Hotwife Question

[Redman69]

So the wifes and I sex life has been rather boring after being together for sixteen years.. Intrest in sex has dropped so we started to incorporate the hotwife fantasy in to our sexual activities a few years ago. However, on the occasion we discuss making the fantasy a reality, she seems to have concerns. Like many here have mentioned, I want her to come to the decision to enter into this lifestyle, not be pressured by me. That is why trying this lifestyle has been a long process. For the most part Ive been able to counter her questions with reasonable answers. However, her latest question left me pondering a good answer. The question was "what happens if I dont want sex with you anymore after being with someone else". It seemed like a reasonable question. My answer, while a poor one, was that I still want to have sex with her but we arent having much currently anyways. I looked at this experience as a way of renewing interest in our sex life not killing it completely.
Is it common to have the wife lose complete intrest in sex with her husband while experiencing the hotwife lifestyle? For you that did experience this situation, how did you handle it with your wifes? Is there something else I need to consider? Any thoughts on this subject would be helpful and appreciated.

 

[dickhurtz]

great question.

 

[SmallHubbyTexas]

I am not sure how common it is but it happened to me. My cock has not been in my wife’s pussy for over four years. Am I sad about that, yes. However I am enjoying this journey we are taking. My wife caged me and I love it. In fact, when it is off, I feel funny and incomplete and wanted it back on.

I love watching my wife have sex with her boyfriends and having my cock cry in its cage the whole time.

I still get to cum, just not by her pussy. I get to masturbate with her watching, she will give me handjobs and blowjobs. Her favorite is pegging me and making me cum in my cage that way.

Overall I am happy even though I have not had my cock in my wife’s pussy for years.

 

[615blackstag]

Well that hasn't happened with me. Is that something you would be fine with? Could you just eat pussy and make it wet for the bull personally I would have to have sex. She has told me enough for her but she does like having strange at times. It's up to you my man since you introduced it. That's the thing I see a lot of people on here talking about it but can you handle it that shows how much of a man you are. Have to have boundaries make it a joint agreement.

 

[Sgt Ray]

Well that hasn't happened with me. Is that something you would be fine with? Could you just eat pussy and make it wet for the bull personally I would have to have sex. She has told me enough for her but she does like having strange at times. It's up to you my man since you introduced it. That's the thing I see a lot of people on here talking about it but can you handle it that shows how much of a man you are. Have to have boundaries make it a joint agreement.

Well said.....

 

[Redman69]

Well that hasn't happened with me. Is that something you would be fine with? Could you just eat pussy and make it wet for the bull personally I would have to have sex. She has told me enough for her but she does like having strange at times. It's up to you my man since you introduced it. That's the thing I see a lot of people on here talking about it but can you handle it that shows how much of a man you are. Have to have boundaries make it

Im a bit on the fence. Not sure if I could give it up without having the experience first. Im thinking theres no turning back after taking that first step.

 

[GoodTimes40]

I had a Toyota Camry for years, thing was just bullet proof. Treated me good, few repairs, great gas mileage. I eventually bought a second car, a Jeep wrangler. I love the Jeep, doors and top come off. I can go off-roading a bit when I have time. I’ve owned like 5 jeeps for random periods of time. They are fun.

I don’t daily drive the jeep though bc it’s annoying and I still daily drive my Toyota.

 

[VixenCoupleTN]

You are correct in letting her run at her speed. However, her assumption that she won't want to have sex with you anymore is mostly just jitters. I can tell you having been a hotwife for a while that my interest in sex with my husband has mulitiplied because of this lifestyle. It's like having a shiny new toy that you want to share. I learn a lot from my men that i have over and then it spurs me on to try new things with my husband. It really opens up comminication with your spouse. I mean, how can you have any secrets after your husband helps guide someone elses cock into you ! LOL !

