Thank you, good advice, I should of put in my post I am not looking to cheat I want him to be a part of this, I'm just not sure how to make it a reality.
You have three options:
One is to keep this as your fantasy, and never act on it.
A second is to act on it only in a virtual way. To post on here, to sex chat, maybe photos or videos.
A third is to act on it in real life.
Each of those can be done a) with his inclusion, and b) each can be done by cheating. Or, if he is aware, but not interested, c) each could be done with him being aware and ok with it but not with him involved in any way.
1: fantasy
a) including him: you talk about it and fantasise about it together to spice up your sex life.
b) most people would say this isn't really cheating, but you keep it as your secret masturbation fantasy.
c) you talk to him about it, he isn't interested, and it is your masturbation fantasy.
2: virtual
a) you post photos or get involved in personal chats on here, but you have talked about it and you show him. Maybe he encourages you, maybe he joins in with some of the chats.
b) you post photos or get involved in personal chats on here, but keep it secret from him.
c) he knows that you post photos or chat with people on here, but doesn't care and isn't interested.
3: real life
a) you have talked about it, and find yourself a lover. He finds it exciting and likes you talking about it, or seeing you prepare for dates. Maybe he wants to watch you with lovers. Or he wants you to come back and "rub his face in it" as you describe.
b) you take a lover, but keep it secret.
c) you have talked about it. He says that it is your body and your choice, but he doesn't want anything to do with it.
This is where it gets interesting...
You say that you don't want to cheat.
You say that he isn't interested in sex with you.
Your fantasy involves you having an enthusiastic and appreciative lover, and then "rubbing his face in it".
The heart of this, it seems to me, is that you want to feel appreciated and sexy, and want to have a stimulating and fun sex life. And if he doesn't make you feel sexy, you want to prove to him that you are.
If I could offer you your boyfriend taking you for dinner tomorrow night and saying:
"I have really messed up. I have allowed other things to become more important than showing how much you mean to me. Can we go to a sex therapist so that I can get help to find ways to prioritise making you feel amazing about yourself?"
Would you take that, and be able to drop this?
Or would you not be able to? You really do want to explore and experiment. You want to try things.
If the second, then it seems to me that a big part of what you are getting at here is proving to him that you are attractive and desired.
Cheating doesn't do that. Rule out all the b) answers.
So you have to talk to to him.
If he thinks it is hot, and goes with an a) approach, then you both have a journey ahead.
If he is still not interested and goes for c) then you need to question whether he is the man for you. Or you may think "OK, we are not sexually compatible, and he is ok with me finding that elsewhere, but other areas of our life are worth keeping this relationship going for."
If he goes ballistic and says "How dare you?" then you need to question whether he is the man for you and decide pretty quickly that he isn't. You deserve better.
So, as you already know, you need to talk to him. I would start with "Hey, I really need some sex tonight, but if you are too tired for regular sex, how about we talk about our fantasies?" And if he still says no, say "What? You have a hot woman offering to talk dirty and play with herself for you, and you're still not interested? Do you want her to get a lover or something?" See how he reacts. If he flickers, say "Do you? Oh, is that your thing?" And laugh. "OK, let's talk about that tonight!"
That's my thoughts!
People responding to this thread will each make all sorts of projections onto your story of things from their own life. And lots of people may try and steer you towards either virtual cucking, by posting photos, or offering themselves to you as a partner, because of what they can get out of it.
Others of us, like me, may really want to see you naked, because the clothed photo you have as your avatar shows that you have an amazing pair of breasts, and so over-compensate against themselves and steer you in a different direction!
Did I mention that I think you are hot and have amazing breasts? You are and you do!
Have a great life, and don't waste your young days!
