out with girlfriends and laughing and giggling when talking about out sex lives. Now I just have to make stuff up, I would love to shock them and tell them exactly what we've been doing for the last few years.
I think what @ViennaCouple says is on the money. I might just pick one or two who I trust implicitly and see how it goes.
I just want to share... as well as be shared

i like it to read what naughty girls and hotwifes got on their kinky mind!but to answer your question,most important is honesty&respect between you&husband,sharing with other people is something we were nervous about but also turning us on so we went for it,wife went out 2&3times a month with friends ands 1sister&1aunt,she told them how she loved to show her lingerie at work and that i loved it also,so much i encouraged her to go further and she did,first there was silence and then naughty confessions and fantasies from them for the rest of the evening,now their husbands&familymembers knew it also and even when they are not liking it,every(mostly)men,couldn,t hide how turned on they were,isn,t it more honestly to be open ,or would you want to be,as many other,going to a whore to do what you don,t get at home?

 

[Catholic_Wife]

wife responding:

Yes, on several occasions the lifestyle has brought me certain feelings of guilt and doubt. Like any other phenomenon in our lives, even more so a risky one, it would be impossible to bypass those sensations.

Among what I felt most frequently, I can mention the feeling of doing something that could suddenly be seen as purely wrong by my husband - people change their minds and tastes, don't they? - and this might culminating to have the ability to destroy our marriage, which I value among all things.

Also, and it was even more common in the beginning, I used to felt a little "dirty" for having such pleasure with different men, conflicting with the vision I had of marriage in the past, which would be one of monogamy and a more or less conservative routine.

But what hurts me the most and bothers me during these remembrances, occurs when I catch myself reflecting, wishing or even missing other men. Mainly the men who I had sex with for a good while, but then the contact cooled off one day, or they got into exclusive relationships, or even because us (couple) decided to stop seeing each other - on the one hand we don't have the habit of one-night stands, but we also avoid keeping a guy "regular" for excessively long periods of time.

I feel really bad sometimes after noticing that I missed, longed for and still retained sexual desire for another man who is not my husband. I already made the mistake of going after one of these men, hoping to rekindle his attention - and that didn't sit well with my husband, much less with my conscience afterwards.

What helps me to keep my spirits up and overcome these reflections is the realization that at the end of the game my husband and I are enjoying ourselves and having a lot of fun along the entire run, and that I am learning from mistakes and excesses...And I really like to keep on fucking

 

[JessicaJess]

And I really like to keep on fucking

Thank you for a wonderful post. I get the impression that many are very cavalier with the respect they pay to their partner / marriage. It's nice to know I'm not some freak for feeling the way I do.

It's healthy in any aspect of life to be able to talk through things with ones support network. This lifestyle is very hard in that respect because I can't just talk about it to the people I would like to. That's what I'm struggling with right now, whether to come out at all, who to come out to, or just to use a forum like this to do it anonymously.

I mean our first experience was wild, unexpected and totally blew us away to the point we are now very active participants. I would love to share the story with my girlfriends and vicariously re-live the moment and see how they feel but it's such a risk. I'll get there, and if I'm lucky they will surprise me and be supportive.

I just feel like there are two versions of me and to be honest I'm liking the one that is so comfortable in herself and her relationship that expressing desires and acting on them is not taboo. But, and there's always a but, I love the life I had before too, I just need to find how to merge them.

 

[JessicaJess]

Forums and chat like on here are a nice anonymous way for me to unload my lifestyle mental stress , connect with like minded ppl, feel a bit more normal and I’ve always likened it to free therapy

Yes I can see that and agree. I'm just finding that the longer and further we move along our experience in this lifestyle that our normal is more towards the scene than it is away from it. Then I question why can't I be the normal me all the time. I'm tired of living two lives. I'm the good faithful wife to all our family and friends but the horny slut with an understanding husband at all other times. I guess it's true that the two can never merge but a girl can dream can't she?

We had dinner with friends the other night, four couples, and later in the night the guys were outside watching some sport and we were inside with the usual girl talk. As it does the conversation eventually gets around to sex and I am just itching to share. Instead I talk about my kinky night with my hubby having sex in the shower when I'd really like to tell them about having sex in the shower with a couple while my hubby only got to watch. I'm lying to my friends and I wish I didn't have to. I hope that makes sense.

 

[2wheel]

Yes I can see that and agree. I'm just finding that the longer and further we move along our experience in this lifestyle that our normal is more towards the scene than it is away from it. Then I question why can't I be the normal me all the time. I'm tired of living two lives. I'm the good faithful wife to all our family and friends but the horny slut with an understanding husband at all other times. I guess it's true that the two can never merge but a girl can dream can't she?

