This post is unhinged. You make a LOT of assumptions. You clearly don't understand the situation and can't relate. I'm glad that you're happy with what you're doing. But your advice is horrible. I should feel pain and suffer in silence while I let my wife go out with other men? I should sit at home feeling unwanted and excluded while she's out without me getting fucked? Lol, no. I will not take any of the advice you've provided because it's toxic. It's toxic because you have a predetermined outcome regardless of our situation. My wife has no desire to be a hotwife. Your response is all just assumptions, and they're wrong.
Advice please
- Thread starter ExploringCouple
- Start date
I can get down with this advice. It does make sense. I think about how I'd feel with two girls 🤤. I just don't want to ever feel like she likes them more. I'm good with being voltron and coming together with him to give her a mind blowing experience. I just don't want to sit on the sidelines. I don't want the one I love to think the other guy is better than me sexually.
Last edited:
Alrighty then.
An old Yiddish proverb: "Man plans and God laughs"
Fasten your seat belt, hold on tight and hope the ride ends as it started. Many have some haven't. For us things were different at #100 then they were at #1.
Do you believe that it's a foregone conclusion that if I start sharing her that she will eventually find other men that she likes to have sex with more than me?
Are you turned on by that idea?
Interesting. What's your dynamic and in what ways did your views and feelings change?
An interesting read. Find 100 'Cucks' on here and you will find 100 different dynamics. My wife and I have been in this sort of LS for 30 years. I don’t really see myself as a Cuckold, in the true sense. We started swinging first to enhance our love life. The first moment the other guy started fucking my wife, and he did pound her, completely mesmerised me. She was grunting loudly with every thrust. Next day, I was full of doubt and thought I'd done the wrong thing. Was he better than me. I discussed it with my wife and she laughed and told me not to be silly.
Then a few days later when I'd come to terms with it, I realised that I really enjoyed it and found our relationship more solid. I loved my wife even more for trying it.
The fact that your wife sees you as the best is because she is in love with you and the other guy can never give her that. But that's not what she wants. Another guy entered into the relationship is really no more than a very sophisticated dildo and should never be seen otherwise. If you're seeing every guy as some sort of threat, then you need to think hard about your next step. A good husband is so much more than just sex. But if you can find great thrill from a third person, then you have more than the next guy. There will always be a guy with a bigger cock, or more staying power. That shouldn't be seen as a problem but something more desirable.
As one reply has said, it seems too much about you and possibly not enough about your wife. If she would like to go to the next step, then if you really love her, you will seriously consider it. We've never played without me being present and participating. But that's just our way and brought us great pleasure. Your declaration of love for each other tells me that there is minimal risk for you to go to the next level. We're still together just the same after lots of playing.
There's also something VERY erotic about becoming ultra-vulnerable with your wife. You've already crossed the line into some shared territory. If you embrace the idea that you might either be humbled or hurt by her unbridled sexuality on display, you might have an existential moment with your relationship as you realize how powerful she really is.
If a 4wd SUV only takes to city streets because that's all that's available, you'll never see what it's capable of. Take it off-road a little, and you'll be Amazed at what it can do! Does that mean she will prefer the off-road driving? Maybe... but city streets are smooth and reliable. They're comfortable and pleasurable still. Let her try both, and take pleasure in her off-road experience. That's my advice... you're already SO close to doing it. Tweak your perspective a little, and you could have an incredible journey.
I read the first few lines of this post. She knows I'm here. I showed her the thread. She informed my previous response. Again, assuming things. I'm not sure who you are but I really hope that first timers aren't taking your advice to heart. You're going 100mph straight into cuck territory and don't consider the needs of the husband or the dynamic of the couple. Please stop responding. We don't want advice from you.
I wouldn't be happy being the city streets. I want to please her and make her happy with my sex. The other guy is just variety.... Not "better". At least that's what I hope...
Why? We're having fun so far and I feel mostly good with it to this point. If you are willing, I'd like to hear your reasoning. I'm willing to listen and heed warnings if I know why.
