3 years of slowly introducing my wife to this fantasy has brought us to this morning of Jan 23rd. I appreciate the responses to my previous post and I can’t wait to share details of my first time.
As mentioned in my previous post, I wanted to ease into this and potentially be present the first few times , also my wife told me she would feel most comfortable if it was with a stranger — then it all changed!!!
As we were finally getting comfortable with the idea, my wife threw a curveball and mentioned she wanted to try to make a move on her coworker. Then after we agreed today was the day, she hit me with the second curveball which was , she didn’t want to record anything or take pics - she just wanted to fill me in afterwards- this hit me like a sledgehammer.
The past 3 days I have felt absolutely sick to my stomach, that same sick feeling with the shakes that I felt as a teen when I found out I got cheated on. But , I’m the one who created this whole fantasy and encouraged her to do it.
Now, I fully expected to eventually let her go off and do her thing without any videos or myself being present , but I didn’t expect to hit “expert level” the first try. From the very first moment , I highlighted the importance of communication during this whole process. Therefore I was honest in telling her I felt blindsided by these last minute changes and literally felt sick- BUT I didn’t think it was fair to ask her to “abort mission” lol. I know that once Pandora’s box is opened - it cannot be closed. So if I tell her I’ve changed my mind at this stage , she will just do it and leave me out of it, OR even if she truly doesn’t act on it- I will probably start making up scenarios in my head like I did when I was a teen.
I spoke with her last night and asked her to please try to include me in this by at least taking some pics of her outfit/underwear and texting me throughout the day/night. I’m literally shaking as I write this but as I mentioned to her, although I feel sick- I am actually still turned on by the situation.
I guess we’ll know in the next few hrs whether or not I completely fooled myself into thinking I was into this or maybe I’m about to embark on the most incredible experience of my life.
If anyone has any similar experience or thoughts, please share.
As mentioned in my previous post, I wanted to ease into this and potentially be present the first few times , also my wife told me she would feel most comfortable if it was with a stranger — then it all changed!!!
As we were finally getting comfortable with the idea, my wife threw a curveball and mentioned she wanted to try to make a move on her coworker. Then after we agreed today was the day, she hit me with the second curveball which was , she didn’t want to record anything or take pics - she just wanted to fill me in afterwards- this hit me like a sledgehammer.
The past 3 days I have felt absolutely sick to my stomach, that same sick feeling with the shakes that I felt as a teen when I found out I got cheated on. But , I’m the one who created this whole fantasy and encouraged her to do it.
Now, I fully expected to eventually let her go off and do her thing without any videos or myself being present , but I didn’t expect to hit “expert level” the first try. From the very first moment , I highlighted the importance of communication during this whole process. Therefore I was honest in telling her I felt blindsided by these last minute changes and literally felt sick- BUT I didn’t think it was fair to ask her to “abort mission” lol. I know that once Pandora’s box is opened - it cannot be closed. So if I tell her I’ve changed my mind at this stage , she will just do it and leave me out of it, OR even if she truly doesn’t act on it- I will probably start making up scenarios in my head like I did when I was a teen.
I spoke with her last night and asked her to please try to include me in this by at least taking some pics of her outfit/underwear and texting me throughout the day/night. I’m literally shaking as I write this but as I mentioned to her, although I feel sick- I am actually still turned on by the situation.
I guess we’ll know in the next few hrs whether or not I completely fooled myself into thinking I was into this or maybe I’m about to embark on the most incredible experience of my life.
If anyone has any similar experience or thoughts, please share.