Subtle ways to start.

[Goodhubby7]

Has anyone tried or had success by subtly or discreetly bringing up hotwife/cuckolding.
For many having a direct conversation is either difficult or impossible and it would be easier to drop subtle hints and gauge reactions first.
Here are somethings ive done.
1. Told my wife i will do more housework if she agrees to go out more with her girlfriends and have fun and let her hair down. (She was extremely pleased with this but hasnt started going out much yet).
2. Watching a TV show together a part where a frustrated wife got chatting online to another man and ended up having hotel sex with him, i said i sympathised with the wife, understood and didnt blame her. (She never really responded).
3. There is a guy at her gym she has mentioned a few times, who just happened to be at a local.swimming pool with his young daughter once when we took out young boys. I saw them look over at each a few times and when we got close to him i took one of my boys over to the other side leaving her by him. I saw them stary chatting quickly and briefly. (She never.said a word about him. But a few weeks later she pointed out his wife to me putting her down and saying her husband was to good looking to be with her).
4. I printed off an article explaining why having a cuckold relationship was good for a marriage. I folded it and left it in a bedroom draw for her to possibly find in the future. (Its still there but she has never mentioned it).
5. Ive told her she gets eyed up by lots of men (the truth) and i find it a turn on. (No reply).

Although nothimg as yet has given a possitive response, none have either been challenged or dismissed so i see it as slowly planting seeds and she is slowly thinking about some even if shes only doing it subconsciously.
What do you think she may be thinking?.

Also what other subtle and discreet ways have you used or heard about?.

 

[Snoopsissy]

Good post and Can really relate to it - lots of twists and turns - if you read my post - is she cheating ? That’s only part of it - lots have been said and to begin with she acted nonchalant about it - little or no response like yours - so on advice from others on here I left it and as you are thinking just let it go around in her head - made not a it of difference so maybe she’s just hoping it will go away . What made mines so frustrating was she worked in a mostly male environment and I know for a fact she had fucked one of them before I met her and on occasion she mentions guys names at her new work - does it mean anything - probably not but like me as a wannabe cuckold you live in hope . Mines has also said she has had a lot of cock and has only and always gone bare back - again massive turn on for me but yet again will not elaborate on any more - same when she uses her big vibrator sometimes during the day - I will say I’d love to know what or who you are thinking about at the time - again I get a - oh I can’t tell you that with her little laugh she does when she is nervous - and then just when I get ready to give up - you get a little carrot dangled - might be ever so slight but if you have ever been cheated on - you pick up on it instantly - so then your cuck radar is back on - up and down you go constantly - frustrating to say the least so understand your position like myself and many others - I think if she wants to fuck she will , but then again she could go out with her friends , looking sexy , get a bit drunk and do absolutely nothing !!! Maybe try and go to swimming pool again and if he’s there make an excuse and leave and see if they gravitate to each other and spend longer together ?? If you can watch from a distance?? That would be a positive sign I think - good luck

 

[Goodhubby7]

Good post and Can really relate to it - lots of twists and turns - if you read my post - is she cheating ? That’s only part of it - lots have been said and to begin with she acted nonchalant about it - little or no response like yours - so on advice from others on here I left it and as you are thinking just let it go around in her head - made not a it of difference so maybe she’s just hoping it will go away . What made mines so frustrating was she worked in a mostly male environment and I know for a fact she had fucked one of them before I met her and on occasion she mentions guys names at her new work - does it mean anything - probably not but like me as a wannabe cuckold you live in hope . Mines has also said she has had a lot of cock and has only and always gone bare back - again massive turn on for me but yet again will not elaborate on any more - same when she uses her big vibrator sometimes during the day - I will say I’d love to know what or who you are thinking about at the time - again I get a - oh I can’t tell you that with her little laugh she does when she is nervous - and then just when I get ready to give up - you get a little carrot dangled - might be ever so slight but if you have ever been cheated on - you pick up on it instantly - so then your cuck radar is back on - up and down you go constantly - frustrating to say the least so understand your position like myself and many others - I think if she wants to fuck she will , but then again she could go out with her friends , looking sexy , get a bit drunk and do absolutely nothing !!! Maybe try and go to swimming pool again and if he’s there make an excuse and leave and see if they gravitate to each other and spend longer together ?? If you can watch from a distance?? That would be a positive sign I think - good luck

