I see a lot of questions on how to get your wife or gf to play with others. I don't have a one size fits all solution, but can share how my sexy wife and I got here.
The Background:
For us, a critical element was a very sexual lady from day one. When I first met my wife, she was in her early twenties and she had spent the previous few years spreading her sexual wings. I was ten years her senior and had recently escaped from a bad marriage. I was not looking for any serious relationship but my future wife had other ideas. From the first time we met, she knew she wanted to marry me. After playing around with plenty of men, she was ready to settle down and I was a very safe option. I was well established in my career, financially secure, and certainly not a player. In spite of all of that boring stuff, I was a pervert and very sexual myself. I loved the fact that she was young but very experienced in the bedroom. We married after a couple years dating and over the next ten years, we had three kids.
As the years progressed, and life changed, I sensed my wife become frustrated with her freedom in many ways. I have become more of a homebody and she still enjoyed going out with friends. She didn't like me staying at home, but eventually found a nice circle of friends who enjoyed going out with her. I would occasionally join them, but usually let her do her own thing. Looking back, I can see where there were many opportunities for her to satisfy her sexual need for variety on those nights out, yet I have no actual proof that anything ever happened. Early in our marriage, I was jealous at times, but that mellowed over the years. We talked on many occasions about opening up our marriage. While she was very interested in variety herself, she didn't want me playing with other women. Of all the stages, this one took the longest to work through. She knew she wanted to play. we have a great sex lifestyle, but she wanted/needed variety like she had before we met. She also likes to be fucked hard and tossed around a bit by her lovers. That isn't my style, though I have found a bit more aggressive nature over time and can clearly see that she likes it!
The Big Defining Moment:
I don't remember exactly when the first opportunity presented itself, but it must have been in mid to late 2016. She would go out with friends a few times per month. Most of the time, it was a spur of the moment decision and she would email or text me at work letting me know she was going out. I never had a problem with it because I could relax at home with the kids. They were all old enough at this time that they could entertain themselves.
Everything was normal until the next morning. As we got up and moving, my sexy wife asked me if the option to play outside of marriage was still on the table. I told her it was and her response was if it had to be both ways. We discussed further in great detail. One of my first questions was "What caused this topic to come up today?" Of course I knew she went out and I assumed she had met someone interesting. I learned that she had run into some coworkers and a guy she has lusted after was clearly interested in her too. They both flirted openly but she was afraid to follow through because it had been so long since we last talked about playing with others. While we had discussed many times over the years, we never settled on a green light or laid out basic groundrules.
Over the next several days, we continued to discuss everything around playing with others. I also did extensive research online to better understand the hotwifing dynamic. We agreed that she could play with others and I would remain faithful to her. My main expectation was that she would need to meet all my sexual needs for this to work. The minute she put another man first or left me hanging because she played elsewhere, we would either need to end her play or renegotiate our arrangement.
With this green light, she tried to land this guy but it wasn't meant to be and she never had another chance. However, we did learn that I could handle another man pursuing her and her showing interest in another man without too much jealousy. We learned that open communication was the key as my concerns usually grew when I was left to my own imagination to guess what was going on.
The Rules:
As I mentioned above, once I agreed she could play with others, I spent many hours reading about other's experiences and the lessons they learned. This helped me understand what I was comfortable with and where my hard stops resided. My wife and I had numerous conversations about rules, guidelines, and expectations and quickly learned that we felt differently about a lot of things. One of the major hang ups was who could be considered for play. Much of the research I had done said to stay away from friends and coworkers. Just too much risk in the secret getting out if things went bad. However, my wife said she wouldn't be comfortable playing with a stranger and that there had to be a connection for her to feel comfortable. We also talked extensively about my involvement. My wife had tried a threesome once before we met and said in was more like alternating between both guys than actually having sex with both at the same time. As a result, she preferred to focus on one guy at a time which meant that I would be at home waiting to please her and get mine after she finished playing with someone else. We also both agreed that safe play was required for all activities. And open, honest communication was required at all times. She had full discretion on who she slept with, but would do her best to run it past me prior to sealing the deal. The most important rule was that we would fully experience this one time and then discuss how it went for both parties. If either of us didn't like it, we would not hold a grudge and would return to the vanilla lifestyle. It was critical to my wife that I would not hold this over her if it went badly.
The Evolution:
Over the next year, there wasn't much progress. She continued to go out but wasn't just looking for any guy. She wanted someone different than me. I am pretty average in all ways, so if she was going to play, it was going to be with a tall, dark, and handsome type. Especially to pop her hotwife cherry. There were a few closer calls but nothing ever lined up to where it happened. Each near miss was an opportunity to learn and for us to talk more. It was a long arduous process as I would sit at home each of her nights out with a raging boner wondering if tonight would be the night.
Finally Sealing The Deal:
Throughout the summer of 2018, she regularly met up with coworkers after work and on the weekends. We even hosted a few parties at our house. While nothing happened, that I know of, there was always plenty of flirting. I was pretty sure I had an idea who might be her first as one coworker made sure to attend all of the get together when my wife was there. My wife told me I was wrong and that they were just friends. Even when she came home at 5am one morning and told me they sat in the car talking all night. Hmmm?
Eventually, another candidate emerged out of nowhere and my wife seemed committed to making it happen. It was another coworker, but in her same department that started joining their work outings. I wouldn't have pegged him as her type, but he was a tall and solid built man. He wasn't clean shaven, and was about 5 years younger than her. I don't think he was on her radar screen until he started flirting heavily with her one night after consuming plenty of alcohol. We talked the next day, and she agreed that she was finally going to seal the deal. There were some logistical issues to work through. While he was in his late twenties, he still lived with his family. It was a cultural thing. One of his attractions was a heavy foreign accent. It took a couple of weeks to arrange everything. He was going to get a room at a nearby hotel and they could go there after the normal work outing and drinks. It was a great plan in theory, but we learned that letting a guy think long and hard about fucking a married coworker can cause some feelings of buyers remorse. They did end up getting together, but he was so nervous about what was going to happen, he drank too much and had trouble performing. When it was all said and done, they did fuck briefly, but between the alcohol and use of a condom, he wasn't able to stay hard. They did kiss and play for a while in other ways, but she did not get the vigorous fucking she was looking for. She did say he was longer and thicker than me, but it didn't last long enough to satisfy her. If I remember correctly, he did finger her to orgasm and then jacked off on her chest and belly. Then, they showered together and snuggled until he passed out. She left once he passed out and came home to jump my bones. And, I was happy to finish what he started. While not a full success, she did slide another man's cock into her married pussy and shared all the details with me. I think the failure helped me accept the first time without any jealousy. However, it was a bummer for my wife and delayed the true start of her hotwife journey.
If I get 100 views or a handful of commentts, I'll share more! Trust me when I say that this was just the beginning!