So try to calm your wife by letting her know it's ok to have other men as it will probably end up strenthening your realtionship as it has for so many of us. As a bonus my husband would almost rather watch me with another man as to do it himself. Just a facet of this lifestyle. We are both extremely happy with our relationship.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

So the wifes and I sex life has been rather boring after being together for sixteen years.. Intrest in sex has dropped so we started to incorporate the hotwife fantasy in to our sexual activities a few years ago. However, on the occasion we discuss making the fantasy a reality, she seems to have concerns. Like many here have mentioned, I want her to come to the decision to enter into this lifestyle, not be pressured by me. That is why trying this lifestyle has been a long process. For the most part Ive been able to counter her questions with reasonable answers. However, her latest question left me pondering a good answer. The question was "what happens if I dont want sex with you anymore after being with someone else". It seemed like a reasonable question. My answer, while a poor one, was that I still want to have sex with her but we arent having much currently anyways. I looked at this experience as a way of renewing interest in our sex life not killing it completely.
Is it common to have the wife lose complete intrest in sex with her husband while experiencing the hotwife lifestyle? For you that did experience this situation, how did you handle it with your wifes? Is there something else I need to consider? Any thoughts on this subject would be helpful and appreciated.

your new job will be to lick her pussy clean whether she wants your cock again or not.

 

[Garrett]

You are correct in letting her run at her speed. However, her assumption that she won't want to have sex with you anymore is mostly just jitters. I can tell you having been a hotwife for a while that my interest in sex with my husband has mulitiplied because of this lifestyle. It's like having a shiny new toy that you want to share. I learn a lot from my men that i have over and then it spurs me on to try new things with my husband. It really opens up comminication with your spouse. I mean, how can you have any secrets after your husband helps guide someone elses cock into you ! LOL !

So try to calm your wife by letting her know it's ok to have other men as it will probably end up strenthening your realtionship as it has for so many of us. As a bonus my husband would almost rather watch me with another man as to do it himself. Just a facet of this lifestyle. We are both extremely happy with our relationship.

Like my cock? Your post made me hard.

 

[dickhurtz]

I had a Toyota Camry for years, thing was just bullet proof. Treated me good, few repairs, great gas mileage. I eventually bought a second car, a Jeep wrangler. I love the Jeep, doors and top come off. I can go off-roading a bit when I have time. I’ve owned like 5 jeeps for random periods of time. They are fun.

I don’t daily drive the jeep though bc it’s annoying and I still daily drive my Toyota.

nice analogy.

 

[Zdietz53]

I have to imagine this is a pretty common concern as it was one of the main ones my wife brought up when she was seriously starting to think about a more physically intimate relationship with the guy she’s currently seeing.

I obviously didn’t know the answer at the time, but after a couple years, I can say that her general interest in sex is so much higher than it was before she had this relationship outside the marriage. While a lot of this new interest does go to the benefit of her new man, I definitely saw an uptick in the amount of intimacy she wanted with me as well.

Hope it works out for you!

 

[keylife022]

So the wifes and I sex life has been rather boring after being together for sixteen years.. Intrest in sex has dropped so we started to incorporate the hotwife fantasy in to our sexual activities a few years ago. However, on the occasion we discuss making the fantasy a reality, she seems to have concerns. Like many here have mentioned, I want her to come to the decision to enter into this lifestyle, not be pressured by me. That is why trying this lifestyle has been a long process. For the most part Ive been able to counter her questions with reasonable answers. However, her latest question left me pondering a good answer. The question was "what happens if I dont want sex with you anymore after being with someone else". It seemed like a reasonable question. My answer, while a poor one, was that I still want to have sex with her but we arent having much currently anyways. I looked at this experience as a way of renewing interest in our sex life not killing it completely.
Is it common to have the wife lose complete intrest in sex with her husband while experiencing the hotwife lifestyle? For you that did experience this situation, how did you handle it with your wifes? Is there something else I need to consider? Any thoughts on this subject would be helpful and appreciated.

It certainly can happen and you may have to accept that possibility.
The right answer may be it’s a risk you may have to take.

 

[Redman69]

I have to imagine this is a pretty common concern as it was one of the main ones my wife brought up when she was seriously starting to think about a more physically intimate relationship with the guy she’s currently seeing.

I obviously didn’t know the answer at the time, but after a couple years, I can say that her general interest in sex is so much higher than it was before she had this relationship outside the marriage. While a lot of this new interest does go to the benefit of her new man, I definitely saw an uptick in the amount of intimacy she wanted with me as well.

Hope it works out for you!

