Why does a wife saying, "you asked for this", get turned into unilateral authority to do anything? Is THAT what he asked for?

[coastalkid]

Why does it seem that when you read threads about a gf/wife that is "asked" to become a hotwife/cuckold wife, she clears the slate oblivious to her bf/husband and sets her own absolute rules. I get that it's her body but what if it is beyond what a bf/husband "asked" for? Aren't relationships doomed if only one side is "truly" happy and satisfied? Once again, I get that some people derive their satisfaction through various forms of denial (be it actual sex or the verbal intimate details of her activities).

Do people really do this? Is this just fantasy bs?

 

[BullDotado]

She should take full control of the relationship from a man who can't satisfy her sexual needs. If he didn't marry her just for sex, he should get his pleasure from knowing she's happy.

Men who don't value their physical fitness and/or otherwise just don't have what it takes to please a woman have no business leading a relationship (or anything really). They can either do the work it takes to be a healthy man or transition to a girl. Get a cat, dog, or something if you feel you must be a leader.

 

[jw_kk]

Why does it seem that when you read threads about a gf/wife that is "asked" to become a hotwife/cuckold wife, she clears the slate oblivious to her bf/husband and sets her own absolute rules. I get that it's her body but what if it is beyond what a bf/husband "asked" for? Aren't relationships doomed if only one side is "truly" happy and satisfied? Once again, I get that some people derive their satisfaction through various forms of denial (be it actual sex or the verbal intimate details of her activities).

Do people really do this? Is this just fantasy bs?

Yes - people really do this.

In some sense you've partially answered your own question. We are all autonomous individuals, with bodily, physical autonomy. It is indeed her body, and her rules as it relates to her body, and greater sense of self.

If you can't find acceptance in that very basic thing, any aspect of a hot wife / cuckold relationship is difficult to impossible. There is nothing in my experience more powerful, more erotic, sensual, intense and satisfying than my wife's pleasure and orgasm....

 

[hotwifelexy]

Why does it seem that when you read threads about a gf/wife that is "asked" to become a hotwife/cuckold wife, she clears the slate oblivious to her bf/husband and sets her own absolute rules. I get that it's her body but what if it is beyond what a bf/husband "asked" for? Aren't relationships doomed if only one side is "truly" happy and satisfied? Once again, I get that some people derive their satisfaction through various forms of denial (be it actual sex or the verbal intimate details of her activities).

Do people really do this? Is this just fantasy bs?

Each to their own really. I pick the guys and however many and she has no idea until the turn up what they look like or how many there will be. I pretty call the shots. Safe sex and no anal. Anything else goes.

 

[coastalkid]

Yes - people really do this.

In some sense you've partially answered your own question. We are all autonomous individuals, with bodily, physical autonomy. It is indeed her body, and her rules as it relates to her body, and greater sense of self.

If you can't find acceptance in that very basic thing, any aspect of a hot wife / cuckold relationship is difficult to impossible. There is nothing in my experience more powerful, more erotic, sensual, intense and satisfying than my wife's pleasure and orgasm....

I wholeheartedly agree with you about the gratifying feeling I get when I have helped my wife have an orgasm. I believe I much prefer that experience to my own orgasm in terms of having a successful session of sex. There's something that can't be denied in the sense of power I feel when I know I was in part responsible for bringing her to orgasm. In my mind I always tell myself, "You made her shake and quiver and breath rapidly. You did that!" I ALWAYS hope that it will result in creating a craving in her for more. I'd say in my observation the actual results have been mixed.

I also agree with you about physical autonomy and "her rules". It seems fundamental that reserving your right to choose is rooted in basic freedoms that all people deserve. Denying those freedoms suggest that you "don't deserve to be treated with dignity" and consequently made to feel like a lesser, unequal person.

When I look hard at my original question, I can see that I am influenced by the multitude of people that are 1) Not in long term relationships, 2) In extreme relationships (i.e. complete denial, deep humiliation, complete responsibility for domestic duties, etc.), 3) Split up, divorced, or having had a failed relationship. When I asked if people really do this, I think I'm really asking "how" they do it and satisfy both partners?

I know it's just my observation but, within the small percentage of people in this lifestyle there is a great deal of failure. Which seems to make those couples that are successful an even smaller percentage. I just have to believe that in that small group there is a special and specific sensitivity to and from both sides.

 

[Shawnweav]

She should take full control of the relationship from a man who can't satisfy her sexual needs. If he didn't marry her just for sex, he should get his pleasure from knowing she's happy.

Men who don't value their physical fitness and/or otherwise just don't have what it takes to please a woman have no business leading a relationship (or anything really). They can either do the work it takes to be a healthy man or transition to a girl. Get a cat, dog, or something if you feel you must be a leader.

