Hotwife Question

[keylife022]

First I think someone has to push and want it more as it is a big step outside of a monogamous couples comfort zone, usually the husband. So I wouldn’t feel too bad about that. She still has free will and can say no, which you must respect. I have found that all the cuck type guys I’ve chatted with that are into this want their wife to suddenly become a wonton cock craving slut and want this for solely to fulfill her insatiable craving for huge cock. That is not going to just happen suddenly. I think she is interested in any way that she is way way more likely to do it under the guise of doing it for you. That way if anything goes wrong she can blame you and you can’t as easily throw it in her face if you suddenly regret your/her actions. So don’t be afraid to ask her to try it for you and do it to please you while hopefully enjoying the sex for herself as well instead of the usual pathetic I want it only for your pleasure bs because that is really not true anyways, you are the one who wants this so accept that and admit it.

About the sex and not wanting to have it with you. That doesn’t sound good. I don’t think swinging is a relationship saver, you need a pretty sound relationship to do this. She may just be saying that so you back off, to put some doubt in your head, maybe she just wants you to be super sure or maybe she doesn’t like having sex with you and she already knows it. She might be making sure you can really handle the reality. The thing about some men is they say they want this but the reality is they can’t emotionally handle it, so if you are weak minded, jealous or the angry type this is not for you. No one wants to do this to turn their husband on then have to console or fight with the same idiot who asked for it. It’s a valid concern. I have sex with my husband after every encounter. This is something we do as a couple, even if I play alone. We don’t do chastity cages or denial that is its own side fetish. Every cpl is different and once you start it evolves and won’t play out exactly like you planned either, for better or worse.

So you need to talk a lot more about it. Talk about it seriously, like not hot bedroom forplay talk. You need to figure out why the two of you are not having sex now. If she is not into sex now what makes you think she wants a boyfriend on the side? Obviously somethings going on there? You must address all her concerns and you must be 100% sure you can handle it and won’t regret it as soon as you blow your load. This will not be a one conversion thing but you have already started the convo so the hard part is done

Finding another sexual partner to fix a marriage has disaster written all over it.
Sounds like she is open to a sexual relationship. Just not necessarily with you.
So your journey into cuckdom will be something you will have to accept and live with.

 

[WellHungBull9]

Finding another sexual partner to fix a marriage has disaster written all over it.
Sounds like she is open to a sexual relationship. Just not necessarily with you.
So your journey into cuckdom will be something you will have to accept and live with.

Why do you think "Finding another sexual partner to fix a marriage has disaster written all over it."
She needs and craves to be fucked by a man better that he can. If he couldn't fix the plumbing in the house because he wasn't good at it, wouldn't he be a good husband to support and help find someone who can?

 

[keylife022]

Why do you think "Finding another sexual partner to fix a marriage has disaster written all over it."
She needs and craves to be fucked by a man better that he can. If he couldn't fix the plumbing in the house because he wasn't good at it, wouldn't he be a good husband to support and help find someone who can?

The tone sounds like there’s more to this. They aren’t sexual but she is open to having another.
Sounds like something else is missing.

 

[WellHungBull9]

The tone sounds like there’s more to this. They aren’t sexual but she is open to having another.
Sounds like something else is missing.

Hmmm interesting point on tone. I get your point. But not wanting to fuck her possibly average dick fat sucks at sex husband I don't think by itself says there is a problem in the marriage. But yes great great point in his tone and maybe there is more.

 

[Redman69]

The tone sounds like there’s more to this. They aren’t sexual but she is open to having another.
Sounds like something else is missing.

Good observation, but to be fair she has said shes bored with our sex life. Ive worked hard to try to fix the boredom by trying new thing and new places, but as time passes, it just seems she wants it less. Im not small by any means but things do work much better when its exciting on my end too. I want to try and put a spark into our relationship and thought this might be a good option. Like I mentioned previously Im not going to push because I want her to be intrested in trying something new and not because she feels forced

 

[Redman69]

First I think someone has to push and want it more as it is a big step outside of a monogamous couples comfort zone, usually the husband. So I wouldn’t feel too bad about that. She still has free will and can say no, which you must respect. I have found that all the cuck type guys I’ve chatted with that are into this want their wife to suddenly become a wonton cock craving slut and want this for solely to fulfill her insatiable craving for huge cock. That is not going to just happen suddenly. I think she is interested in any way that she is way way more likely to do it under the guise of doing it for you. That way if anything goes wrong she can blame you and you can’t as easily throw it in her face if you suddenly regret your/her actions. So don’t be afraid to ask her to try it for you and do it to please you while hopefully enjoying the sex for herself as well instead of the usual pathetic I want it only for your pleasure bs because that is really not true anyways, you are the one who wants this so accept that and admit it.

