What do you think the biggest barrier is?

[Demented_Donny]

When you got into this lifestyle what was the biggest barrier you had to overcome before your wife said yes to being a hotwife?

For me it was getting her to not feel like she was betraying me, and feeling guilty. She had a hard time with being able to have sex with someone else if i wasn't also. It didn't seem fair to her.

What were your barriers? and how did you defeat them?

 

[KristieKream]

I think you hit the nail on the head on this one. Of course, one barrier is people finding out. But that can be remedied by traveling. So that's certainly not the biggest barrier.

To emphasize your point, I saw something that really hit home. I was watching a porn video, with a pro porn BBC and a semi-pro/amateur wife. I never knew that she was semi-pro, until a guy on the site told me she was. So here's this woman who's been making porn videos for years, and she had her hubby in the video. (I'm thinking she's been at this game for easily 10 years)

I was fascinated at how she kept seeking her husband's approval during all of this. Her husband was a rock star, and it's by far the hottest hotwife video I've ever seen. It's easy to tell when something is scripted, but I could tell that is was real.

I won't get graphic, but when her husband asked her if she liked what Mr. X was doing to her, her answer was, "Yes, but so do you, right? Don't you like it?"

And of course hubby said, "Hell, yes." Then she smiled and continued.

And this ties into my theory that I've shared with tons of frustrated husbands...

A wife is much more likely to cheat, than do this with their husband's blessing. Both of these things go against societal rules, but I guess cheating is the lesser of two evils.

 

[Demented_Donny]

I think you hit the nail on the head on this one. Of course, one barrier is people finding out. But that can be remedied by traveling. So that's certainly not the biggest barrier.

To emphasize your point, I saw something that really hit home. I was watching a porn video, with a pro porn BBC and a semi-pro/amateur wife. I never knew that she was semi-pro, until a guy on the site told me she was. So here's this woman who's been making porn videos for years, and she had her hubby in the video. (I'm thinking she's been at this game for easily 10 years)

I was fascinated at how she kept seeking her husband's approval during all of this. Her husband was a rock star, and it's by far the hottest hotwife video I've ever seen. It's easy to tell when something is scripted, but I could tell that is was real.

I won't get graphic, but when her husband asked her if she liked what Mr. X was doing to her, her answer was, "Yes, but so do you, right? Don't you like it?"

And of course hubby said, "Hell, yes." Then she smiled and continued.

And this ties into my theory that I've shared with tons of frustrated husbands...

A wife is much more likely to cheat, than do this with their husband's blessing. Both of these things go against societal rules, but I guess cheating is the lesser of two evils.

View attachment 630959

I think cheating is more of an escape from something though than just a sexual thing. Sometimes people will just have sex with someone, but more often than not there is some emotional attachment involved. It may be easier, but it does more damage.

 

[verkitwme]

I think most women when presented with the option of being shared are leery as they think as I did that hubby wants some pussy on the side as well. My husband explained over and over again that was not the case (and turned out to be true). He just wanted to watch me be fully satified by a man with a large cock.
In our case it changed our lives I was instantly addicted to my bulls big thick nine incher (as he predicted I would be).

 

[anthonytimmermans]

I think you hit the nail on the head on this one. Of course, one barrier is people finding out. But that can be remedied by traveling. So that's certainly not the biggest barrier.

To emphasize your point, I saw something that really hit home. I was watching a porn video, with a pro porn BBC and a semi-pro/amateur wife. I never knew that she was semi-pro, until a guy on the site told me she was. So here's this woman who's been making porn videos for years, and she had her hubby in the video. (I'm thinking she's been at this game for easily 10 years)

I was fascinated at how she kept seeking her husband's approval during all of this. Her husband was a rock star, and it's by far the hottest hotwife video I've ever seen. It's easy to tell when something is scripted, but I could tell that is was real.

I won't get graphic, but when her husband asked her if she liked what Mr. X was doing to her, her answer was, "Yes, but so do you, right? Don't you like it?"

And of course hubby said, "Hell, yes." Then she smiled and continued.

And this ties into my theory that I've shared with tons of frustrated husbands...

A wife is much more likely to cheat, than do this with their husband's blessing. Both of these things go against societal rules, but I guess cheating is the lesser of two evils.

I'm interested in what video you're referring too?

 

[Kogjin]

Making the other person to understand, its something that I get pleasure from too and not that I'm testing their loyalty.
Social stigma as this still is quite a taboo style, thought recent years things are changing, which is good.

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

…and not that I'm testing their loyalty.
Social stigma as this still is quite a taboo style…

Yes to both of these.

I think these two things are definitely show stoppers for my wife. The social stigma if something were to leak out about these activities would be devastating to her reputation. A question of my testing her loyalty is probably in the back of her mind. But, more importantly the concern this could destroy our marriage would be even greater.

Once you go down this road you can’t unfuck someone. I am sure she thinks I could have serious difficulty accepting the consequences. Which, sort of loops back to the testing of loyalty. Think on that. She has to overcome her fears of you testing her loyalty which she could fail before she is shared as well as my failing loyalty to her after she is shared because I wasn’t able to handle it.

 

[Kogjin]

Exactly this. And it is up to the man, if he is the one that initiates this, to build trust and make sure there is understanding, oh and most importantly, do not change attitude after the woman does it.
Worst thing one can do, is make his woman get into this and then blame her ot have a change of heart.

 

[Lynnandhubby]

Exactly this. And it is up to the man, if he is the one that initiates this, to build trust and make sure there is understanding, oh and most importantly, do not change attitude after the woman does it.
Worst thing one can do, is make his woman get into this and then blame her ot have a change of heart.