I completely disagree. With us, it's true that I find it rather cool when other men desire her and she doesn't want other men in real life.

But if that were the case and she demanded it from me, she would have advantages as a woman. Then she would also have to demand that I fly to Thailand 3 to 4 times a year and fuck at least my 10 to 14 thais per vacation.

It would be the same argument as saying that if the woman is 40 and I like younger women, she has to tolerate it. That's stupid. Both have to be happy with it. Its a relationship or marriage, There much more important things than Sex. If Both Are Fine with it, Go for it.

A Woman has her Body! But the man have a Pocket. Never forget haha

 

[spin418]

She should take full control of the relationship from a man who can't satisfy her sexual needs. If he didn't marry her just for sex, he should get his pleasure from knowing she's happy.

Men who don't value their physical fitness and/or otherwise just don't have what it takes to please a woman have no business leading a relationship (or anything really). They can either do the work it takes to be a healthy man or transition to a girl. Get a cat, dog, or something if you feel you must be a leader.

First part makes some sense — I do think many men who want to be cuckolded probably do want to cede control in the bedroom — but after that, more than anything else, this seems silly and pretty much designed to provoke.

 

[BullDotado]

First part makes some sense — I do think many men who want to be cuckolded probably do want to cede control in the bedroom — but after that, more than anything else, this seems silly and pretty much designed to provoke.

Those who can't satisfy women sexually have no business asserting their sexual wants into the lives of fit/sexually skilled people anymore than a fan or the owner of a professional basketball team has the right to run on the court and play in the game.

Stay off the professional court, and if you feel you must play, then do so in your own league. There are those of us who're serious about this sex game and do the work it takes to be fit enough to play it at the highest levels.

If you're fit, equipped, and can play at a high level then you have no basis to be a cuckold. If you've not done the work, or if you lost the genetic lottery, then you have no business on the court and deserve nothing but ridicule for asserting that you do.

If you're supporting your wife based on her willingness to sacrifice the best sex life she could be having and to fulfill your sexual desires, then you never wanted her as a wife, you wanted a live-in prostitute. In this case she not only has a right to lead in the bedroom, she also has a right to treat you with the same disrespect that you've treated her with and to have you sacrifice your sex life like you've asked her to do.

The good cuck who loves his wife would allow her and her bull/boyfriend to lead him into the physical and mental fitness it takes to properly pleasure women, or to otherwise be useful, respectful, and not assert himself into her sex life until he's sufficiently progressed and she asks for it.

The selfish, lazy, scorn-worthy cuck thinks he should be able to skip doing the work he needs to do to do the lady right in bed, but still have her hand over her pink gold to him. Women should have no tolerance for that, but money and fear of insecurity often chains them to these pathetic, selfish, immoral cucks. More guys like me need to stand up for these women and help them with a way out of the traps they feel they're in. Their husbands need leadership to become real men (or to accept they're better off as girls), and women often don't have it in them to do so themselves.

 

[WNY3somecple]

Why does it seem that when you read threads about a gf/wife that is "asked" to become a hotwife/cuckold wife, she clears the slate oblivious to her bf/husband and sets her own absolute rules. I get that it's her body but what if it is beyond what a bf/husband "asked" for? Aren't relationships doomed if only one side is "truly" happy and satisfied? Once again, I get that some people derive their satisfaction through various forms of denial (be it actual sex or the verbal intimate details of her activities).

Do people really do this? Is this just fantasy bs?

Fantasy bs in the vast majority

 

[coastalkid]

Fantasy bs in the vast majority

I agree

 

[Devzilla]

Her body her rules period if you have a problem with that or her being free don't go through with the LS in RL

 

[Devzilla]

Each to their own really. I pick the guys and however many and she has no idea until the turn up what they look like or how many there will be. I pretty call the shots. Safe sex and no anal. Anything else goes.

I don't trust anyone to pick for me it's the equivalent of being pimped out

 

[coastalkid]

Her body her rules period if you have a problem with that or her being free don't go through with the LS in RL

I don't have a problem with it. I've always respected my wife's sexual autonomy our entire marriage. It's always been "her body, her rules" no matter what kind of relationship we're in. I'm thankful I was raised right and have always respected women.

The real gist of my question is more about the power exchange. So, often you read here that once a wife becomes a hotwife a new hierarchy is established that invariably has all control about sexual related matters given over to the wife. Most often there are no rules for the wife and plenty of rules for the husband. Now, most of this may be bullshit that some guy is making up and posting here but it comes up often enough for there to be possible instances of it truly existing.

