Looking for a bit of help, new maybe hotwife

Chloee

Female
Jun 30, 2022
4
10
3
Hello,

I'm looking for a few advices.
I'm 29 living with my boyfriend Alex who's 36, we have been together for 3 years but we know each other since we were young, we always were best friends, we both dated on our own but found each other in the end.

More than a few month ago, i accidently found out, maybe on purpose, that he watched a lot of hotwife and cuckolding stuff.
We had a talk and he tried to explained to me, as i always try to stay open minded i did not felt angry, but rather lost and clueless, and we dropped the dicussion..
The next day i searched online to find similar feedback from woman in the same position, well i can say that i found more than i thought...

I went from lost, to curious.
I found some comprehensive and very usefull resources in between forums and podcast and i have to admit i have been surprised by the deepness of those lifestyle and the power granted to the wife or hotwife.
After enough reading and listening i learned a lot and most of the kinks ans practices.

I had an other conversation with my boyfriend on the subject, and made it clear he should not feel guilty for it, tood him i made my research and also that i "might" be ok to try it with him.
He seemed relieved and happy, but when i asked him what he wanted me to do he could not answer, even if i have an idea by the memories of what i found.

Sorry if i'm long, but as i said i have a few questions...

I'm absolutely super shy (we both are), and i would never dare to approach another men to flirt, i read a lot of hotwives feedback going to bars to flirt but i can't...

I'm concerned about the perception change of my boyfriend after that, i know it is fetish for some but, if you look out for better a better (sexual) lover on purpose, how do you deal with seeing your boyfriend/husband as subpar after that. I don't talk about love and feelings, only the sexual aspect.

Is it better to go for one night stand or find a regular ?
One night stand might be easier but i would kinda little more a strong and durable connection.

I did not explained all of it to him yet, but for now i kind of feel attracted by the psycological aspect of the experience, control, teasing him, sexual tension and also the symbolism (visually and by the meanings).

For hotwives having a man who is not very talkative or shy on this kind of subject, how do you move forward ?
Or husbands what do you prefer ?
Do you go slowly making sure he follow along or do you lead and let him keep up ?
 
We're mid 50s. Not swingers, conservative as hell. About 5 years ago we got into mfm fun with a guy we know. My very normal wife turns into a fuck slut when he's with us. We do her every way you can imagine for 2 to 3 hours. We take turns doing her and some nights she just can't get enough.
Befor I was married or even knew her I hooked up with super shy, (some were) married women. All I can say is some women are nasty freaks in private. My wife included.
I have no ideas on how to find an extra guy but if you're at all like so many women sex with 2 ...or more...guys us probably in your mind even if you won't admit it out loud.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Klondikebar864
Thx for your experience, to clarify, i'm introverted and shy mostly with people and situations i don't know enough, i'm not shy nor prude at all with my boyfriend, in our relation or in bed
 
  • Like
Reactions: Charger84
Thx for your experience, to clarify, i'm introverted and shy mostly with people and situations i don't know enough, i'm not shy nor prude at all with my boyfriend, in our relation or in bed
Do you fantasize about having a 3rd with you while you are fucking your husband ? That's the way it started with us. Ms. Insatiable loves anal sex and as she would sit on top of me I would slide a dildo in her ass while asking if she wished that was a real one. Later on it evolved to watching her get fucked by multiple guys at once.

We love this lifestyle !
 
With Loridan it looks like you both started with a somewhat similar taste.
For the few experiences i had, I'm not really fond of anal, never done it with 2 men but it is not something very high on my list.
I rather fully concentrate on one.

But i understand that it was a bridge toward the rest.

Here it is more of my boyfriend's kink, i read and learned and have to admit i got somewhat hooked by the experiences i heard.
I'm just struggling to start or experiment as my boyfriend is not really leading and more of waiting for me to make it happen and show the way, despite being his idea at first...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hardp789
I believe you need to be very patient.
Sometimes, man fantasizes and watches videos of something even though it doesn't come true.
I'm exactly at that stage and I still don't have the courage to take the next step.

That doesn't mean I never will.

Anyway, I think watching porn together with him is a good start. Be very careful and gradually test the limits by comparing what he likes to watch alone with what he likes with you. He may be uncomfortable with this, and at this point, you have to backtrack a little and then move forward again. Be cautious!