I totaly get you and feel very similar.
One minute i think she has cheated or wants to and the next think theres absolutely no way...then something else happens and im confused again.
Last year i had such a strong hunch or feeling she had cheated but never found proof. In the space of a few months she had started smoking in secret, drastically changed her hair style, casually dropped into conversation she may have to stay away overnight with work (but this was only an hours drive away???) And a few things like that.
6 years ago after our second child she lost her sex drive and admitted that. Sex just went downhill from there to now not having had sex for 2 years and even when i touched her or put my arm around her she moved move away or tell me to get off. (We have a good relationship otherwise except sex). Then last year when i though she might be cheating i thought she must be wanting sex again so i messaged her one day and said something like "typical just as you get your sex drive back and are hitting you prime sexual peak in life i lose my sex drive" (just to gauge a reaponse). As usual no response directly to it. But again no denial.
I am trying my best to get her to go put even getting her sister (best friend) to get her out more and she is trying. Telling her to get dolled up let her hair down, get drunk and do as she pleases and have fun.
I will continue to say things like that and encourage her to go out and try and take her out and try and get her drunk so she lets her guard down and maybe finally says whats on her mind.
I will also wait for the right time and drop hints about hotwife and cuckold type things and see if theres any response.
Thats why im asking for ideas and things to try and see if they get a response from her.

 

[Snoopsissy]

I totaly get you and feel very similar.
One minute i think she has cheated or wants to and the next think theres absolutely no way...then something else happens and im confused again.
Last year i had such a strong hunch or feeling she had cheated but never found proof. In the space of a few months she had started smoking in secret, drastically changed her hair style, casually dropped into conversation she may have to stay away overnight with work (but this was only an hours drive away???) And a few things like that.
6 years ago after our second child she lost her sex drive and admitted that. Sex just went downhill from there to now not having had sex for 2 years and even when i touched her or put my arm around her she moved move away or tell me to get off. (We have a good relationship otherwise except sex). Then last year when i though she might be cheating i thought she must be wanting sex again so i messaged her one day and said something like "typical just as you get your sex drive back and are hitting you prime sexual peak in life i lose my sex drive" (just to gauge a reaponse). As usual no response directly to it. But again no denial.
I am trying my best to get her to go put even getting her sister (best friend) to get her out more and she is trying. Telling her to get dolled up let her hair down, get drunk and do as she pleases and have fun.
I will continue to say things like that and encourage her to go out and try and take her out and try and get her drunk so she lets her guard down and maybe finally says whats on her mind.
I will also wait for the right time and drop hints about hotwife and cuckold type things and see if theres any response.
Thats why im asking for ideas and things to try and see if they get a response from her.

We still do have sex although it’s a sort of mutual thing we do ie usually she plays with her vibrator on her back and I’m lying upside down between her legs getting a great view and she wanks me with her other hand - a real cuckold type position - I sometimes talk dirty to her - tell her she is a dirty cow etc she squirts a lot and usually finishes up sucking me off - takes ages for me to cum so sometimes she gives up - if having normal type sex -she likes it from the back ad she has a slack pussy but usually needs to go to the toilet or the bed is too noisy ( we have her 27 year old contraceptive eh I mean stepdaughter in next room ) so that makes me think she doesn’t want to have sex with me which leaves her to her thoughts whilst vibing . She has in a roundabout way said she has had a lot of cock in the past but now is always against cheating even though she knows of my cuckold desires and would be ok with it - I have mentioned mens names ( work colleagues etc ) whilst she is vibing and she gets amazingly wet and moans away but like your wife never replies to anything , then denies everything about her getting wetter or moaning etc - I have tried lots from mentioning how great she looks , how she should go out more , like yours let her hair down , bought her clothes , shoes , undies - mentioned guys checking her out , weekends away etc etc - nothing whatsoever gets me any encouragement that she is thinking of cuckolding me - then like this morning - she gets a message and instantly swipes it away - she has told me she has cheated on two other partners and knows all the tricks not to get caught out - see what I mean - she was a slut who cheated including her sisters boyfriend but now is a nun who knows all the cheating dodges but has no interest even though she now has a husband who would be ok with it / I just don’t get her one bit - has no obvious sex drive and always me initiates things and then berated for always mentioning it !!!!