For instance, can you say that you are truly concerned about your husband's happiness and sexual satisfaction? If you are then fuck yeah, let's go along for the ride baby! If not, then how long can that really go on before the wheels fall off?

I have a feeling that women are a lot more compassionate to their SO's then people let on here. Too bad, because knowing how to make it work is a shit ton more valuable than being entertained by a disaster movie

 

[3xcuck4bbc]

Why does it seem that when you read threads about a gf/wife that is "asked" to become a hotwife/cuckold wife, she clears the slate oblivious to her bf/husband and sets her own absolute rules. I get that it's her body but what if it is beyond what a bf/husband "asked" for? Aren't relationships doomed if only one side is "truly" happy and satisfied? Once again, I get that some people derive their satisfaction through various forms of denial (be it actual sex or the verbal intimate details of her activities).

Do people really do this? Is this just fantasy bs?

Yup. We are asking them to give up their most precious virtue so of course they are going to go all in if they commit.

 

[Jeanswatcher]

If you "ask" her to take another male sexually and she takes up the offer then as its her body it is her choice what happens at this and any future meets. I have come across and spoken to a lot of men over the years that cannot understand why she will submit to things with her lover but not with him. Many come to dislike her enjoyment of this LS, one that they originally suggested and wanted, now she is driving this for her own wants and sexual desires.

The simple fact is your her husband or partner and he becomes her lover to enjoy exploring her mind and body and escape from her normal life. My wifes view is, he is my boyfriend or lover, sex based, she can change him easily if bored of him and me, i am her loving husband to share her life with.

Can you be both: experience suggests probably not as she seeks more sexual deborchary and enjoyment submitting to an excellent different lover. My wife has had over the years many different lovers, mainly long term ones but during all this just one husband and best friend. ME.

The key to this is excellent honest communication, however any man suggesting this to his wife should know if she agrees and likes it, to her it is to have better and a more varied sexual experience, to expand her sexuality with him rather than with you. You did what this to happen didnt you?

However she should involve you her husband in someway to keep the friendship and marriage sweet and electric, it may overtime cease to be directly or in a physically sexual way either, it does change how she views you. Few realise that overtime they are likely to be waving goodbye to their direct physical sexual involvement with her.

My sexuality has expanded at the hands of my wife, at the beginning she drove our involvement in this LS, not me, she later chose to semi feminise me, sure i would like this, i have but it definately wasnt something on my radar years since, its just evolved overtime, pushed by her, collared, caged and a wearer everyday of female clothing and celebate, locked away. Intense mental stimulation is miles better than cumming for 2 minutes.

So we are still a kinky couple, have plenty to discuss and still deeply in love and best friends, yet at the same time in the normal world both dominant characters and yet both sexually submissive, she to him and me to her. It was her choice to covertly introduce my feminisation into normal vanilla life. It serves as a reminded how kinky we actually are.

I can watch as i wish and have done every perverted, kinky permutation i can think of over many years and still find it exciting. Suggestions on a postcard please....

 

[Loyaltoher]

Those who can't satisfy women sexually have no business asserting their sexual wants into the lives of fit/sexually skilled people anymore than a fan or the owner of a professional basketball team has the right to run on the court and play in the game.

Stay off the professional court, and if you feel you must play, then do so in your own league. There are those of us who're serious about this sex game and do the work it takes to be fit enough to play it at the highest levels.

If you're fit, equipped, and can play at a high level then you have no basis to be a cuckold. If you've not done the work, or if you lost the genetic lottery, then you have no business on the court and deserve nothing but ridicule for asserting that you do.

If you're supporting your wife based on her willingness to sacrifice the best sex life she could be having and to fulfill your sexual desires, then you never wanted her as a wife, you wanted a live-in prostitute. In this case she not only has a right to lead in the bedroom, she also has a right to treat you with the same disrespect that you've treated her with and to have you sacrifice your sex life like you've asked her to do.

The good cuck who loves his wife would allow her and her bull/boyfriend to lead him into the physical and mental fitness it takes to properly pleasure women, or to otherwise be useful, respectful, and not assert himself into her sex life until he's sufficiently progressed and she asks for it.

The selfish, lazy, scorn-worthy cuck thinks he should be able to skip doing the work he needs to do to do the lady right in bed, but still have her hand over her pink gold to him. Women should have no tolerance for that, but money and fear of insecurity often chains them to these pathetic, selfish, immoral cucks. More guys like me need to stand up for these women and help them with a way out of the traps they feel they're in. Their husbands need leadership to become real men (or to accept they're better off as girls), and women often don't have it in them to do so themselves.

