Does "routine" kill appeal?

[coastalkid]

I often read how routine sex diminishes desire in monogamous relationships. Does this happen in hotwife/cuckold relationships too? Does the sex ever become a predictable routine that over time loses its thrill to evoke desire and interest in your husband/bf? Have any of you husbands/bfs experienced this? Have any of you wives recognized that in your husbands/bfs acceptance or in your efforts to maintain the lifestyle?

I can see this issue cutting both ways.

I often read how wives tire of finding a compatible lover and how that search has provided wide and varied results. It almost sounds like a necessary routine in order to achieve the goal. I've read on more than one ocassion where wives said they quit being a hot wife solely because of the difficulty in finding a partner that fits their need(s). Add to that handling all the other fallout from having a lover and a husband/bf and it doesn't sound like a simple task.

On the other side, if a husband is home on every Thursday evening getting texts from his wife while she enjoys herself in any way she desires, texts that she's on her way home and then you do what you always do when she gets home, then doesn't/won't that become routine? If there's not a new and different experience for the husband won't it become too familiar over repetition?

Like a lot of men (I include myself), there is the ubiquitous, "I just want to see my wife happy and sexually satisfied." Since I'm not "in the lifestyle" (but obviously interested), I live for your answers because it helps me understand. Thanks

 

[Caldosch]

I haven't shared my wife yet so I can only answer based on our sex life.
I find that if we're fucking all the time, doing the same things then I get bored pretty quick and it shows in my enthusiasm and performance. It's the same for her I'm sure. I can only assume it's the same for any situation..after awhile, it looses some of its excitement. Not all, but probably some.
If/when I get to share mine, I'm hoping for regular encounters, but not everyday. Kinda a special occasion thing.

 

[coastalkid]

I haven't shared my wife yet so I can only answer based on our sex life.
I find that if we're fucking all the time, doing the same things then I get bored pretty quick and it shows in my enthusiasm and performance. It's the same for her I'm sure. I can only assume it's the same for any situation..after awhile, it looses some of its excitement. Not all, but probably some.
If/when I get to share mine, I'm hoping for regular encounters, but not everyday. Kinda a special occasion thing.

I haven't shared my wife either and our sex is very routine. Like you, I believe that ANYTHING that becomes routine will lose its appeal to some degree and as you say affect enthusiasm and performance. I can testify that being true for me.

What I wonder is if the argument that anything routine diminishes the experience, can the hot wife/cuckold experience suffer from the same thing. Can it become routine too? What happens if the wife/gf has her own routine that fully satisfies her but her husband's routine loses its appeal because he isn't experiencing anything new?

 

[coastalkid]

It's just like anything else. If you end up getting into a routine of doing it all the time and the same way every time, it's going to get boring pretty damn quick. We keep ours separate from our regular life. Like the other guy said, it's more of a special occasion thing. I mean some of it does have a certain routine to it, that we always go out of town and book a hotel when we decide to do it. But then we go to different clubs or bars each time, and my wife wears different dresses and skirts when she's trying to get hit on and picked up. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. But that's the excitement in it. The spontaneity of it, when we go out, there's a chance my wife is going to get fucked back at our hotel room. We don't plan for it to happen, we just go out and see where the night takes us. That is what works for us, anyway.

I think the key in how you two approach this has already addressed the "routine" issue. By making it a "special event" and limiting the frequency you retain the "newness". Letting things "just happen" leaves room for new experiences. You have been preempting the routine by varying the place and subsequently the vibe each time.

I know everyone approaches this differently and I'm not suggesting my scenario that follows is anything more than food for discussion. Let's say that a couple has agreed that on "girls night out" the wife was free to have sex. The husband is home waiting to reclaim her or whatever their "routine" is. First time is off the charts for the husband. His wife DID IT. He's ecstatic over it. After a year of that, is he still as ecstatic, does he feel the same anticipation as he did at the start? Does the routine need to be adjusted to satisfy both of them?

What I was hoping for was to see if anyone had recognized that their "lifestyle" activities had become routine and what they did to keep it fresh.