Anyone else the same as me with sexual desire?

[newtothis34]

Is anyone else the same as me? I would be interested to know so I don't feel so alone.
For me when I feel sexual attraction to someone and then have sex with that person the first time is always out of this world amazing for me and I have not had any complaints from the other person at all, on the contrary. Then the 2nd time is also amazing, not as good as the first and then it dwindles until about the 10th/12th time and for me there is no sexual attraction to the other person anymore and hence no sexual desire to have sex with the other person anymore. Is sex still enjoyable? in terms of the feeling of sexual stimulation, yes it still feels nice, but no sexual attraction to the other person or sexual desire towards the other person anymore. I still see the other person as very good looking but not sexually anymore. If the relationship progresses as lasts months and years my love, compassion and devotion for the other person increases with time but the sexual attraction and desire to have sex with my partner has vanished after about the 12th time of having sex, even though I still do have sex with my partner as I love them and want to please them even though there's no desire or excitement for me anymore. No matter if there's loads of things done to make it exciting nothing works. Even though the relationship is stronger than ever emotionally and love wise and the other person is just as eager or often more eager to have sex with me, I am so annoyed at myself and do everything I can't to change how I feel.

 

[IrishMaster]

sounds like you have intimacy issue just looking purely on what you wrote.
possible failure to form a deep lasting emotional bond .
you prefer intense reactional emotional highs to get your juices flowing.
commitment and emotional maturity are needed after the initial alure of new wears off.
i'd suggest form a longer lasting bond with lots of chats and open and frank discussions.

 

[newtothis34]

Thanks, but my wife of 7 years we have a amazing emotional relationship and have an amazing bind which keeps getting better and better. Just for me sex after a dozen times with the same person has no interest or much enjoyment for me anymore, wether its with my amazing wife who we love eachother greatly and have a great bond or it is with someone I hardly know and don't particularly like on a personal level, same result after a dozen times of sex.

 

[IrishMaster]

each to their own and you know yourself better than anyone lese and also your partner.
just for me I find that sex gets better when long term partner wife or someone else wife lol as you get to know each others bodies better with time.
also less inhibited and you learn different sensitive parts.
fresh new partnerships and meetings are of course exciting and hard to top.
well if you can keep getting new partners and are safe and it works for you then good for you.
keep up the good work.
we all have to understand who we are emotionally sexually etc and work as best we can with who and what we got .

 

[2wheel]

NRE -New Relationship Energy

Generally as the newness fades so does the amazing.

 

[Bobbers]

I have to disagree. My husband and I have been in the lifestyle well over 20 years. During that time we developed friendships that have withstood the test of time. Often times we would do family things with these folks that, of course, didn't involve sex. During the past several years we have added separate dating to our list of things we enjoy. This includes afternoon meet ups to overnighters. Often times it's with one of these friends. We don't keep count but the number of times we've had sex with these friends has to be in the dozens. Does it get old? Not a chance. We have found that as the friendship grows the sex just keeps getting better.

 

[newtothis34]

each to their own and you know yourself better than anyone lese and also your partner.
just for me I find that sex gets better when long term partner wife or someone else wife lol as you get to know each others bodies better with time.
also less inhibited and you learn different sensitive parts.
fresh new partnerships and meetings are of course exciting and hard to top.
well if you can keep getting new partners and are safe and it works for you then good for you.
keep up the good work.
we all have to understand who we are emotionally sexually etc and work as best we can with who and what we got .

Thanks for the reply, I guess for me it's just not possible to keep getting new partners at the moment. Before I was married and working in a night club, I did and sex was great as only would have sex for half a dozen times or just ONS.
Just that first few times, especially the very first of sex with someone new is so amazing, its just like everything is new, like opening up the best presents ever. Like I can not wait to just do everything, just to go down south as soon as possible,its like eating cake for the first time ever.

 

[stonemtncouple]

Yes your physiological reaction to sex with someone new is very normal. People have hormonal releases, reactions when having sex and sex with someone new releases increased levels of endorophins/adrenalin/ oxytosin/ etc. All the good stuff your body rewards you with when you do something pleasurable. Thats kinda why sex is pleasurable, the chemical releases that occur.
As the frequency or repetitiveness of sex with the same person happens your body decreases the release of these pleasure hormones/chemicals.
You might be extra sensitive to these pleasure hormones and have a tendency for other addictions as well. People who experience higher highs are lucky and cursed if you know what I mean.
“You might as well face it your addicted to love.”