I agree with your perspective on being a supportive cuck to the hotwife’s lifestyle

 

[Distraction79]

I think there is the sexual based reality of that, or theme to it. Your wife .. her body, her rules ... this if true of course. If it was the situation that the man chooses which guys fuck his wife (without her veto) then it's pimping out. Same goes for a cuckolding relationship. If the husband doesn't have a veto or a "killswitch" this also wouldn't work. It works for a fantasy, it works in stories ... sometimes ... but not in reality.
In a loving cuckolding relationship both have to want it, they both need to be on board and both have to nurture it and help to develop it. If it's only one sided it can pretty fast cross the boundary and become cheating.
Same goes for FLR, BDSM, D&S relationships in general. You need to have consent. It's something that both of them want that way and would not want it to have it the other way.

So "My body, my rules" in the end just means "FUCK YOU" when it's without consent and for most people it would end right there
or it's with consent and then it's stimulating and exciting. If I would be in a FLR (with consent of course) and my wife would choose a lover, it would be consentual and I would feel happy, because she would make sure that it's stimulating for both of us, she would set the boundaries with our relationship in mind and she would make sure that it never crosses that boundaries.

 

[coastalkid]

I think there is the sexual based reality of that, or theme to it. Your wife .. her body, her rules ... this if true of course. If it was the situation that the man chooses which guys fuck his wife (without her veto) then it's pimping out. Same goes for a cuckolding relationship. If the husband doesn't have a veto or a "killswitch" this also wouldn't work. It works for a fantasy, it works in stories ... sometimes ... but not in reality.
In a loving cuckolding relationship both have to want it, they both need to be on board and both have to nurture it and help to develop it. If it's only one sided it can pretty fast cross the boundary and become cheating.
Same goes for FLR, BDSM, D&S relationships in general. You need to have consent. It's something that both of them want that way and would not want it to have it the other way.

So "My body, my rules" in the end just means "FUCK YOU" when it's without consent and for most people it would end right there
or it's with consent and then it's stimulating and exciting. If I would be in a FLR (with consent of course) and my wife would choose a lover, it would be consentual and I would feel happy, because she would make sure that it's stimulating for both of us, she would set the boundaries with our relationship in mind and she would make sure that it never crosses that boundaries.

Your answer is closest to what I believe to be a realistic answer.

I didn't start this thread with "My body, my rules" as the centerpiece but only as an acknowledged fact. I've always respected my wife and women in regard to their bodily autonomy and I can't imagine anyone not doing that. Somehow that became the larger discussion point.

You have read my question and zeroed in on what my real intent was. Don't both parties in a loving relationship have the responsibility to do their best to help their partner feel loved and cared for no matter what kind of lifestyle it is?

I can't imagine a wife/gf that could go from being a committed partner, that was reluctant to become a hot wife, filled with self-doubts about her attractiveness, her age, her clothes, her confidence and forget that she had those initial doubts. She'd have to be somewhat sensitized to the experience. How could she possibly not remember that her partner was there for her to work past those doubts? I struggle to believe that suddenly a wife/gf becomes unbending, non-negotiable, self centered and behaving uncharacteristically and unrecognizable. That's a big mood swing.

Further, many proponents will say, "Well, you were the one that pushed for it now deal with the consequences!" I completely agree, however, if I make a mistake in what I think I want it shouldn't have lifetime consequences. How is that mistake any worse than the number of mistakes a hot wife makes at the beginning? Yeah, I should have to face consequences but there should also be a resolution.

Yeah, some of these stories maybe true, some people manage to make it work but, I'll bet most of the true stories didn't last long or were so extreme you know it can't be true.

 

[Fredposer2017]

Why does it seem that when you read threads about a gf/wife that is "asked" to become a hotwife/cuckold wife, she clears the slate oblivious to her bf/husband and sets her own absolute rules. I get that it's her body but what if it is beyond what a bf/husband "asked" for? Aren't relationships doomed if only one side is "truly" happy and satisfied? Once again, I get that some people derive their satisfaction through various forms of denial (be it actual sex or the verbal intimate details of her activities).

Do people really do this? Is this just fantasy bs?

Hey Sean and Jennifer here. We imagine that there is very small minority that exists and the rules and roles are stacked to one side. This applies to both male and females. We also think that most of this is just an overwhelming majority of folks just living out a Walter Mitty fantasy. We've spotted several o this forum alone.

 

[coastalkid]

Hey Sean and Jennifer here. We imagine that there is very small minority that exists and the rules and roles are stacked to one side. This applies to both male and females. We also think that most of this is just an overwhelming majority of folks just living out a Walter Mitty fantasy. We've spotted several o this forum alone.

I agree with you! The greater percentage seems to be masturbation fodder (or fiction/horror).