About the sex and not wanting to have it with you. That doesn’t sound good. I don’t think swinging is a relationship saver, you need a pretty sound relationship to do this. She may just be saying that so you back off, to put some doubt in your head, maybe she just wants you to be super sure or maybe she doesn’t like having sex with you and she already knows it. She might be making sure you can really handle the reality. The thing about some men is they say they want this but the reality is they can’t emotionally handle it, so if you are weak minded, jealous or the angry type this is not for you. No one wants to do this to turn their husband on then have to console or fight with the same idiot who asked for it. It’s a valid concern. I have sex with my husband after every encounter. This is something we do as a couple, even if I play alone. We don’t do chastity cages or denial that is its own side fetish. Every cpl is different and once you start it evolves and won’t play out exactly like you planned either, for better or worse.

So you need to talk a lot more about it. Talk about it seriously, like not hot bedroom forplay talk. You need to figure out why the two of you are not having sex now. If she is not into sex now what makes you think she wants a boyfriend on the side? Obviously somethings going on there? You must address all her concerns and you must be 100% sure you can handle it and won’t regret it as soon as you blow your load. This will not be a one conversion thing but you have already started the convo so the hard part is done

Good points, but to be honest I do ask and wait to see if she shows an interest. If she ask questions or comments what I asked, them I can have confidence shes truely think about it as a possibility. Ive been down this lifestyle with my Ex and have experience, so this wouldnt be my first rodeo. However, I have learned a lot more from the previous experience and havent shared that this with my wife. The situation and experience was fine with me and I found it super exciting and really didnt have any serious issues on my end. So personally Ive experienced the reality but dont want to share that with her. She is an older traditional type wife and has expressed that this is strange for her. I respect her opinion and based on her comment, might be the main issue thats stopping her from proceeding. So I believe the issue wont be with me although she may not be aware of this because I havent shared.

 

[keylife022]

Good observation, but to be fair she has said shes bored with our sex life. Ive worked hard to try to fix the boredom by trying new thing and new places, but as time passes, it just seems she wants it less. Im not small by any means but things do work much better when its exciting on my end too. I want to try and put a spark into our relationship and thought this might be a good option. Like I mentioned previously Im not going to push because I want her to be intrested in trying something new and not because she feels forced

You are trying things YOU want. Not necessarily what SHE wants.

Good observation, but to be fair she has said shes bored with our sex life. Ive worked hard to try to fix the boredom by trying new thing and new places, but as time passes, it just seems she wants it less. Im not small by any means but things do work much better when its exciting on my end too. I want to try and put a spark into our relationship and thought this might be a good option. Like I mentioned previously Im not going to push because I want her to be intrested in trying something new and not because she feels forced

 

[communalspoonin]

Every one will be different, but I can also vouch that my sex-life with my wife has improved dramatically since we got into this lifestyle. She always was a bit submissive to me in general, but now that I let her have a bull, she's a complete sub to me -- let's me dom her and do anything I want to her. I get to reclaim her after she sees her bull or even after she goes on a date with another man, and maybe because she feels a little guilty about it all, she basically let's me do anything to her.

I get to completely dom her, share her, and train her (throat training is my absolute favorite) to be my submissive, obedient slut wife. Reclaiming her has been some of the best sex ever, and it's all thanks to this lifestyle.

 

[Redman69]

Well thought out response. I say something that I bet a lot of us think sometimes "swinging is not a relationship saver". As I think about it though I'm not sure that is true. The reality is average dick produces average quality sex and that's not enjoyable. No amount of romance, care, love, communication can change that. I think so many marriages fail and even more only stick together out of inertia, because they don't accept that to change things they need to change things.