 

[Goodhubby7]

We still do have sex although it’s a sort of mutual thing we do ie usually she plays with her vibrator on her back and I’m lying upside down between her legs getting a great view and she wanks me with her other hand - a real cuckold type position - I sometimes talk dirty to her - tell her she is a dirty cow etc she squirts a lot and usually finishes up sucking me off - takes ages for me to cum so sometimes she gives up - if having normal type sex -she likes it from the back ad she has a slack pussy but usually needs to go to the toilet or the bed is too noisy ( we have her 27 year old contraceptive eh I mean stepdaughter in next room ) so that makes me think she doesn’t want to have sex with me which leaves her to her thoughts whilst vibing . She has in a roundabout way said she has had a lot of cock in the past but now is always against cheating even though she knows of my cuckold desires and would be ok with it - I have mentioned mens names ( work colleagues etc ) whilst she is vibing and she gets amazingly wet and moans away but like your wife never replies to anything , then denies everything about her getting wetter or moaning etc - I have tried lots from mentioning how great she looks , how she should go out more , like yours let her hair down , bought her clothes , shoes , undies - mentioned guys checking her out , weekends away etc etc - nothing whatsoever gets me any encouragement that she is thinking of cuckolding me - then like this morning - she gets a message and instantly swipes it away - she has told me she has cheated on two other partners and knows all the tricks not to get caught out - see what I mean - she was a slut who cheated including her sisters boyfriend but now is a nun who knows all the cheating dodges but has no interest even though she now has a husband who would be ok with it / I just don’t get her one bit - has no obvious sex drive and always me initiates things and then berated for always mentioning it !!!!

Hmmm interesting stuff and a lot of similarities. As ive said we havent had sex in about 2 years. Before that most of the time she would wank herself and me till she orgasmed then roll on her side and have me fuck her till she orgasmed again then just go to sleep and let me cum.
She does occassionaly do the secret phone stuff to.
All she has told me about her sexual past is she slept with one guy before me only but as a teen and early 20s she was naughty and im led to believe blow jobs and wanking etc. I got with her when she was about 23. So basically she has only slept with 2 men. I will bring that up at some point as i was quite bad as a younger man and slept with lots of women. I will say i worry that she might feel she is missing out having only slept with 2 men and i can understand that. Because i had lots of partners in the past i wont have a problem with her having some more (i dont need any more) and that can lead into it also being a turn on for me.
Her sister also her best friend cheated on her husband (they worked through that though and stayed together) ironically with someone from a gym.

 

[Snoopsissy]

Hmmm interesting stuff and a lot of similarities. As ive said we havent had sex in about 2 years. Before that most of the time she would wank herself and me till she orgasmed then roll on her side and have me fuck her till she orgasmed again then just go to sleep and let me cum.
She does occassionaly do the secret phone stuff to.
All she has told me about her sexual past is she slept with one guy before me only but as a teen and early 20s she was naughty and im led to believe blow jobs and wanking etc. I got with her when she was about 23. So basically she has only slept with 2 men. I will bring that up at some point as i was quite bad as a younger man and slept with lots of women. I will say i worry that she might feel she is missing out having only slept with 2 men and i can understand that. Because i had lots of partners in the past i wont have a problem with her having some more (i dont need any more) and that can lead into it also being a turn on for me.
Her sister also her best friend cheated on her husband (they worked through that though and stayed together) ironically with someone from a gym.