Look....I'm not meaning to offend you in any way, but it's obvious from your first post that your insecure. My better half and I have been in the "lifestyle" for over 25 years. There isn't much at this point we haven't seen. I can tell you if your not totally secure in your relationship with your wife, and as you put it, "when I picture in my mind, her actually sucking his dick or me standing aside and watching him fuck her, I feel a sense of panic and distress.", and if your not totally OK with seeing another man having sex with your wife....your asking for trouble, and it WILL come. Jealousy and apprehension has no place within the lifestyle. I've seen couple after couple not heed warnings given them by experienced people in the lifestyle, end up in divorce court.
I'm what they call a "Stag". I enjoy watching my wife have sex with other people. It has been a huge turn on for both of us from the start, but at the end of the night....no matter how great the sex was or how big their cocks were....I was from the start secure in knowing she was going home with me. We totally trust one an other, so I know for a fact there would be nothing going on behind my back....and the same goes for her. We are as much in love (probably more) now as we were when we first married 43 years ago. The sex to us only enhances our sex life. It's like having a human sex toy to us. Make no mistake, we have made some great friendships over the years, but the sex to us is just that....sex. If your having a sense of panic and distress at the thought of your wife fucking and sucking another man....then your NOT ready to be in this lifestyle and feeling "mostly good" about it, doesn't cut it. Not saying you can't get there, but you need to work on your own insecurities or your simply opening the door for trouble. Other people on here will tell you to just go for it. You'll get all sorts of advice, and 99.9% of it is bullshit. Do yourself a favor and step back from the lifestyle, have several serious talks with your wife about your feelings and hers, if she doesn't have the same feeling as you do or her feelings about the lifestyle are different, don't get upset or dismiss what she tells you. Just communicate with her.
Last edited:
Long read but may give you some insight
Is this the start or the end (part 1)?
Thursday, 8/30, I asked my wife if Gayle is going to join us for dinner Friday 8/31. (we're going out for pizza and Gayle's husband Jack is away). She's engrossed in reading a book and without any thought blurts out, "no, Gayle has a date." Then she realizes what she just said, stops reading...
www.wifewantstoplay.com
This whole concept is based on winning ur wife again and again. Proving her that u r the best. But if u afraid of losing how will u participate in a battle.
This is true. Believe your woman when she says that she only loves you. You know the signs of a solid relationship, if you place blame or guilt upon her , you will sabotage your marriage. She trusts you to allow this to happen do not ruin it for all involved.Do think it over, you may not be mature enough to handle this kind of pressure with your own guilt.
This is so true, have you limitations set and a great communication line set. Otherwise your jealousy will bring everything down and possibly ruin your relationship forever. A fantasy is fine but crossing the line is something completely different.
I am under the impression that you want to see your wife happy and fucked as long as she dont get penetrated. That is impossible... Relax, let her have her fun. For her just like for her bull it will be just sex! So what if she enjoys her bull more then she enjoys you? At the end of the day she will stay your wife and what happens in the bedroom will stay there. Dont worry pussy is not a bar of soap it wont tear up, it might get stretch a little but give it a day or two it will contract right back....
One day she will have enough of him and find a guy and bring him home and take charge and order him to seat in the chair and watch her get fucked and shut the hell up or she will leave him for a first guy that will let her play and make her happy!
No she won't because she's not a cheater. We're a team. Everything we do, we do with the other in mind. Good lord what is wrong with some of the people here. Do you really live your lives like this? Concerned only with your wife's crotch and not a thought given to delicate matters of the heart?
I came here for advice and understanding. Not to be ridiculed. Opening up like this is a BIG DEAL and very scary. Not to be taken lightly. It requires a lot of hard thought to make sure we do it the right way that works for us. There is no right or wrong way to do this as long as everyone enjoys it and doesn't get hurt. That's the part I'm struggling with.... I don't want to get hurt, or hurt her. I want to make sure we're doing this the right way FOR US as a couple..... Not what the hotwife Bible says is the right way to do things.
Last edited: