Wife is unsure

[Biguy916]

My wife (Pepper) and I (Salt) joined this site as a couple, mostly because I asked her to. I hope it is also so she could learn more about the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle, which she finds "weird."

I have told her that it's more common than she thinks. Some people are really open with it while others not so much. Some people hide it from their partners while others are open about it.

Can anyone give advice/experiences that they've had?

It is very common and a lot of fun and good memories

 

[Redman69]

So, you lead off with her being your ex wife. Is this what caused your relationship to end?

Absolutely, she played with someone and eventually had feelings. The rest was history but there some lessons learned from that experience.

 

[adrianaYalbert]

Absolutely, she played with someone and eventually had feelings. The rest was history but there some lessons learned from that experience.

It happened to my wife twice in all these years that she fell in love with her lover. Lets be honest, this risk is always given and actually the nature of things when it comes to regular, very good sex with him. If your wife has sex with her lover without condoms, these moments become even more intimate for her and that the deep sympathy in the beginning turnes into something serious.
Urging her to end the relationship would only lead to the absolute opposite and she will do it behind your back.
But giving her the space to live out freely her feelings for him will be definitely recognized by her and she will talk to you how she feels about him and what she likes most on him.
You can also easily counteract on this, for example if her lover forgets to send her flowers on Mother's Day: "He should have thought of it, don't you think?"
There will always be situations like this where you can stick needles, to slowly bring her back down and out of her pink clouds.
But also make sure that she doesn't exclude you completely; there are adult games that can be played with three participants.

 

[SaltnPepper]

Well when I first started bringing it up with my wife she was like no way never but as time went on and I kept bringing it up she went from no, to I'm crazy, to I must want to sleep with someone else ,to I wouldn't be able to handle it, to starting to fantasize about it ,to talking about it, then picking guys she wouldn't mind having join us, then role playing about it with toys , then I snuck a friend In our bedroom one nite and she was good with it all this took was a 1yr period

I have to say that you definitely went through some steps to get to where you are at. I've been through a couple of them, although maybe not in the same order and definitely not with the same progress. I'm glad that she came around and I take it you guys are continuing in the lifestyle?

~Salt

 

[SaltnPepper]

I think most wives have the thought how can u love me if u want me to let other guys fuck me I explained it would make me very proud of her and I'd love her even more

That is what my wife believes and I have attempted to help her understand that I do love her even though I want this kind of fantasy to become a reality. She is having a hard time understanding why I would want to watch another man give it to her.

~Salt

 

[SaltnPepper]

I think it's a usual suspicion for the wife to think your just manipulating a way to sleep with another woman,my wife was convinced that's what I was up to.
Your going to have to explain that's not the case,explain how much it turns you on to think of her with another man , making her even more sexy in your eyes.

When you've put those fears of hers to bed, you will then have her wondering if this is all a plan to get some cock lol (assuming you invite another man at some point).

It's frustrating , but very much worth pursuing ,my advice is be open , honest and direct from the start,let her see the real you.

She definitely thought that I was looking to be with another woman because she straight up asked if that was what I was looking for. I told her it wasn't and that I just want to see her with another man, and an MFM. I have explained to her how much it would turn me on to see her with another man.

We have been open honest and direct from the start, as you suggested. I didn't just come out after we were married, these are things that she knew about me before we got married a little over 6 years ago. She is almost always open to talk about it and we do probably on a monthly basis at some point or another or maybe every other month but it does come up throughout the year.

~Salt

 

[SaltnPepper]

My ex and I traveled down this road many years ago. It was definately a world wind of fun until she caught feelings for one of the guys she was playing with at the time. It went downhill rapidly at that point. For this to work, your marriage has to be rock solid. Communication between you two has to be spot on target or things could start to change. Its also important that you both have complete trust in each other. Jealousy may rear its heads a bit but if you both have complete trust then jealousy will becomes short lived and pass quickly.
Its a great ride and a whole lot of fun as long as it doesnt cause strife in your marriage. Be prepared for the wife to go crazy with a ton of lust after her first time. This is common and where communication and trust become key.

I appreciate you sharing your experience and giving solid advice. I agree trust has to be there. I am not a jealous type but I understand what you say about it maybe ruin its head a bit but if we have complete trust and jealousy becomes short lived and passes quickly. Very good advice from someone who obviously knows first hand.

~Salt

 

[SaltnPepper]

I tend to be reserved and don't actively seek out many social activities that others often pursue.
Interestingly, long before I was aware of this lifestyle, I found myself engaging in activities with couples (they didn't knew about this lifestyle as well).