Real Bulls bring married couples closer together. While I think most marriages, if not virtually all, would do better with a Bull in their life. That most homes would do better to have that big cock Bull energy in their house, I don't think sadly a Bull can make up for poor communication and real presence/connection within a marriage. So can the lifestyle save a marriage? Absolutely. Can it make up for bad communication?... Wait actually ya know, it can't "make up for it", but having a Bull, especially a real Bull, in your marriage, can really help open the lines of communication. Either because he's a good friend of you both, or merely by his presence and involvement, can call for great communication to surface.

You are absolutely right, this lifestyle is not a relationship saver! Completely agree from others that good communication and a strong relationship foundation is a must. I believe we have that except when it comes to making love or having sex. Being bored seems to be her most prominent point. Now to be honest, I have tried for a while now to change it up as well as try new places and new things. This didnt seem to help after trying for quite a while. Just want to consider the option but do it with care so not to push her into this change.

 

[Redman69]

You are trying things YOU want. Not necessarily what SHE wants.

Im not sure where you made that conclusion from in my comments. Therefore, I will just consider this conjecture on your part. However, all I have tried has been predominantly for her. This is in regards to places styles and ideas.

 

[WellHungBull9]

Every one will be different, but I can also vouch that my sex-life with my wife has improved dramatically since we got into this lifestyle. She always was a bit submissive to me in general, but now that I let her have a bull, she's a complete sub to me -- let's me dom her and do anything I want to her. I get to reclaim her after she sees her bull or even after she goes on a date with another man, and maybe because she feels a little guilty about it all, she basically let's me do anything to her.

I get to completely dom her, share her, and train her (throat training is my absolute favorite) to be my submissive, obedient slut wife. Reclaiming her has been some of the best sex ever, and it's all thanks to this lifestyle.

Damn right. More marriages shoudl share the wife with other men. Quality men. And that will do great things for the marriage.

 

[keylife022]

Im not sure where you made that conclusion from in my comments. Therefore, I will just consider this conjecture on your part. However, all I have tried has been predominantly for her. This is in regards to places styles and ideas.

It is conjecture. And I have no doubt everything you have tried has been FOR her.
Seems that SOMETHING is missing if you are not getting the results you are hoping for.

 

[Redman69]

Im sure having sex during 2 years of dating and 16 going on 17 years of marriage can mellow out a sex life. To be clear, we do have sex but not near as often unless I initiate. Thinking this lifesytle might create a spark.

 

[JMNBABE]

There is no doubt that when she initially begins a relationship with a new Lover(s), that she IS going to want sex with him more frequently and more intensely with him than she does you. Any new toy gets the most attention. It doesn't mean she won't want you at all, but he/they are very likely to be primary in her desires for a while. At some point, THEY may make the decision that she should be totally faithful to him and there will be very little you can do about this other than be patient and recognize this is part of the deal you negotiated. Women tend to me monogamus in their sexual relationships.

There are options to "not wanting you"......she can take care of your sexual needs by encouraging you to jack off more frequently, by allowing you clean up duties while you jack off, maybe putting you on "condom only" with her where you still get to have intercourse, but are not allowed to cum in her, that would be reserved for his sperm exclusively. She can also jack you off with comdoms on so your sperm doesn't actually touch her while she is faithful to her Lover.

But REST ASSURED, there WILL be some level of this occur initially, and likely every time she takes a new Lover simply because the excitement of a new Lover is SO enitcing, especially when you dirst get staarted in this lifestyle. Assure her you are OK with that as long as she keeps you in the loop with their relationship. She has to be comfortable moving from fantasy to reality. Only you can make that happen.

CW

 

[pande75]

So the wifes and I sex life has been rather boring after being together for sixteen years.. Intrest in sex has dropped so we started to incorporate the hotwife fantasy in to our sexual activities a few years ago. However, on the occasion we discuss making the fantasy a reality, she seems to have concerns. Like many here have mentioned, I want her to come to the decision to enter into this lifestyle, not be pressured by me. That is why trying this lifestyle has been a long process. For the most part Ive been able to counter her questions with reasonable answers. However, her latest question left me pondering a good answer. The question was "what happens if I dont want sex with you anymore after being with someone else". It seemed like a reasonable question. My answer, while a poor one, was that I still want to have sex with her but we arent having much currently anyways. I looked at this experience as a way of renewing interest in our sex life not killing it completely.
Is it common to have the wife lose complete intrest in sex with her husband while experiencing the hotwife lifestyle? For you that did experience this situation, how did you handle it with your wifes? Is there something else I need to consider? Any thoughts on this subject would be helpful and appreciated.