Spot on. Too many guys push their wives into this and then when they actually enjoy the experience the husband gets cold feet and expects them to stop. You can't have it both ways. If you can't accept the consequences don't start in the first place x

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

Spot on. Too many guys push their wives into this and then when they actually enjoy the experience the husband gets cold feet and expects them to stop. You can't have it both ways. If you can't accept the consequences don't start in the first place x

The whole point of me pursuing this for my wife is ultimately for her happiness and sexual fulfillment. If I truly want this for her, my needs and feeling become secondary. That said, I do want her including me in pursuit of this or otherwise I would feel excluded and cheated on.

 

[CuckmeCleveland]

I absolutely love the idea of an high functioning, supportive community that is populated by hot wives, their cuckolds and studs who discuss these things. I love the idea of such people working together to develop real and practical answers to questions and issues.

I love the idea of such a community being there to chip at and to break down social prejudices, and to be there to support wives considering this change, and their husbands!

I love the idea of online resources based on a self-correcting process. I love the idea of many people with varied perspectives and experiences working and planning together the means of facilitating this most natural and beautiful process.

I love the idea of more and more good, well churched and religious wife’s being seduced NOT just by a man, but to become herself an apostle to her wifely friends at church!

Am I the only one whose thick blood gets moving at this?

 

[KristieKream]

I'm interested in what video you're referring too?

PM me, and I'll attempt to find it. It seriously is the best I've ever seen.

 

[KristieKream]

I think cheating is more of an escape from something though than just a sexual thing. Sometimes people will just have sex with someone, but more often than not there is some emotional attachment involved. It may be easier, but it does more damage.

Slice and dice it all you want, but cheating is way more prevalent than accepting permission. To me, that's the biggest barrier. Guilt.

 

[franklyn]

We haven’t broken through those barriers yet. My wife’s first question was am I not satisfied with her anymore, and nothing could be further from the truth. I have been slowed by some health issues and think she deserves to try someone who can make her feel really fulfilled. She is hung up on the fact that it’s cheating and thinks all though I say it’s what I want I’ll end up regretting it and our marriage will suffer. I am happy that as my health issues are improving our sex life is also but I’d still like her to give it a shot. In the end it has to be her decision though and I will love and support her either way.

 

[Daddyballs]

When you got into this lifestyle what was the biggest barrier you had to overcome before your wife said yes to being a hotwife?

For me it was getting her to not feel like she was betraying me, and feeling guilty. She had a hard time with being able to have sex with someone else if i wasn't also. It didn't seem fair to her.

What were your barriers? and how did you defeat them?

Trying to be very discreet

 

[franklyn]

Spot on. Too many guys push their wives into this and then when they actually enjoy the experience the husband gets cold feet and expects them to stop. You can't have it both ways. If you can't accept the consequences don't start in the first place x

Great comment and gives husbands thinking they want this something to think about

 

[Lynnandhubby]

Great comment and gives husbands thinking they want this something to think about

Thanks xx

 

[The Arranger]

When you got into this lifestyle what was the biggest barrier you had to overcome before your wife said yes to being a hotwife?

For me it was getting her to not feel like she was betraying me, and feeling guilty. She had a hard time with being able to have sex with someone else if i wasn't also. It didn't seem fair to her.

What were your barriers? and how did you defeat them?

Fear. Is short fear.

 

[Robert Smith]

After about a year of dating Elaine I decided to broach the idea of sharing her. Started with sex talk in the bedroom. While having sex she acted willing saying it might be fun, but nothing ever actually happened. I knew for our relationship to go further I was going to have to press the issue to see if she ! was all talk and no action. I kept telling her to pick out some guy she would like to fuck. I didn't care if it was old lover or friend. She said she could not approach someone about having sex with them if she really loved me.

I continued to ask her to to have sex with me and another man. I told her she could back outat any time if she changed her mind. She told me to find someone but he had to be from out of town. When I told Elaine I had found someone she started getting nervous about how to actually do this as she had never actually screwed more that one man at the same time. I suggested her meeting him at the door in lingerie, but that was way to aggressive for her. Since she had never met him we agreed we would invite him over for drinks and munchies. If she liked him and was willing to try she would invite him to the bedroom. She wanted to start alone with him and see how things went. I told her after some kissing and fondling she should know if it was going to work. If she wanted to go through with complete sex she would signal or invite me in the bedroom.

Elaine wore garters and hose, no panties, under a front button summer dress. Everybody seemed to get along when he arrived. Elaine seemed hesitant to ask him to the bedroom. Eric excused himself to use the bathroom and I checked with her to see if she was still up for it and she said yes but just did not know how to bring up the subject. When he came back I simply asked him if he would like to take my lovely girl to bed. He said sure and off they went leaving me nervous and hoping for the best. They left the door partially open and I could hear idle chit chat for a couple of minutes, then the talking stopped. After several more minutes I slowly opened the door to see Elaine on her back and Eric's head buried under her dress. She smiled and waved me in and the party started.

 

[Kevboy1690]

I'm my case it was a trust issue.
I've never cheated on my wife but she had cheated on me. That's actually the reason I think I'm into this lifestyle in the first place, so technically it's her fault lol
Anyway when I mentioned this to my wife she was definitely interested but I wasn't sure if it was just a fantasy she wanted to keep as she had said to me in the past some fantasies are better left exactly that "a fantasy" the more we spoke about it I realised she thought I wanted her to sleep with a guy so I could use it against her and sleep with a women.
Even after telling her I have no desire to sleep with a woman she didn't believe me. It took her a long time to trust me, I think that was down to her past and not necessarily mine.
Communication complete Honesty and trust is what you need to establish first before you even consider making any fantasy a reality!