Hoping to see the uptick rather than the opposite. Thinking now that shes expressed interest in the experience, it sounds more like a risk Im willing to take.

 

[Zdietz53]

I looked at my wife’s situation as a “rising tide lifts all ships” type thing. Hope it’s the same for you.

 

[Redman69]

I looked at my wife’s situation as a “rising tide lifts all ships” type thing. Hope it’s the same for you.

Getting the wife to take the first step, has proven to be a difficult one. She seems intrested in bed but seems to wane after that and seems to pull back to her safe position.

 

[Zdietz53]

Getting the wife to take the first step, has proven to be a difficult one. She seems intrested in bed but seems to wane after that and seems to pull back to her safe position.

For us, it was honestly a lot of dumb luck. My wife and I did do a lot of the pre-work needed to be comfortable in our marriage but it still required countless things outside our control to go right for my wife to actually start seeing another guy. Wish I had some advice, but truly just first time luck for us.

 

[GoodTimes40]

nice analogy.

That’s it, you have to understand that you need to have a solid durable relationship that is great but isn’t everything bc you just can’t be. If you feel that the wife needs something fun every now again, well heck see if that works. Am I getting my wife a Camry that is just better all around…lol hell no.

 

[widowedcuck]

My wife looked forward to the reclamation. We both loved going over the details and the nuances a new partner brings.

 

[WellHungBull9]

First I think someone has to push and want it more as it is a big step outside of a monogamous couples comfort zone, usually the husband. So I wouldn’t feel too bad about that. She still has free will and can say no, which you must respect. I have found that all the cuck type guys I’ve chatted with that are into this want their wife to suddenly become a wonton cock craving slut and want this for solely to fulfill her insatiable craving for huge cock. That is not going to just happen suddenly. I think she is interested in any way that she is way way more likely to do it under the guise of doing it for you. That way if anything goes wrong she can blame you and you can’t as easily throw it in her face if you suddenly regret your/her actions. So don’t be afraid to ask her to try it for you and do it to please you while hopefully enjoying the sex for herself as well instead of the usual pathetic I want it only for your pleasure bs because that is really not true anyways, you are the one who wants this so accept that and admit it.

About the sex and not wanting to have it with you. That doesn’t sound good. I don’t think swinging is a relationship saver, you need a pretty sound relationship to do this. She may just be saying that so you back off, to put some doubt in your head, maybe she just wants you to be super sure or maybe she doesn’t like having sex with you and she already knows it. She might be making sure you can really handle the reality. The thing about some men is they say they want this but the reality is they can’t emotionally handle it, so if you are weak minded, jealous or the angry type this is not for you. No one wants to do this to turn their husband on then have to console or fight with the same idiot who asked for it. It’s a valid concern. I have sex with my husband after every encounter. This is something we do as a couple, even if I play alone. We don’t do chastity cages or denial that is its own side fetish. Every cpl is different and once you start it evolves and won’t play out exactly like you planned either, for better or worse.

So you need to talk a lot more about it. Talk about it seriously, like not hot bedroom forplay talk. You need to figure out why the two of you are not having sex now. If she is not into sex now what makes you think she wants a boyfriend on the side? Obviously somethings going on there? You must address all her concerns and you must be 100% sure you can handle it and won’t regret it as soon as you blow your load. This will not be a one conversion thing but you have already started the convo so the hard part is done

Well thought out response. I say something that I bet a lot of us think sometimes "swinging is not a relationship saver". As I think about it though I'm not sure that is true. The reality is average dick produces average quality sex and that's not enjoyable. No amount of romance, care, love, communication can change that. I think so many marriages fail and even more only stick together out of inertia, because they don't accept that to change things they need to change things.

Real Bulls bring married couples closer together. While I think most marriages, if not virtually all, would do better with a Bull in their life. That most homes would do better to have that big cock Bull energy in their house, I don't think sadly a Bull can make up for poor communication and real presence/connection within a marriage. So can the lifestyle save a marriage? Absolutely. Can it make up for bad communication?... Wait actually ya know, it can't "make up for it", but having a Bull, especially a real Bull, in your marriage, can really help open the lines of communication. Either because he's a good friend of you both, or merely by his presence and involvement, can call for great communication to surface.