Her most recent after a long road

This all started in our early 20’s when we were engaged and living long distance due to our jobs. She suggested we try sleeping with other people just for casual fun since we couldn’t be together and I loved the idea. At first she would tell me when it was going to happen and would text me as the evening progressed leading up to them getting a room. She would never give me a ton of details but enough to keep me satisfied. She then became uncomfortable telling me all the time when it was going to happen (i think she thought i would think it was too often) and she started doing it behind my back. At one point she came clean and I made way too big of a deal than I should have and she ultimately ended up saying she didn’t want to do it anymore. For years I both suspected that she was and tried to encourage it and get her to admit it with no luck, it even became a problem where she would get mad at me for bringing it up but I couldn’t help it because A- I wanted it to be happening and B- I thought it was happening and just wanted to be filled in so I could enjoy as well.
Fast forward several head to last winter, I was taking the kids away skiing and she was staying home to work. I sensed that something was up and was going to encourage her but chose not to because she always shot down.
Sure enough one of the nights she “went to dinner with a female coworker” and late at night (11:30ish) she texts me saying she was on her way home and “in a rare moment her phone had died”. I was suspicious but the next day it didn’t seem like anything was up so I brushed it off.
Fast forward a couple of days and after we are home a pair of red see through panties that I had never seen before and not something that she would normally wear caught my eye on the floor. A lightbulb went off in my head and I immediately checked the hours of the restaurant and sure enough they closed at 9:00 that night. Once again I handled it differently than I wish I had but as much as it turns me on now it upset me at the time. I had practically begged her to do exactly that and she made me feel like the bad guy and then goes and does it behind my back. I confronted her about it and she denied at first but ended up admitting it. It turned into a big ordeal and actually led to us separating which we still are. She claimed it was a one time thing and she was exploring to see how she would feel. I continued to question a lot of her previous actions and still feel she has been cheating all along.
A couple of months ago she was on a business trip (while we were separated) and I could tell something was up. When she returned I checked her suitcase and sure enough there was a new set of lingerie (see through bra, panties and black stockings). I didn’t tell her i saw them but tried to get her to tell me something had happened but had no luck. Since then I have been keeping an eye on her drawer where she keeps her lingerie that she almost never uses and I check to see if it’s there when she is out.
It has all been there every time until last week when she had a “work Christmas party” after work. As soon as I got to the house that day after she left for work i checked the drawer and the see through panties from the trip and a sexy red bra were gone…. I knew something was up! She ended up texting me at about 10:20 that she was on her way home and ended up coming in shorty after 11:00. (After some research the restaurant closed at 9:30 and it doesn’t take almost an hour to get home). Last but not least when she got home I was talking with her in the kitchen and I can see that the corner of her glasses were filthy and it was a white streak from top to bottom. I am 90% certain it had to be cum. The next day we got into it about it and I ended up sending a text saying that I was glad the restaurant stayed open an extra hour and a half again for you and glad that you cleaned the cum off your glasses before going to work today…. She called me crazy and rigorously denied that she was anywhere but at the work party but she didn’t even touch the comment about the cum on the glasses.
In summary as mad as it makes me that it’s behind my back it makes me so f’n horny! I’m hoping to get back together with her and encourage her to do as she pleases without the pressure of telling me. As I have found out, I have my ways of knowing myself!
 
This all started in our early 20’s when we were engaged and living long distance due to our jobs. She suggested we try sleeping with other people just for casual fun since we couldn’t be together and I loved the idea. At first she would tell me when it was going to happen and would text me as the evening progressed leading up to them getting a room. She would never give me a ton of details but enough to keep me satisfied. She then became uncomfortable telling me all the time when it was going to happen (i think she thought i would think it was too often) and she started doing it behind my back. At one point she came clean and I made way too big of a deal than I should have and she ultimately ended up saying she didn’t want to do it anymore. For years I both suspected that she was and tried to encourage it and get her to admit it with no luck, it even became a problem where she would get mad at me for bringing it up but I couldn’t help it because A- I wanted it to be happening and B- I thought it was happening and just wanted to be filled in so I could enjoy as well.
Fast forward several head to last winter, I was taking the kids away skiing and she was staying home to work. I sensed that something was up and was going to encourage her but chose not to because she always shot down.
Sure enough one of the nights she “went to dinner with a female coworker” and late at night (11:30ish) she texts me saying she was on her way home and “in a rare moment her phone had died”. I was suspicious but the next day it didn’t seem like anything was up so I brushed it off.
Fast forward a couple of days and after we are home a pair of red see through panties that I had never seen before and not something that she would normally wear caught my eye on the floor. A lightbulb went off in my head and I immediately checked the hours of the restaurant and sure enough they closed at 9:00 that night. Once again I handled it differently than I wish I had but as much as it turns me on now it upset me at the time. I had practically begged her to do exactly that and she made me feel like the bad guy and then goes and does it behind my back. I confronted her about it and she denied at first but ended up admitting it. It turned into a big ordeal and actually led to us separating which we still are. She claimed it was a one time thing and she was exploring to see how she would feel. I continued to question a lot of her previous actions and still feel she has been cheating all along.
A couple of months ago she was on a business trip (while we were separated) and I could tell something was up. When she returned I checked her suitcase and sure enough there was a new set of lingerie (see through bra, panties and black stockings). I didn’t tell her i saw them but tried to get her to tell me something had happened but had no luck. Since then I have been keeping an eye on her drawer where she keeps her lingerie that she almost never uses and I check to see if it’s there when she is out.
It has all been there every time until last week when she had a “work Christmas party” after work. As soon as I got to the house that day after she left for work i checked the drawer and the see through panties from the trip and a sexy red bra were gone…. I knew something was up! She ended up texting me at about 10:20 that she was on her way home and ended up coming in shorty after 11:00. (After some research the restaurant closed at 9:30 and it doesn’t take almost an hour to get home). Last but not least when she got home I was talking with her in the kitchen and I can see that the corner of her glasses were filthy and it was a white streak from top to bottom. I am 90% certain it had to be cum. The next day we got into it about it and I ended up sending a text saying that I was glad the restaurant stayed open an extra hour and a half again for you and glad that you cleaned the cum off your glasses before going to work today…. She called me crazy and rigorously denied that she was anywhere but at the work party but she didn’t even touch the comment about the cum on the glasses.
In summary as mad as it makes me that it’s behind my back it makes me so f’n horny! I’m hoping to get back together with her and encourage her to do as she pleases without the pressure of telling me. As I have found out, I have my ways of knowing myself!
Sounds like you're torn between it happening and not happening. Yes, you handled it badly each time, it could have been a wonderful continuing experience for you both but I think that train has left the station.
 