Despite my limited social interactions, it seems this lifestyle might be more common than we realize, as even in my more introverted approach, married women occasionally reach out to me.

Sure, it's not an everyday occurrence, but I've even had husbands in not so open relationships express interest in me be with their hotwives.

I explained to my wife as well that this is something that is a lot more common than many people realize. I also explain that this is just one type of open marriage whereas there are several other types. Of course, doing a study would be a little difficult because some people are not open to sharing their experiences or fantasies because of what is and is not considered normal in society.

I'm hoping that she comes on here and reads and understands that it is more common than what she and many others think.

~Salt

 

[SaltnPepper]

Your marriage should be solid as a rock otherwise leave it alone.

Whatever you want to do in this direction, decide together.
Adapt your steps so that she never feels insecure or in the "wrong place". Always explain yourself well to her.
If it is a first time, her chosen one should know exactly that it is the first time for your wife.
He should then gently guide her; an extensive erotic massage for your wife would be an idea. Gives her the chance to get use to his touch, feeling his balls sliding over her back when he massages her shoulders...This first time will be her measure for the future. Only if she deeply enjoyed it she will be agreeing for more.
It may not be the first lover, but someone will come along with whom your wife could also fall in love with. Then your sensitivity is required as to how you deal with it.

Another post with great advice. I very much like the idea of her getting a massage, especially if it's her first time. I have suggested for her to receive a nuru massage which I think would be super sexy to watch. I'm just not sure if they have those types of massages around here (SE Wisconsin) or not. In fact, I showed her the attached message and told her I would love to watch her get this.

I like watching the whole clip but my favorite part is when it starts at about the 9 minute mark and my absolute favorite part of the whole video is at 10:50 minute mark. Of course, everything after that is great as well.

https://www.youjizz.com/videos/ebony-goddess-gives-erotic-oil-massage-fucking-and-blowjob%21-67019512.html

~Salt

 

[SaltnPepper]

It is very common and a lot of fun and good memories

I'm hoping to make these kind of memories with my wife. As I've stated before, I've explained to her that it is a lot more common and that she probably knows some people who engage in this type of relationship but just doesn't tell her.

~Salt

 

[antonio13]

This is very common indeed, especially these days. As we both confessed that this lifestyle is something we both always dreamed we realised that at least one couple in our close relationship already living through this and so happy.

I think we had similar problem here at the very beginng, my wife is naturally jealous and she was in doubt for whom this once I slightly opened that topic. But once I fully confessed and showed how I love her and this lifestyle she finally managed to be open with me and confess that this is something she wanted to try for a long time too. And I truly believe that the majority of women want this naturally but if environment allows.

First time I realised that I have cuckolding nature is once we visited a nude resort where I could see how men starred at my wife. Some of them wanted to approach her and a few made a compliment. So quite a few times I struggled to hide my erection because of this.

I think for us one of the crucial point was to watch porn. Once I showed her MFM porn and I could notice straightaway how she was aroused although slightly ashamed so I did not mention anything but rather showed her how I became aroused. So next time despite being jealous she tried to "pay me back" and showed fmf, I really did not like it (neither my cock ) but rather found a good DP porn remarking "this is what we both like" and showed my rock solid penis. And then one day we watched gangbang when we managed both speak the truth.

 

[YourNewBull]

So, I've given some thought about how to best respond. You will see a lot of the responses you have received have been from guys sharing or who want to share their wives. I think that's a great perspective and certainly one you should expose Pepper to. I am not one of those guys. I am the guy who the wife is shared with, or in common parlance "The Bull". So I'd like to share my perspective as well. I think the first thing you both need to understand is that no 2 sharing relationships are the same. You have 3 people in this dynamic. The married couple and the extra. While wife sharing is waaay more common than the you may think, it isn't cookie cutter. You need to pick carefully who you want to be your third, and make sure you have clearly explained his role to him. Right now, IMO, you want to find a guy who your wife may be attracted to, but more importantly someone who understands she is unsure. That nothing may happen, or that maybe she will only let him steal a kiss or hold her hand. An unsure wife needs to be courted just like you did when you met her. From your side Salt, you need to decide what your comfort level is. Do you want to see her first kiss with another guy? You may say yes now, but when the three of you are chatting and laughing shit gets real when the lips lock. Your third needs to understand that you too have a comfort level. Your first third needs that understanding and the "maturity" to accept that he may go home without even a kiss and never get called again. Pepper needs to understand that this outcome is perfectly fine as well. That there are no expectations or disappointments. It should be as comfortable and pressure free as possible for her.