 

[newtothis34]

Yes your physiological reaction to sex with someone new is very normal. People have hormonal releases, reactions when having sex and sex with someone new releases increased levels of endorophins/adrenalin/ oxytosin/ etc. All the good stuff your body rewards you with when you do something pleasurable. Thats kinda why sex is pleasurable, the chemical releases that occur.
As the frequency or repetitiveness of sex with the same person happens your body decreases the release of these pleasure hormones/chemicals.
You might be extra sensitive to these pleasure hormones and have a tendency for other addictions as well. People who experience higher highs are lucky and cursed if you know what I mean.
“You might as well face it your addicted to love.”

Thanks, thats very helpful and adds alot of clarity, this is something I have had or been like forever, I am now early 40s and first time I have ever spoken about it. An addictive personality, interesting, I for sure am with chocolate and other nice foods. But don't smoke or drink etc. Having to constantly burn off calories lol. I am terrible for giving into my chocolate and other food cravings. So annoying as I wish sex with my wife or other previous partners was the same as I am with food as I NEVER get bored or tired with food and when I am craving a certain food its like the first time I have ever eaten it, no matter how many years or times I have had that exact same bar of chocolate, Sadly not the same with sex with the same person.. wish it was, would have made my life so much easier.
Yes some things the same with you there. I don't know what it is, yes it could be just that I am promiscuous. Does not sound like I am Poly, just promiscuous.
The way it happens with me is:
a) See or meet or know someone who I am attracted to, sometimes its just a few seconds or sometimes years.

b) If I then happen to have sex with that person for the first time its like fireworks go off, its like the hottest most passionate sex ever, the other person then tends to respond to my energy and passion and it normally becomes this way for them too. Its like I have been desiring sex all my life and then suddenly it's happening, its like being lost in the desert and so so thirsty and all of a sudden you are given a cold bottle of water.

c) Then after this first time the next few are similar until up to about 12 times I no longer have that sexual desire anymore, even if I fall in love with that person and develop feelings, the sexual desire for the person will be gone. Like somethings even become kind of gross to me such as cunninglingus or my foot fetish, things which I loved to do at first. Sex with my wife is still enjoyable ofcourse, the feeling of being inside etc that feeling is always pleasant but would rather not bother to be honest. She is pretty asexual anyhow and doesn't care much about sex, so guess it actually works ok. But for me I do miss enjoying sex but that for me only happens the first few times and unless we are in the LS then guess it will just be a distant memory for me. Would love to try the LS with my wife and she has said she is open to it but under very very narrow stipulations. Such as it would have to be a couple we knew personally and none that we would meet online or at a swingers club. Well that makes it pretty much impossible then as we don't know many people and as swingers are in the minority and even if we knew people who were, how to bring that subject up would be tricky.
I keep trying to think of a way I could meet another couple who were in the LS and get to know them and then introduce my wife to them.
Maybe seeing my wife being intimate with someone else will reignite my sexual attraction to her some how in some strange part of my brain, it for sure does when I think about it.
Maybe I am Fraysexual (ignotasexual) ?

 

[stonemtncouple]

Thanks, thats very helpful and adds alot of clarity, this is something I have had or been like forever, I am now early 40s and first time I have ever spoken about it. An addictive personality, interesting, I for sure am with chocolate and other nice foods. But don't smoke or drink etc. Having to constantly burn off calories lol. I am terrible for giving into my chocolate and other food cravings. So annoying as I wish sex with my wife or other previous partners was the same as I am with food as I NEVER get bored or tired with food and when I am craving a certain food its like the first time I have ever eaten it, no matter how many years or times I have had that exact same bar of chocolate, Sadly not the same with sex with the same person.. wish it was, would have made my life so much easier.
Yes some things the same with you there. I don't know what it is, yes it could be just that I am promiscuous. Does not sound like I am Poly, just promiscuous.
The way it happens with me is:
a) See or meet or know someone who I am attracted to, sometimes its just a few seconds or sometimes years.