All I am going to say is that from everything I have heard and read it takes a solid marriage and truthfulness to make this sort of lifestyle work. She is denying what is actually happening and calling you crazy. Some betrayed partners might even say it wasn’t the cheating sex with the other person that killed the marriage so much as it was the lying.
 
Pretty sure she did again the other night. I knew she was considering going out based on some clues I picked up with her being very in tune with the fact the kids and I all had plans for the evening. Rather than waiting to see what she said I suggested she take some time for herself and go out after work. I also suggested that I didn’t want her to feel she had to account for every step and second with me. Long story short I know she was free to do as she wished around 7:00 and texted me that she was on her way home around 10:00. Very similar 45 minute ride home to when she was supposedly at the Christmas party a few weeks ago. I felt a few moments of anxiety when she was out but way less knowing that I kind of eluded to knowing that something might be going on. I didn’t ask where she was and she didn’t tell but I feel much better about it then when she has to make up where she is and I am questioning everything about it the whole time and wondering when she’ll be home. I honestly feel like it could have been a huge step for both of us here.
 
Most men would give their arm and more to have a wife like yours. You are so lucky and yet you managed to mess it up each time. I would love it if my wife had more lovers but she prefers one steady guy at any given time.....
Get your act together buddy and enjoy the good life..
 
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This all started in our early 20’s when we were engaged and living long distance due to our jobs. She suggested we try sleeping with other people just for casual fun since we couldn’t be together and I loved the idea. At first she would tell me when it was going to happen and would text me as the evening progressed leading up to them getting a room. She would never give me a ton of details but enough to keep me satisfied. She then became uncomfortable telling me all the time when it was going to happen (i think she thought i would think it was too often) and she started doing it behind my back. At one point she came clean and I made way too big of a deal than I should have and she ultimately ended up saying she didn’t want to do it anymore. For years I both suspected that she was and tried to encourage it and get her to admit it with no luck, it even became a problem where she would get mad at me for bringing it up but I couldn’t help it because A- I wanted it to be happening and B- I thought it was happening and just wanted to be filled in so I could enjoy as well.
Fast forward several head to last winter, I was taking the kids away skiing and she was staying home to work. I sensed that something was up and was going to encourage her but chose not to because she always shot down.
Sure enough one of the nights she “went to dinner with a female coworker” and late at night (11:30ish) she texts me saying she was on her way home and “in a rare moment her phone had died”. I was suspicious but the next day it didn’t seem like anything was up so I brushed it off.
Fast forward a couple of days and after we are home a pair of red see through panties that I had never seen before and not something that she would normally wear caught my eye on the floor. A lightbulb went off in my head and I immediately checked the hours of the restaurant and sure enough they closed at 9:00 that night. Once again I handled it differently than I wish I had but as much as it turns me on now it upset me at the time. I had practically begged her to do exactly that and she made me feel like the bad guy and then goes and does it behind my back. I confronted her about it and she denied at first but ended up admitting it. It turned into a big ordeal and actually led to us separating which we still are. She claimed it was a one time thing and she was exploring to see how she would feel. I continued to question a lot of her previous actions and still feel she has been cheating all along.
A couple of months ago she was on a business trip (while we were separated) and I could tell something was up. When she returned I checked her suitcase and sure enough there was a new set of lingerie (see through bra, panties and black stockings). I didn’t tell her i saw them but tried to get her to tell me something had happened but had no luck. Since then I have been keeping an eye on her drawer where she keeps her lingerie that she almost never uses and I check to see if it’s there when she is out.
It has all been there every time until last week when she had a “work Christmas party” after work. As soon as I got to the house that day after she left for work i checked the drawer and the see through panties from the trip and a sexy red bra were gone…. I knew something was up! She ended up texting me at about 10:20 that she was on her way home and ended up coming in shorty after 11:00. (After some research the restaurant closed at 9:30 and it doesn’t take almost an hour to get home). Last but not least when she got home I was talking with her in the kitchen and I can see that the corner of her glasses were filthy and it was a white streak from top to bottom. I am 90% certain it had to be cum. The next day we got into it about it and I ended up sending a text saying that I was glad the restaurant stayed open an extra hour and a half again for you and glad that you cleaned the cum off your glasses before going to work today…. She called me crazy and rigorously denied that she was anywhere but at the work party but she didn’t even touch the comment about the cum on the glasses.
In summary as mad as it makes me that it’s behind my back it makes me so f’n horny! I’m hoping to get back together with her and encourage her to do as she pleases without the pressure of telling me. As I have found out, I have my ways of knowing myself!
I would say enjoy yourself and I want to see the hickeys on your tits in the morning.