Sorry for my bad English
To make a long story short: I had a first marriage with cuckolding; it ended with confessing of my ex to me that she had asked her lover to marry her.
We all know it: once a cuck, always a cuck - in our head.
So I told myself, after I had a few longer friendships behind me and it never came to my desired lifestyle, I will say at the beginning of the next friendship that I want a cuck-marriage. I had done the same with my current wife; it is crucial that we got married because my wife did not say NO out loud.
However, when we were married, after the first few months of bliss, I brought up my sexual preference again. And suddenly there his was NO!
Well, in the meantime she had probably had 2 boyfriends briefly, but I still feel cheated!