Probably, with time, the distance between the erotic contents will become smaller and hotter conversations will arise at the time of sex.

Remember that this is a great revolution in your lives and it has to be done very calmly.

This is just my personal idea. It's not a universal truth and it could be wrong in your relationship.

*The text may contain errors because I am not fluent in English.
 
Hello,

I'm looking for a few advices.
I'm 29 living with my boyfriend Alex who's 36, we have been together for 3 years but we know each other since we were young, we always were best friends, we both dated on our own but found each other in the end.

More than a few month ago, i accidently found out, maybe on purpose, that he watched a lot of hotwife and cuckolding stuff.
We had a talk and he tried to explained to me, as i always try to stay open minded i did not felt angry, but rather lost and clueless, and we dropped the dicussion..
The next day i searched online to find similar feedback from woman in the same position, well i can say that i found more than i thought...

I went from lost, to curious.
I found some comprehensive and very usefull resources in between forums and podcast and i have to admit i have been surprised by the deepness of those lifestyle and the power granted to the wife or hotwife.
After enough reading and listening i learned a lot and most of the kinks ans practices.

I had an other conversation with my boyfriend on the subject, and made it clear he should not feel guilty for it, tood him i made my research and also that i "might" be ok to try it with him.
He seemed relieved and happy, but when i asked him what he wanted me to do he could not answer, even if i have an idea by the memories of what i found.

Sorry if i'm long, but as i said i have a few questions...

I'm absolutely super shy (we both are), and i would never dare to approach another men to flirt, i read a lot of hotwives feedback going to bars to flirt but i can't...

I'm concerned about the perception change of my boyfriend after that, i know it is fetish for some but, if you look out for better a better (sexual) lover on purpose, how do you deal with seeing your boyfriend/husband as subpar after that. I don't talk about love and feelings, only the sexual aspect.

Is it better to go for one night stand or find a regular ?
One night stand might be easier but i would kinda little more a strong and durable connection.

I did not explained all of it to him yet, but for now i kind of feel attracted by the psycological aspect of the experience, control, teasing him, sexual tension and also the symbolism (visually and by the meanings).

For hotwives having a man who is not very talkative or shy on this kind of subject, how do you move forward ?
Or husbands what do you prefer ?
Do you go slowly making sure he follow along or do you lead and let him keep up ?
You just offer, the rest will be easy
 
Hello,

I'm looking for a few advices.
I'm 29 living with my boyfriend Alex who's 36, we have been together for 3 years but we know each other since we were young, we always were best friends, we both dated on our own but found each other in the end.

More than a few month ago, i accidently found out, maybe on purpose, that he watched a lot of hotwife and cuckolding stuff.
We had a talk and he tried to explained to me, as i always try to stay open minded i did not felt angry, but rather lost and clueless, and we dropped the dicussion..
The next day i searched online to find similar feedback from woman in the same position, well i can say that i found more than i thought...

I went from lost, to curious.
I found some comprehensive and very usefull resources in between forums and podcast and i have to admit i have been surprised by the deepness of those lifestyle and the power granted to the wife or hotwife.
After enough reading and listening i learned a lot and most of the kinks ans practices.

I had an other conversation with my boyfriend on the subject, and made it clear he should not feel guilty for it, tood him i made my research and also that i "might" be ok to try it with him.
He seemed relieved and happy, but when i asked him what he wanted me to do he could not answer, even if i have an idea by the memories of what i found.

Sorry if i'm long, but as i said i have a few questions...

I'm absolutely super shy (we both are), and i would never dare to approach another men to flirt, i read a lot of hotwives feedback going to bars to flirt but i can't...

I'm concerned about the perception change of my boyfriend after that, i know it is fetish for some but, if you look out for better a better (sexual) lover on purpose, how do you deal with seeing your boyfriend/husband as subpar after that. I don't talk about love and feelings, only the sexual aspect.

Is it better to go for one night stand or find a regular ?
One night stand might be easier but i would kinda little more a strong and durable connection.

I did not explained all of it to him yet, but for now i kind of feel attracted by the psycological aspect of the experience, control, teasing him, sexual tension and also the symbolism (visually and by the meanings).