Hi,
I cuckolded my husband for the first time about 8months ago, still seeing Matt now, while me and Paul (husband) still have sex it’s much much less and to be honest, I want it less from him, I try to give him a handjob to make him cum so it doesn’t lead to sex, so yes it may well go that way, it’s not something I expected but it has.

 

[Redman69]

Hi,
I cuckolded my husband for the first time about 8months ago, still seeing Matt now, while me and Paul (husband) still have sex it’s much much less and to be honest, I want it less from him, I try to give him a handjob to make him cum so it doesn’t lead to sex, so yes it may well go that way, it’s not something I expected but it has.

So how often were you having sex before you met up with Matt?

 

[Redman69]

There is no doubt that when she initially begins a relationship with a new Lover(s), that she IS going to want sex with him more frequently and more intensely with him than she does you. Any new toy gets the most attention. It doesn't mean she won't want you at all, but he/they are very likely to be primary in her desires for a while. At some point, THEY may make the decision that she should be totally faithful to him and there will be very little you can do about this other than be patient and recognize this is part of the deal you negotiated. Women tend to me monogamus in their sexual relationships.

There are options to "not wanting you"......she can take care of your sexual needs by encouraging you to jack off more frequently, by allowing you clean up duties while you jack off, maybe putting you on "condom only" with her where you still get to have intercourse, but are not allowed to cum in her, that would be reserved for his sperm exclusively. She can also jack you off with comdoms on so your sperm doesn't actually touch her while she is faithful to her Lover.

But REST ASSURED, there WILL be some level of this occur initially, and likely every time she takes a new Lover simply because the excitement of a new Lover is SO enitcing, especially when you dirst get staarted in this lifestyle. Assure her you are OK with that as long as she keeps you in the loop with their relationship. She has to be comfortable moving from fantasy to reality. Only you can make that happen.

CW

I thought was to never have them see someone too often so they dont get attached?

I tend to see two theories. One is they date and carry on a relationship. The second is they hit it and quit it. The wife has expressed not wanting a relationship. However that can very easily change.
But to be fair, I can see the sense of thrill drive her do things see wouldnt normally do when with someone.

 

[pande75]

So how often were you having sex before you met up with Matt?

Once or twice a week

 

[Redman69]

It looks like the wife is intrested in trying out the experience. Shes a bit nervous, so we may have to start by phone or KIK first for her to feel comfortable. She has come to her own decision to try the experience and seems a bit excited. She has been voluntarily pointing out guys she finds sexy so I have an idea what she finds attractive. She in the process of finding some sexy clothing so we can take pictures however this seems to be taking a while because of our busy lives. All in all, it seems we are heading in the right direction or seem to be at this point.

 

[werekinky2]

So the wifes and I sex life has been rather boring after being together for sixteen years.. Intrest in sex has dropped so we started to incorporate the hotwife fantasy in to our sexual activities a few years ago. However, on the occasion we discuss making the fantasy a reality, she seems to have concerns. Like many here have mentioned, I want her to come to the decision to enter into this lifestyle, not be pressured by me. That is why trying this lifestyle has been a long process. For the most part Ive been able to counter her questions with reasonable answers. However, her latest question left me pondering a good answer. The question was "what happens if I dont want sex with you anymore after being with someone else". It seemed like a reasonable question. My answer, while a poor one, was that I still want to have sex with her but we arent having much currently anyways. I looked at this experience as a way of renewing interest in our sex life not killing it completely.
Is it common to have the wife lose complete intrest in sex with her husband while experiencing the hotwife lifestyle? For you that did experience this situation, how did you handle it with your wifes? Is there something else I need to consider? Any thoughts on this subject would be helpful and appreciated.

With our experience. After my wife fucked someone else she had a nice little glow in her she still loves having sex with me that didn’t change sometimes we would talk about her fucking him before we would have sex and she would get pretty wet .