We had dinner with friends the other night, four couples, and later in the night the guys were outside watching some sport and we were inside with the usual girl talk. As it does the conversation eventually gets around to sex and I am just itching to share. Instead I talk about my kinky night with my hubby having sex in the shower when I'd really like to tell them about having sex in the shower with a couple while my hubby only got to watch. I'm lying to my friends and I wish I didn't have to. I hope that makes sense.

It makes perfect sense and is the sensible thing to do.

You'd be surprised how all those friends that claim to be non-judgemental will suddenly pass judgement.

 

[johndewsnl]

A few months ago we started in this lifestyle and we have an open profile on couple dating apps (3F, Feeld) so we’re not trying to hide it, but also we’re not advertising it around especially not to your ‘conservative families’ but a few of our friends know and they’re accepting and a couple of them want to go out with us on a date. So I say pick one or two friends you’re comfortable with and start opening up to them and see how that goes.
Hope this helps.

i would like to expand your experience, i am regularly in vienna

 

[JessicaJess]

You'd be surprised how all those friends that claim to be non-judgemental will suddenly pass judgement.

I totally get it, I just wish it wasn't that way. Surely we all feel the same? Why would we want to live a secret life? To relate that back to my original post, the sneaking around is what make you feel like you're doing something wrong when you're not.

 

[johndewsnl]

wife responding:

Yes, on several occasions the lifestyle has brought me certain feelings of guilt and doubt. Like any other phenomenon in our lives, even more so a risky one, it would be impossible to bypass those sensations.

Among what I felt most frequently, I can mention the feeling of doing something that could suddenly be seen as purely wrong by my husband - people change their minds and tastes, don't they? - and this might culminating to have the ability to destroy our marriage, which I value among all things.

Also, and it was even more common in the beginning, I used to felt a little "dirty" for having such pleasure with different men, conflicting with the vision I had of marriage in the past, which would be one of monogamy and a more or less conservative routine.

But what hurts me the most and bothers me during these remembrances, occurs when I catch myself reflecting, wishing or even missing other men. Mainly the men who I had sex with for a good while, but then the contact cooled off one day, or they got into exclusive relationships, or even because us (couple) decided to stop seeing each other - on the one hand we don't have the habit of one-night stands, but we also avoid keeping a guy "regular" for excessively long periods of time.

I feel really bad sometimes after noticing that I missed, longed for and still retained sexual desire for another man who is not my husband. I already made the mistake of going after one of these men, hoping to rekindle his attention - and that didn't sit well with my husband, much less with my conscience afterwards.

What helps me to keep my spirits up and overcome these reflections is the realization that at the end of the game my husband and I are enjoying ourselves and having a lot of fun along the entire run, and that I am learning from mistakes and excesses...And I really like to keep on fucking

you are worth more pleasure

 

[johndewsnl]

I totally get it, I just wish it wasn't that way. Surely we all feel the same? Why would we want to live a secret life? To relate that back to my original post, the sneaking around is what make you feel like you're doing something wrong when you're not.

i think you are right. yes, the number is big. no regrets i have

 

[dickhurtz]

during a family lunch, my wife( i wasn't there) told her two sisters & BIL she had a BF. when they asked who, she told him he was a friend of mine. they all were very accepting & non-judgemental. also, some of my friends found out what she was doing. never a problem.

 

[candaulasie]

Hi all, I’ve been lurking here for quite some time and now I guess it’s my time to post.

My husband and I sort of fell into this lifestyle by accident about three years ago but since that time we’ve become very active and enjoyed what it has to offer.

My question is to other wives really, do you ever feel guilty, feel like you’re cheating? Now I know I’m not cheating but still three years later it feels like I’m doing something wrong. I enjoy my time with other people and my husband loves hearing all the details so I know there is nothing to worry about from that regard but there’s just that nagging feeling that won’t go away.

My husband thinks it’s because we are very secretive and wants to out ourselves to the world so we can just be who we are. People will either accept us or won’t but at least we’ll know where we stand. The thought of being able to open up to some girlfriends quite excites me but the risks attached seem huge. Has anyone gone down this path? How did it go? Do other women treat you differently if you’re around their partners once they know thinking you might try something?

Sorry for the barrage of questions. We’re totally engrossed in this but I feel I’m drifting away from family and friends so I can spend another night or weekend with a lover. Do people set limits, like only once a week/month? Have you ever declined invitations from friends because you would rather spend the weekend with a lover? I’ve been finding that when I go out with friends that all I think about is what I could be doing instead.

Thanks.

i think you should not think what others may think, enjoy yourself, coming out is probable liberating but may have implications, so be selective, with friends should be ok, with family and colleagues, keep it secret