Indeed very similar , before meeting my wife I too had lots of different partners from dating sites some being really kinky and I possibly was mistaken my wife was the same . She certainly came across as such and I liked dirty / kinky women . She drops certain snippets of info like - she was fucking at least one guy who worked at her previous work and also her boss at another job . Then one night I was riding her missionary and she sort of smirked - she has this laugh when she is nervous - have saw this before when I caught her messaging an ex ? - anyhoo she said she couldn’t feel me in her , I’m not small so that’s was the catalyst for trying to get her a bigger cock up her . She went s as long with it all even down to placing an ad on a swinging site - then accused me of being a forty bastard etc and how dare I think she would be ok with her being a shared wife - she professes to know nothing about it so how did she know it was called wife sharing ??? It’s all these contradictions I don’t understand with her . She said her and her ex used to have sex in every room in the house and outside but will only do it with me in bed when it’s dark and stepdaughter is out . Sometimes I feel I’m being used in the relationship for a roof over her and her daughters head . I’ve recorded her on a mini voice thing which is why I know she was chatting to her ex but the nervous laugh and the swiping messages away when I was sitting next to her started all that off , she says porn ( any kind ) does nothing for her sexually and has never ever played with her self either . One minute she is telling me some snippet about her boss doing her after work the next it’s - I m the lowest if the low for wanting her to go with other men

 

[Snoopsissy]

She has googled cuckold so knows what it’s about to a certain extent , I’ve said would she be up for a bit of flashing at a weekend away somewhere etc just to try and get her to be a bit more sexual etc but nothing - nothing seems to work - I’ve tried to be deaf / dumb / blind hubby to see if that encouraged her to be in communication with her work colleagues etc too / she has told me she has phone numbers in her phone and she could get a fuck the same or next night if she wanted - every positive thing I try to encourage her to be just a bit more sexual gets countered by a negative from her along with usually a dismissive comment about either wife sharing / swinging etc etc

 

[TD12]

Now that you planted the seed you need to do all you can to help in getting the idea to reality. For us this was accomplished in both a direct and casual conversations. For instance, when I first brought up the hotwife idea to her she said no-way "your cock is all I need." No matter how interested I was in seeing her take another man's big cock, ultimately its her decision.

The direct conversations started when I was making love/fucking her, as I was thrusting my cock deep inside her I would start asking her questions like: (not all the time but randomly depending on the situation) "how would you love to feel a bigger cock deep inside you," "I bet you would like to be fucked by a bigger cock," or "I know you can handle a big cock" At first she would respond by telling me "shut-up and keep fucking me" but I did notice she would get extremely wet and have very strong orgasm. Also, eventually her response to these type of questions started to change.

It did take a while but I think she really started to be interested in the hotwife idea. For instance, now while fucking her my question of "I bet you would like to be fucked by a bigger cock," her repose was now "yes I would /sure I just want a big cock" or the question "I know you can handle a big cock" her response now was "yes I can handle a big cock or maybe two." However, after we fucked I would ask her if she was serious and she would say no "I was just saying that so you can fuck me harder" but I knew things were changing.

Now an example of a causal discussion/situation, the situation was we went away for the weekend and stayed a a very nice hotel. On that Saturday night we went out for a light meal and a night on the town. We ended-up at a very nice roof top bar that had a band and the place was packed. At the roof top bar we found little table to place our drinks and sit, but the drink servers were extremely busy so I left my wife at the table and headed to the bar to get our drinks. Since the bar was packed it took me a while to get our drinks, but when I get back to our table there were two young guys (probably late 20's early 30's) talking to my wife (the wife was really looking hot.) My wife introduced me to the guys and we spent part of the night talking and drinking with them. I did notice that they were flirting and checking-out my wife's body during our time with them and she was somewhat flirting back. After a few hours they moved on and we said our goodbyes. We headed back to our hotel and when we got back we started to kissing. I saw this as a great opportunity to casually bring up the fact that these two guys were flirting with her while we began our before fucking making-out session. I said to her something like you know those two guys were really flirting with you and wanted to make love/fuck you either one at a time or together, her response was something like "do you really thinks so." Our kissing started to get more intense and she reached down and started feeling my cock and said your so hard, did those two guys flirting with me get you this excited, I said yes. We ended-up fucking and she had a very intense orgasm.

I didn't mean for that causal situation to be so lengthy, but I wanted to put it in proper context on how the right casual situation can keep the conversation moving forward.

 

[Snoopsissy]

I have tried similar - we were away for the weekend at a hotel and went out for a meal , my wife had on a top , skirt / black hold up stockings and black patent heels - she had a few drinks and noticed a guy checking her legs out several times - I factbin his way to the bar / toilet he deliberately took the longer route around the tables to get a longer look at her - I told her this and she thought I was kidding - she checked herself snd sure enough - his wife / partner was sitting with her back to my wife so didn’t notice a thing - after diner there were comfy seats you sort of sink into which definitely would have caused her skirt to ride up giving him a great flash . I tried saying he keeps looking at your legs - why not give him something to make his night etc but that too was dismissed and I was a pervert for suggesting such a thing but she was clearly excited initially by him looking - every positive demands a negative from her it seems

 

[alfredolandaver]

I am in the same boat as you man, but totally different case. I have asked my girlfriend flat out loud haha. Her answer is no. This is my advice for you, know the guy first. It is imperative that you know who this guy is, his background, mental health, and remember, AIDS are real.

 

[Welder153]

a common mistake , is encouraging her to (cheat) with other men, that builds a big red flag to her , many wives have been cheated on , or have cheated on former husbands/boyfriends and always felt guilt after doing so , it its agreed on, no one is cheating, always make it about her pleasure , with her knowing you wont regret her doing it after ,

 

[Snoopsissy]

Well my wife seems to make a point of saying , this guy asked for her no today etc as if to get a reaction from me - if I give a positive reaction it has led in the past to words just like the weekend away scenario couple of posts above , so I usually give a neutral response now which gets us both nowhere - so my point is - why mention someone else has asked for her no in the first place ?? - I don’t get it , she knows I have no issues sharing her and know she was a bit of a slut before I met her - how do I progress with that lot ? As stated before every positive is countered by a negative from her

 

[Snoopsissy]

As an example - on Tuesday whilst having dinner my wife said - there was a guy taking scaffolding down near her work , they got chatting and he was ex army - she said he was about 50 so younger and kept himself in shape which he made a point of telling her too ? ( vain 😀) said he asked for her phone no . I said oh really and changed the subject . If I had said that’s good did you give him it ? I would have been the dirty bastard etc again , so why tell me in the first place ? . There’s a ex workmate that phoned her on and off and he’s expressed an interest in a 3 some if she ever wants it - so obviously sex is on the agenda with them both somewhere along the conversations as she always laughs away when chatting with him which to me is usually a sign of a dirty / sexy comment / flirting so I just don’t get her one fucking bit - I’ve let her take the initiative and lead in our sex life but again that leads no where - I have always had sort of kinky partners and she has it seems had lots of partners but all vanilla boring fuckers - she said not one had asked her about wearing heels and stockings etc - on the surface that seems but dig deeper and you find out one guy was fucking her arse and she fucked her sisters boyfriend and her boss etc - just can’t work her out and that’s taken me 5 years to find that lot out

 

[Goodhubby7]

As an example - on Tuesday whilst having dinner my wife said - there was a guy taking scaffolding down near her work , they got chatting and he was ex army - she said he was about 50 so younger and kept himself in shape which he made a point of telling her too ? ( vain 😀) said he asked for her phone no . I said oh really and changed the subject . If I had said that’s good did you give him it ? I would have been the dirty bastard etc again , so why tell me in the first place ? . There’s a ex workmate that phoned her on and off and he’s expressed an interest in a 3 some if she ever wants it - so obviously sex is on the agenda with them both somewhere along the conversations as she always laughs away when chatting with him which to me is usually a sign of a dirty / sexy comment / flirting so I just don’t get her one fucking bit - I’ve let her take the initiative and lead in our sex life but again that leads no where - I have always had sort of kinky partners and she has it seems had lots of partners but all vanilla boring fuckers - she said not one had asked her about wearing heels and stockings etc - on the surface that seems but dig deeper and you find out one guy was fucking her arse and she fucked her sisters boyfriend and her boss etc - just can’t work her out and that’s taken me 5 years to find that lot out

I have a similar sort of thing with my wife just perhaps more discreet or played down.
She quite often mentions guys talking to her in the gym. She even sometimes said i think he was chatting me up etc. But then she is always quick to add something like "but hes old" "or" hes a bit weird" "or he lo es himself".
To me it sounds like she cant help telling about another guy, hes on her mi d and she has been thinking about him and almost blurted it out to me. Then when she realises she quickly adds something negative. Almost like "theres a guy i like at the gym..... but nothing happened or nothing will happen".
Also like you if i day anything positive or encouraging its met with a negative from her and she gets defensive.