b) If I then happen to have sex with that person for the first time its like fireworks go off, its like the hottest most passionate sex ever, the other person then tends to respond to my energy and passion and it normally becomes this way for them too. Its like I have been desiring sex all my life and then suddenly it's happening, its like being lost in the desert and so so thirsty and all of a sudden you are given a cold bottle of water.

c) Then after this first time the next few are similar until up to about 12 times I no longer have that sexual desire anymore, even if I fall in love with that person and develop feelings, the sexual desire for the person will be gone. Like somethings even become kind of gross to me such as cunninglingus or my foot fetish, things which I loved to do at first. Sex with my wife is still enjoyable ofcourse, the feeling of being inside etc that feeling is always pleasant but would rather not bother to be honest. She is pretty asexual anyhow and doesn't care much about sex, so guess it actually works ok. But for me I do miss enjoying sex but that for me only happens the first few times and unless we are in the LS then guess it will just be a distant memory for me. Would love to try the LS with my wife and she has said she is open to it but under very very narrow stipulations. Such as it would have to be a couple we knew personally and none that we would meet online or at a swingers club. Well that makes it pretty much impossible then as we don't know many people and as swingers are in the minority and even if we knew people who were, how to bring that subject up would be tricky.
I keep trying to think of a way I could meet another couple who were in the LS and get to know them and then introduce my wife to them.
Maybe seeing my wife being intimate with someone else will reignite my sexual attraction to her some how in some strange part of my brain, it for sure does when I think about it.
Maybe I am Fraysexual (ignotasexual) ?

Probably!
I see my Hotwife as a Pornstar! Watching her and her videos gets me horny for her. She feeds my porn addiction, absolutely!
I need to stop jerking off while watching her videos and actually romance and fuck her instead.

 

[newtothis34]

Stone, sounds like an idea I would like to try. I would love to do porn videos of my wife, how do you do her videos? is she just solo or with you or with someone else? do you post them online?

 

[stonemtncouple]

Stone, sounds like an idea I would like to try. I would love to do porn videos of my wife, how do you do her videos? is she just solo or with you or with someone else? do you post them online?

I have camera’s usually old cell phones positioned around the bed when she invites a Bull over to fuck. They record the fun. I can be in the bedroom or not depends on what she wants.
Id say most of the time she wants DVP so I’m in the bedroom recording with an additional hand held DSLR camera that I put it down to join in MFM play.
Yes Ive posted many clips and still photos on this site that Ive recorded over the past years.

Provides countless hours of enjoyment and multiple orgasms for masturbation material afterward. Something about jerking off while watching my own wife thats the best!

 

[Sgt Ray]

Oh yeah, its hot beyond explanation watching my GF take a good fucking.

She got a new boss at work recently. When I asked her about him she replied "I'm gonna fuck him". She knows I have no issues with that. When I asked her why she was gonna fuck him, she told me he had a really big cock and was very in charge/in control.
I know she's always on the look out for guys with big cocks "its such a visual AND sexual turn-on" she says. She also enjoys the sub role in sex.
I asked her how she knew he was hung and she replied simply. "I sucked him off in his office today. Gotta be 8 or 9 inches and thick". Thats my gal...

Her new boss is gonna get a great fucking.

 

[Tripman]

Is anyone else the same as me? I would be interested to know so I don't feel so alone.
For me when I feel sexual attraction to someone and then have sex with that person the first time is always out of this world amazing for me and I have not had any complaints from the other person at all, on the contrary. Then the 2nd time is also amazing, not as good as the first and then it dwindles until about the 10th/12th time and for me there is no sexual attraction to the other person anymore and hence no sexual desire to have sex with the other person anymore. Is sex still enjoyable? in terms of the feeling of sexual stimulation, yes it still feels nice, but no sexual attraction to the other person or sexual desire towards the other person anymore. I still see the other person as very good looking but not sexually anymore. If the relationship progresses as lasts months and years my love, compassion and devotion for the other person increases with time but the sexual attraction and desire to have sex with my partner has vanished after about the 12th time of having sex, even though I still do have sex with my partner as I love them and want to please them even though there's no desire or excitement for me anymore. No matter if there's loads of things done to make it exciting nothing works. Even though the relationship is stronger than ever emotionally and love wise and the other person is just as eager or often more eager to have sex with me, I am so annoyed at myself and do everything I can't to change how I feel.