The Good, the Bad and the Ugly? Well, maybe just the bad and ugly...

[tarnishedsoul]

Hi,

I'm new to these forums, but I wanted to get a feel for people's experiences that were NOT good. My wife and I have discussed her having sex with other men, before, and the fantasy plays out during sex for us and we both get excited. But we have some reservations - she probably has more than I do - and we can't help but think that some situations are not good.

Would anyone care to share some of the problems they had with this lifestyle? Did it ruin relationships? Did you overcome the problems and figure out ways to handle situations?

Just curious.

Thank you!

 

[CoupleRendevous]

So many but most will be learned by trial and error unfortunately. Everyone is different so what is a fail for some is succes to another. I can add generically that she will be the one who puts herself out there mostly so it's important that you listen to her and reassure those issues are very valid, important and act according to them.

Also it is very common for guys to want to meet and hook up then when the time comes they become no shows. You will hear people getting flustered with a high percentage of that scenario to the point they say the lifestyle isn't worth the trouble. We found on the social media sites the quick pickup and meet style has a high percentage of no shows. We figure nerves being with a married couple or that they are cheating and afraid of getting caught. My wife felt let down so be prepared for that to minimize her bruised feelings.

When my wife spends time (weeks) getting to know a guy first through a site then text they actually show up. Some get frustrated so they quietly go away while others get upset that she doesn't bed hop. This is a way we weed out to find good character fit for us but again she likes to have regulars too.

Not sure if we were younger if we could be this happy in the lifestyle or our marriage survive it. Because we had children parents and loved one pass away we have had numerous ups and downs we have become truly as one. I have so little worries of losing my wife that we have pushed and explored boundaries in a way we would have never thought about if we were younger. So take stock on your marriage and what boundaries are best for you at this time.

 

[tarnishedsoul]

So many ... ...what boundaries are best for you at this time.

Thanks so much for the advice. I think, for my wife there are a few issues about her own self-image - i.e. "no guys will like me, only you do". That kind of thing. Plus, being parents and seeing every horror story on a made for television show, we kinda worry about the safety of everything, as well, ya know? There are other issues too, but I'm pretty patient and I think, if she ever decides she wants to go through with it, they'll have to be addressed, but I kinda like knowing what the fails are for other people to sort of assess where we might be.

Thanks so much for the response.

 

[CoupleRendevous]

Your story is a very comon one which plays out daily on these types of sites and typical of the wife feeling similar to yours. With that said it's not common to her so don't get caught up as saying what I said to her in that way, like its no big deal. Just know you are going through the staring stages of a possible hot wife lifestyle. You will be surprised to know almost everyone has children to work around and the lifestyle respects that. Here is one of our fails at the time, text was and is still a big communicator. My wife had several guys she would text back and forth, well one hot shot liked to get drunk then call very late at night and our daughter brought the phone up worried someone was in trouble because he kept calling over and over. We since use KIK as no phone number is used or given that way. Another tip don't use the same name for KIK as you do in dating sites because the free loaders and members will take it upon themselves to try to connect through that outlet before going through the site.

Something that worked for us was joining a local swingers site and going to a large swingers club holiday type party (lual, Halloween, xmas, and New Years). Our favorite is weekend hotel takeover parties. There everyone is in the lifestyle at the hotel so people are free to be themselves but make no mistake you are not obligated to participate and many do not. We did this as a way to introduce ourselves to the lifestyle even though we didn't hook up but we did talk, learn, watch some stuff in a wonderful exotic atmosphere. Not going to lie the sex when we went back to our room was crazy intense.

 

[2B13RFUN]

/\ Read & re-read the paragraphs
^ above. You're not going to get a ^ more pithy and to the point
^ narrative then what was written
^ above.
Good luck to you.

 

[tarnishedsoul]

Your story is a very comon one which plays out daily on these types of sites and typical of the wife feeling similar to yours. With that said it's not common to her so don't get caught up as saying what I said to her in that way, like its no big deal. Just know you are going through the staring stages of a possible hot wife lifestyle. You will be surprised to know almost everyone has children to work around and the lifestyle respects that. Here is one of our fails at the time, text was and is still a big communicator. My wife had several guys she would text back and forth, well one hot shot liked to get drunk then call very late at night and our daughter brought the phone up worried someone was in trouble because he kept calling over and over. We since use KIK as no phone number is used or given that way. Another tip don't use the same name for KIK as you do in dating sites because the free loaders and members will take it upon themselves to try to connect through that outlet before going through the site.

Something that worked for us was joining a local swingers site and going to a large swingers club holiday type party (lual, Halloween, xmas, and New Years). Our favorite is weekend hotel takeover parties. There everyone is in the lifestyle at the hotel so people are free to be themselves but make no mistake you are not obligated to participate and many do not. We did this as a way to introduce ourselves to the lifestyle even though we didn't hook up but we did talk, learn, watch some stuff in a wonderful exotic atmosphere. Not going to lie the sex when we went back to our room was crazy intense.

It's been a while since I've been here, but I am glad I saw this. You have some great advice that I'm hoping to put into play at some point.

 

[CoupleRendevous]

Good to see you haven’t given up and checking in.

 

[tarnishedsoul]

Good to see you haven’t given up and checking in.

Yes, well, there have been some slight interests again on my wife's part...I don't think she's ready to make the decision, but at least she has become much more comfortable with my fantasies - she'll even engage in the fantasies with me now.