If you do find someone that Pepper wants more time with, you and she need to determine what is and isn't acceptable sexually and that too needs to be shared with the third. Again, communication, comfort and a lack of expectations is primary.

I hope this helped in some way. Feel free to reach out, or have Pepper reach out as well. I'm happy to field questions or whatever. This site is a community first and foremost. It is not meant to be a hookup site even though it does offer that opportunity. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving.

 

[adrianaYalbert]

... but more importantly someone who understands she is unsure. That nothing may happen, or that maybe she will only let him steal a kiss or hold her hand. An unsure wife needs to be courted just like you did when you met her. From your side Salt, you need to decide what your comfort level is. Do you want to see her first kiss with another guy? You may say yes now, but when the three of you are chatting and laughing shit gets real when the lips lock. Your third needs to understand that you too have a comfort level. Your first third needs that understanding and the "maturity" to accept that he may go home without even a kiss and never get called again. Pepper needs to understand that this outcome is perfectly fine as well. That there are no expectations or disappointments. It should be as comfortable and pressure free as possible for her.

If you do find someone that Pepper wants more time with, you and she need to determine what is and isn't acceptable sexually and that too needs to be shared with the third. Again, communication, comfort and a lack of expectations is primary.

I hope this helped in some way. Feel free to reach out, or have Pepper reach out as well. I'm happy to field questions or whatever. This site is a community first and foremost. It is not meant to be a hookup site even though it does offer that opportunity. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving.

Traveling very frequent in one month I had been away for about two weeks my wife could not understand my wish for her to have a lover. It has taken a few month in which I dropped that subject for discussion. When away in a different time zone sending her pictures on this subject on her phone. Selecting the time when the kids are asleep, for her to have time to look at it in peace of mind. She finally got my point when I bring a college who was on a visit for dinner. This guy doing a similar job and searching meanwhile for his third (Ex?) wife. With those frequent travel it is a matter of when the women will meet someone in the supermarket. Someone who is sympatric, good listener and around whenever.
My wife agreed to an experiment
And again, to my wife it was the first time important that the other men were physically according to her likes. She selected three from the internet and one agreed to take part of that experiment.
I took him aside when he turned up and enlighten him what to expect. Agreed was a erotic massage with 4 Hands. After a welcome coffee my wife left to take a shower and I arranged everything for that upcoming event. Wrapped in a bath towel my wife appeared and lay down between us on that small mattress to receive her massage.
After a bit of more than one hour my wife had in every hand a hard cock, whispered only that she wanted to be penetrated. Our team player positioned himself between my wife’s legs and I was really surprised with what kind of confidence my wife positioned his cock and the enormous pleasure when she received him and he pushed into her up to his balls. ...

 

[SaltnPepper]

This is very common indeed, especially these days. As we both confessed that this lifestyle is something we both always dreamed we realised that at least one couple in our close relationship already living through this and so happy.

I think we had similar problem here at the very beginng, my wife is naturally jealous and she was in doubt for whom this once I slightly opened that topic. But once I fully confessed and showed how I love her and this lifestyle she finally managed to be open with me and confess that this is something she wanted to try for a long time too. And I truly believe that the majority of women want this naturally but if environment allows.

First time I realised that I have cuckolding nature is once we visited a nude resort where I could see how men starred at my wife. Some of them wanted to approach her and a few made a compliment. So quite a few times I struggled to hide my erection because of this.

I think for us one of the crucial point was to watch porn. Once I showed her MFM porn and I could notice straightaway how she was aroused although slightly ashamed so I did not mention anything but rather showed her how I became aroused. So next time despite being jealous she tried to "pay me back" and showed fmf, I really did not like it (neither my cock ) but rather found a good DP porn remarking "this is what we both like" and showed my rock solid penis. And then one day we watched gangbang when we managed both speak the truth.

I tell Pepper that she probably knows a few people who are in the lifestyle but she just doesn't know it. Not everyone is comfortable with letting others know their personal business when it comes to this.

I agree with you that many women would like to engage in this type of lifestyle but taboo and other people's opinions of it keep them from moving forward.

A nude resort, hey? When we lived on the East Coast, I thought about taking her to a nude beach but couldn't find any.

Porn is also part of our life and she does not mind watching MFM threesomes as long as the people are good looking. Lol.

 

[SaltnPepper]

So, I've given some thought about how to best respond. You will see a lot of the responses you have received have been from guys sharing or who want to share their wives. I think that's a great perspective and certainly one you should expose Pepper to. I am not one of those guys. I am the guy who the wife is shared with, or in common parlance "The Bull". So I'd like to share my perspective as well. I think the first thing you both need to understand is that no 2 sharing relationships are the same. You have 3 people in this dynamic. The married couple and the extra. While wife sharing is waaay more common than the you may think, it isn't cookie cutter. You need to pick carefully who you want to be your third, and make sure you have clearly explained his role to him. Right now, IMO, you want to find a guy who your wife may be attracted to, but more importantly someone who understands she is unsure. That nothing may happen, or that maybe she will only let him steal a kiss or hold her hand. An unsure wife needs to be courted just like you did when you met her. From your side Salt, you need to decide what your comfort level is. Do you want to see her first kiss with another guy? You may say yes now, but when the three of you are chatting and laughing shit gets real when the lips lock. Your third needs to understand that you too have a comfort level. Your first third needs that understanding and the "maturity" to accept that he may go home without even a kiss and never get called again. Pepper needs to understand that this outcome is perfectly fine as well. That there are no expectations or disappointments. It should be as comfortable and pressure free as possible for her.

If you do find someone that Pepper wants more time with, you and she need to determine what is and isn't acceptable sexually and that too needs to be shared with the third. Again, communication, comfort and a lack of expectations is primary.

I hope this helped in some way. Feel free to reach out, or have Pepper reach out as well. I'm happy to field questions or whatever. This site is a community first and foremost. It is not meant to be a hookup site even though it does offer that opportunity. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving.

This is definitely a different perspective, coming from the third party. It is a welcome perspective though because you made some very valid points.

I have definitely thought about who we would invite, if this were to move forward. I know there are pros and cons to inviting someone you know versus someone you don't know. More importantly though is your point of explaining his role to him, especially the part of explaining that he may walk away "empty-handed" with absolutely nothing happening other than maybe talking.

As far as my comfort level is, it is what pepper would want it to be. I don't find her kissing someone to be exciting but to watch her wrap her lips around another man's cock, that would definitely do it for me. I do understand your point of saying that I would say yes now but when the three of us would be chatting, s*** gets real. I watched her dance with another guy and he had her hands on her hips and it was such a turn on, I have watched that video several times and every time it gets me excited. If she wants to kiss him, that would be perfectly fine but it's not what I would be looking for.

Thanks for the advice and insight from your perspective. Also thanks for the invite if we have any question N
xns and want to reach out. This definitely was helpful

This was helpful, thanks. If we have questions, we may be contacting you.

Happy Holidays!!!

~Salt

 

[Vincenzo]

My wife (Pepper) and I (Salt) joined this site as a couple, mostly because I asked her to. I hope it is also so she could learn more about the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle, which she finds "weird."

I have told her that it's more common than she thinks. Some people are really open with it while others not so much. Some people hide it from their partners while others are open about it.

Can anyone give advice/experiences that they've had?

I believe evwry woman wants to do it at least once. They're are just worried about the way they way will be perceived afterwards

 

[SaltnPepper]

I believe evwry woman wants to do it at least once. They're are just worried about the way they way will be perceived afterwards

I whole agree 100%...too worried about what others will think or say.

 

[Vincenzo]

I whole agree 100%...too worried about what others will think or say.

And if she gets all wild and freaky during it, I say hell ya...seems like we're all having a great time

 

[YourNewBull]

This is definitely a different perspective, coming from the third party. It is a welcome perspective though because you made some very valid points.

I have definitely thought about who we would invite, if this were to move forward. I know there are pros and cons to inviting someone you know versus someone you don't know. More importantly though is your point of explaining his role to him, especially the part of explaining that he may walk away "empty-handed" with absolutely nothing happening other than maybe talking.

As far as my comfort level is, it is what pepper would want it to be. I don't find her kissing someone to be exciting but to watch her wrap her lips around another man's cock, that would definitely do it for me. I do understand your point of saying that I would say yes now but when the three of us would be chatting, s*** gets real. I watched her dance with another guy and he had her hands on her hips and it was such a turn on, I have watched that video several times and every time it gets me excited. If she wants to kiss him, that would be perfectly fine but it's not what I would be looking for.

Thanks for the advice and insight from your perspective. Also thanks for the invite if we have any question N
xns and want to reach out. This definitely was helpful

This was helpful, thanks. If we have questions, we may be contacting you.

Happy Holidays!!!

~Salt

You're very welcome. I hope you enjoy your holidays too