 

[Snoopsissy]

Yes like you I find it all a bit of a mind fuck - she knows about my desire to share her and says things like - you like me being a cow , but if I was to reinforce that with a comment I would be berated . Find it hard to understand where she is coming from and my position in it really - she knows I would have no issue with it and has been a slut in her past and now has a husband who would like her to be so again and I know she would be on it again once she got a taste for cock again so why the pretence of being insulted by the mere mention of it but is happy to inform me about other guys hitting on her ????

 

[dazed88]

We still do have sex although it’s a sort of mutual thing we do ie usually she plays with her vibrator on her back and I’m lying upside down between her legs getting a great view and she wanks me with her other hand - a real cuckold type position - I sometimes talk dirty to her - tell her she is a dirty cow etc she squirts a lot and usually finishes up sucking me off - takes ages for me to cum so sometimes she gives up - if having normal type sex -she likes it from the back ad she has a slack pussy but usually needs to go to the toilet or the bed is too noisy ( we have her 27 year old contraceptive eh I mean stepdaughter in next room ) so that makes me think she doesn’t want to have sex with me which leaves her to her thoughts whilst vibing . She has in a roundabout way said she has had a lot of cock in the past but now is always against cheating even though she knows of my cuckold desires and would be ok with it - I have mentioned mens names ( work colleagues etc ) whilst she is vibing and she gets amazingly wet and moans away but like your wife never replies to anything , then denies everything about her getting wetter or moaning etc - I have tried lots from mentioning how great she looks , how she should go out more , like yours let her hair down , bought her clothes , shoes , undies - mentioned guys checking her out , weekends away etc etc - nothing whatsoever gets me any encouragement that she is thinking of cuckolding me - then like this morning - she gets a message and instantly swipes it away - she has told me she has cheated on two other partners and knows all the tricks not to get caught out - see what I mean - she was a slut who cheated including her sisters boyfriend but now is a nun who knows all the cheating dodges but has no interest even though she now has a husband who would be ok with it / I just don’t get her one bit - has no obvious sex drive and always me initiates things and then berated for always mentioning it !!!!

ever travel? She could be the type who doesn't bother responding to your suggestions. She does it whenever she feels like it.
She knows you approve of her doing what she knows you like. But just to be safe, let's not divulge it to you.
is she historically? Keeps her info and life details to herself? You have all the details. just look deep into her behavior.

 

[Snoopsissy]

Yes we sometimes travel but always together ( motorcycle) . No I don’t think that’s the case , she seems on the surface to be totally against it but then displays just a glimpse of doing things behind my back . Sometimes she mentions about other guys hitting on her usually I think to gauge my reaction and yes she absolutely keeps her life details and info to herself - just can’t work her out really

 

[Snoopsissy]

Seemingly there’s a guy who I overheard a conversation about between my wife and 27 year old stepdaughter that has said he’d like to see my wife and my stepdaughter thinks ‘ is handsome ‘ . My wife has mentioned him in and off as he works in same building . She let slip he is recently separated from his wife but after hearing the aforementioned chat about him , maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong place - she has mentioned someone else who has her number but beginning to think he is a smokescreen for this other guy so still playing deaf / dumb / blind hubby and as suggested really starting to study her behaviour again - in my own experience recently separated women can’t wait to open there legs and guys just want to fuck anything that moves - mmmm I wonder 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

 

[Snoopsissy]

And I forgot to mention - the stepdaughter phoned my wife and- she couldn’t talk to her because I was due home at any minute so somethings fucking going on eh ??!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mxfunguy]

I’ve been subtle trying to talk my wife into it, but it’s not going very good. She said she was going to think about. Then she got mad and at me for even suggesting it. How dare I even suggest anything like that she said, I told her it was because I want her to experience pleasure and it was something I’d love to see as well. She told me I’m enough and I just told her I was just trying to help her out, she said if I wanted more dick or anybody else I would just go do it I don’t need your help getting more. She then later said it’s not a point her life she wants to try or do at the moment, So yea don’t think it’s going to happen for us