For hotwives having a man who is not very talkative or shy on this kind of subject, how do you move forward ?
Or husbands what do you prefer ?
Do you go slowly making sure he follow along or do you lead and let him keep up ?
Hi love chat if u like
 
To me it seems that his reluctance to talk about his fetish and him wanting you to take the lead means that he's embarrassed or ashamed about his vision for what he wants to transpire. He's not willing to tell you perhaps because it's a non-traditional male role that he's seeking. One where he's subseviant to you and/or the bull. If your culture is against homosexial contact, he may want to be made to do things by his dominant girlfriend. He doesn't wamt to take the risk of telling you and having it blow up on him, but if he were made to do things, then he always has an excuse.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ChiefMac
I think you are right Wormwood,
At least this is also how i feel it right now, he doesn't fully tell me because of some shame maybe or maybe he is afraid that i would say no and shut it down.

I proposed to him last night to go out in a bar or restaurant nearby and see how it goes, but he prefered we stay where we are, i took the opportunity to try to obtain a few answers.
I asked him if he was still interested in trying it, i specified it was fine in both case, he replied he wanted me to continue. Ok

I asked him if he was still looking at that same kind of content and told me yes.

I asked him what he want to do, i said he don't know, i added if HE wants me to do something special, i said no, do as u want...
The rest was not really useful.

I'm still a bit confused, does he fear i would say no to what i really want, dies he even know how to stand and leave to sort it ou for him, or is he giving me some kind of carte blanche...
 
I think you are right Wormwood,
At least this is also how i feel it right now, he doesn't fully tell me because of some shame maybe or maybe he is afraid that i would say no and shut it down.

I proposed to him last night to go out in a bar or restaurant nearby and see how it goes, but he prefered we stay where we are, i took the opportunity to try to obtain a few answers.
I asked him if he was still interested in trying it, i specified it was fine in both case, he replied he wanted me to continue. Ok

I asked him if he was still looking at that same kind of content and told me yes.

I asked him what he want to do, i said he don't know, i added if HE wants me to do something special, i said no, do as u want...
The rest was not really useful.

I'm still a bit confused, does he fear i would say no to what i really want, dies he even know how to stand and leave to sort it ou for him, or is he giving me some kind of carte blanche...
Your best indication of what he wants is to look at the porn he's been watching. Does it have a FLR element? Is the man "commanded" by his wife to do certain things? Perhaps if you took the reins in other areas of your life, you might gain furhter insight to what makes him click.
Can you get him to do things he's uncomfortable doing because you asked him to do them? Can you make sex with you, or even the promise of seeing your breasts, contingent on him doing something that he finds distasteful? Can you get him to give you foot massages or back massages without htim expecting sex?
If you do more research into what he watches, you may find all your answers there.
Maybe you ask him if he masturbates and express your displeasure over that. Tell him that he should save his orgasms for you. Put him in uncomfortable situations and guage his reaction, Does he get hard? Does he go into subspace? Does he get more subserviant to you after you've been "mean" to him?
So many delicious possibilities.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ChiefMac
Although he sounds like he wants this he is nervous, as are you. Have you considered softer approach to get you both used to another being involved.. such as sharing pictures online or finding a chat room where you can cam with others? Sharing online gives you the security initially and builds your personal confidence as well as him becoming used to seeing others enjoy his wife.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ChiefMac
From your descriptions of his demeanor he sounds more cuck material than stag for a hotwife. Is that your understanding? Is that your desire? Does he play or does he watch? I think you said you would like one at a time, taking turns.
You certainly don't have to give me answers, but you should answer those questions to yourself, before you can give him answers.
You also asked about viewing him as subpar. Different doesn't have to mean better or worse, it can mean just different. New almost always is more exciting, but it isn't automatically better.
 
Hi, I'm the reluctant hotwife who never heard of this fantasy a year ago.. My hubby shared this faithful hotwife book with me and gave me the challenge of getting verified on a hotwife site and make 3 posts on forums. Here I am. I did look ahead and some of the other dares included me posting pics and chat rooms but I'm working up to that.
I'm loving picking out the hotwife challenges to do or have my hubby do for me. We're working through them, but there are alot of them, and we haven't even gotten to the cuckold ones in the back. Those will take alot of nerve on my end to make my hubby perform some of those dares.
I've never done anything like this, my hubby calls me vanilla which I thought because I am blonde. Now I know, but I'm learning and having a fun time. It's all kind of exciting. Hope this helps.