Unexpected first experience. So many emotions.

[Accidental Cuck]

Hey

I've had a long time fantasy to be cuckolded or have a hotwife but it was never something I thought I would actually do. We spoke often about it. My girlfriend decided that we should do this, didn't tell me though, and so it happened about a month ago now on our dirty weekend away for our 5th anniversary.

I'm struggling emotionally dealing with this. I'm so excited and grateful that it happened but I also feel like I had no say. I feel like I can't wait to see my girlfriend with someone else again but I'm also horrified that she did this. I know it makes no sense. I can't make sense of it.

So quickly. She organised a weekend away for our Anniversary. The first afternoon we were in bed fooling around and she told me to wait a few minutes that she had a surprise. She came back in the room in awesome lingerie and then said that's not all and bought a guy in. It was someone from her work. She told me that if I said no, or stop or anything like that I couldn't watch and then she dropped to her knees. I got up and stood next to her but she refused to touch me and told me to stay in a corner and that I wasn't allowed to touch myself. That was the entire three days. I had to remain clothed, they stayed naked. I cooked, they fucked. I cleaned, they fucked. I watched TV, they fucked. I had to ...... on the floor, they fucked in the bed. I had to drive him home at the end of the weekend, they fucked in the back seat. Then she went in and stayed the night with him and told me I had to pick her up in the morning. When I got there she facetimed me and I watched them fuck again before she came out.

Happy Anniversary to me! I love her so much that she did this for me but I also hate her so much that she did this to me. I really can't sort these emotions out.

To any guys who are experienced in this, did you start this way with your feelings? Even to any women, did you have mixed emotions? My girlfriend says she had the best time ever and wants to continue. I'm not so sure. I mean I really REALLY want to, thinking about it is such a turn on but my stupid brain is so conflicted. I think it's just societal norms getting in the way hence why I've sought out likeminded people.

So over to you all. Any comments, suggestions or otherwise will be appreciated.

 

[flipside]

Hey A.C.
First off there is a difference between a Sissy, a Cuckold, and a Stag, what you just experienced was being a Sissy and I don't envy you (to each there own but...) with out getting into how you compare to the other man in ability and junk size, she has demeaned you and after five years of relationship to make you ...... on the floor or other then say happy anniversary she no longer looks at you as #1, you need to have a hard transparent conversation with her about respect, a Cuckold wife can have open relationship but nurture the primary relationship, there is a difference between love and sex. Then you have a Stag that is an Alpha male, that leads the relationship (you can be both a Stag and a Cuckold when you lead and included and celebrate together her fun in solo ville). You need to root out her true motive but at this point I would say if this continues you will never be her equal or love partner forward. There is a lot of questions I have for you if you would like to DM me but look at the other posts I have done and you will get a lot of good insights that you need. Just for a moment reverse the story and and you do that to her, think of the mind set needed to do that... the LifeStyle is to be a win / win for both parties, and it should make the relationship stronger not weaker. If you have cracks in the relationship and you add the LifeStyle it will magnify cracks.. what you don't want is a narcissistic woman ! !

 

[Accidental Cuck]

You need to root out her true motive

I think this is it.
I loved what happened, I truly did... IF she was doing it for me as she claims.
If there was an ulterior motive then as you suggest the entire dynamic changes.
We are open and talking about it. She has defaulted to me about whether we continue or not. She claims she did it entirely for me and she's never wavered from that.

 

[Wantsomefunto]

Enjoy it and have her do it again soon